Hello, I welcome those who have dared to enter my lair of lunacy. Indeed, your curiosity shall be rewarded... With death! Well, not actually. Indeed, your curious level of inadequate common-sense shall actually be rewarded by a very gracious reception by this review-starved author. Although I'm an accomplished author in other areas, and I'm currently working on TWO novels, I've never submitted anything to ff.net, but that's about to change.

Although I highly disapprove of their most recent, and highly fascist, policies, I still support the large amounts of freedoms granted authors on this site, when compared to many others. The infinite uploads, for example. On stories.com, where I'm also archived (guess which author I am...), the upload limit is fifteen, unless you contribute to their site... Now that's capitalist domination.

Although my favorite anime is Noir, I refuse to write any fanfiction about it. Why is that, you ask? It's very simple; I don't wish to potentially desecrate it. That's also why I never wrote fanfiction for Neon Genesis Evangelion, even though I had hundreds, if not thousands, of ideas for pieces. I realize that this obstinance could be depriving my loving and devoted (snigger) fans of some incredible (snigger... Was that an echo?) work, but I simply refuse. Sorry. I'm actually writing something completely out of my element: Resident Evil. After perusing the section, and finding so many conventional romance pieces, I'm now writing a short that's incredibly obscure and odd. You'll just have to wait and see...

Aha, I have finally finished the 'RebeccaxWesker' pieces... I can quite honestly say that those expecting a pleasant resolution to the matter might be a bit disappointed, but the ending is poignant, nonetheless...

Additionally, my next work, Outbreak, which involves mostly original characters, is now in progress. It should evolve into a sweeping, novel-length narrative. In any case, enjoy my works, but take a deep breath before you enter my dominion of lunacy... You may never return.

I'm sure that, by this point, you're absolutely sick of reading my rambling prattle... Guess what! I'm not tired of writing it, since I'm still desperately trying to peck out chapter five of "Outbreak."

After almost a year, I've finally decided to break my silence about the sundry facets of my obviously-unstable persona...

For one, I'm genderless- not literally, but I find it to be of little or not consequence just what sex a person is; it's their mind that's of significance, especially in an abstract, ethereal world such as the internet. If you're really interested in knowing, you could contact me at awj05@msn.com (my listed one is obsolete, yet I stil refuse to change it-my own capitulation to superstition)... If you do end up doing that, however, realize that your sanity will also be seriously in doubt; just a warning.

As for my age, suffice to say that I'm not yet at the age where I'd be allowed to smoke or drink, but I can drive now in my awful country... Vague enough yet? Oddly enough, I'm a college student, so I'm legally entitled to the right to deliberately subject myself to hours upon hours of torment, yet I can't even vote for the pandering politician of my choice.

Hmm... Occupation? That's a popular category. I sell illicit materials and write papers and stories for people too lazy to do it themselves; it's pretty lucrative, but don't even think of asking for a loan.

Favorite video games? Resident Evil, particularly the first, Zero, and CV; Metal Gear Solid, both the first and second, though the first is better; the entire Alone in the Dark series, which is the origin of survival horror; Silent Hill 1, since 2 was rancid; Soldier of Fortune 1 and 2; Half Life; Post Mortem; the 'Mechwarrior Series; and the Front Mission series, as though you couldn't have guessed that.

Films, films, films... God, I must be desperate to escape this persistently blinking cursor on MS Word right now... Big Trouble, Resident Evil, The Godfather, Lost and Delirious, But I'm a Cheerleader, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, Daria: Is it Fall Yet? and Daria: Is it College Yet?, End of Evangelion, the Connery series of James Bond films, and... Oh, bloody hell, many, many more. I really need to get back to "Outbreak" to torment all of those with weak stomachs or those that just loathe my writing...

Television Series? Well, since most suck nowadays, this should be short... Daria, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Noir, Cowboy Bebop, Zeta Gundam, Gunsmoke, Home Improvement, Seinfeld, the old Frasiers, Stargate: SG1, The X-Files, Charmed (it's a stupid, guilty pleasure of mine...), The Twilight Zone, and Dilbert (let us take a moment of silence to honor the losses of some many good, bored office drones...).

Books? Yeah, people, get something to drink... It may be awhile before I resume my increasingly-twisted novel. The Resident Evil novelizations are great... Let's see, aside from that, I delight in the James Bond novels, just about every Charles Dickens book, though Great Expectations was my favorite; Gulliver's Travels, and Swift's other satirical essays; Paradise Lost, and, in the same vein, Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradisio; Homer's Illiad and Odessey; Virgil's Aeniad; Ovid's Metamorphosis and Orpheus in the Underworld; The Republic of Plato and his other works; The Prince (Machiavelli is my idol... So sue me); Mark Twain's various books; Scott Adams' satirical Dilbert works (my mother's an evergreen in a cubical farm... Maybe a cubical forest, so that this weird metaphor works... I have an appreciation for just how demented it is); Beowulf and many different Norse works; Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, along with his collaboration with Neil Gaiman, Good Omens; and, at long last, the final book on this too-long list... Dracula. Bah, so I'm a sucker (see how many get the pun...) for poorly-disguised sexuality in a highly-repressed Victorian setting.

I suppose that's all for now, since sleep has probably supplanted your all-consuming desire to finish this...