About me:

Name: Sam

Gender: Female

Age: 999

Favorite Colors: Purple, Orange, Green, Blue

Birthday: Somewhere in May

Favorite Foods: Pasta, Pizza, Cookies, Ice Cream, French Fries, Mash Potatoes and so many more...

What I Usually Wear: Tee shirts, Hoodies, Converse, Jeans, Sweatpants and yeah..

Hobbies: Write Random Stories, Read Books and Live.

FAVORITE MAXIMUM RIDE QUOTES:

"Did you know that wasn't me, the other Max?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"When?"
"Right away."
"How?" I persisted. "We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?"
He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. "She offered to cook breakfast." – Fang and Max (School's Out Forever)

You...are...a...fridge...with wings,' Fang ground out, punching an Eraser hard with every word. We're...freaking...ballet...dancers." – School's Out Forever

Man, you weigh a freaking ton! What have you been eating, rocks?"

Why, is your head missing some?" – Max and Fang (The Angel Experiment)

"Max: "Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!"
Fang: "But we're grounded."
Max and Fang: (stare at each other for a second and burst out laughing)" – School's Out- Forever

"Yes!" said Fang, punching the air. "Freaks rule." (The Angel Experiment)

"They turned to Angel. "We will call you Little One," the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense with the whole confusing name thing.
"Okay," said Angel agreeably. "I'll call you Guy in a White Lab Coat." He frowned.
"That can be his Indian name," I (Max) suggested." (Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports)

"We'll be back!" he snarled.
It was really Ari's voice.
Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to," said Fang" (School's Out Forever)

"There was something I needed to say. "Sorry. About before."
Fang shot a sideways glance at me, his eyes dark and inscrutable, as always. He looked back out at the water. I didn't expect any more acknowledgment than that. Fang never-
"You almost gave me a heart attack," he said quietly. "When I saw you, and all that blood . . ." He threw a small rock as hard as he could down the beach.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't do it again," he said.
I swallowed hard. "I won't."
Something changed right then, but I didn't know what.

"Max! I can talk to the fish!"

That wasn't it. " (School's Out- Forever)

"Besides my great fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."- Fang (Saving the World and other Extreme Sports)

"Jackpot, Max! Jackpot!" It was Fang and he was giggling hysterically.
For those of you just joining us, Fang doesn't giggle, especially hysterically." (Fang: A Maximum Ride Novel)

NOW ONTO MORE STUFF!

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

If life gives you lemons...make ornage juice and leave people wondering how the heck you did it! (Oooh.. I'm magical..)

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em

If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.

If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.

If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.

If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed

FAVORITE SONGS:

Army of Two by Olly Murs

Concrete Angel by Martina Mcbridge

Paradise by Coldplay

Viva La Vida By Coldplay

42 by Coldplay

Payphone by Maroon 5

Day 'N' Nite by Kid Cudi

Cooler Than Me by Mik Posner

Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys

One More Night by Maroon 5

Don't Wake Me Up by Chris Brown

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

SORRY I HAD TO POST THIS BECAUSE THIS KINDA FREAKED ME OUT… DONT JUDGE...

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my butt when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V... remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Idiots!

5 When people say while watching a film "Did you see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "Life is short." What the heck? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?

QUESTIONS FOR FANGIRLS ABOUT MR!

1. Do you think Iggy is hot?

He's okay, I think he's funny but Fang on the other hand...

2. Did you cry when Ari died?

Um.. No… should I be crying..?

3. Do you think Fang is hot?

Yes… I wish he was real and all mine...

4. How do you pronounce Ari's name?

AIR-EE

5. MIGGY or FAX?

Fax. Miggy is wrong. Actually, so is Niggy. Eggy is ok. (in small doses)

6. Who do you think the voice should be?

Jeb. It fits. I swear

7. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be?

IDK. But if it was just Max and Fang i would do Army of Two by Olly Murs

QUOTES BETWEEN FRIENDS, FAMILY, RAMDOM PEOPLE AND I:

These skits happened in real life.

Friend: I gotta go home

Me: Whhhyyy

Friend: God, that sounded gay

Friend: (after we fell on each other) Did you break your butt?

Me: No, but there's a crack in it...

Me: Poooookkkkeee

Friend: Are you on crack or something?

