Hi, I'm Elen of the Sapphire Eyes.

Many thanks to my friends Vingle and Kwantum, who have helped me get this far.

A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, put this in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are unconcerned by the dismal state of their education, or the fact that their fanfiction is raping the English language. If you're part of the five percent of fanfiction writers/readers who do care about such things, copy and paste this, and then leave reviews for those poor souls who know not what they do.

Huh. Sanity. What would I do with something as useless as that? Lucky for me I never had any such thing. - Kenpachi Zaraki

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.

Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

No boy is worth crying for, and the one that is won't make you cry. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it." --Unknown

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." --Rich Cook

"Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional." -Unknown

"STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it." -Unknown

"Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak." -Unknown

To the Witch-king: When relying on a prophecy, remember to check the small print.

"Not to worry, we are still flying half a ship." Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

"One does not simply walk into Wal-Mart."

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

"Are you insulting my intelligence!?” "No, I’m insulting your stupidity" - XxRandom NemesisxX

"My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way?"

"Normal"? What is this thing you call "normal"? OMG! Is it contagious? GO AWAY!!! I might catch your "NORMAL"!!!!

Dear Math, Why should I solve your problems? Get a therapist!

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way; wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

All credit for the following goes to Stephen King Reincarnated.

"Normal" is just a setting on the dryer.
Society is constructed to ensure that people can avoid the painful act of thinking.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
What’s up? Any radial vector drawn from a reference planet’s centroid of mass.
If the statement ever turns out to be true, shouldn't we first be thinking of a world where we are not reciprocally destroying each others existences on a whim? At least that should be possible without turning cosmic laws inside out.
Why is it that everyone makes a bee line for the most complicated solution possible here? It's like slitting your wrists with Occam's Razor...or something.
If you think you’re too small to be effective, you’ve never been in the dark with a mosquito.
Being well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society is no measure of mental health.
Why strive to "fit in" if doing so will require me to constantly censor everything I say and dumb myself down to meet the superficial, counterintuitive expectations of an intellectually comatose society?
We were having a philosophical discussion, and I asserted that the only demonstrable reality was individual consciousness, but he insisted on the existence of a priori moral values that transcended free will. So I hit him.
Oh, this strange desire to have everyone look and behave alike. Will we ever be free of it?
And what is it with the brooding? You're a thousand years old. How much time to do you need to adjust to the agony of immortality? Stop it with the teenage angst already. - On vampires.
You have to sit back and be amazed by what humans can accomplish when they really, really want to kill each other.
Honour is a fool’s prize. Glory is of no use to the dead.
“Why is it so damn cold?” “Because Hades had very poor social skills and thought, ‘Dating…abduction…same thing, right?’”
Reading books is educational. And if you read hardbacks, you can hit a bully upside the head with it until he acquires a life-long drooling disorder and has to spell his own name phonetically.
Man, that huge white mass of water that’s been swelling and building for the last thirty seconds and is now finally descending on my ship with all the immovable fury of nature sure does look scary. I wonder if I should go inside? Let’s weigh the pros and cons of that course of action first…
You can win without fighting, but it’s harder to do; the enemy is rarely so cooperative.
You know, I’d love to overthrow the evil government system and turn it into a flaming ball of hellfire as much as the next guy, but do we have to do it now? I mean, I’m busy as hell for the next few days. Plus, it’s snowing outside, and I don’t feel like getting cold and wet while taking down our oppressive overlords.
You wouldn’t believe how much easier it is to be a grown-up than a kid. It is only during childhood that a person is expected to be reasonably adept at everything.
It’s called the gray fallacy. One person says white, another says black, and outside observers assume gray is the truth. The assumption of gray is sloppy, lazy thinking. The fact that one person takes a position that is diametrically opposed to the truth does not then skew reality so the truth is no longer the truth. The truth is still the truth.
If the collective pieces of your anima retain enough cohesion to hear this message, consider yourself fortunate. I was trying to dissipate you entirely.
The thing under my bed waiting to grab my ankle isn’t real. I know that, and I also know that if I’m careful to keep my foot under the covers, it will never be able to grab my ankle.
Alone. Yes, that’s the key word, the most awful word in the English tongue. Murder doesn’t hold a candle to it and hell is only a poor synonym.
I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.
Come on back and we’ll see if you remember the simplest thing of all - how it is to be children, secure in belief and thus afraid of the dark.
Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the sage amongst his books. For to you the Kingdoms and their armies are things mighty and enduring, but to him they are but toys of the moment, to be overturned by the flicking of a finger.
Fire is a fragile lover, court her well, neglect her not; her faith is like a misty smoke, her anger is destructive hot.
Beware the fury of a patient man.
Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that people insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
How much more satisfying to seduce an angel than a villain.

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire,
I’ll hold with those who favour fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate,
To say that for destruction ice,
Is also great,
And would suffice.

-Fire and Ice by Robert Frost

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man. -Oscar Wilde
That leap of logic should have broken his legs. - Janissy
The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness. - Joseph Conrad
Evil is always unspectacular, and always human, and shares our bed, and eats at our table. - W. H. Auden
Out of suffering emerge the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars. - Khalil Gibran
Fairytales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairytales tell children that dragons can be killed. - Gilbert Keith Chesterton
The noir hero is a knight in blood-caked armour. He’s dirty, and he does his best to deny the fact that he’s a hero the whole time. - Frank Miller
Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles. - Mark Twain
Light thinks it travels faster than anything, but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always gotten there first, and is waiting for it. - Terry Pratchett
No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks. - Mary Wollstonecraft
We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet. - Stephen Hawking