My Current Fandom: The Avengers

Stuff Made By Awesome People:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bz8QsZK9LA - Hadrianus-dark1, for Hollow Thank you so much, it means a lot to me that you took the time to make this!

About Me:
Hi. If you're on this page than you obviously know what my name is. Things I like and hate... I don't feel like telling you that. My dreams for the future... Never really thought about it. As for my hobbies... I have lots of hobbies.
I'm a shameless slasher, and I don't find het fics interesting enough to hold my attention. However, I will write a het fic if requested, and I can deal with het side pairings.
I don't plan my stories, so they may seem a little... jumbled.
I had a choice between an incredibly offensive picture for my avatar, and a not so offensive one. For once, I went with something not offensive.
I'm proud of myself.

I'm not here anymore. I'll come back eventually. I still post quotes though.

Some Quotes For You:

"Sarcasm is just a fancy term for lying with attitude." -Me

"Optimists see the glass as half full. Pessimists see it as half empty. Realists, well, they just see water." -Me, on Realism

"I want to go out with a bang. That's why my last words are going to be "Yes, I'm sure the safety's on!"' - Me

"Want to play rape?"
"No."
"That's the spirit!" -A friend of mine won't stop saying this...

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'." -Not Sure

"It took the Ancients a thousand years to build the Stargate system and I wrecked it in one day!" -Jay, 'Avenger 2.0', Stargate SG1

"Stop falling in love with Riku when I'm being all sexy!" -Axel, It's Just You and Me, Nejinee

"Dead people should be dead!" -Doug, Scrubs, 'My Way Home'

"Hey - Janitor. Have you seen Martha?"
"Who?"
"Newbie."
"Scooter?"
"Sure."
"No."
"Ok."
I'm glad we had this time together. -Dr Cox and the Janitor, Welcome Home, saltoftheearth

"I was so numb, I don't even think I would have noticed Gai-sensei pulling off Naruto's sexy-no-jutsu."
Kakashi shuddered. "And that was a mental image I could have done without entirely." -Iruka and Kakashi, Blood for Blood, Kita The Spaz

"Y-you mean they write about u-us..."
"Doing the nasty yeah." Kakashi leered.
"B-but I'm straight."
"Me to, but that doesn't stop them."
Somewhere across the time space continuum a choir of voices screamed 'DENIAL.' -Iruka and Kakashi, The Yaoinator, The-Lady-Smaell

From their perch on the floor the two remaining conscious members of the room (the rest had once again been knocked out by Tsunade's 'Nekkid booby no jutsu') looked on in undisguised horror as their leader prepared to fight. -Narrator, The Yaoinator, The-Lady-Smaell

"Boobie-hame-ha!" -Tsunade, The Yaoinator, The-Lady-Smaell

"Holy fucking Yaoi gods!" -Um, Random Yaoi Fangirl from the Future after watching awesome hot smexy time between Kakashi and Iruka?, The Yaoinator (Again...), The-Lady-Smaell... Just, go read her stories, okay? Good!

"Demon Foliage! I will defeat you and your leafy friends if it is the last thing I do!" -Gai trying to defeat Kakashi's bush disguise, Barriers, Wordsplat

"Damnit…" Kakashi grumbled, rubbing his sore head. "I don't think you hit me hard enough, my head is only slightly indented." -Kakashi after Tsunade hit him, The Importance of the Ring, Wordsplat

"Tails was right. You DO have the attention span of a peanut." -Shadow talking to Sonic, 50 Years Younger, ShadowRox

"Naruto draws out strong emotions in Sasuke: love, guilt, he just touches him inside - The only emotions Sakura draws out from him is annoyance and a strong urge to kill." -Killercat-nya talking about SasuNaru and SasuSaku.

