I decided it was time to give my profile a complete overhaul, since I've been on this site for five years now, and have been writing stories for four years.

First off, some quick facts.

Name: Andrew

Age: 18

Birthday: November 12th, 1991

Eyes: Bluish-grey

Hair: Brown

Location: The state of Virginia in the United States of America, though I am originally from the state of Washington, the place were the Twilight books take place. (Makes me embarrassed to be a Washingtonian, since everyone thinks I like Twilight since it takes place there, but no, Twilight is not the only thing to come out of there, you also have famous old-time singer Bing Crosby, star of the 1960's Batman TV show, Adam West, famous guitarist Jimi Hendrix, and the leader of the cult grunge band, Nirvana, the late Kurt Cobain.)

Race: Techinically, human, since I don't count things like white, black, Hispanic, or Asian as races, but I'm white.

Likes: video games, movies, Marvel Comics, Pokemon, Batman, Superman, and Transformers.

Dislikes: Holier than thou cunts, fanboys, stupid people, party voters, hypocrites, and extreme Conservatives/extrme Liberals. The only way to go, as far as I'm concerned, is moderate.

Ambitions: To become the next big name star in Hollywood.

Favorite films:

Top 5

5. Tim Burton's Batman

4. The original Superman, starring Christopher Reeve

3. Michael Bay's Transformers (Revenge of the Fallen shares this spot with original 2007 film as well)

2. The Patriot- Best movie about the American Revolutionary War I've ever seen, and the best movie I've seen Heath Ledger (RIP) in besides The Dark Knight.

1. Red Dawn- the original 1984 film about a fictional invasion of the United States by the Soviet Union, Cuba, and Nicaragua. I'm interested in seeing the 2010 remake, though.

Favorite video games: Pokemon games, Halo trilogy, Metal Gear Solid series, Resident Evil series, Freedom Fighters (hope they eventually make the sequel to it) Paper Mario, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, Star Fox series, Goldeneye 007, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, Grand Theft Auto IV, The Legend of Zelda series.

Best movie trilogies I've ever seen:

5. The Indiana Jones trilogy (although I did enjoy Kingdom of the Crystal Skull) Harrison Ford as a world travelling archaeologist who battles the Nazis, Thuggees, and Soviets for an ancient artifact with mystical powers.

4. The original Star Wars trilogy: The classic story of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia and their cool friends uniting to take down the evil Galactic Empire, plus, one of my favorite villains of all time, Darth Vader.

3. The Terminator trilogy (although I did enjoy Terminator: Salvation) Arnold Schwarzenegger as a time-traveling cyborg from the future sent to kill Sarah Conner in the first film, and then to protect John Connor in the second and third films.

2. Back to the Future trilogy- Three fun-filled adventure movies with Michael J. Fox playing Marty McFly, with his good friend, a scientist by the name of Dr. Emmet Brown, as they travel to the years 1985, 1955, 2015, and 1885 using a time-travelling DeLorean.

1. The Karate Kid trilogy- Famous 80's teen star Ralph Macchio and Academy Award nominee Pat Morita star together in a story about how two people strike a great friendship and overcome the odds, whether it be stopping harassing bullies, a vengeful boy who wants Daniel dead, or the leaders of a karate dojo who want revenge. By all means, fuck the remake, you can't replace Pat Morita with Jackie Chan.

Favorite books: All of S.E. Hinton's classic teenage drama novels, the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling, Jaws by Peter Benchley, Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Best horror movies I've ever seen. Just two.

2. Jaws- The story of a giant great white shark that attacks a New England beach resort, and three men, the chief of police, a Captain Ahab-esque fisherman, and a marine biologist go out to stop it.

1. The Exorcist- Not the scariest movie ever made as people always like to say, but definitely the most disturbing I've ever seen. A movie about a little girl that gets possessed by some unknown force (whether it be the Devil or some other demon, it's up to the viewer to decide) and two Catholic priests that try to save her. Parts of it don't feel like a horror movie, but more of a straight drama, and the really disturbing stuff with the little girl's deformed face doesn't really come in until the final twenty minutes of the film. If you have a strong stomach and are looking for a good story, I highly recommend.

Religious beliefs: I'm a Protestant Christian, part of a small sect called the Assemblies of God, although I have been attending a Salvation Army church. I've also looked into other religions when I had doubts about my faith, including Buddhism, Scientology, and I was even an Athiest for a while before coming back to Christianity.

Favorite comedians: Robin Williams and George Carlin.

I also have a Facebook account, and a Myspace that I don't log into anymore. I won't display them here, if you want them, you ask for them.

Information about my stories

Royalty in Exile (hiatus) Haven't touched this story since 2007, basically a re-telling of the movie Rumble Fish with Pokemon characters.

Sharpedos!- (complete) The only story that I've ever completed. A re-telling of the movie Red Dawn with Pokemon characters.

