Did-I-Ask-For-Your-Opinion
 Name: Triss Age: 13 Home: Florida Hey, everybody I'm Triss. Call me Beatrice and I will have you slow-cooked over a fire with acid causing your skin to peel of and use a cow-brand to brand DUMB@$$ on your butt one letter at a time. Won't that be fun?!!!!!! Now I'm going to fulfill your life's dream!! That's right you're the winner of this fabulous surprise to learn. Every. Single. Thing. about the fantabulous TRISS A.!! I'm descriptive and imaginative which is useful for stories. I'm not sure if being violent helps with anything though but it's me and it's funny seeing people's terrified faces. What you don't know is I'm sarcastic, sassy and can be a b*tch protecting those I love. If I like you I will be nice except for minor teasing, fun and cool to be around, will cheer you up and help you and can be scarily protective. My friends sometimes call me the Momma Bear of our group. I have a older brother Nicholas and a little brother Nicolai (How hard is it to believe that my dad had to beg Mom not to name me Nicole?) I'm a bookworm, love horseback riding, soccer, and basketball, get decent grades, take art classes, play the guitar and am in Drama Club for singing and acting. Status: I'm so f*cking bored I might start banging my head against the wall just for something to do. My brother deleted my account so I have to repost everything. Since I'm evil I won't post my finished stories all at once. I will do a chapter a day. For those in progress every week. What I have in my profile now is not finished. I have to find my flashdrive and get all my quotes, copy and paste ect. I'll take this off when I'm done. Awesome Girl Comebacks Man: "Can I buy you a drink?" Man: "I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours." Man: "Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?" Man: "How did you get to be so beautiful?" Man: "Will you go out with me this Saturday?" Man: "Your face must turn a few heads." Man: "Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out. Man: "I think I could make you very happy." Man: "What would you say if I asked you to marry me?" Man: "Can I have your number?" Man: "Let's go see a movie." Man: "Where have you been all my life?" Man: "Haven’t I seen you someplace before?" Man: "Is this seat empty?" Man: "Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven?" Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?" Man: "Your place or mine?" Man: "I’d like to call you. What’s your number?" Man: "Hey, baby, what’s your sign?" Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Man: "I know how to please a woman." Man: "I want to give myself to you." Man: "If I could see you naked, I’d die happy." Man: "Your body is like a temple." Man: "I’d go through anything for you." Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you." Man: "It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out." Man: "Can I get your number?" Month One Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this... If they don't want the baby there's adoption. Doesn't it make those "mothers" feel bad that they're killing their child? 1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4. my thoughts went back to my senior prom 2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch? My curtain. 3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? CNN for two seconds. I was passing my parent's room and my dad was watching. 4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 11:30 P.M. 5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 11:42 P.M. 6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? My neighbor's car 7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? Around 7? I was bored. 8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? My math homework. 9. What are you wearing? jeans and a t-shirt 10. Did you dream last night? I always do 11. When did you last laugh? Like 10. I was reading Avian Bird Flu by St. Fang of Boredom 12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? Silver, black, blue and purple paint, a mural that says 10% Angel 90% Devil 100% Me A message board and a cork board covered in pics. 13. Seen anything weird lately? This survey 14. What do you think of this survey? Look at 13. 15. What is the last movie you saw? Night at the Museum 2 16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? my friends and I a tour around the world, a house so I don't have to deal with my parents and I would get my brother a dog. 17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: You don't know that I don't know who you are. 18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? I would make child abuse impossible. 19. George Bush: I never pay attention to politics 20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? First Name: Zara-Grace Middle Name:Hope 21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? First Name: Ari/Eli Middle Name: Abderus 22. Would you ever consider living abroad? Greece, France, Egypt 1) Have you ever been asked out? 2) Where did you get your default picture? 3) What's your middle name? 4) Your current relationship status? 5) Does your crush like you back? 6) What is your current mood? 7) What color of underwear are you wearing? 8) What color shirt are you wearing? 9) Missing something? 10) If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change? 11) If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be? 12) Ever had a near death experience? 13) Something you do a lot? 14) The song stuck in your head? 15) Who did you copy and paste this from? 16) Name someone with the same birthday as YOU? 17) When was the last time you cried? 18) Have you ever sung in front of a large audience? 19) If you could have one super power what would it be? 20) What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? 21) What do you usually order from Starbucks? 22) What's your biggest secret? 23) Favorite color? 24) Do you still watch kiddie shows? 25) What are you? 26) Do you speak any other language? 27) What's your favorite smell? 28) Describe your life in one word what would it be? 29) Have you ever kissed in the rain? 30) What are you thinking about right now? 31) What should you be doing? 32) Who was the last person that made you upset/angry? 33) Do you like working in the yard? 34) If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want? 35) Do you act differently around the person you like ? 36) What is your natural hair color? 37) Who was the last person to make you cry? GUY X You love hoodies. X You love jeans. X Dogs are better than cats. (No freaking duh) X It's hilarious when people get hurt. ( I cracked up when my cousin's bike literally flipped over and he landed in a ditch) X You've played with/against boys on a team. X Shopping is torture. X Sad movies suck. X You own/ed some sort of gaming device. X Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. X At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. X You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. X You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. X You watch sports on TV. X Gory movies are cool. X You go to your dad for advice. X You own like a trillion baseball caps. X You like going to high school football games. X You used to/do collect football/baseball cards. X Baggy pants are cool to wear. X It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. X Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. (They're awesome.) X You love to go crazy and not care what people think. X Sports are fun X Talk with food in your mouth. X Sleep with your socks on at night Total= 8 GIRL X You wear lip gloss. (OMG It makes my lips like all shiny and pretty and colorful. Squeeeee!!!! That was a sad valley girl imitation.) X You love to shop. X You wear eyeliner. (Got a problem with that?) X You wear the color pink. X Go to your mom for advice. X You consider cheerleading a sport. (I don't do it but they have to exercise.) X You hate wearing the color black X You like hanging out at the mall. X You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. X You like wearing jewelry. X Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe X Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. X