"I embody all that is wrong in your fandom." -Gesshoku.org, on a bag

James rolled his eyes. "I should have guessed you like boys."
"Men, Commodore." James shifted uncomfortably as Jack swept his eyes over him. "And women."
"And select animals, no doubt," James added sarcastically.
"Only sea-turtles, mate," Jack said with an amused grin. -James and Jack, 'The Opportune Moment', Leila Data

"I brought payment! Look, an undead monkey - top that!" -Jack Sparrow, offering Jack the Monkey as payment for info on the key to Dead Man's Chest, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

"And what's your story?"
"My story? It's exactly the same as your story, just one chapter behind. I chased a man across the Seven Seas. The pursuit cost me my crew, my commission, and my life."
"Commodore?"
"No, not anymore, weren't you listening?!" -James Norrington and Joshamee Gibbs, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

"You know you can't read."
"It's the Bible, you get credit for trying." -Pintel and Regetti, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

"What's he thinking?" Rogue hissed at the evil thing grinning on the chair.
"The L word!" She gushed in a completely un-Jean manner.
"Lesbian?" Bobby asked. Good to know what his mind's on. -Rogue, Jean and Bobby, talking about what Jean heard Logan thinking, Nightmare, Carmelcate

"That's right, I'm here to infect your fandom with my robosexual filth." -Sofa King Danny, Flowers

"Do you remember Kim's little sister? PH-Double D's? Remember her?"
"Is it ethical to say things like that about your sister-in-law?"
"What? It's factual. It's peer-reviewed. I mean, it's like... Anyway, whatever. She's in town this Friday."
"Okay."
"And she thinks you're intriguing, which I thought was code for gay, but apparently not, because she's asked if you would join us for dinner." -Phil and John, Knowing

"Mr Wenneck, I was..."
"It's the weekend. I don't know you. You do not exist." -Random Kid and Phil, The Hangover

"You there, young man. Can you read?"
"Yeah?"
"Got half of these kids beat..." -Teacher and Malcolm, Malcolm in the Middle, High School Play

"If you flip me the bird from the side of the road; I’ll just mount the curb and run you over." -Jollyjack over at dA, he's so funny...

"This was the real reason Uchihas were silent. Not for intimidation purposes… no, it was to avoid extreme humiliation at the nonsense their mouths puked out!" -Sasuke, The Demilitarized Zone, michelerene

"'Oh, hello, Mr Madara, sir… yes, just go ahead and manipulate my every action… I don't remember the last time I thought on my own.'" -michelerene, on how stupid Sasuke is...

"What was that noise you just made with your mouth?"
"It's called whistling. What, they don't do that here?" Flynn asked.
"No," Ram said, looking totally mystified. "It seems like you Users do a lot with your mouths, huh?" Flynn nearly choked on his own saliva." -Ayala Atreides, Science Fiction Double Feature, Flynn and Ram

"Only Obi-Wan Kenobi could leave Bandomeer to pick up new crop seeds and come back with a sex slave." -Mi'aka, Sun Kissed, Vee017

"That's stupid, Sora. He's not going to kill you."
"But what if he sneezes and get's his pretty on me? And like… it burns?" -Roxas and Sora, Save the Kittens, Kareen2006

(Insert astricts here—FF GIMME MEH ASTRICTS BACK!) -Kandakicksass, Sincerely, the Half Blood Prince

"He motions her over to sit with him, sounding like such a creeper in doing so. "Why don't you sit with me today?" This is something I'd expect a forty year old in a Pedobear costume to say to a six year old in the park." -DoItForTheLulz, Twilight Uncensored Review over at dA

"Is this the plan you were muttering about that involved staking Neville out on the Quidditch pitch with a sign saying "Eat me'?"
Draco waved a hand dismissively. "No. I decided that, knowing Longbottom, he'd botch up being eaten somehow. My current plan is much better." -Ron and Draco, A Slytherin in Gryffindor's Clothing, mahaliem

"Really how could Ed doubt their epic love? It was like the Montague's and the Capulet's. Only for the digital age and with way more gay sex." -Sam Flynn, making Romeo and Juliet more interesting, Conference, over at LiveJournal

"Congratulations, Gary. I hope I don't poison you with this cake, because then I'd really miss you. Love, Ash." -Ash, The Gym Leader of Viridian City, LucreNoin

"Not likely would they allow something like this in this oversensitive "everything kills you" world. And if they do that in your area; your teacher is probably wanted by the FBI for harvesting your organs when you fall asleep in his class." -DoItForTheLulz, Uncensored Twilight Review 5, Over at dA

Disclaimer: I do not own Ezio Auditore da Firenze, he belongs to Ubisoft. As for Leonardo Da Vinci, he belonged to himself as far as I'm aware. -platinumblind, Voyeur