Their War, Our World (in progress) Pokemon/Transformers crossover. Got the idea after seeing the 2007 live-action Michael Bay film.

Love of a Hero (hiatus) My first non-Pokemon fanfic, a Resident Evil/Spider-Man crossover. Haven't touched this one in a while either.

The Covenant's Revenge (hiatus) Pokemon/Halo crossover. I still have the second chapter partway written, but have some insane writer's block on this one.

The Batman (in progress) Pokemon/Batman crossover. Got this idea after seeing The Dark Knight.

The Man of Steel (hiatus/seriously considering cancelling it) Resident Evil/Superman crossover. I published this back in 2009, but not a single review has been left for it. Weak. Maybe I'll cancel this.

Secrets, Lies, and Love (in progress/main focus) A Karate Kid story, basically a story of how Daniel and Ali reunite after seven years since the events of the first movie. Got second chapter halfway written, but I'm moving soon, plus I have school.

The Future they Never Wanted (new story/in progress/main focus) A story idea I got after playing Modern Warfare 2. A story about how Team Rocket and a selfish act of a certain character starts World War III. Haven't started second chapter yet, but I'm in process of moving and night school.

Favorite quotes by George Carlin (may he rest in peace and take over Hell)

I had an interesting morning: I got into an argument with my Rice Krispies; I distinctly heard, "Snap, Crackle, Fuck you." I'm not sure which one of them said it - I was reaching for the artificial sweetener at the time and not looking directly into the bowl - but I heard it. I said, "Well, you can all just sit there in the milk, as far as I'm concerned, until I find out which one of you said that." Mass punishment: the idea is to turn them against one another. Hmm, silly me, big punishment; that's what Rice Krispies do - sit in the milk, that's their job. You've seen them: delicate, beige blisters of air floating proudly in the milk. And you can't sink 'em: they REFUSE to sink. The Navy ought to use them in life preservers, that's where they're really needed. And do you know how Rice Krispies manage to float for such a long time? By clinging to one-another. They buddy-up. They gather in little groups of eight, ten, or sometimes twelve - but, if you've noticed, it's always an even number; that's because of the electro-magnetic polarity of the Krispies attracts them to one-another. It binds them into pairs like sub-atomic particles. They form little colonies and you can't sink them, not even with a spoon - they just come bobbing up over the sides of the spoon, laughing at you and revelling in their buoyancy. Hard to sink.
That's what the fruit is for. Not for added taste, not for nutrition - it's for sinking the Rice Krispies. Believe me, a good-sized peach hurled full-force from a step-ladder can take down eighty or ninety of the little buggers in one glorious splash. And I have absolutely no mercy: if I'm REALLY pissed off, I'll climb up to the upstairs balcony and drop a watermelon on them. That'll teach 'em to sass me at breakfast.

I don't like porno movies; they piss me off. First they show a great-looking naked woman who starts playing with herself and, while I'm watchin', she sorta becomes my girlfriend. And then suddenly, in walks a guy with a big dick and he starts fucking my girlfriend. Pisses me off.

Ahh, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing your song, and - best of all - occasionally peck someone's eyes out.

Haven't we gone far enough with this colored ribbons for different causes? Every cause has its own color: red for AIDS, blue for child abuse, pink for breast cancer. I got a brown one, know what it means? Eat shit, motherfucker.

When I die, I don't wanna be buried. But I don't wanna be cremated either. I wanna be blown up: put me on a pile of explosives and blow me up. Or throw my body from a helicopter; that would be fun. One stipulation: wherever I land, ya have to leave me there. Even if it's on the mayor's lawn. Just let me lie there. Would keep the dogs away.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

If I had my choice of how to die, I'd like to be sitting on the crosstown bus and just suddenly burst into flames.

You know what would be great? To be in a coma. Y'know; you're still alive but ya have no responsibilities:
-"He owes me six thousand dollars."
-"He's in a coma."
-"Ahh, okay. Never mind."

