The Loyal Integra Fanboy welcomes you to his profile page, with gratitude at having deemed him interesting and worthy enough of your attention.

LATEST DEVELOPMENTS:

15 Jan 2013

Holy crap, where have I been!? In a nutshell, I've been around the world twice, been promoted, married and now expecting a baby, due in July this year.

It's been so nice to see my fics still getting reviews, despite being written nearly eight years ago. Reading my own fics back to myself has given me the brio to return, soon(ish) to the fold, strictly Hellsing mind, although I am toying with the idea of something NGE. I promise to return, but "Pain in the Neck" is done for. Allow the cliffhanger to hang forever, because I have to admit I painted myself into a corner with that one. I say we nuke the site from orbit; it's the only way to be sure. Or perhaps, a nice fresh new fic...

06 June '09

Yes, it's been a long time since I have appeared on the scene, and I know that my stories have still been getting some attention. I have been kept posted on reader activity over the last four years. I have not forgotten you! I've just been terribly busy saving the planet from tyranny and oppression; you know how time consuming that can be. Not to mention moving house and a severe case of writer's block. Currently serving with the Royal Navy in Manama, Bahrain, due to return triumphantly in July, so I will be back with a story or two soon. Stay tuned!

24 July '05:

Being somewhat annoyed with the fact the New Story facility still won't work, thus preventing me from submitting new fics, I have created a brand new website for all upcoming new stories. Not only will it feature my writing, I will also showcase that of anyone who wishes to submit their fics for publication, completely free, and copy protected to boot. Think of it as my C2 but more customised. In future it will also feature Hellsing news and notices. Also it includes links back to ff.net and my LJ, among others.

Visit Hellsing Fanfic

02 July '05:
Unfortunately there will be no more new fics from me due to problems with the New Story facility at my end. It doesn't seem to work, so therefore I will have to wait until such a time as the problem is fixed, or I find another computer which doesn't have problems with the net. Watch this space for further news.

Loyal Integra Fanboy also goes by the human title of Craig Jenkins, of the Jenkins clan of a sleepy little town outside Portsmouth, England; Now residing in the metropolis of Gunwharf Quays. Tired of his decadent existence, which consisted of the unexciting daily activities of being fed strawberries by throngs of buxom, nubile nymphs, stretched out on a satin bed, and drinking intoxicating liquor from the fountains in his huge Eden-esque grounds; he set out for pastures new with the Royal Navy, choosing to live a humble life, getting oily and sweaty working with engines and other such contraptions on a warship, and travelling to ports of lands far away, meeting many strange and mythical beasts. It has been three years since his quest began. His beautiful, sexy girlfriend, a goddess named Sophie, waits anxiously for him to return home safely from each epic voyage, and she greets him with heavenly gifts of gold, cheese toasties, and pleasures of the flesh on his return. Sophie leads a double existence, on one hand attending college, and on the other posing as a vengeful vampire hunter in upcoming Hellsing fics... this is true.

To keep from going insane through seasickness, and to distract himself from the siren song out on the ocean, he writes fan fiction for that, the mightiest and hoopiest (Hitch hikers guide fans will give the definition of 'hoopy') of animes, Hellsing. Alas, his experience of the divine anime has yet to be improved, having only watched the series once through, on a DVD once relinquished to him by his shipmate, a lesser god of the name of Chez. But his love for all that was Hellsing was piqued as was his desire for the beautiful (yet not as beautiful as goddess Sophie)and domineering queen of the damned, Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. The Loyal Integra Fanboy wishes to seek assistance from the Oracle, who in her present incarnation goes by the name of Amazon.com, a name of unclear origin, to garner more knowledge and thusly more love for all that is Hellsing.

The Loyal Integra Fanboy is a stunning creature, standing at just under six feet tall, brown hair and eyes, and three days worth of facial hair growth at the time of update. His prescence has been felt on this earth for over 26 years, and will celebrate the 27th anniversary of his deliverance to the mortal world on the 12th of May, 2010

The L.I.F - What makes him tick?