"So maybe I mixed up a few words. Boring looks a hell of a lot like amazing when you squint."
"You read the dictionary drunk or something?"
"I think that'd explain a lot." -Desmond and Shaun, wild sunshine, Last Star in the Sky

Desmond contemplated making a run for it before anyone else noticed what was going on; if Lucy found out he'd accidentally broken their historian, she'd kill him. -solaciolum, ENDA

I feel a little sacrilegious for calling one of the most brilliant men in history a "dirty little whore" and making him enthusiastically suck cock. My only consolation is that he probably would not have minded. -Agar, Curiosity

"Where'd you get a fucking 10 mil?" Butch asks.
Tang. "Overseer's office."
"The fuck were you doing in the Overseer's office?"
Tang. "Stealing his 10 mil." –Tunnel O’ Love, Anne Apocalypse

Men would not become astronauts if it did not afford them the opportunity to tell women at parties that they are astronauts. -The 7 Craziest Things Ever Done to Get Laid

'At least I'm being allowed to die in a pleasurable, although creative way.' The only truly comforting thought having come to mind since entering the machine. 'Lucky me.' –Shaun, Subjects of Discussion, AyaDragonsheart

"Antonio said you were touched by God, by the angels. I did not think he meant 'stupid'." – Rosa, The Vitruvian Man, Anya Al’Nighter

"Do you want Leonardo or not? If not, I intend to seduce him. If not me, then maybe Antonio will. Or the both of us." – Rosa, The Vitruvian Man, Anya Al’Nighter

"You're right, I absolutely apologize," Shaun replies, voice flat. "I had completely forgotten that I was a mechanical cyborg entirely devoid of all emotion and human need; I'll try to think rationally the next time an attractive man takes off my pants and-"
"I get it," – Shaun and Lucy, We’re Not in Jerusalem Any More, Toto, Melfice

Arcade 'Village Bicycle' Gannon - icecrystal2k, over at dA, commenting on Battle Hymn

How do people actually manage to write full-blown same-sex smut, anyway? There aren't enough pronouns! - words without, Battle of Eagles

"I thought you were dead or dying in a ditch on the side of the road."
"Liar," Altaïr said, "you know full well I would never deprive you the pleasure of rubbing salt in my wounds. I would have dragged myself back to Jerusalem if only to die in your Bureau."
"And to leak blood all over the floor." - Malik and Altaïr, Letters, reine Seele

"I must take a small child if I am to get out of this action scene alive!" - John Cusack, 2012 in Fifteen Minutes, Cleolinda Jones, over at Livejounal

"Leonardo, my friend, you would not believe how famous I am! I have fandoms where people do unspeakable things to me!" -Ezio, Super Star, Warfang

For himself Altair sat back down on the grass and proceeded to not give a fuck. -Malik, Laws of the Game, Xazz

As a refresher it's now been 7 months since Malik heard from Altair and about 3 since Ezio became a practicer of the school of "make awkward sexual advances not war." -Xazz, Altered Flight Pattern

I was stuck for like days on how to write about two grown men flying across the continent on a magic carpet while singing A Whole New World, WITHOUT making it stupid and cheesy! -Altair and the Magic Apple, Yun-Ah

Do not meddle in the affairs of slashers - for you are cute, and go well with other men. -Icon at livejournal, oh, how true...

English - A language that lurks in dark alleys, beats up other languages, and rifles in their pockets for spare vocabulary - Icon at lj, again, so true...

I always get orgasms when putting shoes in cardboard boxes while I am in the nude, don't you? - My Immortal (Rewrite), Kelly Mareher

"Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!" -Ancient Roman Graffiti

I think Ezio eventually evolved into the Renaissance version of Hugh Hefner, old as dirt and still getting more pussy than anyone else. -Anon at the kinkmeme

"Words going around the streets of Roma are saying that I am impotent, unsexed by a stray blade, plagued by terrible venereal diseases, disabled by old age, secretly a voyeuristic pervert, swinging for the other team. What other team? I will always remain true to the Brotherhood!" -Ezio, The Contents of his Breeches, kinkmeme fill

"WHY ARE THERE WOMEN HERE?!" -Triggersad, comment on dA

"Malik, Maria is visiting her parents again and I really need to release this sexual frustration. Get on your knees!" -Anon at the kinkmeme. If only it was that easy...