Most people understand that cats are completely different from dogs. And, generally, they like them for different reasons. One quality people like in cats is their independance. They appreciate a pet who can take care of himself. "I never have to do a thing: he cleans his room, makes his own clothing, and drives himself to work." Unlike dogs who are needy and dependant, and who like you merely because you know where the food is located. Cats don't get all hung up on fake affection; they don't go nuts and slobber all over you when you come home the way a dog does. They parcel out a certain limited amount of physical affection from time to time, but it probably has more to do with static electricity than anything else.
Cats have another quality I find admirable: blamelessness. When a cat makes a mistake he doesn't accept responsibility, or show embarrasment. If he does something really stupid, like jumping up onto a table and landing in four separate coffee cups, he passes the whole thing off as routine. Dogs aren't like that: if a dog knocks over a lamp, you can tell who did it by looking at the dog; he acts guilty and ashamed. Not the cat: when a cat breaks something he simply moves along to the next activity. "What's that? The lamp? Not me, fuck that: I'm a cat. Something broken? Ask the dog." A cat can make any mistake appears intentional. You ever seen a cat race across a room and crash into a glass door? Doesn't faze him at all. Whisshh, bam! "I meant that. I actually meant that. That's exactly what I was trying to do." Then he limps behind the couch, holding his head: "Uhh, Jesus. Fuckin' meow. Goddamn fuckin' meow." Your cat is much too proud to let you see him suffer, but if you look behind the couch you'll see him recuperating fro a domestic mishap: "I... tried to jump from the sofa to the window, didn't make it. Tore a ligament. Got milk?"
Cats are very tactile. They love to rub against your leg. If you own a cat and have a leg, you got a happy cat. "Oh boy, oh boy. I'm rubbing against his leg. How I love his leg." If you have two legs, you got yourself a party. "Oh boy, oh boy. Two legs. Now I can do the figure-eight." They love to do the figure-eight. Around one leg, in-between, and then around the other. "Oh boy, oh boy. I'm doing the figure-eight." He'll rub against your legs even if you're not there yet. You might be twenty feet down the hall. As soon as he sees you coming he starts walking sideways: he doesn't wanna miss a shot at your legs. "Oh boy, oh boy. Here he comes. SOON I'll be doing the figure-eight."
Cats are so tactile, you don't even have to do the petting. All you need to do is put your hand somewhere near him and he'll lean into you and do all the work. They love to push back.
Then there's the ass trick. D'you ever stroke a cat who's lying absolutely flat and, before you've run your hand half-way down his back, his ass is sticking way up in the air, as if you've pressed an ass button or something. "Isn't he a cute little- holy shit, how did he do that?!" Or sometimes, if he's on the bed with you, he'll climb onto your chest and stick his ass right in your face: "Hey, here's my ass! Check my ass, daddy! Get a nice, clean look at my ass!" And then, while he's showing you his ass, he starts that kneading thing with his paws, like he's playing the piano. God, I hate that.
-"Get him offa me! Jesus, I hate that! I don't even know what it IS and I hate that. It's as if he got a hold of some bad drugs or somethin'. What is that?"
-"It's an instinctive nursing behaviour, honey. He misses his mommy."
-"Ehh, you always say that. You said that about the mailman."

The story is that, if you're comdemned to death, they have to give you one last meal. What is that all about anyway? I mean a group of people plans to kill you so they want you to eat something you like? Is it a joke? Do they think the food part will take your mind off the dying part? Or do they just prefer to kill you when you're coming off a peak experience and you're full of positive energy? I'm not sure what kind of sick game is going on but - what the hell - you might as well play along, have a little fun. Order a Happy Meal. Tell 'em you wanna go to Hooters and eat on the patio. Inform them you've converted to a religion that embraces cannibalism and you'd like to eat a baby... with a small salad. I just think there's some great potential here for fun and mischief. In fact, I'm thinkin' that if you worked it just right you might even squeeze a little extra time out of 'em; time to file a coupla hundred more frivolous appeals. Because, as I understand it: they have to give ya any meal ya ask for. Not including elephant, of course. Ya can't expect 'em to startin' a brand new elephant just for one meal. But, short of that, they have to give ya pretty much what you want. It's part of the humanity involved: "Let's kill this fuck, but let's be civil." Have a little fun. But some time. When they ask you what you want, tell 'em ya can't decide - that's all there is to it: ya can't decide. "Gee, I dunno. I'm not sure whether I want steak or lobster. I mean, I really love them both. Haven't had a lobster in quite a while. But on the other hand I really love chicken. It's my good luck food. And they're both rich in protein. I just can't figure it out." What can they do? Can they kill you under those circumstances? Can they go ahead and kill you if you honestly don't know what you want for dinner? Tell them you're willing to take a lie detector test and truth serum but ya honestly can't decide. Can they kill ya? Huh? Can they drag ya down the last mile shouting, "Serf! Serf, I'm on the horns of a dilemma!" I think they'd have to give ya a little more time. Imagine if ya kept it up for six months. Think of the headlines: Condemned Man Still Alive, Can't Decide, Leans Toward Lobster." Three years go by, five, seven. And then finally one morning you wake up and it's clear as a bell:
-"Alright, I've decided. I dunno why I didn't think of this a long time ago. I'm gonna have the lamb chops."
-"Alright, lamb chops it is. And how did you want them cooked?"
-"Jeez, I hadn't thought of that. Lemme see, how do I want them cooked? Listen guys, can I get back to ya on that?"
"Hungry Man Executed, Dragged Down Last Mile Screaming, "Medium!""

RIP George Carlin (May 12th, 1937- June 22nd, 2008)