hi im 19 and ive been reading fan-fiction for a long time and i hope to be reading for a long time coming

i love reading harry potter and NCIS.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.
I am the girl that people look through when I say something.
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: theblackrose101, Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13., Slytherin Queen 1.30, Paramore Fanatic 13, Ziva-Tony-TIVA, Elianna silvertread

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile and add your name: theblackrose101, Emerald Princess 14, StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey, NarnianLady, KingdomHeartsNerd, TohruROX2221, Slytherin Queen 1.03, Paramore Fanatic 13, Ziva-Tony-TIVA, elianna silvertread

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you think that Fan fiction absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this to your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character died/almost died, copy and paste this into your profile

If fanfiction is to you what myspace is to other people, copy and paste this in to your profile.

God created boys before girls because every true artist creates a rough draft before a masterpiece.

95 of people would go nuts if Edward Cullen jumped off a building.
4 would yell JUMP.
If you are the 1 that would push him, copy this and paste it and put it on your profile

If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then let everyone else wonder how you did it." -unknown

"What girls don't seem to know: If a guy acts like he hates you, chances are he likes you. What guys don't seem to know: If a girl acts like she hates you, chances are she hates you."

"Go ahead and talk about me behind my back, but I have advice for you. Click your heels together and say: 'I NEED A LIFE!'"

"They say 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people." -unknown

When life gives you skittles, throw them at your enemy and scream "Taste the rainbow, you b-tch!!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

"Is everyone up there as STUPID as you?!" - LJ Gibbs

"When you look at me like that, McGee, I get this over-whelming urge to head slap you."- LJ Gibbs

" Dinozzo, was there something in my tone of voice that made that sound like a suggestion?"- LJ Gibbs

"Josh: An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
Tony: Which leaves you with a bunch of toothless blind people."

"Fornell: And people say we're bastards.
Gibbs: Only because they know us."

"Tony: Gibbs'll get in. He's got clearance that'll let him see the dead aliens buried in Area 51.
Kate: Because he probably killed them"

"Gibbs-You know me Duck. I suspect everything
Ducky-That's an admirable trait in an investigator. It's also why your three marrages failed.
Gibbs- And all these years I thought it was because I was a bastard.
Ducky- Well, that didn't help any either."

"A slap in the face is humiliating, but a slap to the back of the head is a wake up call"- LJ Gibbs

"Abby- Reporting for duty as ordered sir!
Gibbs- Wrong hand Abbs
Abby- Sorry sir!
Gibbs- (talks about case...)
Abby- Permission to speak freely sir!
Giibbs- You always speak freely Abbs
Abby- I know I just always wanted to say that..."
Abby- Thank you sir
Gibbs- Dont call me sir
Abby- Thank you ma'am"

"Tony: What is with the Germans and the alphabet thing? BMW, BMG, BASF - and they're all B's.
Gibbs: I'm resisting the urge to say cut the BS."

"DiNozzo: "If I get anthrax, how will you feel?"
Gibbs: "Not as bad as you, DiNozzo."

"Abby: You're getting sneakier the older you get.
Gibbs: Not to mention better looking

Be Against Abortion!

Month One

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus’ arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, please re-post this. It could convice someone else too. :)

"Try Not To Cry"

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!"

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain, a best friend takes yours and say, "RUN, FOOL , RUN!" if you agree, post this on your profile.

If you ever ran into a clear door like those birds in that window cleaning comercial, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this into your profile

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.s

If you've ever fallen going UP the stairs, put this in your profile.

If you act like a moron and don't care who sees you, post this in your profile.

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. . If you agree, copy this into your profile, and add your name to the list: Randy Taylor, Home Improvement Lover, seddierox13, BellaCarlieCullen67,elianna silvertread,

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If there are times when you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have a tendancy to talk to yourself, copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever crashed into a wall while on a sugar high, copy this into your profile.

Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, copy this into your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you aren't, copy this into your profile.

If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile and add your name to this list: WaddleDeeAnarchy, mossheart1235

95 of the kids out there are concerned with being popular or fitting in. If you are part of the 5 who aren't, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactively Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, RitzCrackerKitty, WindOfDancingFlames, Jinzouningen Kitchi, animatedrose, KCSonic113, WaddleDeeAnarchy, mossheart1235, ziva-tony-TIVA, elianna silvertread

If you've been on the computer for hours on end and read numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Ravenstar-of-ShodowClan, HeartBeatFailure-x, animatedrose, KCSonic113,WaddleDeeAnarchy, mossheart1235,ziva-tony-TIVA, elianna silvertread

The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I'm sick I'm BLACK, when I go into the sun I'm BLACK, when I'm cold I'm BLACK, when I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK, when you grow up you're WHITE, when you're sick, you're GREEN, when you go in the sun you turn RED, when you're cold you turn BLUE and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me coloured? Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile!

