I couldn't help but notice that you have found me(yes,I can see you--sit up straight!). But now that you have indeed located the place of my slumber... what next, I wonder? Were you merely looking for curiosity's sake? Because according to an old, old saying, curiosity killed the cat. I would hate to have such a dreadful consequence as that weighing down upon me, so, in order to protect your safety, I resolve to tell you absolutely nothing about myself, and hope that you go away peacefully to pursue good, healthy, knowledge-expanding things like poetry and arithmetic.

Please understand that I am doing this for your own good... not, as you say, for kicks and giggles.

My sincerest regards,
IGALINA MOUSSOLINI