Hi! Well umm I dont have much to say about myself other than I love books, clothes and fashion. I love swimming too. This probably a bit boring so here our some random and funny things to keep you authors amused:

My friends think blonde jokes are bad but here are some: (Srry Blondes!)

A blonde walks into a shop and says " Can I buy that T.v?" The shop assisant said "no dont sell to blondes. The blonde dyed her hair brunette and went back but the said he didn't sell to brunettes. She died her hair pink and went back and he said " Dont sell to blondes" "How do you know I'm a blonde?" she asked "Cause thats a microwave"

A blonde and 2 brunettes were going up the stairway to heaven. Each stair had a joke and there were 100 hundred stairs. If you laughed at a joke you sent back to the real world if you didn't you got to go to heaven. The first brunette lughed at the joke on the 57th stair and the second on th 95th stair. The blonde was on the 99th stair when she laughed. "Why did you laugh you were so close?" "Because" she answered "I just got the first joke!"

Enough of that...

Here are some funny quotes:

When life hads you a lemon squirt life in the eye and run like hell

Don't knock on Deaths door ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Commiting suicide is a way of telling god "You cant fire me I quit!"

I'm not afraid of death. Whats he gonna do? kill me?

Time is a good teacher. It's just bad he kills all his pupils.

Your mum looks like Voldermort.(Please dont hurt me)

You cry I cry You laugh I laugh You go jump off a cliff I laugh even harder.

The worst time to die is playing charades. Everyone will think your acting until they prode you and shout "S*t she's/he's dead.

This ones a joke...

Lily's teacher was telling the class that a whale could not swallow a human whole but Lily thought otherwise. "Yes they can" she said "Jonah got eaten whole, I'll ask him when I go to heaven."

"What if he goes to hell?" asked the teacher. "Then you ask him" replied Lily

oooooooh burn.

Here are some authors on fanfic that have written postivley GREAT stories!

Cullenclnluvr-1

balckandivorykeys

Grace Cullen

Oxygen.and.Cucumber

Heartlandlover95

Silver Tidal Wave (My sis check out her stories Forbidden Love and 150 ways to annoy Harry Potter. They are SO good.)

There will be more but so far these are the first. =)

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!! 7/10/10

On Friday J.K Rowling announced on Opera that the 8th Harry Potter book is yet to be told and that she could easily write more books for him. YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I AM SO GONNA WEAR A HARRY POTTER TSHIRT TO THE NEXT TWILIGHT MOVIE! (SRRY TWILIGHT FANS I DO LIKE TWILIGHT BUT I THINK IF I DID THAT IT WOULD BE QUITE FUNNY!)

WHO LIKES YOUTUBE????????

WHO LIKES TO SEE PEOPLE DO STUPID THINGS LIKE PAINT THEMSELVES PURPLE?????????

THEN CHECK OUT CHARLIEISSOCOOLLIKE'S CHANNEL ON YOUTUBE AND BE READY FOR A BUNDLE OF LAUGHS!

HI GUYS THIS IS ANOTHER JOKE!

Four guys went in for a job interview. The boss of the firm wanted to know how quick witted they were so he asked them "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The first guys said thinking "Because you do it all the time!"

The second guy said blinking "Because you do it without thinking!"

The third guy said light "Because it can travel around the world like 27 times in a second!"

The fourth guy said diarrohea

The boss was baffled "Why?" He asked

"Because" he started "If I eat something bad before I can think before I can blink before I can turn on the bathroom light I've pooped my pants!

That one REALLY got me laughing!

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Will share their umbrella with you
BEST FRIENDS: Will take yours and scream "RUN, BITCH RUN!"

Friends: Ask why you're cryin
Best Friends: has a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

Friends: say you can do better
Best friends: Will call him up and say "You have seven day to live"

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "LETS DO THAT AGAIN!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friends: Help you get over a boy
Best Friends: will go up to the boy punch him then say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

Friends: know only a few things about you
Best Friends: could write a very embarssing biography about you

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Get angry at you for calling them late in the night
BEST FRIENDS: Ask why it took so long for you to call

FRIENDS: Wonder about your love life
BEST FRINDS: Could blackmail you with it

Friends: Will help you find prince charming
Best Friends: Would kidnap him and bring him to you

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool withyou at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

Friends: fade
Best Friends: Are forever

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!!

But I love them to death anyway!

Hey guys! I would just like to say that I hope you like my stories. Cause I am trying so hard to make them good and I would like to try writing books when I am older and I need to know how my writing is. THANKS!