Hey ;)

Name: Riptide246

Gender: Female

Occupation: School?

Favorite Food: Steak

Godly Parent: Apollo or Poseidon (Can't decide, both are awesome)

Greek or Roman: Definitely Greek

PERCY JACKSON PLEDGE:
I promise to remember Percy
whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says "free pony ride"
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
Yes, I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go
So all may see my obsession
because I know what the Olympians know!to the top

Perseus Jackson.Savior of Olympus.
Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.
Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.
Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle.
Yellow duffel bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.
Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.
Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.
Chiron. Trainer of heroes.
Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.
Son of Neptune. The book we can't wait for.
Olympus. Home of the gods.
Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's not getting her revenge on his death.
Atlas. Zoe's father.
Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.
Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)
Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.
Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)
Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.
Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.
Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about.
Years. Percy took 4 years to gain the courage to ask out Annabeth
Morpheus. The gods of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.
Persephone. The kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.
Illiterates. Many kids believe some of the demigods are illiterates.
Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia
Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.
Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Legion Camp.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top

Funny Quotes People Say:

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Your laughing now because your older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

One day we will look back at this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

The tooth fairy teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts.

Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

God created man-THEN had a better idea!

Your year book picture still haunts me.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you?

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh,he just took a wrong turn,got lost,and is to stubborn to ask directions.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Jogging is a slow sprinting, Coach!

If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean they all have to?

I have CDO. It's like OCD but all of the letters are in alphabetical order...like they should be.

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Jesus saves. Passes to Moses, he shoots, he scores!!!

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh harder.

A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun!"

They never suspect the short one.

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia?

I've used up all of my sick days so I'm calling in dead.

People who don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was.

I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face.

You're a great friend, but if the zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S...tell your friends.

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking

The below statement is true

The above statement is false

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them as much

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Five tequila, six tequila, lock the jail door!

I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!

Hey stupid! Your sock is untied...

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Ever notice that studying is "student" and "dying" put together?

Procrastinators; the leaders of tomorrow.

Tu madre. You just got burned in Spanish.

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

It's okay Pluto. I'm not a planet either.

Ever wonder why bologna and lasagna don't rhyme?

If people were all meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.

Wanna hear a joke? ...Miley Cyrus.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicated. Haven't they met themselves?

Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Pretty deep huh?

Making us all wish we were blind: Speedo.

Worst time to have a heart attack; during a game of charades.

If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you.

I ROCK! Guitar hero told me.

There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves.

I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

Hell is full of musical amateurs

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

-Sticks hand in electric box- CHIDORI!!

Retreating! Hell no, we're just attacking in a different direction.

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

God must love stupid people...he made so many

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch.0

Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.

I have a dream and in it, something eats you.

Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.

Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.

If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.

I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words

Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1?

I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.

By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life

I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday

Hi! I'm human. What're you?

Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass!

Life is like a circle. No wonder I'm so dizzy.

Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet

Boys break our hearts, so why don't we break their necks?

When they laugh, we'll laugh along too. Because we know better. We know.

I wanted to send you something SEXY... but the mail man told me to get out of the mail box...

I'm NOT SHORT!! ... I'm fun sized!

Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses!

When you call us BITCHES we just look at each other and crack up, because we knew that WAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOU DID!

Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars and thought to myself, WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?

Am I pissing you off-fa-fa?

I have the kind of friends where if my house was burning down, they'd be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen! (Yeah and they probably started it too..)

RAWR!! That means I love you in dinosaur!

Its not that I'm not a “people person”... its just that I'm not a “stupid people person”.

I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not b... aw who am I kidding!

Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to hell?

HELL- Where all the fun people end up!

She's the kind of woman that when her feet hit the floor each morning the devil says “Oh crap she's up!”

They keep saying the right person will come along... I think a truck hit mine!

Only You!... Can help me hide the bodies!

I'm smiling cause I'm your sister, I'm laughing cause there's nothing you can do about it!

If you are what you eat, then cannibals are the only humans.

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright.

