Draco's parents are trying to force him to marry – just because of some stupid family curse – but Draco isn't willing to settle for second best. After rejecting one suitor too many, he's handfasted to a stinky and ragged minstrel and sent off without a Knut to his name. HPDM fairytale remix (King Thrushbeard), written for 2014 HD Smoochfest. Complete.