NOTICE: Until further notice, ALL MY FICS ARE ON PERMANENT HIATUS. I'm sorry, I know I said I'd update them, but I've had no inspiration for a while and then my dad died... Also, I've pretty much lost interest in Naruto lately.

Teacher: Ugly people, please raise your hands.

Friend: :is annoying the teacher:
Teacher: If my mom gets tired of your bangs... :mimes shaving head:
Friend: Is that how you got bald?

Teacher: If you have computer problems, go ahead and let me know and we can stand there and stare at the screen together.

Me (while turning an assignment in): I can't find the answer sheet, so I've deduced that I've turned it in, or it's been stolen by a flock of albino ravens. Judging by the circumstances, it's probably not the latter.

Kakuzu: That wound on your neck is ugly. Cover it up.
Hidan: Hey, my hitai-ate (forehead protector)! Wow, you actually picked it up for me? Kakuzu, you can be a nice guy when you try!
Kakuzu: Shut up, Hidan! Come on!
Hidan: Hey! Wait a sec! Yo, Kakuzu! You may act like a prick, but you really like me, don't you?
Kakuzu: Keep talking and I will kill you.
Hidan: Aw, don't get shy on me...

Jack Sparrow: I have a jar of dirt!

Jack Sparrow: But why is all the RUM gone?!

Kakuzu: You said we were finished, but you still had no idea what I was capable of. So you kept your distance and came up with a new strategy. You actually think, unlike my partner. But even if you analyze every aspect of a battle, things don't always go according to plan.
Hidan: Hehe...huh? Kakuzu! What the fuck was that "unlike my partner" bullshit?!
Kakuzu: Exactly what it sounded like, moron.

Me: Shut up, I'm trying to reach an octave not known to man. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Dad: That's an octave that man is trying to forget.

Me: In other words, it's a very nondescript way of saying "What the heck is wrong with you?".

Me: FLIPPY! Flippy flippy. Flippy flippy flippyyyyy. Awww...FLIP...py...FLLLIPPYYYYYY!! :looks around to see people staring: What? I was talking to my fish!

Me: Why do they have a "Te" form for shinimasu(death)? I mean, wouldn't "Shitte kudasai" mean "Please die"? If you're going to say something like that anyway, then what's the point of being polite?

Leutenant Hawkeye: During your last physical inspection you were diagnosed with athlete's foot, and we now believe that it is affecting your brain.

COPY AND PASTE...things...:

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this to your profile.

If you think Hidan-san is hot copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list;Mood-chan-SIRIUS IS UBER HOT, XFamousXLastXWordsX, Skitty and Kirara

If you think Itachi-sama is hot copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list;Mood-chan-SIRIUS IS UBER HOT, XFamousXLastXWordsX, Skitty and Kirara

If you think Deidara-senpai is hot copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list;Mood-chan-SIRIUS IS UBER HOT, XFamousXLastXWordsX, Skitty and Kirara

If you say no to SasoSaku, copy and paste this into your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight throuth the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital bacause they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bed room for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

If your one of those people who can literally stay on the computer for hours on in if only you weren't forced to get off, then copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

!eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

Number your 12 fave Naruto characters (In no order) and answer the questions!!(I'm Akatsuki-obsessed, but I don't want to JUST choose them...hmm...)
(...and I have more than twelve favorite characters...)

1. Itachi

2. Shino

3. Pein

4. Kabuto

5. Tobi/Madara

6. Kiba

7. Minato

8. Hidan

9. Sai

10. Deidara

11. Zetsu

12. Sasori

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
Lolz, KibaxZetsu? What, are you kidding?

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Very.

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Hidan would swear at Sasori constantly until Sasori finally disconnects his ears. (Can he do that?)

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?
Not too many... But, I'm more into the Akatsuki fandom.

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Yes, Shino and Kiba compliment each other too well. They'd be a funny couple. (thinks of humor possibilities)

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
Umm, Tobi and Deidara (Does he even know Sai?). But, I prefer pairing Madara with Pein, and Sasori with Deidara. If Tobi was with Deidara...HUMAN.FIREWORKS. How romantic...

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? 3
If Minato walked in on Shino and Sasori having sex? O.o Probably wonder 'Who the heck are these people, why am I alive, and OH GREAT I DID NOT WANT TO SEE THAT!! AUGH!' (Hey, even the Yondaime has to have a breaking point.)

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic.
Deidara's on... some sort of illegal drug... so he takes a dare from Kisame to try and convince Pein that he's a girl. (No idea where that one came from...XD)

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?
Probably, somewhere out there... But in the series? Umm, no.

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.
Oh great, I suck at titles...I'll get back to this one later... (probably not)

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?
A screwed-up plot, that's what. O.o

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
Friends list equals...?

13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
I can draw him chibified...

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five ?
ShinoxKabutoxTobi/Madara? Even if I knew what a friends list was, I doubt anyone would be that strange. (save for maybe me on severe sugar high...maybe...)

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion?
ART IS A BANG, UN!!

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
I don't know enough songs for this one...heh...

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
Umm, let's see... Yaoi, and people getting high on Lee's "Curry of Life" at a party in Konoha (don't ask me why they're there), and, uh, Kyuubi breakdancing. Oh, and Neji thinks he's Sailor Moon. Yeahhh...
(looks at it months later) OH MY KITTEH I HAVE GOT TO WRITE THAT!!XDDDD

18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
I don't think Shino would go for pick-up lines. But, look at Deidara's favorite quote. If you don't get it, then I'm not telling you.

19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?
SMEX...OH, SHUT UP!!

20) How emo is Seven?
MINATO? WTF?! Well, I guess if he was brought back to life, he'd have a right to act more than a little emo...but, still...

(months later...I haven't updated this thing in forever, heh.) I have GOT to find another one of these!! (goes off to search)