Greetings, my young Padawans

I am Noogat.

And I like reviewing! I'm not really much of a writer anymore... I blame it on school! These teachers suck the creativity out of you, don't they? I wrote several stories in my childhood, but now, I just don't seem to get the inspiration. Anyway, I can't stand bad spelling and grammar, so if you're here because you're angry I was less than nice in a review to you, it's your own dang fault! Proofread, people! On that note, I'd just like to express my encouragement to all you aspiring authors; may you never give up on this noble endeavor, and keep improving (in a grammatically correct manner)!

Favorite books: HP, LOTR

Favorite movies: HP, LOTR, Star Wars (super excited for the future Hobbit trilogy and new Star Wars trilogy!!!!), and the greatest film ever made, Gladiator

Favorite Harry Potter quotes:

"Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" - Albus Dumbledore

"Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am" - Luna Lovegood

"ARE YOU MAD, MAD-EYE?" Nymphadora Tonks

"He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo" - Fred Weasley

"Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain" - Arthur Weasley

"We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter's the one! And Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!" - Peeves the Poltergeist

"There is no good or evil: only power and those too weak to seek it." - Professor Quirrel

“I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death — if you aren’t as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.” –Severus Snape

"Holey?! You have the whole world of ear-related humor, and you go for holey?!" - Fred Weasley

"Accio brain!" - Ronald Weasley

"Tell them whatever you like. But make it quick, Remus. I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for" - Sirius Black

"Of course I know Dumbledore. Who doesn't know Dumbledore? - Arabella Figg

"17 silver Sickles to a Galleon and 29 Knuts to a Sickle, it’s easy enough" - Rubeus Hagrid

“Can you believe our luck? Of all the trees we could’ve hit, we had to get one that hits back.” - Ronald Weasley

"Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough" Ronald Weasley

"We teachers are rather good at magic, you know" - Minerva McGonagall

"You're fighting a losing battle there, dear" - The Mirror

"Scars can come in useful. I have one myself above my left knee which is a perfect map of the London Underground" - Albus Dumbledore

"MOTORBIKES DON'T FLY!" - Vernon Dursley

"Got to have that ruddy tail removed before he goes to Smeltings" - Vernon Dursley

"Ickle firsties, what fun!" - Peeves the poltergeist

"Shan't say nothing if you don't say please" - Peeves the poltergeist

"But we're not stupid. We know we're called Gred and Forge" - George Weasley

"Ruddy stargazers. Not interested in anythin' closer'n the moon" - Rubeus Hagrid

"Now, Harry you must know all about Muggles, tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?" - Arthur Weasley

"But you would think, wouldn't you, that getting hit forty-five times in the neck with a blunt axe would qualify you to join the Headless Hunt?" - Sir Nicholas de Mimsy Porpington

"We don't send people to Azkaban just for blowing up their aunts" - Cornelius Fudge

"Do us all a favor Perce, and shut up" - Bill Weasley

"If Hagrid's half-giant, she definitely is. Big bones . . . the only thing that’s got bigger bones than her is a dinosaur." - Harry Potter

"I am not forgotten, you know, no, I still receive a very great deal of fan mail... Gladys Gudgeon writes weekly... I just wish I knew why... I suspect it is simply my good looks" - Gilderoy Lockhart

"They're working from within to bring down the Ministry of Magic using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease" - Luna Lovegood

"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," [Dudley] told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?" "No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick." Then he ran before Dudley could work out what he'd said.

Uncle Vernon: Listening to the news! Again?

"Well it changes every day you see," said Harry.

Copy-and-paste-these

If you are a MOVIE QUOTER, which means you go around quoting movies for fun, copy and paste this into your profile

EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If you embrace the weirdness, then copy and paste this onto your profile

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it the present."

If you think Twilight has more fame than it's worth, copy this into your profile

If you are mad that they have not discovered Tatooine, Naboo, Coruscant, and Kashyyyk, and all the other star systems out there, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you wonder why on earth they don't make Jedi Halloween costumes for girls (and are infuriated) copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate it when people refer to a lightsaber as a "lifesaver" copy and paste this into your profile.

Whenever you hear the words Star Wars you stop what you are doing, perk up, and eavesdrop, copy and paste this on your profile

If you like to read, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever had someone just stare at you in public, and you don't know why copy and past this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you are a total klutz copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had random loud singing outbursts in public, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tried to high-five some body and it has taken over 10 tries to actually slap their hand copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever yelled out a random food item during class or just randomly, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get way too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

\An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

You know you are obsessed with Star Wars if...

... your favorite book of the Bible is Luke. (YES)

... you refer to children as 'younglings,' elevators as 'turbolifts,' and bathrooms as 'refreshers.' (Now I do)

... you have looked for Ewoks when entering a wooded area. (YES)

... you address your teachers as "Master." (Now I do)

... you have attempted to use a glowstick as a miniature weapon. (WHO HASN'T?)