10 years. Trillions of dollars. Thousands of soldiers dead. State of the art technology. The US finally found Bin Laden... In his house.

Dear America, Since you released upon us the horror that is Miley Cyrus (I actually like her a bit but I thought this was funny) , we have decided to retaliate. Its name is Justin Bieber (His songs are OK but I hate him.) and no-one will be spared. Yours faithfully, Canada.

When I die, friends will go to my funeral, good friends will cry at my funeral, but my best friend will change my Facebook status to "Chillin' with Jesus"

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

I'm not random, I'm just HEY LOOK A SQUIRREL!

"To be is to do" Socrates

"To do is to be" Sartre

"Do be do be do." Sinatra

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

We're so cool ice cubes are jealous.

I'm not as random as you think I salad.

On a scale of 1 to crazy I'm a penguin.

At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Pretty deep huh?

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Hey you! Yeah you! No, not you, the other guy. You right there! Do you like tacos?

Worst time to have a heart attack; during a game of charades.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Be yourself. That's crazy enough.

You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music

How come when you mix water with flour, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

I believe you should live each day as if it were your last, which is why I don't do my laundry. I mean, come on, who would wanna wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would you keep looking after you found it?

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

When your down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you.

Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - It's the stupid ones that need the advice.

When I die, I'm going to haunt the HELL out of you people!

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Oh? Paper beats rock? Okay, you try defending yourself with paper when I throw a rock at you.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

One night, I looked up into the sky. I began counting the reasons why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars.

By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life.

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

Don't attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of 'smart'.

He who laughs last thinks the slowest.

Its you and me versus the world, we attack at dawn.

You know the saying 'curiosity killed the cat', I'm curiosity and you're the cat.

Real friends don't let you do stupid things...alone.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel, of course it's usually an oncoming express train.

The dinosaurs extinction was not an accident, Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them.

Maturity is overrated.

You shouldn't think so much. It'll strain your poor wittle bwain.

Letting your mind wander isn't a good idea because it'll get lost.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

I don't like Morning People... or Mornings... or People.

Why are Monday's so far from Friday's and Friday's are so close to Monday's?

If you fall, I'll be there for you -floor.

Raisin Cookies that look like Chocolate Chip Cookies are the main reason I have Trust Issues.

I'm still waiting for the day where I will actually use Math in real life.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I didn't trip. I was just testing gravity... It still works.

Dear Homework, you are unattractive; therefore, I cannot do you.

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

I'm the the type of person that can watch tons of horror movies and not get scared but will scream at the top of my lungs when the toast pops out of the toaster.

I'm on a diet. I only eat chocolate on days that end with 'y'

Always be positive *trips down the stairs* Whew I got down those stairs fast.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me:)

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

My life is all math. I'm trying to add my income, subtract my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.

I don't like morning people... or mornings... or people.

Sleeping is my drug. My bed is my dealer. And my alarm clock is the police.

The police are looking for a suspect described as sexy, funny, and great in bed. Your ugly ass is safe, but where should I hide.

A man came to my door and asked if I could donate to the local swimming pool, so I came back with a glass of water.

Stop complaining about being single... We have bigger problems here, like how McDonald's doesn't serve breakfast after 10:30

I could be a morning person... If mornings happened around noon.

'Let's eat Grandma' or 'Let's eat, Grandma'- Punctuation saves lives.

A panda eats, shoots, and leaves... Or... A panda eats shoots and leaves. YOU'VE GOTTA' LOVE GRAMMAR!!

Dear bullies,

See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he Talked his friend out of suicide. See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. See that girl you made fun of for wearing lots of make-up? Her abusive boyfriend is telling her she looks ugly without it.

Re-Post this if you are against bullying. I bet 94% of you won't. Your life would probably not be as harsh as theirs

Annoying things to do on an elevator:p

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) WHEN there's people in the elevator, look around and say "I must find a new host body" in a creepy voice

List your top ten favourite PJO characters in no particular order.

