Name: Look in the phonebook

Age: Between 1 and 100

Gender: Check the penname

Likes: Friends, family, books, art, band, bowling, music, and marching

Hates: Preps, Justien Biber, One direction, running, people i dont know, and people touching me when i dont want them too.

Music: Flyleaf, eveanesecene, and all country singers

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your a* off.

If there are times where you just want to annoy people for the heck of it, copy and paste this on you profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet (or dead silent) room, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are crazy, odd,not-normal, a freak of nature, or anything else that applies, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you look like anyone from a movie or book, copy and paste this to your profile, add your name to the list, and then add the character's name in Italic. XxXRockPrincess2894XxX Brenda Song

If you have ever seen an adult act like a gangsta or use slang and were freaked out, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews for one of your stories, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, illegal dog fights, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile

If you believe in magic, copy this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you have ever want to scream to the world that you hate/like someone copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have answered a question by saying "Penguins" when penguins had NOTHING to do with what you were talking about, copy this into you're profile.

If you have ever spent more than six hours straight on the computer then copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a random song pop into your head at the most completely and utter worst time but you sing it anyway copy this into your profile.

If you have no grip on reality whatsoever, copy this to your profile. The nerd brigade thanks you.

If you've stubbed your toe more then 6 times today copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever taped your fingers together because you were bored out of your mind and then couldn't get them apart copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.

If you ran down an "Up" escalator, copy this into your profile

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen asleep in a class, paste this to your profile.

If you hug cute toys when no one's looking, paste this to your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have pretended to be someone your not but learned it's better to be you copy and paste this into your profile

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Surely you can't be serious!? I am serious... and don't call me Shirely.

There are very few problems that can not be solved using a large amount of explosives.

Knowledge is power; power is the root of all evil. Therefore study to be evil.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets a fork in the eye - THEN IT'S EVEN FUNNIER!

It is only fair to warn you that I am practiced in the ancient art of origami. Beware my paper swan.

There comes a time in every person's life where they want to do nothing more than to throw their hands up in the air, screw honesty, and yell, "Pirate!"

Its at times like this I see why I need to make a list of people who need to die.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

I'm not as dumb as you look.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like Slinky's. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.

Silence is golden but how is it broken so easy.

It's ok to argue with two characters on your shoulders.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back, but stupidity killed him again.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. Just drink it and get it over with.

All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

For people who like peace and quiet: Get me a CORDLESS PHONE!

I don't get even, I get odder.

If being an idiot hurt, then you would be in constant pain.

If I were any lazier, I would slip into a coma!

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!

If life gives you lemons...throw them at someone.

If life gives you lemons, make apple jucie and laugh at people when they try to figure out how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, say "What else have you got?" you might get something else.

The more you love someone,the more you want them dead.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

I am worse than evil... I am the author!

Sorry about being late...I got lost on the path of life.

No you don't get it you think you get it which is different than actually getting it get it?

There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.

People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.

When life gives you lemons make apple juice then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.

When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!

Uh...define 'normal' for me again.

There are three rings in marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

"Wear short sleeves! Support our right to bare arms!"

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran into him again.

Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.

There are plenty more fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?

Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!

Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.

Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.

That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.

Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while the others try to figure out how you did it.

When life gives you lemons... throw it back and say, "B!TCH I ASKED FOR apples!!"

Come to the dark side. We have cookies.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

The word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing?

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

Committing Suicide is like saying to God, "You can't fire me, I quit!"

FUNNY PACKAGING THINGS:

This only proves how stupid we really are: This is junk of labels-

On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (now how am I going to dry my hair?)

On a bag of Chips: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (Isn't that stealing?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (I was using it as shampoo)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (No thaks. Mine's good)

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". (To late)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (It doesn't make it colder?)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (Uh-Oh!)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (Give the little guys a chance.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Ummmmm...Okay?)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (I have no place to put them now!)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (...)

On packet of Nobbys' Peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Really? I didn't know that!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Enjoy?)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for this one; On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Hollywood lied?!)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Uhhhhhh...oops!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on fork and eat." (what's next?)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits".(O.O?)

Friends

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella. BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin, "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore/Cry with you.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Return your stuff right away. BEST FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste."

FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. BEST FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. BEST FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. BEST FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crappp!!

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it