L.I.F enjoys many earthly things in addition to Hellsing. He indulges in the arts of drinking, smoking, and pleasures of the flesh with the goddess Sophie. But sometimes he reads books.

Favourite Books:

To Kill a Mockingbird
1984
Catch-22 (current read)
The Lost World
Jurassic Park
The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy

But there are occasions upon which he will venture to the place with the enchanted wall, and watch the people that reside within it, through the large rectangular portal. Sometimes he will eat popcorn while doing this.

Favourite Movies

Blade Runner
War of the Worlds
The Fifth Element
Garden State
Star Wars II, III, IV, V and VI (Episode I sucked)
Sin City (of bloody course!)
Taxi Driver
The Big Blue
The Fifth Element
The Ring / The Ring Two
Ghostbusters

Though he does not understand its power, or how the little people manage to play their instruments inside the contraption, L.I.F does enjoy the music that emanates from the so-called Discman.

Favourite Music

The Beatles
Pink Floyd
Graham Coxon
Godspeed You! Black Emperor
R.E.M
Metallica
Bloc Party
Rufus Wainwright
Maroon 5
Green Day
Evanescence
Yasushi Ishii (any Hellsing fan worth his salt should like this guy)

Profile written by The Loyal Integra Fanboy's Fanboy. I don't get out much...

Feedback on The Loyal Integra Fanboy's Fanfic.

The L.I.F would like to express deep thanks and gratitude for all the kind reviews on his posted fanfic. He promises he will endeavour to get in touch with all those who have sent reviews. He would also like to tell you that he equally accepts criticism, and any constructive comments you may have on his work will be taken into account, for the more kind help he gets on improving his fics are also gratefully accepted. Also feel free to pose suggestions for Sophie, the character he has created in honor of the great goddess Sophie (the girlfriend, aww), whom he has introduced into the world of Hellsing (gaps in history are so good for this!). If you spot any OOCness with existing Hellsing characters, please notify the L.I.F, and steps will be taken to rectify these mistakes - uh, as soon as he figures out how to update and edit posted material (such a clutz on the computer!). Any guidance involving such procedures will be helpful as the L.I.F is still so very new to this community, and hopes you continue to welcome him with open arms. He hopes to continue posting his latest fanfics, as much as he can. With being in harbour lately, he has been able to update frequently, however, these updates will be fewer and further between, upon going to sea (he'll be much too busy at work, shame) so expect long periods of absence followed by a great influx of fics all at once. If you would like to keep up to date, and you like his previous works, please do add him to your Author Alert to receive joyous news of his return.

The L.I.F thanks you again for taking the time to view his profile. It pleases him so.

A brief footnote:

Apologies, dear ff.net readers for the awful Sophie III fic. I do not feel shame for the first two fics, because I took the opportunity to add an OC who could be related to Integra (but not as a 'lost relative' like brother/sister/father back from the dead etc...) using the vague space of time between the time Integra was a child and the 'present day' of Hellsing. Yes, I admit that Sophie is a complete Mary Sue. But I liked introducing her to the story (see 'Sophie' below) and establishing a back story (see 'Sophie II') and I hope I did it rather well.

BUT 'SOPHIE III' was an inexcusable pile of self gratifying awfulness, similar to the ridiculous character assassination that Hollywood does a lot (just watch that alleged 'Thunderbirds' movie, which literally bases itself on two minor characters and one pathetic OC - 'son of Brains') and I cannot excuse it. I may remove it sometime. Also Alucard was somewhat OOC and Seras was more pathetic and girly than ever. Pah.

I know I am in agreement with many authors here when I say that there are a few things I will not entertain doing (with the exception of that aforementioned fic - dammit)

Total OOCness.

Killing off major characters (and worse still, replacing them with OC's)

Gratuitous (but I do mean gratuitous) love scenes between characters. Hellsing is not a romance. But it can creep in subtly and tastefully for plot needs.

I am however, all in favour of new ideas and stuff like that. OCs are good if done correctly and fit in to the Hellsing universe.