We are Shift and Voltage aka Trace and Razeo aka Darknessslayer0 and Viggorrah.

Hi.

Somehow you stumbled upon our site. Now leave before I release the hounds. Damn chocobo poachers!

Damnit, Trace, shut up! They're not chocobo poachers; we don't even have chocobos!

Not since you sold them all. You couldn't even keep one.

All the more reason to NOT scare away the nice people. You are nice, aren't you...? o_O

Maybe you shouldn't be too trusting of people!

Maybe you shouldn't be such a jerk! Wait, they're not here to listen to us argue.

Fair enough. Don't forget to review after you read our stories. Otherwise Vigg is going to get into one of her moods.

Gee, thanks, I don't sound like a psychopath at all. Also, as you're running away, be sure to check out Darknessslayer0's forum. If you're bored, stop on by. We promise not to bite.

"Now You See It... has 35."

"Violence isn't the best option, but it's still an option."

"We've been over this. It would be easier to tell you what's not wrong with me."

"You must login to logout!"

"Comprehension of what I'm doing is not a requirement for your cooperation."

"French is a fantastic language to cuss in; it's like wiping your ass with silk."

"Ah crap, I think I just shot the guy I was supposed to be tailing."

"Shinra may be a bunch of assholes, but damn they've got an awesome theme song."

"Rascal Flatts make your boobs float."

"You are the epitome of paying attention."

"Head-shots are worth 100 points, but mutiny is worth 200!"

"How was the healthcare reform bill of 2009 signed? Let's just say it involved Obama, Congress, and a zombie."

"Who the hell needs kids when you've got cats?"

"Okay, no, I'm not reading past 'gay leprechaun'."

"Either you epically fail or you don't; there's none of this in-between crap."

"It's like friends with benefits, except with better rewards."

"That's not stupid, that's Power Rangers!"

"Well yeah. Little force here, little force there and a threat to punt them like I do baby seal cut that crap out."

"For some reason, Snorlax just reminded me of the Titanic."

-Razeo

"They use real people, not models."

"We manage to defuse three bombs and defeat an army of ninjas with 29 seconds to spare. What the hell are we suppose to do with the rest of the time?"

"I say use the fully automatic bat,"

“Its just standard procedure. I grab the guns, you grab the knives.”

"It's the a throwing star. If someone ever breaks in, just remember you only have one shot; then you're screwed."

"There are no save points when it comes to ladies."

"My limit break takes four hours, and you can't skip any of the cutscenes."

"Do we fight, use an item, or run?"

"Maturity is know that you were an idiot in the past, wisdom is know that you will be an idiot in the future, and common sense is knowing that your an idiot now."

"Music plus Science equals Sexy."

"Guess I have to take you on as well, Mr. Bushido."

"In what universe is lighting weak against water? Damn you Square Enix!"

"Seriously, trying to merge the conscience and unconscious mind, just screams great idea."

"I didn't sign up for scrubs because I thought the class would pick a stupid color. Boy wasn't I proven wrong."

"Die on your own time, right now I need you for this quest."

"Why does everyone laugh when I tell them what I want to be?"

"What are you doing possessed at this hour?"

"You know, our inside jokes just sound weird coming from other people."

-Trace

"Marriage is worse than rape, betrayal, and having your heart broken? Who the hell came up with that?"

"I love how we're beating the living shit out of each other, then the bell rings and we stop and walk away like nothing happened."

"Thank God for rednecks!!"

"I should save, because winding staircases just scream danger."

Razeo: "Back in my day..." Trace: "Razeo, we're from the same day."

Trace: "Jinx!" Razeo: "DAMMIT!"

Trace: "I've never taken down a multi-billion dollar organization before-" Razeo: "Psh, not as a personal favor." Trace: "No I've done them as personal favors, but those were multi-million dollar organizations, with an 'm'. Distinct difference."

Trace: "You hate Diary Queen. Why would I call you that?" Razeo: "Because you love me and you love cows. So the way I see it, being called a cow is a good thing."

Razeo: "Well these tend not to have moshpits." Trace: "Start one." Razeo: "Yeah, with who? Anyone I shove here will either result in a child abuse lawsuit or a broken hip and a trip downtown."

Trace: "Its the Best Friend Game. You should know me." Razeo: "Should being the keyword." Trace: "Good, now I don't feel bad for not knowing a thing about you."

Dragorceo