Does anybody but stalkers actually read these things?

Okay, my name is Action Jackson, and I'm a loose-cannon cop who doesn't play by anybodies rules but his own. I'll wash the car and and eat steel for breakfast. I'm also a freelance ninja, and privateer who has cool flying wheels like that guy from Inuyasha. I'm a bad-asterix Brawler who owned boss rush mode with Jigglypuff. Also I'm a robot ghost who pilots a giant robot, but that's only on the weekends. I spend my summers wrassling bears, as well...but only when I'm injured, I wouldn't want it to too unfair for the critter,which is why I only face them in a strait jacket, with one leg tied behind my back. I am proficient in martial arts. All martial arts, real and fictional. But especially that one that Bruce guy did. I sleep on a bed of spears, not nails like those girly men do, my skintanium armor is far too tough for that, which is why only an army of Sephiroth clones can hurt me. I also eat and eat, and never poop, but when I do, I wipe with sand paper. I know the Muffin Man. I have graduated from every college and university in the world, with top honors, every year, since they've opened. I have an I.Q. over 9000, and am a master of debate, but I prefer to let my fists do the talking. I win at everything. As a local blacksmith, carpenter, electrician, plumber, mason, and state alchemist, I built everything I own, which includes a mountain and a circus. I can ride horses, bulls, lions, bears, and dinosaurs, bare back. I am also an explosives expert, and can blow things up with my mind like that one guy from Avatar. I may be part robot-time traveler , but I am all that is American. My middle name is Freedom...literally. I defeated the Nazis, the Soviets, and the British, in every war. Even the ones they were just thinking about. I have played and beaten Great Blue, one hundred times, consecutively. Even when it started shooting missiles at me. Good thing I can take explosions...

Alright, my poll is at a bit of a standstill. You see, I have three votes saying that I should have a poll, three votes against me having one, and eleven votes that say I'm awesome, which leaves unable to conclude anything but that there are eleven very right people in this world.

Dear Anonymous reviewers,

I don't support the LU, or what they do. I don't flame, I don't report, and I'm not responsible for your favorite fic or author quitting, or getting their story removed. I'd tell you this myself, and I'd gladly laugh at them with you, but you haven't left a name, so that kills that. But it's really sad to see you hate me for the wrong reasons. If, however, you want to flame me and hate me for my writing/personality/religion/race/favorite stories/other absurd reasons/just because, go ahead, if that will make you happy.