Peter has enough problems with high school, his internship, and his arachnid alter ego. Throw in a merc with a mouth covered in unfairly sexy red spandex, and things get a little crazy. Wade just wants to eat tacos, listen to bad tween pop music, and participate in some soft-core torture and murder. When a certain little spider swings into his life, things get complicated.

Peter is starting his freshman year at Columbia University. Like any other totally normal college student, he has totally normal things to worry about. Like getting to his 8 a.m. chemistry course on time. And finding people to sit with in the dining hall. And meeting his new roommate. ... Who happens to be a powerful alien god and (ex?) super villain. Totally. Normal.

When New York City gets shut down by a massive snow storm a week before Christmas, Peter makes a very important discovery. The vodka helps.