Err...hi. -cue awkward silence-

-Looks around shiftily-

Name: Gabe

Gender: does pervert count?

Address: soooooomewheeeeeeeeere oooover the rainbow!

Fav Books: Harry Potter, Maximum Ride, Hunger Games, Inheritance Cycle

Age: Eleven. I'm too old for my years. -Ive been scarred for life- Those damn lemons!

Other: i love bacon. i can make a brick wall perverted (holy-insert-swear-word-of-your-choice-here) Also, on the perv scale 1-10, i put it up to the 15. damn. my ucking '' button doesnt ucking work. uck! I will now use 'ph' in place or ''
Ive made mistakes with my prophile. Ha, doesn't that look like pedophile? lol. I'M A PHUCKING MALE!

please PM me! i dunno what to do for my first fic!

I might not even make a fic.

WEIRD!

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

If you believe in Jesus Christ, put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because the in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

If you're a Christian and don't care who knows, copy and paste this into your profile

A guy wrote this... why do boys fall in love with girls?

1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

3. How cute they look when they sleep.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms.

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the your cell after you just had a big fight.

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" - even though you know that an hour later...

16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".

18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt. i think every girl is guilty of this :)

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).

23. The way they say "I miss you".

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt. This chain started in 2002. It is a love chain letter. In an hour you are supposed to repost this. Congratulations!! You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain letter on the internet. Once you read this letter, you must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour) post it with the title "why do boys fall in love with girls? " After you send it, make a wish and it will come true...

ahahaha kinda...

nm it didn't work O_o eh, figures

Quotes

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

"You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

If a quiz is quizzical, whats a test?

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

He who laughs last thinks slowest

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But there's also sharks, seaweed, and toxic waste.

Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

When life give you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

Everyone has a wild side--me and my friends just prefer to make them public.

Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.

No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils"

I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.

When all else fails, use duct tape.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"

"Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon."

"There are 1000 ways I could kill you, and 941 of them hurt."
"So what do the other 59 of them do? Tickle?"

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"Life is empty and so is the fridge."

"The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and cover me with clothes. Don't let it find me."

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge; I'll pick out the funeral arrangements.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Live dangerous…Run with scissors.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that

Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the electronic device to get it to work again

Be a loser! Because being cool is so overrated

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

The only way to make my PC faster is throwing it out the window.

There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate

And then the water parted...and fishes died...

There is no such thing as darkness, only absence of light...

Growing old is mandatory...Growing up is optional

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way; wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

I'm a bomb technician, if you see me running, you better catch up!

Darn! I thought I had hidden the pitch fork, and did anyone notice the tail.

Don't dissect frogs... dissect elephants!

You are too sarcastic for your own good!

I'm going to go give him a piece of my mind, but not my brain I need that.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

What doesn't kill me... Had better start running.

Bad stuff happens, mostly to me, so don't worry.

“You can’t go wrong with bacon.” - axisfiraga

You can't fix stupid.

If you are a serial killer, get the heck away from me! If you are a cereal killer, get the heck away from my Cheerios!

Wake Up, Read, Eat, Read, Go to School, Read, Eat, Read, Go to Sleep, Repeat

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

The night is a very dark time for me.

It's dark for everyone, moron.

NO! Not for Alaskans, or people with night vision goggles!

RAWR I'm a DORKASAUR

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones

I know the traffic signals by heart; green means go, yellow means speed up, and red means check for cops.

You have enemies? Good, because that means you've stood for something sometime in your life.

Life's journey is always easier when you hear a friend’s footsteps beside you.

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

I am who I am. Your approval isn't needed.

Be yourself - it's the only thing people can't say you're doing wrong.

Happiness is just around the corner; too bad the world is round!

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

If you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window!

I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.

Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart.

Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

Experience: That most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn!

I'm bored ... run for your sanity.

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

I am a grown up. Except, grown ups don't call themselves grown ups, they call themselves adults, so maybe I'm not a grown up yet. But that's okay, you get away with more if you're a kid.