You don't like the movie Star Wars. (Not bad just not my type) X You were/are in gymnastics/dance. X It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. (Guilty as charged) X You smile a lot more than you should. (I hate overly cheerful people. They need to go to mental hospitals) X You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. X You care about what you look like. X You like wearing dresses when you can. X You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. X You love the movies. X Used to play with dolls as little kid. (Barbie makes a great target for Nerf guns) X Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it. X Like being the star of every thing Total= 14 PREP X You own a cell phone. (Who doesn't?) X You own something from Abercrombie. X You own something from Pac sun. You own something from Hollister. X You own something from American eagle. X You love/like going to the mall. X You own an iPod/MP3 player. X You love Starbucks. X You have been called a brat. X You hate buying things that are on sale. X You have more than one house. Total: 4 GOTHIC X Black is one of your favorite colors. X You have thought about death. X You wear chains. X You like heavy metal. X You’ve shopped at Hot Topic. X You have worn black lipstick. X Your hair was/is dark. (I don't think it counts cause it's natural. But I like it.) X You dislike preps. X You’re an Atheist/Satanist/Agnostic. (Agnostic atheism to be exact) Total: 2 PUNK X You can skateboard X you’ve worn plaid. X You like Converse. (I shall shun all that don't) X You hate MTV. X You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair or streaks. (Electric blue) X you dislike pink. X You hate/dislike preps. X you wear/wore skateboarding shoes. Total: 3 GEEK X You love the computer. X You like Harry Potter. X You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts (Contacts) X you get straight A's. X You love/like reading. X You were/are in band. X You don't care what you look like. X You have a curfew. X You always do your homework. X You never miss school unless you're sick. Total: 4 ATHLETIC X You watch/watched the Super bowl. X You own track shoes or other sports related shoes. X You collect your jerseys. X You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards. X You have posters or plaques of famous athletes. X Your garage consists of sports equipment. X You belong/belonged to a school team. (Tennis) X You are going/did go to a sports summer camp. X You have a specific number. Total: 3 HARDCORE//SCENE X You like loud music. X You love/loved the Ninja Turtles. X You never walk anywhere. X You wear slip-on shoes. X You wear/wore Vans. X You like the band Panic! At the disco. X You wear band t-shirts. X People have called you a freak and meant it. X You love to "hardcore" dance. X Hair has been died more than 1 color (Used to have silver and green) Total: 1 9 Things I Hate About Everyone: 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Idiots! 5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, asshole? "REMEMBER WHEN" REMEMBER WHEN... I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my readymade fist and say, “Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, idiot.” ( )_( ) Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat. Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead, who keeps your picture in his wallet, who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants, who holds your hand in front of all his friends, who thinks your beautiful without makeup, one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you, THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER! You say vampires, I say DEMIGODS! Username: Did-I-Ask-For-Your-Opinion Type Your Name with Your Elbow: Your Chin: Your Nose: Your Forehead: Your Toes: Your Fingers with Eyes Closed: 333 Ways to be Kicked Out of Wal-Mart 1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them’s cart 2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!" etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment 3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a hammer 4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!! You're ALIVE!! It's a MIRACLE!!!! Wait……. You’re not my Grandpa!!!” Slap them and run away sobbing. 5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "Hey, that's mine!” call the security and say that the other person was trying to take your item. 6. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 7. Hide in the center of the clothes circle where people find shirts, and jump out and yell "AIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!" 8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell "THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!" 9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, "COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!" 10. Hide between clothing and then jump out and yell "PICK ME!!!!" 11. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with action figures. 13. Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them. 14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice. 15. Randomly place 24 bags of candy in people’s carts. 16. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 17. Go up to an employee and in a official tone say "Code 3 in House-Wares" and see what happens 18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. Then find someone else and do the same thing. 19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 20. Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then act like a conductor. 21. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 22. Open a pack of cards and challenge random people to a "d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!" 23. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation 24. Tape a walkie-talkie to the back of a Barbie doll and say to random people, "I know where you live..." 25. Attempt to drown in a kiddy pool... 26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it 27. Open up random packages in the toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you're doing, just say "I changed my mind." 28. Run around Wal-Mart in a bathing suit singing the Surfin' USA theme song. 29. Say things like, "Would you be as kind so to direct me to your Twinkies?" 30. If an employee comes within 30 ft scream "GET AWAY FROM ME!!" Then run out of the store screaming. 31. Walk up to an employee and ask questions like how come this store is called Wal-Mart? Or what's up with your hair? Why do you people wear name tags can't you all remember your own names? 32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. 33. Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft of you. Then hiss like a snake and act like you're going to bite them. 34. Throw a fake rubber snake into some lady's face and watch her freak out. 35. Squeeze their legs and either sing, "I like to move it, move it! Or say "You’ve got chicken legs!" 36. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 37. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room. 38. Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply "He's going to help me pick out his favorite dog food." 39. TP as much of the store as possible. 40. Whenever you hear a voice over the intercom curl up in the fetal position, cover your ears amd scream “NOOO!!!!!!! IT’S THE VOICES AGAIN!!!!!!!!” Then stand up and walk away calmly like nothing happened. 41. Dress up in a trench coat & wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say "The rooster is in the nest" Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper "Use this wisely." 42. Go to the music aisle and start singing horrible karaoke. 43. Walk along look at someone giggle at them & say to no one, “I know, I know” Keep doing it until they give you a weird look & walk off. 44. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 45. Go in to the camping department and enter a tent then tell random customers that they can come in if they bring a pillow from the bedding department. 46. Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom. 47. Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Then start chanting, "We love bagels! We love bagels!" 