1.Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind

2.Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names

3.Speak when your angry- you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

4.Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry

5.Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor

6.I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity

7.I am not young enough to know everything

8.To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am

9.Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry

10.Don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night

11.Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it

12.Talk low, talk slow, and don't talk too much

13.Never knock on Death's door- ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!

14.There was once a time when God and the Church ruled the world-that was called the middle ages

15.CIRCUS, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

16.You know that light? The one at the end of the tunnel? Don't get your hopes up. It;s really the light of an oncoming train.

17.God put me on this earth to accomplish a number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.