... when an object was out of your reach, you have extended your hand toward it and expected it to come to you. (YES)

... you wave you hand in front of you to open automatic doors. (YES)

... you have quoted lines from the Star Wars movies unintentionally. (YES)

... you have ever been surprised to open a refrigerator and find that the milk is not blue. (Why, yes I have... I wonder what strange bantha gives white milk)

... you have ever insulted someone by calling them 'sleemo.' (YES)

... you have painted or drawn a picture in which there are at least two suns in the sky. (yup)

... you understand any of this. (Yes)

You know you are aHarry Potter fan when...

...You cried during the summer when your Hogwarts letter didn't come.

...You have Harry Potter Scene It nights with your friends

...You cried when you learned all about Snape and his love for Lily.

...When you heard about that bridge that collapsed you automatically thought of the Brockdale Bridge and decided Voldemort did it

...You want a big, shaggy, black dog so you can name it “Padfoot”

...You go to the mall with friends and go, “Oh! I forgot, we have to stop in here for something…” and you then proceed to drag them into a store that sells HP merchandise

...You sobbed HARD when Dobby died.

...You run around the house on a broomstick pretending you're playing Quidditch

...You search for Crumple Horned Snorcacks.

...You wore black the day (or week) after DH came out for all of the characters who died.

...People have to leave the room while watching HP movies with you because you sit there and say the lines aloud… sometimes before they even come.

...Spending 100 for HP merchandise in one go sounds perfectly acceptable

...You have Sharpied a lightning-bolt shaped scar on your forehead.

...You ran at Platform 9 going, “Please, please, please go through!” When you didn't, you blamed Dobby.

...You can list the five exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration (even though you know food is the only one specified in the books)

...You really, really, REALLY wish you owned Hermione's bag with the Undetectable Extension Charm.

...Your life would be a lot easier if you had access to some Skiving Snackboxes.

...You close your eyes tightly and tell yourself, "It's not over until the Fat Lady sings... Darn, she already did"'

...You get ticked off when people say they only watch the movies.

...You sign up for an HP discussion class at college as an elective.

...You always win at "Rocks, Papers, Scissors" because you yell "Avada Kedavra!" and then explain to the other person that they died. And no, they cannot come back to life now.

...Chemistry= Potions. End of discussion.

...You know the lyrics to "Weasley is Our King" and like to sing it to yourself

...Walking up and down the stairs you say, "Quickly, they might change!"

..."The Mysterious Ticking Noise" is your ringtone.

...You walk into the bank and ask, "Excuse me, but where are the Goblins?"

...You carry around chocolate in case of a Dementor attack.

...You see a telephone booth and immediately run inside it, dial 6-2-4-4-2 and stare at the floor, praying it will drop and take you to the Ministry of Magic.

...You have problems watching the movies because you have a tendency to throw things at the screen, screaming, "That wasn't in the book!!"

...You walk out of a particularly hard class and say loudly, "One more lesson like that and I just might pull a Weasley"

...You nickname difficult teachers or coworkers "Umbridge" and you really don't care if you're the only person who gets the joke.

...You stir just about anything--tea, chocolate milk, coffee-- clockwise after 7 counter-clockwise stirs.

...You see a snake at the zoo or pet store and you try to speak to it in Parseltongue.

Zen For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
2. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
3. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
5. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
6. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
7. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...
8. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
9. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
10. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
11. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
12. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
14. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
15. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
18. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
19. I couldn't repair your brake, so I made your horn louder.
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
22. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
25. A day without sunshine is like night.
26. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
27. Getting lost in thought may put you in unfamiliar territory.
28. 42.7 of all statistics are made up on the spot.
29. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
30. You're diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
31. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
32. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
33. Despite the high cost of living, it's still extremely popular.
34. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
35.The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
36. Drive way too fast and you don't have to worry about cholesterol.
37. If you intend to live forever, so far, so good.
38. Borrow money only from pessimists; they don't expect it back.
39. Support bacteria; they're the only culture some people have.
40. If at first you don't succeed, destroy the evidence.
41. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
42. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
43. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
44. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
45. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
46. Success always occurs in private; failure, in full view.
47.The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
48.The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
49.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
50.To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
51.You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
52.The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard (and not enough chlorine!)
53. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
54. If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of payments.
55. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Things we are not allowed to do at Hogwarts

"I will not tell everyone that I overheard my sister saying, 'So I was like, 'Avada Kadavra!' and he was like, 'Dead.' "

"I will not ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling."

"I will not call Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret."

"I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort."

"I will not say 'dude, get a life' to the Dark Lord."

"I will not ask Professor Snape why he stole Batman's cape."

"I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my calculus book.

"I will not spread rumors saying, 'When Voldemort goes to bed he checks his closet for Mrs. Weasley.' "

"I will not tell Penelope Clearwater that Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it dances naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy."

"I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard!" when sent to the headmasters office."

"I will not send You-Know-Who a letter saying, 'I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy!' "

"Professor Flitwick's name is not Yoda."

"I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination class"

"If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the situation and draw a Dark Mark on their arm."

"I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand."

"I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing."

"I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens."

"I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals."

"I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween"

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU, - That's all folks! tralala la la la lalaaaa tra la la la lala la laaaaaa...