Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Finally updated my profile! I'm going to start writing again. Or trying to. Check out Tomatita!

Favorite Quotes!

-The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lay down on some seaweed and roll around in it until he's completely draped in it. Then he'll stand up and go hey, I'm Vine Man.
-- Jack Handey

-My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone

-Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
-Slinky Escalator = Endless fun
-I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.
-The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
...-When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.
-Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.
-They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
-You are depriving some village of an idiot.
-Come to the dark side, we have cookies!
-Aw, did I just step on your poor itty-bitty little ego?
-I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
-Chaos, panic and disorder... Well, my work here is done.
-Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
-Don't take life too seriously - No one gets out alive.
-I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.
-- Ronald Reagan
-If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
-- George Carlin
-I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
-- Fred Allen
-A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
-- Burt Bacharach
-Man, of all the animals, is probably the only one to regard himself as a great delicacy.
-- Jacques Cousteau
-Those who cannot remember the past will spend a lot of time looking for their cars in mall parking lots.
-- Jay Trachman
-If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes.
-The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
-- Jerry M. Wright
-If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
-- Flip Wilson
-Travel is educational; it teaches you how to get rid of money in a hurry.
-- S. Barry Lipkin
-My ultimate vocation in life is to be an irritant.
-- Elvis Costello
-You know you're getting older when the candles cost more than the cake.
-- Bob Hope
-Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry
-Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren't very new after all.
-- Abraham Lincoln
-To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.''
-- Rita Rudner
-You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
-- Jeff Foxworthy
-Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
-- Jerry Seinfeld
-I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
-- Jack Benny
-Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, age don't matter.
-- Satchel Paige
-Cheer up, the worst is yet to come
-The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards.
--Arthur Koestler
-There never was a good war or a bad peace.
--Benjamin Franklin
-War making doesn't stop war making. If it did, our problems would have stopped millennia ago.
--Colman McCarthy
-The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.
--David Friedman
-Everyone's a pacifist between wars. It's like being a vegetarian between meals.
--Colman McCarthy
-In peace the sons bury their fathers, but in war the fathers bury their sons.
--Croesus
-War is too serious a matter to entrust to military men.
-- Georges Clemenceau
-Religion and science both profess peace (and the sincerity of the professors is not being doubted), but each always turns out to have a dominant part in any war that is going or contemplated.
--Howard Nemerov
-During times of war, hatred becomes quite respectable, even though it has to masquerade often under the guise of patriotism.
--Howard Thurman
-You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
--Jeanette Rankin
-Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
--Isaac Asimov
-The real and lasting victories are those of peace, and not of war.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
-You can't say civilization don't advance -- for in every war, they kill you in a new way.
--Will Rogers

Ok, I totally just stole this from potter-shan-fan (I hope I spelled your name right), But it's dead useful, so herer ya go

Here's a short guide for the newbies to FF. I remember how confused i was whenever i saw AU or OOC, so here you go:

AU= Alternative Universe. The characters are in a different world than in the movie/book/show/whatever. For example, an AU for Twilight could be that all the characters are human, instead of Wolf and Vamps.

Canon= Basically the opposite of AU. The story going along with/continuing what's in the books/movies/shows/whatever, In the same universe.

OC= Original Character. A character that the Fic's writer has made up.

OOC= Out Of Character. The character is acting differently to what you would expect in the book/movie/tv show etc.

a story with only one chapter. Doesn't take a genius then to guess what a twoshot is.

Ships= short form of Relationships

Name a x Name b = a relationship. A and B are in a relationship in this story. Eg. JacobxBella. Could also be Jacob/Bella. Or some weird mix of the two people's names, like Dramione (Draco and Hermione from Harry Potter). OR just the initials: J/B or JxB, or even JB/BS or JBxBS (both initials in the name. Jacob Black)

Lemon= *Cough* basically ... er, stuff to make it Rated M, if you know what I mean ... no? Alright, it means Sex. There's going to be Sex if it says "lemon". There, happy? Don't ask where they came up with the name, I have no idea. And I really don't wanna know.

Slash= same sex relationship (girl/girl or boy/boy)

Yaoi= boy on boy relationship.

That's all I can think of now, but I'm sure there's more. Oh well, I'll add if I think of any.

And just a tip: If there's slight allusions to sex, minor swearing like "shit" and "crap", and/or a bit of kissing, then you're safe to rate it as T.
If you're actually describing the sex, and you frequently use the "F-bomb" or "B!tch", then it's an M rating, you moron!! xD no offense though, of course! Just rate wisely, there are innocent eyes who shouldn't see stuff like that :)