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would sigh and say: "where to begin?"

If you think TV golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

R.I.P.- Cedric Diggory, Sirius Black, Albus Dumbledore, James Potter, Lily Potter, Alastor Moody, Hedwig, Dobby, Colin Creevy, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, and Fred Weasley. They will never be forgotten.

If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were 11, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you spend a lot of time wishing Hogwarts existed, copy and paste this into your account

Things to do in a shop when you are bored.

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things

Things To Ponder:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

Some favorite (and completely weirdo) sayings:

I write for the same reason that I breath. . . because if I didn't then I would die.
I had a thought but it got lonely and went away.
Money talks and mine says "Good-bye."
Went into the grinder and came out as hair
Touch it and see if it's hot (you just had to be there for that one)
It's okay to talk to yourself, it's okay to ask yourself questions, it's even okay to answer those questions. Just don't ever ask yourself a question and then go "huh?"
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Don't spend money you don't have cause at some point they're going to want it and you're still not going to have it.
A friend will bail you out of jail at two o'clock in the morning but a true friend will be sitting in the cell beside you saying "Damn that was fun!"
A friend will help you move but a true friend will help you move a body
Due to the worsening of the economy the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off.
I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
My train of thought got derailed.
If someone gave you half a brain, you'd still only have half a brain.
All things in the world are mind over matter; if you don't mind then it doesn't matter.
Close only counts in horseshoes and handgrenades.
Most people have a filter between their brain and their mouth that tells them when they shouldn't say something. Me, not so much
Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip again.
I tried to keep an open mind but my brains kept falling out
The more things change, the more things remain. . . insane.
You have hate mail. . . you have more hate mail. . . your hate mailbox is full. (occassionably Disney comes up with some real winners.)
Knowledge is power. . . power corrupts. . . study hard. . . BE EVIL!
Your talking is getting in the way of my telling you to shut up.
I'm in hillbilly hell! My IQ is dropping by the second! I'm becoming one of them!
Why is the rum gone?!
'Stress' A condition brought on by over riding the body's desire to kick someone's ass.
Always glad to inadvertantly inspire genius.

((Last Christmas I lost my Gramps, followed shortly by my Grandmother a week before her birthday *which strangely enough was Valentine's Day* so if some of my fics are crazy, deal with it. It's how I cope))

Argh! There are WAAAY too many HP/Twilight crossovers! GET OVER NEW MOON PEOPLE! THE ENTIRE SERIES SUCKED! AND YES, I HAVE READ THEM ALL! *GO TEAM JACOB! KICK THAT SPARKLEPIRE'S ARSE!!!!!!*

The Twilight saga sucked end of story. And who came up with that almost-impossible-to pronounce name like Renesme?!

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. Anime, video games, cartoons, comics, you name it...

I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.

If you are a Gaara Fanatic copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you ever suffered from FanFiction withdraw copy this into your profile!

If you think Orochimaru is what you get when Michael Jackson and Voldemort have unprotected sex, C&P this into your profile.

All the good men in this world are either gay, taken, or fictional charaters. Copy if true. It's not fair...-sob-

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. In class, all the time!

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the population would die if Johnny Depp said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy this onto your profile if you would be one of the 2 percent that is laughing your ass off.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever considered going to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile.

If your family wonders how you can remember all the naruto character's names, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

Doing homework sucks. Copy and paste this into your profile if you agree.

LOL

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

Love the stupidity and randomness. NOW

QUOTES TO LIVE BY

1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

14.) Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head

19.) "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

21.) Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Guns don't kill people. I do.

My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

30.) flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

31.) Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

32.) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

33.) The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

34.) Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have.

39.) Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

42.) Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

46.) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

48.) I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow

To put it nicely, I hope you choke.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

56.) You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

57.) Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

58.) A day without sunshine is like... night.

59.) A rejected invention: Instant water! just add water!

60.) Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot

61.) Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!

62.) Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

63.) I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

64.) I do what cheerios tell me.

65.) I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.

66.) I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you!

67.) I'm knocking on heaven's door.. voice in back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me: That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that...

68.) If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.

69.) My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...

70.) Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.

72.) Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my freinds, well...We've gone pro.

Kitty!

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
signature to help him gain world domination

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l , ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

The Phoenix, the phoenix is a creature that symbolizes prophetic wisdom, death, and rebirth. This Majestic patronus soars onto the field blanketing your foes in fire and causing devastation to all that oppose it. You should be honored to receive this magical creature as your patronus!

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