48. Over the intercom say “Big sale on all items Electronics and the first 10 people to Check-out gets one item free” and see what happens. 49. Randomly start putting different size undergarments in people’s carts. 50. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 51. Run through the store and jump on random peoples carts singing “I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!!” 52. Go up to random people and poke them. If they ask you what you're doing or tell you to stop, tell them that you're trying to find out what they ate for dinner last night. 53. Do your American Idol audition in front of the security cameras. 54. Get a marker & go over all the barcodes with a line then go purchase your items... the person who is serving you will have to enter all the barcodes in by hand. 55. Go up to some of the customers while you’re carrying a paper bag and say "trick or treat!" and if they don't give you anything, do the sad puppy dog face. 56. Hide under a big pile of clothes and throw random objects at people when they walk by. 57. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie." 58. Walk up to a pizza place and ask for a McChicken. 59. Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden) Make grunting noises and drop the cantaloupe in the toilet. Then say "Phew, That's better" 60. Put blue paint on your hand and when you see someone put your hand on their shirt and point at them and say, "A clue a clue!" 61. Go to a clerk and tell them you lost your son and ask if they can call his name over the speaker! When they ask you his name make up a ridiculous name. 62. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 63. While humming the theme to Mission Impossible While wearing all black, knock over all of the cans. 64. Take all the CD's put them in the wrong place and when an employee puts them all back yell at her and mess them up again. 65. Go to the front of the store in a baby diaper and ask a macho guy to change you. 66. Take a friend with you and a younger child and start arguing over who gets custody then have the child run away and out of the store and yell, “CILLY COME BACK!”! 67. Climb up a ladder & try doing a King Kong thing. 68. Run through the make-up department and yell, "There's a dead body in aisle 3!!" 69. Grab a can of whipped cream and spray it on a bald guy’s head. 70. Dress up in a fairy costume, and climb up a ladder and when people go by say "Your wish is granted." 71. Dress up as a giant smiley face and whip price signs! Then yell "ROLLBACK!!" 72. Walk up to someone act like you can read their mind & say, “Sir/Ma’am, don’t think that.” 73. Walk towards a group of people and hit your head and say in a loud voice, "Shut up in there." 74. Put make up all over your face so it looks like a 2 year old did it and then say, "She's horrible at giving make-overs!" and point to a random woman. 75. Go up to random people and ask them if they will be your friends then link arms and start to sing the friends theme song. 76. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 77. Smear ketchup on yourself, lie on your back in the kid’s aisle, and pretend to be dead. 78. Lay a 20 dollar bill on the ground and back away and when someone tries to pick it up run up to them and yell hands off my dollar!! Then got to a manager and tell him that they stole 20 dollars from you 79. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles 80. Try all of the sodas and put them back then say, "Yup, that stuff's not poisonous." 81. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down 82. Run up to random people and ask if they like green eggs and ham 83. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags, then attempt to fit others into very large gym bags 84. Bang on the pots and pans in the cooking aisle 85. Act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions 86. Swing on the half price banners 87. Go up to a random person and tap on his/her shoulder. When the person looks at you, ask what and walk off like you're annoyed 88. Burp and say mmmm, tasty 89. Hold Barbie for ransom 90. Run around with a country music cd and sing Queen's "We Will Rock You" 91. throw random items over into the next aisle and see if you can score into someone's cart 92. Ride around in a Barbie jeep with Barbie in the front seat and act like you're talking to her by saying "Let's bust this joint!" 93. Wrap a hose around you and shout, "AAH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!" 94. Do your own radio show over the intercom 95. Go to the aisle with the Star Wars stuff and hold up a Luke Skywalker toy and say "Luke, I am your father" and make breathing noises in your darth vader mask 96. Glue pennies on the floor 'heads' side up 97. Knock over all the shelves and run around screaming 'EARTHQUAKE! EVERYON RUN! 98. find a pair of walkie talkies and have a conversation with your self when everyone is watching you 99. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices 100. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over 101. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund 102. get a cardboard box, go in the store and pop out of the box and give out candy to passerby 103. Find the fish section and when someone walks by begin to pet the fish tank and say, "I know how you feel..." 104. Spill water on the floor, and run around claiming that the store is flooded 105. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items 106. Scream really loudly and when someone tells you to be quiet scream, "I will not be silenced!!" 107. Hold a bag of frozen veggies over your head and yell "Fear me and my evil army of frozen carrots!!" 108. Hug someone randomly and say, "I love u mommy!" 109. Go in the undergarments section and ask random people if they think this will fit 110. Tie a plushie to one end of a string your ankle to the other end, and run around screaming "HELP! IT'S AFTER ME!" 111. Start yelling at the stuffed animals when there are people around 112. Grab some pampers Pull-Ups and while buying them yell at the clerk "Mommy, guess what? I'm a big kid now!!" 113. Go into the bedding department and with cookies in your hand lay on a bed then pretend ur having a nightmare about cookies and yell " COOKIE!! COOKIE!! NOOOOOO!!" Then start rolling around 114. Make evil eyes at someone and start whispering, "I'm the little girl from the well... I've been waiting..." 115. Go to the cafeteria area and buy frys. Then stand by the door and when people walk through throw the frys above their head like there getting married 116. look at old people with wide eyes saying, "I see dead people!" 117. Get a tent ( With holes preferably ) and tell people to come in your lair. When they do chuck popcorn at them and ask them who invited them in 118. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture. 119. Chase your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you. 120. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if you on a horse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying. 121. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your friend. 122. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins. 123. Walk up to the customer service and when they say "Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from McDonalds, but not Walmart 124. Get popcorn and throw at customers, sneaking up on them in an un stealth-like way, while yelling random things 125. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too. 126. When your alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. 127. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure. 128. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store. 129. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as you can. 130. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song. 131. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized. 132. Light a match under a sprinkler 133. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun". Then walk away. 134. Buy something that is like 5 and give the cashier all pennies. 135. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!! I haven't seen you in so long!!" Then kiss him. Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me??" Then walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy. 136. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get paid enough to do this" 137. Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up. 138. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone. 139. start hitting on the mannequins. 140. Super-glue a quarter to the floor and count how many people try to pick it up. 141. Switch the price tags with something expensive and something really cheap. 142. Put women's clothes into men's carts. 143. Put preppy stuff, like short skirts and whatnot, into old men's carts when they aren't looking. 144. Run around in front of a mirror screaming "COPYCAT!" 145. Bring a friend and a stopwatch. Get carts and race around. every time you nock something over, subtract a second from your time. You usually get kicked out before you figure out who won. 146. Find a couple. Run up to the one who is an opposite gender from you, slap them, and say "WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!" 147. Go up to an assistant and ask for mayonnaise. When they say they don't have it, start crying and scream, "Now how am I supposed to paint my toenails?!" 148. Lay on the floor and do a ground angel 149. Steal their ketchup, go on the counter, smear ketchup all over you and say HELP ME HELP ME! OMG! THE HOTDOG KILLED ME! 150. Start jumping on one of their beds attempt to fall asleep until one guy tells you to get off. Then yell 'HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY BED!!" 151. Run around switching all of the open signs on the cash registers to closed and all of the closed signs to open. Watch the customers get confused. 152. Ask for Goat Milk 153. Make sure somebody's in the same aisle, then run screaming into a wall. Fall down and say "AHHH! The pain, the horrible, terrible pain!" Until someone asks if you're alright. When they do, get up and say, "Yes, I'm fine, why?" And then walk away calmly like nothing happened. 154. Dress up as an emo kid, then scream at people, "WHY HAVE YOU COME TO WORSEN MY MISERY?!" 155. Dress up as a ninja and go around the store karate chopping people 156. Ride a horse on a stick toy thing and have your friend pull you around the store on a skateboard while you scream, "The British are coming! The British are coming!" 157. Turn a cart over and put towels over it so they can't see in. when someone starts to open it, start yelling "Hey, I'm Using the Bathroom in here!!" 158. Buy a chocolate bar, go to the bathroom, smear chocolate on your hand, reach under the next stall and ask, "Can I have some toilet paper?" 159. Take a fishing pole, tie it to a dollar, and go fishing for humans! 160. Climb up to one of the really high shelves and start singing Christmas carols at the top of your lungs. Works better around summer. 161. Get a mirror and put it on top of a cart so it lay across it. Get on top and have someone push you down an isle, and Sing "Surfin' USA" 162. When the intercom comes on, fall on your knees and scream in tears of joy, "God has spoken!!" 163. Get on a bike and ride around and crash into everything and everyone who gets in your way. 164. Pour a bunch of lemonade from the entrance to the bathroom and come out saying someone should have told me where the bathroom was quicker! 165. Steal guns and ammo and shoot all the TV's you can find. whoever blows up most wins 166. Get an umbrella and have someone in a cart (or just a tall person) pour water on it while you sing Raindrops Are Fallin' On My Head. 167. Call the front desk and when they answer the phone say I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again. Then call and say I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3. 168. Go into one of those employees only doors and go behind some food shelves. when people reach out to grab food, grab their arm and start to pull on it. 169. eat all the ice cream boxes and then blame it on a worker with ice cream all over your face 170. Pour carrots on the floor so the employees have to pick it up. Continue doing it for a long period of time. 171. Skate around on a skateboard, then fall over and pretend to break your leg. 172. Start playing the violin. 173. Stare at a blank T.V, for an hour and when somebody asks what your doing, answer, "Shh, this is my favorite show!" 174. Stand on the conveyor belt at the check out with a barcode on your forehead. 175. Start saying stuff like argetrargrehargenstartgen to everyone who walks in. 176. walk around in dirty cloths and eat all the produce lika a bum 177. Poke people and run away screaming, "Don't touch me!!" 178. Stare at people for a minute and then smile at them happily 179. Beat your chest and run around screaming like Tarzan. 180. Throw stuff on the floor and start yelling at an imaginary friend. 181. Shoot spitwads at people and then fall on the ground laughing hysterically 182. Go into a bathroom that is of the opposite gender of yourself and open the stalls saying, "Ooh la la!" 183. Walk up to random people, give them a hug, and say, "I love you!" 184. Dress up as an old man and start stealing stuff 185. Start a fire, then sit around it with your friends in Indian clothes. 186. Walk around in a court jester costume 187. Run at people with a pitch fork 188. Pretend that you're having a heart attack 189. Throw tomatoes at people and then tackle them 190. Get on the intercom and calmly say, "Attention shoppers. I would like to inform you that the world is about to end, and that there's a sale on isle two." 191. Buy a carton of vanilla ice cream, run up to the cash register, tell the cashier you forgot your money, then start dancing like Napoleon Dynamite, screaming, "Where's my chap stick?!" 192. Pretend to be Spiderman by running up walls and trying to save people 193. Claim isle three as your 'Secret Lair' 194. Run around the store singing the My Little Pony theme song as loud as you can. 195. Get a giant Christmas stocking and hop around in it like it's a potato sack on field day 196. Build a wall out of stuffed animals 197. Put on a cape and run around singing the Phantom of the Opera 198. Yell curse words at people 199. Knock down as many displays as you can 200. Go up to a random old guy with white hair and say, "I want Bratz for Christmas! Thank you Santa!" and then give him a hug and run away. 201. Dress up in a super villain costume and then go around the store yelling, "MARRY ME!" to random people 202. Go up to a tough looking guy and push him and say you wanna fight? And when he pushes back start to cry and run away 203. Point to a cash register and ask the cashier, "How much is that?" 204. Get a tent and campout with the Barbie dolls in the toy isle 205. Chew gum loudly in people's faces 206. Throw a poke-ball at someone and yell, "PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!" 207. Turn on all the flashlights, hang them from the ceiling, stand under them, scatter confetti at your feet, and start singing, using a Barbie as a microphone. 208. Play baseball in the middle of the store, then score a home run and run around the store screaming. 209. Flirt with someone, plan a date, and then break up with them, all in 10 minutes. 210. Get a cart and pile it high with items. When the cashier tells you the price, exclaim, "What a rip off!" And walk out of the store. 211. Start singing, "Tinkle, tinkle, little star! In a toilet that's real far! Up above us in the sky! It's weird to learn that pee does fly! Make sure it does never land! In my, my, my, my, my hand!" 212. Find all the beans you can and put them in your cart, and then tell random people that it's your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next couple years. 213. Pay for your stuff with all pennies, and then come up one too short. 214. Scream, "Look! Someone's stealing an old lady's purse!" and when they look away, take all the stuff in their cart and throw it around the store shouting "I'm a terrorist!" 