Me: Yeah, i had 3 cookies, 1 soda and 5 candy bars.

Friend: God, you're fat...

Me: Thank You?

Friend: Meh, you're welcome.

Friend: Do you… remember… (pauses)

Me: How to save a life? No.

Friend: -FacePalm-

My friend and I are walking in school eating a bagel when we came across a guy we hate.

Guy: You can't eat in school!

Friend: (Raises up lunch bag as a threat)

Guy: Go ahead, hit me!

Friend: (Starts beating guy up with lunch bag) Want me to do it again?

Guy: (Runs away)

Friend: (Chases him)

Me: That's my girl.

My friend and I were walking home when these two lot her girls showed up. Whoopee.

Girls: (Singing) Don't you wish you mom was hot like mine?!

My friend and I: (Walks away and then laughs)

Friend: Yeah, if your mom is hot then my mom is automatically gorgeous.

Me: Ha, I don't think 'hot' is very appropriate to call your mom. I mean like gorgeous, beautiful and even stunning is better than hot. What is she? On fire?

So my sister and I were hanging out when our neighbor's dogs started barking.

Dogs: Ruff Ruff Ruff Woof Woof Ruff.

Sister: OMG MY EARS ARE GONNA EXPLODE!

Me: (Laughs)

Dogs: (Keeps barking)

Sister: Ruff Ruff Bark Bark WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!?

My sister was driving really fast and a cop car makes a turn.

Me: Umm a cop, how convenient.

Sister: Yeah, what if we hit the cop? (Laughs nervously)

Me: (Laughs) We would get a ticket for speeding and probably be sent to jail for hitting a cop car.

Sister: Oh.

Me: Yep.

My dad walked into my room and fell asleep on my bed.

Me: Uh, dad?

Dad: (Snores)

Mom: (Walks in) What's your dad doing?

Me: He walked into my room and fell asleep.

Mom: (Pokes dad) Wake up. (Pokes mouth)

Dad: (Wakes up while making a weird noise) What!?

Me: (Laughs) You fell asleep on my bed.

Mom: Well I gotta go work.

Dad: Why'd you wake me up? I was hiding. (Covers face with hands)

Me: Yeah, okay.

Dad: (Falls asleep again)

I was at the school courtyard thingy and I was admiring my yellow shoes. Don't ask.

Me: (Thinking) I like my yellow shoes, it's unique, you see people with black, brown, pink, blue, red and whatever color but you rarely see yellow. Ha, I nobody else has them. (Sees guy with yellow shoes) Except that guy.

My family was talking about anger management for my brother.

Dad: You need to control your anger.

Sister: Hey, have you seen the movie Anger Management?

Brother: (Silent for a few seconds) Yeah, I saw it.

Everyone: (Laughs)

LATER ON!

Dad: Some ways to deal with your anger issues is by counting backwards. 100...99...98...97...96...94.

Me: (In my head) He missed 95.

Brother: No, counting is just going to make me more angry. It's too long.

Me: Whatever floats your boat.

My sister was drinking tea.

Sister: This tastes very interesting.

Me: What does it taste like?

Sister: Like BOOGER!

Me: How do you know what booger taste like?

Sister: Because... I ate them when I was little.

Me: o.o

We were in science talking about science stuff.

Teacher: Okay I'll pretend to be god here. (She was doing a demonstration)

Me: Wait, if you're pretending you're god. Can we pretend there's no homework today?

Teacher: Sorry Sam, no.

Me: (Mutters under breathe) Damn.

We were in math class. We were doing something with prices and stuff and a girl went up to present her thing, it was the movies... Awesome movies. The rest continues from there.

Guy: Can you tell me where like location of the movie theater is?

Girl: Um, I do-

Math Teacher: Why? Are you asking her to the movies?

Everyone: (Laughs)

Guy: No, I just want the location.

Math Teacher: So you can ask her out on a date?

Guy: (Facepalm)

We were doing a game about bullying so it was with my two guy friends and my best friend, who's a girl, here we go.

Friend (girl): (Throws game piece at Guy Friend #1) It fell on the ground.

Guy Friend #2: Where? I don't see it,

Me: (Holding it in my hands without noticing what was going on)

Guy Friend #1: Sam has it! Wait, Sam has it? How?

Me: What?

Friend (girl): I threw the gamepiece at (insnet name of guy #1) and it fell on the floor and now it's in your hands.

Guy Friend #2: SHE'S MAGICAL!

Guy Friend #1: GET AWAY FROM ME!

Don't ask for forgiveness with the words you used for harassment.

Don't give me a hug with the hands you used for punching.

Don't call me or text me with the phone you used for hurting someone online.

This wouldn't of happened if you listened to me. Now face the punishment.

-Repost this if you're against bullying

She walked to school with short sleeves one day.

Then the next day she wore long sleeves.

She wore them everyday from the day she started.

She got scared so often and so shy.

That's when I realized she was being abused.

I tried to confront her but she pushed it away.

I moved away a year later.

I don't even know if she is alive or dead.

If she only let me confront her, she wouldn't be in the mess she is in.

-Repost this if you're against abusing

December 14, 2012

It was a tragic day for Connecticut.

20 students from ages 5-10 were killed.

6 adults were killed saving students.

Why is life like this? Why?

He got a gun, barged in somehow and then shot innocent people.

Let us pray for those who lost there lives because of the shooter.

-Repost if you wanna spread the love

Have you ever eaten a crayon? No, I don't intend on it.

What was the last thing you had to drink? Juice.

What do you do in your free time? Write, read, eat, sleep.

Do you like chocolate? Heck yeah, who doesn't?

Do you like spicy food and why? Yes because it's so... Spicy.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Anywhere but America...which is where I live.

How old are you? 14!!

What is your first name? Samantha.

Where do you live? The USA.

What is your favorite color? The rainbow.

What is your favorite band/song? I DONT CARE IT JUST HAS TO BE GOOD!

What is your favorite food? Um...anything. I eat whatever I like.

Do you have any scars? Yes, from falling.

Do you like the rain or the sun? Rain and Sun.

What pets do you have? A cat, Lucky.

Are you fat? ...No.

Do you have braces? I'm getting them.

What are your life goals? To touch my tongue to my nose.

Do you bite your nails? Nope.

Do you cuss often? Only to myself.

Do you pop your bones? Yes!

Are you a bad kid or a goody goody kid? I would like to think I'm in between.

Are you religious? Depends

What is on your bedside table? My books, IPad, notebook, water bottles, picture frame, keys, pencil, and a snow globe.

What is your favorite T.V. show? I don't watch as much like I used to.

Do you play X-box, Playstation, or Nintendo? I'm an X-box girl.

Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies? How am supposed to know? Go ask a Chinese person yourself.

One Nation, 'Under Allah.'

One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a
classroom. The teacher was going to explain
evolution to the children.

The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes..
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, go outside and check if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God up there?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there. Possibly he just doesn't exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school, she possibly may not even have one!
(You Go Girl!)
FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS(or about to/want to), so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, So I must be gay
I draw ANIME so I MUST be to a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. (I hate hockey, but I love beavers although I've never actually seen one.)
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run bitch run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile.

Have you ever tried having a thumb war with yourself?? I have. (I found that I'm a very tough opponent.) If you have just tried having a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you find Spongebob funny SOMETIMES, but most of the time he is SO annoying you want to throw the TV out the window, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you absolutely are TERRIFIED of spiders, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pulled on a door that said push, or vise versa, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile.

If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

People say that I'm weird, but I think that weird is strange, and strange is odd, and odd is different, and different is unique, and everyone is unique, so unique is normal, so therefore I am normal. If the same is true for you, copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile XD

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are reading this line, copy and paste it in ur profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are not sure if you find these 'copy and paste things' annoying or if you love them, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy an dpaste this to your profile.

If You Live In America, you post this

Why America has some Issues (Yes I live there, but tough. These are clever)

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Max: Do I ever cross your mind?

Fang: No

Max: Do you like me?

Fang: No

Max: Do you want me?

Fang: No

Max: Would you cry if I left?

Fang: No

Max: Would you live for me?

Fang: No

Max: Would you do anything for me?

Fang: No

Max: Choose--me or your life

Fang: My life

Max flies away in shock and pain and Fang flies after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

WELL ENJOY IF I WRITE ANYTHING..