The more I think about, the more I'm sure I've lost my mind. But, crazy people don't know they're crazy, so I guess I'm ok. But thinking I'm ok because I think I'm crazy is saying I don't think I'm crazy, so I may be crazy.

You're single. Make the best of it. It doesn't mean you're not good enough for anyone. It means no one is good enough for you.

SCREW HUGS! I'm gonna tackle you when I see you!

Of course I'm out of my mind... It's dark and scary in there!

Life is like a corndog. I don't know why. It just is.

On a scale of one to crazy, I'm a penguin!

Today I will be happier than a bird with a french fry

When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade

When life gives you lemons make apple juice and then laugh when people try to figure out what the heck you did.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

When Life gives you lemons, through them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and yell ‘I HATE LEMONS YOU MORON!’

When life gives you lemons, say “Hey, I like lemons, got anything else for me?”

When life gives you lemons make orange juice and sit back and let other people wonder how you did it.

When life throws you lemons... throw something harder back!

Unless life also hands you sugar and water, your lemonade is gonna suck!

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Right now I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?

Earth is the Insane Asylum for the universe.

I hear voices in my head, but that’s okay. Most of them are pretty nice

I'm probably in the sky flying with the fishes; or maybe in the ocean swimming with the pigeons; see my world is different!

I have to speak my mind because what is in my mind is always more interesting than what is happening in the world outside my mind.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork.

The problem is you can love anybody you want, but so can she

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

Life is like a pack of gum... I have yet to figure out why

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching TV by candlelight

If aliens are looking for intelligent life then why are you worried?

The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

Did you just call me a beep? Because a beep is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

How fast do you go on the highway? As fast as you want, as long as you don't get caught by the cops.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don’t mess with me: I've got a stick.

Some people are like lava lamps, fun to look at, but not very bright.

I'm the kind of guy who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

Scatter me across the sky, and I'll shine all night, and just like a star, I'll end up falling for you.

"Never memorize something that you can look up."
— Albert Einstein

J.K. Rowling proved that some young adult novels can be over 500 pages. Stephanie Meyers proved that some shouldn't be. (I don't have anything against Twilight, this just makes me laugh.)

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

You're born an original, don't die a copy

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

The best things in life are unseen- that's why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream

There are all kinds of art. There's the art of drawing, the art of dancing, the art of science, and of course the refined art of being an idiot

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

If ignorance is bliss, then why aren't more people happy?

In a world full of cheerios, be a fruit loop.

I am temporarily distracted by a shiny object.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

I'm an angel honest... the horns are just there to keep the halo straight

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

Best friends, it’s who we are . . . instead of saying "excuse me" we push each other out of the way and say "move". We hug each other and laugh at any random moment. We argue about the stupidest things then we find out we were both wrong.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

Fang: "Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What have you been eating, rocks?"
Max: "Why, is your head missing some?"

Max: “Did you know it wasn’t me, the other Max?”
Fang: “Yeah.”
Max: “When?”
Fang: “Right away.”
Max: “How? We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?
Fang: “She offered to cook breakfast.”

Fang: "Meaning what? We're going to pretend nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out in the open."
Max: "Have you been watching Oprah again?"

Gazzy: "I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!"

ter Borcht: "Is dere anysing special about you? Anysing vorth saving?"
Fang: "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."

"Ninety-eight percent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other 2 have to generate their own sex and violence."

— Franklin P. Jones

A friend is like a flower,
a rose to be exact,
Or maybe like a brand new gate
that never comes unlatched.
A friend is like an owl,
both beautiful and wise.
Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost,
whose spirit never dies.
A friend is like a heart that goes
strong until the end.
Where would we be in this world
if we didn't have a friend?

the six truths of life

1. You can't lick all of your teeth with your tongue.

2. You just tried to do the above.

3. The first truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're realizing you're an idiot.

5. You'll copy this into your profile for some other sucker to read it.

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.

Stupid Things! lol

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a grape squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property(Im such a goody-goody!)
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
59. Have said 'Hey! Thats my line' even though you got it from somewhere else
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out-
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82.Have put a hairclip on your lip and figured out it hurt,then did it again.
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class.
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.

