MY PROFILE:

RACE:
Human

GENDER:
Male

AGE:
Born in the early to mid-80's

ZODIAC SIGN:
Capricorn/Dog

OCCUPATION:
I spend alot of time sitting.

HOBBIES do not include:
pottery making, knitting, bowling with coconuts, playing pool with plump pumpkins, making candles, lighting candles, cleaning up burnt candle wax, drinking in Irish pubs, drinking in Chinese pubs, drinking in libraries with small dogs, playing Dance Dance Revolution, writing all my hobbies down, collecting expensive cars, collecting eggplants, collecting pokemon, collecting Smurfs, collecting delicious Care Bears, collecting shrunken heads, collecting Little Homies, collecting Dragon Balls so that I can get a magic wish from Shenlong the dragon, collecting platinum teeth coverings stolen from rap artists, collecting Magic cards, actually knowing how to play Magic cards, using the Pythagorean Theorem every morning when I get out of bed, telling a two year old what sin cos tan csc sec cot on a trigonometric calculator do, designing stamps, making stamps, collecting stamps, showing off a non-existent stamp collection to pretty girls, worshipping Optimus Prime, pretending to be Optimus Prime, actually expecting whoever reads this knows who and/or what Optimus Prime is, driving a big rig, forcing camels to drink tequila, running Microsoft, choke-slamming the Big Show, gardening on planet Mars, exploring planet Mars in a golf cart, helping the Martian Manhunter fight white Martians, eating Mars bars, selling pictures of Sailor Mars from Sailor Moon playing patty cake, defending against a Martian invasion of little green men, playing poker with the Jolly Green Giant, building giant robots that combine together to form bigger giant robots, having the Constructicons merge and form Devastator so that they can battle the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers' Megazord, scoring four touchdowns in one game, getting a job as a shoe salesman, eating roasted M&Ms stolen from cockroaches, being a character on a Fox TV show for more than a decade, getting recalled as governor of California and getting replaced by The Terminator/ Conan the Barbarian, drinking Chinese diet tea, getting elected to the House of Commons, putting out fires on mountains with an iron fan, feeding wee turtles barbecue pork buns and shrimp dumplings, working at Starbucks, building rice-rockets, drinking milk tea with tapioca balls and eating deep fried ice cream, eating piroshkis, making and eating bagels, eating watermelon and drinking Kool-Aid on hot summer days, drinking Thai iced tea, eating beef wellington, making and then eating tamales, using a rice dispenser over and over again, eating Pez, eating Pocky, eating red peas and potatoes, opening cans of Spam, cooking Spam, eating Spam, drinking goat milk, having tea and crumpets, actually knowing what crumpets are, prospecting for gold, drinking tea made from monkey-picked leaves, wearing a brown paper bag over my head, wearing a brown paper bag as a shirt and starting a fashion craze, living inside a brown paper bag, eating at Jollibee, throwing parades for myself, doing horseback archery, pretending to be Super Mario, finding Nemo, knot tying, knot untying, stealing hobbies listed in Blogs to add to this list, building 500 foot fortresses out of legos, eating green eggs and ham, calling myself Sam-I-Am, making mud pies, selling mud pies, making you eat mud pies, doing the Golden Bell set every morning, getting my hands on delicious Trix cereal, swinging tree to tree like a chimpanzee, breathing in, breathing out, not breathing at all, blinking, not blinking, keeping my eyes open, keeping my eyes closed, listing non-hobbies as hobbies as a hobby, being a human being, being a human doing, being a human, being human, being something other than human, being a ninja turtle, being nosy, finding out what your hobbies are, finding out why I am finding out what your hobbies are, knowing what my hobbies are, and actually taking this list seriously

WORDS FROM ME:
I write fanfics mainly to improve my writing skills and to have fun creating interesting stories. If you like my stuff, leave a review. If you hate my stuff, leave one anyway. I welcome all reviews good and bad.

Notes on my work:

My Futurama Story:

Untold Adventures
Zoidberg stands up for himself! Scruffy's secret past! Professor and Hermes have a life or death struggle without the PE Crew! Rated PG13
Futurama - PG-13 - English - Action/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8220 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-27-04 - Published: 12-31-03

I used to have a Futurama story on this site, but I have deleted it because I heard that Fanfiction.net does not allow fanfics in script format (!?!?). Luckily, this was my only story not in script format. Apparently this rule has been around for a while, but they just recently started to enforce it. Thanks to the three people who reviewed it!

I found a new home for this story at The Leelazone's Futurama Madhouse, here:

Smithers fanfic: It's finished! After uploading the 4th and final chapter, I'd like to thank the handful of people who reviewed the earlier chapters. Thanks everybody, your reviews encouraged me to finish. Sorry I took so long between chapters. I was busy with other things in my life, and to be honest, writing this story was a big challenge to me. Being a straight male who never reads romance stories, it was hard to write a romance from the perspective of a man in love with Mr. Burns... and then write from the perspective of a female in love with that man!

My Diablo fanfic: This story takes place in between the first and second games. It is told from the perspective of a Warrior from the western lands (the kind from the first game, but not the one who defeated Diablo). I finished writing the third (and last chapter) the day before the third game came out (May 15th 2012). I didn't proof read it too closely, so I may update it with corrections later.

"Alice In Evergreen Terrace" and "Lisa In Wonderland":

As I am writing this, it has been a year since I've joined Fanfiction.net, although I have not released as many stories as I would like to have, and my chapter updates take too long, writing for this site has been a good experience for me. I originally wrote the first version of "Alice In Evergreen Terrace" years ago, in my freshman year of high school. I wrote a second version the following year, and I created a third version of the story for this site when I joined back in '03. For my first-year anniversary of joining this site, I have released a *FINAL* version of this story, with all the mistakes I could find edited out. For everyone who reviewed this story: Thank you, your comments (good and bad!) encouraged me to continue writing.

I have released a chaptered version of "Lisa In Wonderland" for my first-year anniversary of joining Fanfiction.net. It was originally one huge 15000 word long chapter. It was a marathon read, I broke it down into six chapters to make it easier on new readers.

This Profile first uploaded 12/31/03*

This profile last updated 05/14/12*