N.B. I don't write stories in fanfiction. I just read and review the good ones. Yes, that means that if I've reviewed you then you're a good writer (or have the potential to be a good one). In my opinion, anyway. Not that my opinion counts for much. Whatever. But I DO (or am planning to) write stories in www.fictionpress.com so you guys are welcome to look at those stories (when I get around to writing them). I'd rather come up with my own stuff ...

Do you REALLY want to know what I'm like? Well, here it is.

Biographical Information:

Education: What can I say? We all need an education of some sort. Whether we get it or not is a totally different matter. Oh well.

Family / Pets: We're an average, normal family. Two parents. Two younger sisters (from hell). A budgerigar (Update: The budgerigar has flown away to freedom- at least it didn't die), goldfish (actually, I'm surprised the goldfish are still alive with what my sister feeds them). I remember once we had a couple of birds. They died. And do you know how? Someone fed them rocks, mistaking them for birdseed. How dumb can you get? I know. The answer to that question is VERY. But STILL- rocks. The poor birds . . . What monsters we humans are. Especially my family. There should be a sign on the front door saying: BEWARE ALL CREATURES- INCLUDING HUMANS. TURN AWAY NOW LEST YOU FIND YOURSELF EITHER BEHEADED, MURDERED, CRUCIFIED, OR ANY OTHER KIND OF DEATH BOTH IMAGINABLE AND UNIMAGINABLE. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK. I bet we wouldn't get any more people from Jehovah's Witnesses coming around anymore

Favourite Authors: Do you REALLY want me to list them ALL for you? All I can say is, you're gonna be here for a LOOOONG time! I'll just put down authors that I like (but not necessarily love): Dan Brown, C.S. Lewis, Philip Pullman, Victor Kelleher, Jerry B. Jenkins and Tim LaHaye, John Marsden, Chris Archer, Brian Jaques, Jackie French, Margaret Clark, Andy Griffiths, Louise Cooper, J.K. Rowling, J.R.R. Tolkien, Berlie Doherty, Sophie Masson, Irini Savvides, Hilary Mckay, Meg Cabot (and all the other versions of her name), Catherine Jinks, Liz Berry, Kevin Crossley-Holland, Nicholas Sparks, Anthony Horowitz, Willian Nicholson, Susanne Gervay, Nicole Luiken, Adele Geras, Eoin Colfer, Ursula le Guin, Tamora Pierce, Isobelle Carmody, Richard Harland, Cate Tiernan, Cliff McNish, Maureen McCarthy, Joanne Harris, Tim Bowler, Louis Sachar, Bryce Coutenay, Sidney Sheldon, Steven King, Chris Ryan, Francine Pascal (Fearless and Elizabeth books), Jostein Gaarder, Christopher Rice, Margaret Haddix, Holly Lisle, Rebecca Wells, Diane Duane, Malorie Blackman, Thomas Harris, Cecilia Dart-Thornton, Kate Constable, Melina Marchetta, Ann Brashares, Michael Molloy, Alyssa Brugman, Ian Irvine, Trudi Canavan, Garth Nix, and there's so much more but I don't know if I can go on any longer.

Favorite Foods: I've heard that some people believe that there's a fine line between eating to live and living to eat. I'm afraid I'm a living to eat person. No, I'm not completely fat (I only weigh 50 kg) but I'm not like anorexic either. Oh well, what can I say? I just LOVE food. Did you see that? L-O-V-E. Yes. I L-O-V-E food. I would die without food (oh, I know that everyone WOULD die without food, but you know what I mean). I love all kinds of food. Well, almost all. I hate bitter melon with a passion. If you've never eaten it or never even heard of it, I hope you never do 'cos it's the most foul thing you'll ever lay your eyes on. Other than that, I mostly agree with food and food mostly agrees with me (except when I eat too much, of course).

Favorite Places to Travel: The World. It's an interesting place. Just walking down the street fascinates me. Looking at the kids who look at me and say, "Mummy, look at her. She looks weird!" and the Mum will be like, "No, don't do that. How many times have I said this: It's rude to point. Yes, she DOES look a bit suspicious, maybe we'll move out of her way, now, shall we?" like I'm some drug addict. Yes, it's demoralising. But so hilarious. OH, the joys of life.

Gender: This is a hard one. Oh yeah, I'm female.

Goals in Life: To live, love, eat, dream, sleep, cry, feel- all these things and so much more. I also want world peace. No, I don't want that. If there was world peace, the media would run out of jobs, and we can't have that, can we? I want to make an impact in this world. I want to help people. I want to stop being afraid. I want to not be bored. Ever. I want to worship God. I want to go to heaven. I want to die knowing I wasn't just a waste of space. Is that too much to ask? I can tell that some of you are thinking, "Yep, too much to ask," but oh well. I can't satisfy everyone- hell, even God can't do that.