1. Annabeth

2. Percy

3.Tyson

4.Thalia

5.Artemis

6.Leo

7.Grover

8.Rachel

9.Nico

10.Piper

1. Have you read a five/ten fic before?

NEVER HAVE NEVER WILL.

2. Do you think three is hot? How hot?

Yes Definitely! Only one eye is HAWT.

3. What would happen if six got one pregnant?

Leo and Annabeth? Annabeth would pick Leo up and throw him off of a cliff before she let that EVER happen. But if it did, Percy would murder Leo...

4. Do you recall any good fics about nine?

Yep

5. Would seven and two make a good couple?

This is getting really awkward really fast...

6. Four/eight or four/nine?

THALIA AND NICO OVER THALIA AND RACHEL:p

7. What would happen if seven discovered three and eight in a secret relationship?

Grover discover Tyson and Rachel? I think he might advise them to go to the mental institution.

8. Make a summary of at least twenty words for a two/six fic .

Leo accidentally catches the forest on fire! Will Percy be able to get there in time to put it out? Or will the camp burn?

9. Is there such a thing as a four/ten romantic fluff story?

I hope not.

10. Suggest a title for a one/five Hurt/Comfort fic.

Sanctuary. Percy dies and Annabeth never vows to fall in love with another man for him. So she falls for Artemis" GROSS THAT IS JUST SO WRONG "

11. What kind of plot would you use if four wanted to kiss one?

Thalia was very very very drunk. Let's just say that.

12. If you wrote a songfic about number ten, what song would you chose?

You Don't Know Your Beautiful by One Direction

13. Four is in a happy relationship with Nine, until Nine runs off to marry Five. Four is in a brief, unhappy relationship with Eight until Eight cheats on Four with Two. Four finally takes the advice of One and settles into a happy relationship with Three

Thalia is in a happy relationship with Nico, until Nico runs off to marry Artemis. Thalia is in a brief, unhappy relationship with Rachel until Rachel cheats on Thalia with Percy. Thalia finally takes Annabeth's advice and settles in a happy relationship with Tyson.

You want to know what I think? That I just plain wrong!!!

Month One-

Mommy. I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs.The sound of your heart beat is my lullaby.

-Month Two-

Mommy. Today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely see I'm a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm here.

-Month Three-

You know what Mommy? I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry too even though you can't hear me.

-Month Four-

Mommy. My hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

-Month Five-

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

-Month Six-

I can hear the doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns!! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy, help me!!

-Month Seven-

Mommy. I am okay. I am in Jesus' arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? What did I do wrong?

Every abortion is just...

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

Please if anyone out there is really thinking about abortion, please think again.

If you don't want the child, send it to be adopted, so it can find someone who will really love it

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

Just remember to be thankful for the little things, because one day they may no longer be there.

25 Things I owe to my Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

Lady Gaga taught me it’s okay to be different.

Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks.

Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I love.

Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through.

Taylor Swift taught me not every guy is going to treat me right.

Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me.

Music taught me how to live.

BUT

Most importantly, Rebecca Black taught me the days of the week!

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it!!!

If 1D was about to jump off a cliff, 99.5% of girls would be crying their eyes out and screaming "DON'T DO IT!!!" But I would be a part of the other 0.5% that would be screaming and jumping on the couch with excitement with a bowl of popcorn at hand saying "JUMP JUMP JUMP!!!" Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are that 0.5%.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3

Olny fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. If you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR IS SANG TO THE SAME TUNE AS THE ALPHABET...copy this onto your profile if you just sang it in your head to see if its true.

If you can read this, you are blessed. Over two million people could not finish this.

Copy and Paste this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart (It touched mine. So I posted it.)

15 THINGS TO DO AT WALMART

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things

Female Comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost

this...

If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose: me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her, grabs her shoulder,turns her around, looks into her eyes, and says:

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

He then leaned down slowly and pressed his lips to hers.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

Try Not To Cry

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good boy, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Brittany; my girlfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Brittany, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

So, Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry and remember how blessed they truly are,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Repost This!!!