Greetings, my fellow human, fairy, troll, demon, etc.

Let’s keep this profile short and sweet, shall we? I personally find that all of the copy-and-pasting that the majority of authors on this website seem to do on his or her profile is very unnecessary. I believe that an author’s profile should primarily consist of a brief introduction and overview of that author’s field(s) of interest.

Now, my dear friend, let me introduce myself. As you can very clearly see from above, my name is Fowl, Artemis Fowl II, ex-criminal mastermind and boy genius.

The real Artemis Fowl II, that is, seeing how there are many others on this site who seem to be posing as me.

So, anyway, let’s address the matter at hand; it appears that you have stumbled across my account on this website. It can also be inferred that you have noticed my lack of stories. As always, I have an explanation for this: I fear that if I publish my writings on the internet, it can very easily be misused by the wrong person. I speak from experience, as this has happened before.

Now, you may be wondering why I have an account if I do not intend to write anything. Of course, I have an explanation for this as well:

I believe that this website is nothing more than a juicy gossip rag, and I am merely curious to read what you all have written about me and/or my friends. To put it simply, I am only here for pure observation. I admit, it amuses me greatly to read so many different variations of my life story.

If you feel the need to express any questions, comments, or concerns you may have, then I would suggest sending me a private message.

With that, I send you my best regards.

-Artemis Fowl II