My name is Rick and I love writing and reading fan fiction. I am a huge Harry Potter fan and support the Harry/Ginny ship. I hate Dumbledore, Ron, and Hermione so they will be bashed a lot in my stories. I love all kinds of music but listen mostly to metal and post-hardcore as will be evidenced in my stories. I hope this won't turn anyone away from my stories but a couple of my reviewers have said that they don't like the Harry/Ginny ship but like my story and I have to say that as a major supporter of that ship Harry will always be with Ginny and if you don't like it then maybe you should read something else.

What you DONT want to hear while having surgery

1. Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.

2. “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”

3. Hand me that…uh…that uh…thingie.

4. Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

5. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

6. There go the lights again…

7. “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys…and this guy’s got two of ‘em.”

8. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

9. Could you stop that thing from beating, it’s throwing my concentration off.

10. Sterile, schmerile. The floor’s clean, right?

11. What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change?

12. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

13. Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

14. What do you mean “You want a divorce!”

15. Fire! Fire! Everyone get out.

16. Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing.

17. Oh, look everyone. It’s lunch time.

18. The foot bone’s connected to the, leg bone…

19. That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!

20. Hey, if you pull on this it makes a funny noise.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? I'mma kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?