215. Run out of the dressing room screaming, "Michael Jackson has my dad!" 216. Go to the pet isle. Point to a fish and say, "I'll have that one. And that one. And that one..." Keep going until you've pointed to every fish they have in stock 217. Tap dance through the store 218. Change the music on the intercom to Mexican 219. Rip open every package you see 220. Get on a bike and have your friend chase you. Pretend you are going to run over somebody and then move out the way. 221. Stand in front of the security camera and pretend to die (dramatically) 222. Scream "SECURITY!" as loud as you can. When they come up act all panicky and say "This is really important!" Then smile and say, "Hi." 223. Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" as loud as you can in the music section, then smile and say "Well, it's the music section so I thought you might like some live music." Then sing it again. 224. Run around with underwear on your head, screaming, "I am Captain Underpants!" 225. Follow a male security dude and ask him where the "feminine needs" are. 226. Go to the toy isle, set up the GI joe figures and yell, " Then it's WAR!!" 227. Pull down your pants next to a flower display and "water" the flowers. 228. Go to the bakery section and yell "I LOVE PIE!" to everyone you see. 229. Take all the pets out of their cages, including the fish. 230. Grab a strawberry shortcake doll and go to the bakery section. Tell the baker "I'd like to buy strawberry shortcake!" and hold the doll in their face. 231. Scream, "GET OUT OF MY YARD!" to everyone who walks by you. 232. Announce that there's a huge sale at Target 233. Throw a party in a busy isle 234. Test drive lawn mowers 235. Have a tennis tournament in the middle of the store 236. Throw all the bouncy balls in the toy section everywhere and let them bounce around 237. Carry a bomb and make it explode 238. Eat a bunch of candy and refuse to pay for it 239. Go to the in store restaurant and order anything. When receiving it tell them that this was not what you wanted. Refuse to pay and go tell the manager 240. Hide in a pile of plushies and then jump out at people who walk by 241. Act like an old lady and scream, "AH! I broke my back! This wouldn't happen at Target!" 242. Pretend to be a life size Barbie. When someone wants to buy you, run away screaming that someone was trying to kidnap you. 243. Take a marker to all the happy faces. Then change the prices. That will start an uproar 244. When a clerk stops you and asks your name read their name of their id card. When they say it's not your name scream, "IDENTITY THEFT!!" 245. Throw jelly sweets at the cashiers 246. Steal a shopping cart(As in take it out of the store and put it in your car) 247. Ride on the back of the carts. (they hate it when you do that) Run into other carts yelling like a maniac. 248. Follow one person around the store. Poke them ever so often. When the snap and yell at you scream, "STALKER!!" 249. Pretend like you're a person who works there and walk around saying, "Can I help you find anything?" 250. Spill cooking oil all over the floor and then slide in it 251. Pretend like you're blind and can't find what your looking for. Go up to random people and ask, "Will you help me find some cat food for Fluffy?" 252. Bowl with bottles full of open soda 253. Run around with a bowl of cheerios yelling, "It lowered my cholesterol!" 254. Order a pizza from the cashier 255. Ask to have your pizza shaken, not stirred 256. Start a food fight 257. Go up to a fat woman and say, "Taxi?" 258. Put underwear over your shorts, get a blue shirt, yellow paint, and red paint, paint an s on the shirt, go to the material section, cut a red cape, then get an umbrella, open it, and jump off the tops of shelves. 259. Take the spray paint and paint all the people around you 260. Go up to random people and hug them while putting a 'Kick Me' sign on the back of their shirt 261. Hide in dark places with a golden ring. when people walk by, jump out at them hissing, "We wants it! You cants have it!" Then gently whisper, "it will be alright my precious" 262. Flip off the manager 263. Go to the food section, take all of the boxed items out, and stack them up to make a fort. Glue can help. And creating a 'distraction' elsewhere for the employees to handle while you work does too... 264. Drop a pen and let someone else go and pick it up for you. When they do try to pick it up yell to them, "HEY THATS MY PEN THEIF!" 265. Bring a slip n' slide blast some Music and bring some random people to it and kick their back so they slide accross the slip n' slide and scream "PARTY IN THE HIZ HOUSE!!" 266. Throw a dance party 267. Write on the floors 268. Pull all the clothes off the racks into a pile on the floor and hide under it, and when someone tries to pick the clothes up, leap out cackling madly and run down the aisles, still cackling. 269. Go up to someone and say "look over there" Then pull down their pants. And, if you're lucky, their underwear. 270. Pretend to have an asthma attack, and when someone tries to help you, bite them. Or pretend to faint. 271. Get a bag of chips and walk around the store eating them. When an employee tries to stop you or make you pay, tell them that they're your chips! Keep screaming it. 272. Spray a customer with pepper spray and scream, "Help! Help! He's a rapist!" 273. Pretend to be a rabid dog and run around growling at people. Then if someone tries to stop you, bite them. 274. Lie on the floor. Just lie there. It is guaranteed to freak people out. Either pretend to be asleep, or to have passed out. 275. Take toys and put them on the floor and take a cart. Start running over the toys screaming, "Monster Truck Mania!!" 276. Climb up the shelves/storage units, then refuse to come down. 277. Take red juice Pour it on your face make streaks or stripes then layout on the floor with a flower in your hand when a crowd of people come stand up and walk like a zombie! 278. Grab a bowl, spoon, milk, and cereal. Eat it right there and tell them you'll pay when your done. 279. Stand on the conveyer belt when your checking out and walk like its a treadmill... then ask for a speed increase 280. Wrap yourself in toilet paper rolls and pretend to be a mummy looking for your wife, Cleopatra 281. Follow a stranger around and mimic them. Continue doing this for a long period of time. 282. If you are in Target, say there is a code yellow 283. Get some candy corn form the candy aisle put two on your canine teeth and go around the store biting peoples necks 284. Flirt with the manager's wife 285. Walk calmly to the CDs, when u see one that has Hilary Duff, yell (if you're a fan) OHMIGOD! HILARY'S LATEST! OHMIGOSH, I, LIKE HAVE TO HAVE THIS! (if you're not a fan) Find a hammer, take the CD, gently put it on the floor, then mash it like a madman. 286. Run around spinning and say you're the Tasmanian devil 287. Run around in circles and yell, "I'M THE CIRCLE MAN!" 288. Announce a sock-sliding contest and take off your shoes and start sliding. It's actually really fun... 289. Go up to a employee ask for a application and where it says goals write down 'to take over Wal-Mart' and turn it in 290. Get a water gun and threaten someone with it. A cashier is usually a prime candidate. Then say in a low, dangerous voice (without collapsing into laughter) "Empty out the cash register." 291. Take a soda, shake it up, and then spray it at people. 292. Hide in the clothes so when someone comes to look you yell, "PICK ME!" 293. Request that an employee find you an imaginary product, then keep saying: "I know it's here somewhere, just keep looking!" Eventually the employee will run out of patience, so then you say: "You've been punked!" And run out screaming and laughing. (Maybe you won't get kicked out, but you'll freak an employee out...) 294. Print out a bunch of advertisements for Target, Marshalls, etc... Then calmly go around taping/gluing/stapling them to products, people, and walls. It helps to have a WHOLE lot of them. 295. Move things around. (Put frozen food in with the barbies, etc...) 296. If a fat person has a twinkies in their cart take it out and start eating it and spit it out on them and yell, "That crud is sick!" 297. Point at an old man and yell, "LOOK EVERYONE! IT'S BRITNEY SPEARS!" 298. Put a ski mask on and wear a black cape with black clothes and a fake sword and yell, "Zoro has returned!" 