Score-83(Phaylle(my version of fail))

I enjoy doing really random things...

Such as:

1- Yelling in someone's ear for no reason

2- poking people and saying i didn't do it

3- correcting the teacher when they are right and making them fuss about it

4- telling people to shut up when they aren't talking

5- When someone says "screw you" say..."I have...it was very painful..."

6- Give random dedutions to people like, "I am 99.9 percent sure you are incompetent in the art of incompetency."

7- Yell random french curse words at teachers! (except in french class...)

~Theater Kid~
Ever been in a School play?
Have you ever seen a Broadway/West End show?
xSeen more than 10 shows?
Have you ever been/are you in school shows?
Does your current job involve theater in some way?
Want to end up working in/for theater?
Can you recite all of the lyrics to your favorite play/musical? (Wicked, West Side Story, Sound of Music, Grease...)
x Do you break out into random songs whenever/wherever?
Do you like the Sound of Music?
Did you like the Broadway show?
TOTAL: 2

~Redneck~
Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
Do you drive a four-wheeler?
Do you ride four-wheelers?
x Do you like to get dirty?
Do you like country music?
Do you have a broken car in your back yard?
x Do you own a cowboy hat?
Do you live on more then 1 acres?
Do you have more than 4 different animals at your home?
Do you watch Larry the Cable Guy movies?
TOTAL: 2 again

~Goth~
Do you wear black eyeliner?
x Is most of your clothing dark?
x Do you think about death often?
Do you want to die?
x Are you a social outcast?
Are you pale?
Do you own something from Hot Topic?
Do you enjoy Tim Burton movies?
x Are you mean?(to my phriends...)
TOTAL: 3.5

~Punk~
Can you skateboard?
Do you wear Vans, dcs, converse, ett.?
x Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
x Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops?
Do you watch the x-games?
Do you have any piercings?
x Do you like/wear a mohawk?
Do you wear Band t-shirts?
x Are you a rebel without a cause?
Have you called someone a poseur recently?
Does it tick you off when people say poser instead of poseur?
TOTAL: 4

~Prep~
x Do you say the word "like" alot?
Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch/AE/Aero?
Do the people in Hot Topic scare you?
x Do you laugh alot?
Have/do you watch(ed) LAGUNA BEACH?
Do you like pop music?
Do you want/have a little dog?
Do you smile a lot?
Do you hang out with your friends alot?
Do you always carry a purse/wallet?
TOTAL: 2

~Hippie~
Is your hair long?
x Do you own a tie-dye shirt?
x Do you want to save the animals?
x Do you think war is unnecessary?
x Do you like classic rock and trippy music?
Have you ever participated in a protest? (SAINT'S PETITION!)
x Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?
x Do you play a ukulele or os?
Do/have you ever smoked the peace pipe?
Do you wear a peace sign around your neck?
Do you just sit in the grass with your friends and play guitar? (the first part)
TOTAL: 6

~Gangsta~ (oh shat)
Do you act ghetto?
Do you wear do-rags?
Do you like hip-hop?
Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?
Do you believe he's alive?
Do you like afros?
Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?
Do you like to dance?
Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?
TOTAL: 0

~Emo~
Do you cry often?
x Do you wear hoodies?
x Do you like loud music?
x Do people not understand you?
x Do you write your own poems? (haiku phor science...don't judge me!)
x Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?
x Have you ever cut yourself?
x Are you LONELY?
Do you like Ohio is for Lovers by Hawthorne Heights?
x Do you think a lot?
TOTAL: 8

~Surfer~
Do you surf?
Do you wear flip flops year-round? (I used to)
Is your hair shaggy? (layered, but pretty much the same thing)
Do you wake up before 6 every morning?
x Do you own any pairs of shorts?
Are you tan?
x Do you want to be at the beach right now?
Do you hate tourists?
TOTAL: 2

~Geek~
Do you wear glasses?
x Do you get good grades?
Do you use an inhaler?
Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?
Does your mom pick out your clothes?
x Are you on the computer often?
x Do you ever get picked on?
Do you look forward to going to school?
x Are you shy around the opposite gender? (somewhat...)
TOTAL: 3.5

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

Repost this and spread the stupidity! Its called therapy

PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE!

