I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake.

I am an HONOR STUDENT, so I MUST be a NERD.

I am a BRUNETTE, so I MUST think all blondes are STUPID.

I am BLACK, so I MUST want you to try and avoid saying that WORD in my presence.

I do WELL in school, so I MUST LOVE it.

I have clothes from WALMART, so I MUST not care about CHILD LABOUR.

I like SINGING, so I MUST belong to a CHOIR.

tI don't like SILENCE, so I MUST fill every one with CHATTER

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

Couples I ship: Haleb, Jaria, Spoby, Kecy, Marthie, Ben and Mary. 7th Heaven and PLL.

Couples I ship: Stevetasha. The Avengers

kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted

Add this to you profile if you think it's funny:

Father:"You’re in big trouble Miss!"
Child: "I didn’t do anything!"
Father: "YOU KICKED HIM!!"
Child: "It was an accident!"
Father:"In the Face...?"
Child: "My foot slipped..."
Father: "Five times?!"
Child: ...

TEACHER: Why are you late?

STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

--
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
_
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
_
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
_
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
_
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
_
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,

but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand...
_
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
_
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..

Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people

are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
_

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only

black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:

"When I was born I was black,"

"When I grew up I was black,"

"When I'm sick I'm black,"

"When I go in the sun I'm black,"

"When I'm cold I'm black,"

"When I die I'll be black,"

"But you sir..."

"When you're born, your pink,"

"When you grow up, you're white,"

"When you're sick, you're green,"

"When you go in the sun, you turn red,"

"When you're cold, you turn blue,"

"And when you die, you turn purple,"

"And yet you have the nerve to call me a colored."

The black man then sat and the white man walked away...

Copy this onto your site & help stop racism!

Girls

are like

apples on a tree.

The best ones are

at the top of the tree.

The boys don't want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afrarid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree

I Owe My Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me IRONY...again.

22. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

23. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like you're father."

24. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

25. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

26. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"