299. Dress up as an old lady and whack people with your purse and when employees come to stop you, pretend to faint 300. Go to Wal-Mart at 2:00 in the morning and do cartwheels around the store screaming, "I'm pregnant!" 301. Put on a long wig and claim to be Pocahontas 302. Break some glass, then accuse a flying monkey 303. Threaten a cashier with a candy bar 304. Bring in scissors and glue. If anyone asks, tell them you are fulfilling your dream of giving Wal Mart a Make Over. 305. Buy a bag of candy. Start to walk away, then ask if you can exchange them. Repeat until they get angry. 306. Go to the dairy section and protest against milking cows. Say things like, "What if the cows aren't ok with us milking them? Cows have rights too!" 307. Redecorate the Rollback Smiley Face so he is green with neon pink eyes. 308. Go up to the manager and ask where the nearest K-Mart is. 309. If you see a couple holding hands, run through their hands and scream, "RED ROVER!" 310. Grab a gnome, then hide in a clothes rack and when someone picks out a shirt or whatever jump out and yell "The gnome did it! The gnome did it!" Then throw the gnome and run. 311. Put up free sample signs all over the store and watch people leave with their "free samples." 312. Run around the store screaming, "OMG! HELP! PINTO BEANS ARE TAKING OVER COSTCO! AHHH!" 313. In Walmart, they give out free stickers. Take them and decorate your body with them. 314. Get a bunch of your friends, about 10 or more, and go up to a lady who looks like she's in her 20's. When there are lots of people around, ask, "Mommy? Can we have some ice cream?" 315. Spit in the manager's face 316. Stare at a customer for a long time while saying, "Hello, hello, hello" nonstop until they get really mad 317. Go to customer service and say, "Your fat vallet guy stole my car." 318. Put an "Out of Order" sign on the manager's butt 319. Go up to customers and whisper, "Seven Days..." and if they turn around, pelt them with Skittles 320. Melt chocolate, then scream, "Free face masks!" 321. Wear a pair of bright yellow pants on your head and run around screaming, "They Got Me!!" 322. Slap the manager and scream, "He's alive! He's ALIVE!!" 323. Put a lot of matches and gasoline in your cart, then smile at people 324. Run around the store five times, and when you are done, scream, "I WIN!" and do a victory dance 325. Let a collie lose in the store, then scream, "Lassie, come home!" 326. Make your friend that's a guy try on girl clothes and then have him run around like a crazy person. 327. Hide in a boys clothes rack, and when a boy with glasses walks by, scream, "You're a wizard, Harry!" 328. Grab lots of G.I. Joe action figures and Water Bombs and yell, "ITS WAR!!" whenever someone walks by and throw the bombs at them. 329. Put a Dora toy on the floor and when someone tries to pick it up, yell, "Swiper No Swiping!" 330. Buy a fake but expensive looking vase. (ex. a cheap glass pot.) Fill it with some ash and soot. Then take it to an employee, bump into him and drop it so it shatters. Then keep screaming at him that it was your mother and you will sue him for every thing he owns, and tell him he has to pick it up then and there or he will be cursed for 10 years. 331. Put a squirt gun in a stuffed elmo's hand and scream, "Everybody down!! Elmo's got a gun!" 332. Drive around in a kiddie car singing the batman theme song. 333. Run around with underwear on your head screaming, "I'm Blind!! Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile. º¤ø„¸¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨¸„ø¤º°¨ What Makes 100? What does it mean to give MORE than 100? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100. How about achieving 103? What makes up 100 in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K And K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a song in your head but can’t remember what it was called copy and paste this to your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If your friends are WEIRD (but not as weird as you) put this on your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I villa now destroy de Snickers bars!' then copy this to your profile! If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile. If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile. If you think Max and Fang should confess their love for each other, copy and paste this into your profile. (Okay, I totally hate Fang in the book Angel, but otherwise, Fax for ever!!) If you have ever gotten so completely side-tracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you believe that Kristen Stewart and Robert Patterson would make a terrible Max & Fang, copy and paste this on your profile. (If you don't agree with this, you're INSANE.) If you like to read FanFiction more than you like to read books, copy and paste this on your profile. If you’re addicted to your iPod, copy and paste this on your profile. If your parents love to embarrass you, copy and paste this on your profile. If your profile is waaaaaaayyyy too long, but you keep making it longer, copy this and put it on your profile. If you have ever spent too much money at Barnes and Noble, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy and paste this in your profile. If you feel the need to read through someone's profile even when you don't know them, copy and paste this into your profile 30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are in the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and paste this to your profile. If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If keyboards hate you, copy and paste this. If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this on your profile! (I'm insane. If you have ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile. ( I don’t. I LOVE it!!!) If you support werewolf rights, copy & paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it, put this on your profile. If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes or more, place this on your profile. If you have ever tried to lick your elbow even though you knew it was physically impossible, paste this on your profile. If you and/or your best friend are insane, put this on your profile. 92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you could easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever eaten something none of your friends would try, copy/paste this in your profile. If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you have ever insulted someone so stupid that they didn't get the insult, copy this into your profile. If you have ever ran into a door, copy this into your profile If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever walked into a wall before copy this. If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever spent too much time of the computer, copy and paste this to your profile. If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile! If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or visa versa, copy this onto your profile. If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile. If you have laughed so hard that you couldn't breathe and ended up laughing silently while half crying due to lack of air, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing while reading a book and people look at you funny, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (If you've ever stayed up ALL NIGHT reading, raise your hand.) If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Is it EVER going to come out? They said it would LAST YEAR!) If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this in your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever thought about something while you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile. 98 percent of teenagers do drugs and alcohol. If you like bagels, copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If FanFiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this onto your profile. If you've ever hated Dora copy this onto your profile Stupid Labels: On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. Why can pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them? Where's the good in goodbye? Why are they called apartments when they all stick together? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Am I the only one who finds it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is abbreviation such a long word? If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? When the guy first discovered milk...what do you think he was doing? I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! Tihs is so cool! Friend: Will comfort you when he rejects you Friend: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you Friend: Helps you up when you fall Friend: Helps you find your prince Friend: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying Friend: Will offer you a soda Friend: Gives you their umbrella in the rain Friend: Will help you move Friend: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing Friend: Knows a few things about you Friend: Tells you she knows how you feel Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost Friend: Will help me learn to drive Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away Friend: Will help me up when I fall down Friend: Will bail me out of jail Friend: Will go to a concert with me Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs." Friend: Asks me for my number Friend: Hides me from the cops Friend: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public Friends: Fade Things I Am Not To Do At Hogwarts The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office. I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick. I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar. I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination. I will not say that Seamus Finnegan is "After my Lucky Charms." I will not start a betting pool on this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. I will not joke about Remus Lupin’s "Time of the month." I will not make light saber sounds with my wand. I will not to give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals. I will not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force." I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot I will not use spells if the thought of it makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds.I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug a Slytherin Day." I will sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways. I will not yell, "BURN!" whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort. I will not feed 1st years to Fluffy. I will not ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. I will not yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate. I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways I will not insist that the Hufflepuff’s colors indicate that they're "covered in bees." I will not take "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" as a challenge. I will not take advantage of a sleeping classmate by drawing a Dark Mark on their arm. I will not use House Elves as replacements for Bludgers. I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion. I will not call the Weasly or Patil twins, "bookends." I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. I will not tell Sirius he takes himself too seriously. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice. I will not attack my fellow classmates. I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area. I will not flirt with Harry Potter in front of Ginny Weasly. I will not flirt with Ron Weasly in front of Hermione Granger. Almost nobody is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry It's just a piece of paper. If you wanna see more of it, I know this really cool invention called a notebook with hundreds of pages of paper you can stare at all you want There should only ever be one thing a man wants to change about his girl... Her last name I liked homework when it was called coloring. Hey you. Yeah, you. No, not you...That other guy. You right there! YES, YOU. Do you like tacos? She's my best friend. You break her heart; I’ll break your face. I have a head!! OMG!! ME TOO!! LETS BE FRIENDS!! Ok, let’s stop being difficult and just take life's freaking lemons! If's schools so smart how come grades go...A, B, C, D, and F!! What happened to E?? Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings? Get over it!! Come to de dark side!! But bring a flashlight because its dark over here. Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Its ether my mum or dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can’t. Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door... If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. I love deadlines. I like to wave at them as they pass by You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder A wise man once said "I don't know. Go ask a woman" It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 to reach out and slap someone Don't knock on deaths door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that Vegetarian: Indian word for 'lousy hunter'. Boys are like trees – they take fifty years to grow up Boys are like slinkies. They seem useless but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is. Be yourself. That's crazy enough. You always get what’s coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail. Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place. They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" I don't think you'd kill many people Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is. I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves. The trouble with real life is that there is no background music I have not lost my mind; it’s backed up on a disk somewhere Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything. Forecast for tonight: darkness If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do? I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. If everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die. Hell is full of musical amateurs There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line I'm not random. I just have many thoughts I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. If a species is to triumph and prevail, the female of the species must be more deadly than the male. Don't ever argue with an idiot. They'll bring you down to their level and beat you through experience. To oppose something is to maintain its existence. If people lead, the leaders will follow. Some people are born great, some people achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. If you had a life you would stop talking about mine We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction! Heaven doesn't want me there and Hell knows I'll take over. Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner. There is no great genius without a mixture of madness When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me. Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor. PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch. Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them as much If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. When life gives you lemons make grape juice, lay back, and let the world wonder how you did it. I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah! Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway. I have a dream and in it, something eats you. It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems. She would know. If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared? I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world. Shhhhh it’s a secret. Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a Barbie doll. By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday Have you considered suing your brain for non-support? I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass! I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it! Wherever there is life there is love. Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks? I'm NOT SHORT!! ... I'm fun sized! Strawberry Laces! Cause not every kid can afford crack! Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses! When you call us bitches we just look at each other and crack up, because we knew that WAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOU DID! When a boy tells you to "Suck It!" Just smile and say "Sorry but my mother told me to never put SMALL things in my mouth!" Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to hell? HELL- Where all the fun people end up! I'm smiling cause I'm your sister, I'm laughing cause there’s nothing you can do about it! When I die, I'm going to haunt the shit out of you people! If I had half a mind...I would still be smarter than you!! Flying is simple; you just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water! All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege. Where there's a will...I want to be in it. A clean house is a sign of a broken computer I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster. To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding... Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking. Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING? If you can’t beat ‘em join them. If you can’t join them bribe them. If you can’t bribe them, blackmail them. If you can’t blackmail them kill them. If you can’t kill them you’re screwed. Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "brightness," but it doesn't work. MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men! Come to the dark side. We have cookies. In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place. Being weird is like being normal, only better. When you say I'm weird, I laugh because I knew that wayyyy before you did. You’re just jealous 'cause we act stupid in public and people still love us! Dear Math, Grow up and solve your own problems! I'm not weird, you’re just too normal. Being weird is like being normal, only better. This is NOT the life I ordered... It's not "When wild animals attack!!" It's more like "When stupid/careless people get bit!" It's so simple to be wise! Just think of something stupid to say and then say the exact opposite... Love your enemies, it pisses them off. NEVER take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways... And just when I found the key to success...someone goes and changes all the locks!! I used to have a handle on life... and then it broke. There's always light at the end of the tunnel...just pray it's not a train. A solar eclipse is just a moment without sun. A moment without sun is well...you know... night. Please remind me again. If time is on your side, then what's on the other?? There are 3 types of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't. Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go. If I agreed with you, then we'd both be wrong. I don't speak Idiot fluently so please speak slowly and clearly. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. Don't blame yourself. That's my job. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it'll be hard to pronounce! The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but It's still on the list. You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse. Now we know why some animals eat their own children. Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested. Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you. This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person. I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time? When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head. A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today. Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you? Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own. Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure. Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another? He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory. I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving. I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works. I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening. I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others. I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you. I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me. Every book has an ending...but in life every ending is a new beginning. The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. People think it must be fun to be a smart, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or you suck. Be a loser because 'cool' is overrated. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. We may not make good decisions but hell, we make good stories. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face, when you push them down a flight of stairs. I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Imagination is more important than knowledge. The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits. If I see something I haven’t seen before, I’ll throw a dollar at it. But at the end of the day, love really did conquer all. What's so special about this Bella girl? Edward's so whipped. We met and we talked and it was epic, but then the sun came up and reality set in. Hermitage, where the party never stops because it never even started. Perfect is just a ridiculous myth. The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well used brings happy death. Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand. The thing is, our generation, we fight every day to get through life. Why not stand up, pump your fists in the air, and scream like a maniac. Be Unforgettable. When we think we know people inside out and we think we know what's best for them we should try to remember we don't even know what's best for ourselves. Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world? My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon. Therapist = the/rapist... scary thought You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! Life was so simple when boys had cooties. I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator! I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. I ran with scissors, and lived! When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I don't obsess! I think intensely. All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong. Right now I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y". I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the people you hate. It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with. I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me? One day your life will flash before your eyes, so make sure that it's worth watching. Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. Just because I'm cute doesn't mean I’m nice. Education is important; school however, is another matter. Don’t mess with me I've got a stick. Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable. Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow. Boys are like knives, useful but they'll cut you eventually. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. I’m made of sugar, spice and everything nice, but before you mess with me you better think twice. A news anchor is the one who says, “God evening,” and tells you why it’s not I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either. 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends; if it's not them, it's you. Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. The three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? “Hold my purse.” Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up! Take my advice, I don't use it anyway. When life gives you lemons, throw them back and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!! Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. The dinosaurs’ extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous. I had amnesia once--or twice. You know what? I don't really even remember. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is my ceiling? If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk! If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there! Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned. I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead. Stressed is Desserts backwards :) When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back! Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. |
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