THIS ACCOUNT IS NOW CLOSED. THESE ARE NOT GOING TO BE UPDATED, AND THE AUTHOR APOLOGISES FOR BOTH THAT AND THE QUALITY.

Freak and Proud.

That's me you know!

Age: Teenager dude!

Gender: Female. At least I was when I last checked...

Location: Driving the bus to hell.

Men I Think Are A Bit Nice: Kurt Cobain, Johnny Depp, David Wenham, Antonio Bandaras, Grant Nicholas, Serge Pizzomo.

Aims: To have all the DVD's, books, and CD's on my wishlist. And (until recently) to go boozing with Hunter S Thompson (RIP Dr Gonzo)

FaVoURiTe ACTORS: Johnny Depp (If you don't know who this is, leave or I'll set the fangirls on you), David Wenham (Carl, Van Helsing), Antonio Bandaras (El Mariachi, Once Upon A Time In Mexico), Tom Baker (Well duh. But, for those who live in holes with fingers in their ears going LA LA LA, The Doctor, Dr Who), Christopher Eccleston (Yeah, OK I'll let you off with this one, The Doctor, Dr Who), Alan Rickman, (Marvin the Paranoid Android, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), Jason Mewes, (Jay, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back), Kevin Smith (Silent Bob, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) Tom Cruise (Ahem. I want you to beat yourself with a stick if you don't know this man), Kenneth Williams (Julius Caesar Carry On Cleo), Clint Eastwood (Well, duh. If you are still living in a hole with your fingers in your ears, Blondie, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly), Simon Jones (The original Arthur Dent, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy TV Series).

ACTRESSES: Judy Dench, (M, Die Another Day) Maggie Smith, (Prof. MacGonagall, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) Zoe Wanamaker, (Madame Hooch, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) Keira Knightly, (Please...) Selma Hayak, (Serendipidy, Dogma) Sarah Michelle Gellar (Duh...), Queen Latifer (Momma, Chicago!), Audrey Tatou (Amelie Fabuleux Destin d'Amelie)

DIRECTORS: Gore Verbinski (The Ring US), Tim Burton (Nightmare Before Christmas), Roman Polanski (The Ninth Gate), Jean Cocteau (La Belle et la Bete), Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Fabuleux Destin d'Amelie), Hayao Miyazaki (Spirited Away)

BANDS: Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Eels, The Futureheads, Kaiser Chiefs, Queen, Ink Spots, Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band, Gay For Johnny Depp, The Killers, Keane, Nirvana, My Chemical Romance, Nine Inch Nails, Foo Fighters, System of a Down, Queens of the Stone Age.

SOLO ARTISTS: Marilyn Manson, Julian Cope, Norah Jones, Marianne Faithfull.

FOOD: Mmmm... Food...

ANIME: InuYasha, Spirited Away, My Friend Toroto, Princess Monoke.

AUTHORS: Terry Pratchett, Anthony Horowitz, Hunter S Thompson, Jeff Noon, Eion Colfer, Douglas Adams. I think films have been covered. All you have to do is read the films next to people's names.

FiCs:

On The Deathbed. Chapter One up. I'm working on Chapter Two as we speak. (Pirates of the Caribbean: CotBP)

Jack, Jill And The Curse Of The Elements. Chapter Eleven now up. I'm currently bashing my head against the wall for more. (PotC: CothBP)

Lola's Case Chapter Two up. Work on Chapter Three is sporadic, but happening. I'm working out the plot as I go, see. (Once Upon A Time In Mexico)

Secrets !Completed! My first go at a JackAna! (PotC: CotBP)

Secrets 2 !Completed! As it goes it's a sequel to Secrets and my first WillLiz! (PotC: CotBP)

Laurel Chapter Two up. Work on Chapter Three is sporadic as my knowledge is sparse to say the least. (Tamora Pierce: Protector of the Small, Wild Magic and Song of the Lioness)

Jack Sparrow Meet Van Helsing Chapter One up. I'm unsure where this is going and the Second Chapter, as it is at the moment isn't very good. Also they've banned this format, but they haven't found this one yet, so yeah, watch this space. (Van Helsing/ PotC crossover)

My Last Breath !Completed! Oneshot. A tragic JackAna songfic and first in the Evanescance trilogy. (PotC: CotBP)

Hello !Completed! Oneshot. Second in the Evanescance trilogy. (PotC: CotBP)

Imaginary !Completed! Oneshot. Last in the Evanescance trilogy. (PotC: CotBP)

A Doctor's Box Taken down for re-modellingKirsty lives with mum Rose and Jack. Then after a particularly tough day a black box falls out of the sky into her tea. She calls the number in the box and is set up on the most interesting adventure of her life. This is actually completed, but I'm re-writing some of this on account of drabbles and one-shots I've written. (Dr Who: Tenth Doctor)

In ThE pIpElInE:

These are like, fics I'm working on and have story lines. If it has a storyline, it's in here. If it's an idea I have floating around, but no real plot to, it'll be in italics. Hopefully. Some of the ones in italics have slightly shaky plots too, so they might not be around for a bit. Some might even have titles...

The Doctor And The Hunt Dr Who- Tenth Doctor(Definately working title) Would you believe this is all finished too? I'm currently in this orgy of typing things up till I'm sick of it. A stop for repairs becomes a race for their lives. Can they shake off the hunt and get off the planet in time?

The Time Rip Dr Who- Tenth Doctor(Working title) I'm just starting this one. I spent some time arguing with myself and decided that the idea for What If? sucked and was full of holes the size of big things. So. I have a new idea. Set in the 1880's, there's a time rip. But who's keeping it stable? Can Kirsty get used to running in a skirt in time to help? I hope this works.

The Green Planet of Death Dr Who- Tenth Doctor (Definately working title. It reads like a bad comic book) This one has several like, little ideas and they need to be knitted up. Kirsty wants to see humanoid aliens. But do the humanoid aliens want to see them? And why are all the trees needed? And exactly what are they making? There's a dark secret lurking in this planet. Kirsty has to find out. And she's only got twenty four hours... This one's definately my favourite. I can't wait to get writing. One things for sure, It's interesting...

The Quiet Machine Dr Who- Tenth Doctor (Working title) Kirsty has decided there are only so many life or death situations you can deal with at once, so she goes home for a little R'n'R. On the way home from the pub that night she sees something not good. I'm not saying any more, as I don't want to give away too much about the last fic, as quite obviously, this will still be in the pipeline whilst other's are reading the last. So. One word. Daleks.

Artemis the Hunter. Van Helsing(Working title) Real pipeline here. I don't have much more than it's Artemis, foundling girl who wants to be the famous Van Helsing's apprentice. I've got vague notions of Van Helsing retiring to Transylvania and being needed as there's something so big even Artemis can't take it. I'm thinking on it, I'm thinking on it. Give it time...

Oh yeah, and I've got a few Dr Who drabbles and short(ish) one-shots coming up. Watch this space.

Bless ya, and so long and thanks for all the fish...