Tell me, Desmond, how does it feel to be assassinated by a man in striped tights? - Shaun, pwning Desmond's ass in AC: B Multiplayer as the Harlequin

Dear bath mat,
Thank you for letting my not so sober self pretend you're a magic carpet.
Sincerely, 'A WHOLE NEWWWWW WORLD!' -Dear Blank, Please Blank

"My last two albums were recorded live in concert, just guitar and voice, and I wanted to do something different this time. Whenever I write or perform a new song, in my head I hear pianos and drums and tubas and string sections and jug bands and children's choirs. I want you to hear those things too. Except we couldn't find a children's choir whose parents would let them sing about drug mules and transsexual prostitutes. Maybe next time." - Stephen Lynch about his album, 3 Balloons

Do you know how many hours I wasted just jogging from rooftop to rooftop in Assassin's Creed? Not even pursuing unlockables, just jumping because jumping is neat! - Cracked.com

Holmes: (illustrating a point) Take Watson.
Mary: I intend to.
Holmes: (unhappy "bitch plz" laugh) -TV Tropes

Veronica, why are you running across a minefield to punch a Bark Scorpion? -Tv Tropes

Erik makes a mental note to get a fucking TiVo. What kind of assassin doesn't have TiVo? -Erik, ayashina, Utility Belts and Elbow Patches

"Honestly, Erik. You could take that machine apart, piece by piece, with your mind, but you can't make a fucking caramel latte?" - Emma, ayashina, Utility Belts and Elbow Patches

"If you must be stupid, at least be amusing." -2920: Sun's Dawn - Morrowind

Suddenly vivisection sounds like a splendid idea. -Erik, Point-Blank, keire_ke

Or: an AU where USA and Russia do not suddenly have a collective case of stupid by firing missiles at people who can lift submarines out of the water -manic_intent, on First Class

Chris Claremont's 2004 Excalibur series was basically incoherent "plotty" bits interspersed with adorable domestic Charles/Magnus moments. -Tv Tropes

In Evolution, it's played way down, due to Evolution being aimed at teenagers, a group who on average don't seem to think folks over the age of 25 are exactly people. -ship_manifesto, lj

"Is 'The Iron Lady' worth seeing?"
"I thought it was a sequel to Iron Man, where he gets a wife or something. 2/10" -People I know

Americans think "autism" means "Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters." -Cracked.com

Steve has remained a basically upbeat, positive person (save for the brief periods when Tony left the Avengers and Steve sulked and whined and declared that he wished they'd left him in the ice). -Steve Rogers/Tony Stark ship manifesto

Furthermore, it's an adaptation of comics lore, and that ensures the attention of an entire planet of obsessive, dedicated enthusiasts with epic expectations. (Actually, development on The Avengers production is probably being intensely scrutinized by the geek population of several planets, alongside a multitude of fictional universes, alternate dimensions and meta-realities.) -James Clayton, the James Clayton Column

So in the movie, Tony Stark, head of Stark Industries, is a powerful genius billionaire industrialist sex-magnet. Apparently that's not enough for him, so he decides to add 'superhero' to the list as well. -Tv Tropes

Also, if his early relationship with Peter Parker was supposed to be paternal, it was the sort of paternal that gets you arrested. -Tv Tropes, on Norman Osborn

Perry actually doesplant a big one on Harry to fool a passerby (or if you prefer, Batman planted one on Iron Man). -Tv Tropes, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Because, as it would seem, Captain America was completely allergic to his own happiness. -Ennex, In Which Loki is Having None of This Bullshit (or Where Loki Plays Matchmaker), AO3

Also it is "I'm looking for a man in a checkered coat" BECAUSE HE SHOT ME IN THE FACE, not because he wants to spread goodwill and harmony across the wasteland. -DocConrad, No Mutants Allowed

*NOTE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT KIND*
Um, completely disregarding what I said before, it turns out I'm far too lazy to post an update on every story saying it's discontinued, so I'm just saying it here.
They're discontinued.
Sorry.