Hobbies: Reading (as you've probably guessed), horse-riding, touch football, swimming, bike-riding, going on the internet, playing games, collecting business cards (yes, I know I'm weird, you don't have to tell me), roller-blading, collecting junk (I've got a tap in my room for absolutely NO reason, other than decoration, of course. What room doesn't need decorating?), reading (I think I've already said it but oh well), making art, looking at the stars, looking at the funny clouds, crying (it's quite fun actually), singing (24/7- it annoys the hell out of EVERYBODY), anoying people, reading, writing in my diary, writing in general, eating . . . is there any more? I'll just add any more I can think up of later. Oh, I've thought of another one. Doing surveys. Yes, I know I'm strange as well as weird. But surveys are interesting things actually. You find out some stuff about yourself you never knew (if that makes sense) and I like trying to put myself in certain categories and boxes. Being so messed up, I like to know exactly what's happening in my messed up life, if you know what I mean. You probably don't. Most people never do.

Musical Interests: I love all music. I play the piano (and I used to play the recorder and the violin). I also do percussion. I like pop music, R & B, some rap, even classical music. What I CAN'T tolerate is heavy rock or metal music. What is the point exactly? Just banging up and down, hurting my precious ear drums, it drives me insane (or more insane than I already am). Oh well, some like that and some like this. I just don't understand how they could like that sort of music, though. Maybe there ARE people in this world more insane than moi. On second thought, that's probably impossible.

Occupation: I am many things. I am a student. I am also retired (from being a baby). I am a professional annoyer and irritater. I am a walking (and singing) juke box. I am the Weirdo Extraodinnaire (I THINK that's how you spell it). I am a daughter. I am a player. But most importantly- I AM ME! No one has ever been me before. Boy, am I special! I'm unique, just like EVERYONE ELSE . . .

Personal Web Page:

Religion: Oh, by the way, that's not an actual web site! Just in case you had tried it out and thought: i-am-incredibly-stupid.com/ . . . Hang on, that sounds familiar- is it talking about me? In that case, yes. Back to religion: I am a very committed Christian, and nothing will ever change that. If you have any questions about Christianity or God/Jesus or the Bible, let me know. My email addresses are: dilsy89@hotmail.com AND elements_of_the_soul@yahoo.com.au - There you go. If you just want to say hi, you are most welcome to do that. I always reply. But don't expect a reply if you're sending me spam or a virus. I might return the favour, however ...

Sports: Can't say much here. All my fingers are aching from typing too much. I am such a touch typist. NOT!!! Well, there's not much to say here, really. Just look at my hobbies. It's all there, you just gotta look properly. Well, this is all I'm gonna say now. It's 12:26 a.m. and I am SOOOOOO tired. *yawn* Good night (or should I say Good Morning). Bye for now. Oh, and congratulations for getting this far without falling asleep- or maybe you DID fall asleep but woke up and started reading then. Well, congratulations for WANTING to read 'till the end. Not many can accomplish this amazing feat- let me tell you! I am boring as hell. No, I'm MORE boring than that. Well, I really gotta go now. Send me a message if you want to say hi- or if you just wanted to know why I'm so weird- my parents tell me it's not genes. As for me: I'm not COMPLETELY sure about that ...

~~~ABOUT ME~~~ABOUT ME~~~ABOUT ME~~~ABOUT ME~~~ABOUT ME~~~ABOUT ME~~~ABOUT ME~~~

Hi! I have multiple personalities. About 108 at last count. Hi! I have multiple personalities. About 109 at last count. I am a human being who has been abducted by aliens four times throughout my life (short as it has been) and I am interested in the areas specified above. I am a professional assassin, so if you need a contract killer, I only accept offers above $500 000 (that’s in US dollars). Hi! I have multiple personalities. About 110 at last count. I think. I can't count very well. I'm still in 1st Grade. Shameful, I know, isn't it? Hi! I have multiple personalities. About 111 at last count. I am the 15th wealthiest person in the world and own a multi-billion dollar company here in Tokyo. I was born in- Hi! I have multiple personalities. About 112 at last count. I had a sex change the other week. Or was it last month? Oh well. I am now a female. These breasts are great. The wonders of plastic surgery ... Hi! I have multiple personalities. About 113 at last count. I am a very weird person. I don't know who you are. Are you even human? Yes, I thought so. You are a website. HA! I can breathe and you can't. You call that breathing, you idiot? This is how you breathe... Hi! I have multiple personalities. About 4376 at last count. I have been reincarnated several times already. I think I have to go now. My ancestral spirit is calling me...