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!!

Copy and paste this into your profile if you and your BFFs watch movies just to laugh at them and make fun of them.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

95% Of teens Would be on edge if Robert Patterson were on the ledge of a tall building ready to jump, if you are 1of the 5% who would yell "Do a FLIP!" while holding a camera, Copy and paste this onto your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that stupid Trix rabbit
some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you wish that you could fly so much it hurts, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a complete pervert, post this on your profile

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love irratating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate Brigid, post this on your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you believe in love at first sight, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that music is the key to the future, copy and paste this onto your profile.

IF YOU BELIEVE IN GLOBAL WARMING, COPY AND PASTE! END IT TODAY! IT AFFECTS OUT TOMMOROW!

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insanse, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, FreakyTwilightLovero.o, emoTWiLiGHT, sk8rchick2355, Number-1-Twilighters, HerMemoriesErased, x.rosalieorcatherine.xlol, daydreamingxxx, RabidFangFan, The-Blind-Pyro-Organization

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe), I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep)VOLVO S60R,LoveMeForeverORLoveMeNever, EdwardEclipse, Alexz1jude, DaisyPinker(I'm alwayson FanFic! Like 24-7! I mean it! Really! Really really! god dammit i'm twitching again! don't judge! My mommy says I',m special! don't look at me like that! Why! why! why cant you people just leave me alone! Oh, god! THE VOICES! THERE BACK! NO! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE! oh, go I'm hypervenilating, the blackness, i want to give to the blackness! I cant breath! Help! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!-big breathe- okay I'm better! hehe.), Julie AV,i-love-fnick, FangxxMylove, The-Blind-Pyro-Organization

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, danceswithwings119, gottaluvtwilight,freexflyer, Green.Winged.Mistress, MoonStarWithWings, Yourcool79, MyNameIsCAB,macO'Niell, 2sides2evrystory, Julie AV, i-love-fnick, FangxxMylove, The-Blind-Pyro-Organization

If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.

If you think Iggy won't die a virgin copy this into your profile

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! If you cluod raed tihs put tihs in yuor polirfe!

THE STORY OF JACK SCHITT

Jack: It's pronounced "shit", don't get it wrong.

Who is Jack Schitt, you ask? The lineage is finally revealed! Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation!

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O Schitt, the owner of Kneedeep N. Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' wishes, Deep Schit married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then know as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout their childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the "Schitt-Happens" wedding. The children of the Schitt-Happens are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left the home to tour the world, and recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!", you can correct them.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair!).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you are against abortion, post this in your profile.(I nearly cried)

"Let's eat grandpa!!"
"Let's eat, grandpa!!"
Punctuation saves lives.

My name is Sarah.

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else I’m locked up

All day long.

When I’m awake I’m all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I’ll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says it’s my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!" I scream

But it’s now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While I lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Sarah

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, COPY THAT POEM INTO YOUR PROFILE!

"I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you.

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she

wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

You're never alone...

93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it.

Don't be one of those people.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste this in your profile.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Colombian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in you're heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2) ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

Iph Barbie isnt a WHORE, then why do we have to buy her boyphriends?

.: There's three ways to do things:.
.: The right way :.
.: The wrong way :.
.: And my way, which is wrong too, but faster!:.

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every sentence. XD

Sterotypes

Post this to your profile if you hate stereo types. I am the ones that are bolded. Note i didn't write this.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be f-ing them all.
A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russian
I German so I MUST be a Nazi
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. (single-ISH)
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I'm a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I'm a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy (at least a little)
I am popular so I must be a BITCH
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I talk to guys so I must be a SLUT
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I'm STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I'm GAY so I'm after EVERY straight guy around.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I go to an ALL GIRLS SCHOOL, so I MUST be a lesbian.
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I Love my Dad:

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out
of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, post this on your profile

FUN STUFF TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR:

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

The tooth phairy encourages kids to sell their body parts phor money

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia