Um...Profile...Uh...

Well, I guess I could start off with my age!

...Stalker. Why do YOU want to know MY age?! For all YOU know, I could be EIGHTY-FOUR!! I could even be a million gazillion years old. Or...I could be one of those cops whose job it is to disguise themselves as innocent children and lure pedophiles to jail!

And my NAME! Why don't I just give you my address?!

...And besides, I hate my name and am embarrassed by it.

Thus concludes my report on Internet safety.