Name: Elizabeth. Not Lizzy, Liz, Izabeth, or whatever else you can come up with. I know I have a British sounding name (Did you know that it originates in England, and can be a name for a girl or a boy? Creepy, I know.) I wish my name could be Victoria or something schmancy like Isabelle or Cosabella, or even Samantha. That has always been by dream. But I digress...

Age: 14. Freshman in high school. In Mississippi. Not telling you which one, creepers.

Height: 5 foot, 6 1/2 inches. That half always counts, people. Always.

About Moi: I am a trombone loving, singing, dancing (not really, I'm too uncoordinated), and reading. But if you really, really, really, really love books, I mean obssession. I am a beanpole with big feet, and an unproportioned body (Don't ask how it's possible, just go with it. Everyone says I'm not). I have blonde, curly hair, blue eyes, and no, I'm not a ditz. I usually have all A's and a rather large vocabulary (I scored a 100% on our state curriculm test in vocabulary). I often use these things (parenthese) and a whole bunch of ;, , and -'s. Just fyi. I have a large appetite, I am a soprano 1 and love classical music, some kind of rock, and a variety of broadway plays including Phantom of the Opera. I hate the color pink, and my favorite color is a emerald green and/or royal blue. I read tons of books at the speed of light. I even enjoy classic literature such as Pride and Predudice, Gone with the Wind, Scarlett, and Romeo and Juliet.

I'm really not picky about reviews, but I really enjoy them, and will put them to good use. I will even take flames, or whatever you call them. Some people can't use constuctive critisim, and I understand. I can use nothing but constructive critisim. But, I would request that you refrain from using foul language. I might sound like an old lady or something, but I do know that what you are surrounded by, you will eventually become it. I've seen it happen. So...

I am soooooo sorry for those of you who liked and read "Max's Deadly Disease" but, I had to delete it! I had forgotten I had published it, and I forgot what it was even about and I couldn't remember what was going to happen next. Don't kill me, please! I know you guyses hate excuses, and mine's awful. *beats head multiple times on wall* I will tell you that Max does get better. And there would have been Fax, because Fang came back. I'm gonna stick with oneshots and twoshots from now on. (Now my forehead hurts) Blech...

I apologize to my six reviewers, who were excited to read the next chapter. *bursts into tears*

literally...

As of 10/11/10, 2:13 A.M., I have had 532 hits (Can someone please tell me what that means, I presume that its a good thing...)and 180 visitors (to my story). I feel honored (even with the confusion). I am flabbergasted at this; I have had people visit my story from the following countries and/or major cities [In order from most visits to least] : United States, United Kingdom, Republic of Korea, Australia, Singapore, South Africa, Germany, Canada, Indonesia, Hong Kong, and New Zealand. Whew! I feel really insignificant at this point, but strangly sucessful. I've recieved all positive comments so far, and I do welcome any kind of response, flames and all. Thank you all so much!

LET THE WRITING BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry for not updating-new chap for Spy Ride though. Please don't kill me.

BTW, I have discovered an awesome album on itunes: One-X. Its by Three Days Grace, and I am in love with Riot. And if any of you are wondering, my pic says Maximum Read. So, that's all for now!:)))))

Here is just some random things that come to mind:

I just listened to the most amazing choir sing an awesome song!!!! It's called Earth Song by Frank Ticheli. Click: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgZJS3w046Q&feature=related !!! Just do it! Its so cool!!!

I am forced to wear a watch. It is a requirement by my parents.

I have a sister, mom, step-sister, step-brother, and step-dad.

I love most vegtables. Omit brussel sprouts, beets, radishes, and baked beans. Blech.

I wish I had longer eyelashes.

I only own brown eyeliner. I'm soon to get black brown.

I wish my eyes were green. And goldish.

I have 3 cats and two dogs: Lauren, Bud, and Gracie; Molly and Radar. You can guess the genders.

My walls are painted color called Tidewater.

I hate looking girly. And lip gloss.

I hate looking gothic.

I am a lover of romance novels and stories. I have no love life, don't worry. Not even in the near future. Ever...

My backpack is blue and black.

I am in the marching band.

And concert band.

I have a library in the corner of my room behind my door.

I love band and Chamber Choir.

And English.

And World Geo.

Not Advanced Algebra 1...

I hate all the preps in my school. They are all evil to anyone not like them, like moi. No offense. I'm fairly sure that all preps are not like that.

I love diet mountain dew and diet dr. pepper.

I love big words that most people don't know. i.e.: reprimend, discern, and ostentatious. Ah, vocabulary...

I have a reeallllyyy bad golfer's tan from marching so much (That's the tan you get when you wear your socks and tennis shoes and it looks really goofy) because I practically live in my Converse.

I love Converse.

They do not love me. See aforementioned tan. Look! New vocabulary word!

Vocab: aforementioned.

Thank you Shadowed White Rosebud and CrazyNerdyFangirl for this following questionaire:

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.

"'Oh, really, with whom?'" Violet on the Runway, by Melissa Walker

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

I'm squashing my computer screen on the word "Stretch"

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Gone with the Wind

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

9:59

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

9:58- wait, it just turned 9:59. Yay!

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

A random car. Ooh, my ear's ringing.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

About 4. I was bored and cold in the house and went in my back yard. The dog stared at me for a while and I went back inside.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

My computer screen...

9. What are you wearing?

My pjs: A huge t-shirt that says "Get the Band back Together" (a random mens t-shirt my mom got at tj max) and a pair of purple basketball shorts (even thought I hate sports)

10. Did you dream last night?

Yes. It involved the band and it was really weird (i've always had really weird dreams) and vivid.

11. When did you last laugh?

Reading Fanficton.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

A painting. A plaque for being in our all-state choir.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

Some limp bacon I cooked on the grill (long story)

14. What do you think of this quiz?

Its fun thinking of funny ways to answer these questions.

15. What is the last film you saw?

Pride and Predudice with Keira Knightly. I heart Mr. Darcy!

16.If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

A whole bunch of books and a library to put them in.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:

I've always wanted to wear a hoop skirt...hehehehe

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Buy all of the books everywhere:))))

19. George Bush?

Better than a democratic Pres...such as...cough...amabO...

20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Scarlett or Max.

21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Fitzgerald.

22. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Yes.

List your favorite 12 characters and/or things (sorry, people, I copied them wrong, and this is what I came up with):

1. Fang

2. Max

3. Scarlett O'Hara

4. Nudge

5. Me!!!!!

6. Violet from Violet on the Runway

7. Lemon poppyseed muffins

8. Angel

9. all food

10. Total

11. Dr. Martinez

12. More food

1) Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before?

I don't even think they exist. (Violet/Dr. Martinez)

2) Do you think four is hot? How hot?

Not at all. (Nudge)

3) What would happen if twelve got eight pregnant?

How can "more food" get Angel pregnant? (More food/Angel)

4) Do you recall any fics about nine? 9

Not really. (All food?)

5) Would two and six make a good couple?

Ah...no. (Max/Violet)

6) Five/Nine or five/ten?

5/9! Me and all food! 5/10:Me and Total...shiver

7) What would happen if seven walked in on two and twelve having sex?

A poppy seed muffin walking in on Max and food? Couldn't happen.

8) Make up a summary of a three/ten fanfic.

When Scarlett O'Hara met a black winged dog named Total, after things grew rough with Rhett, will she find comfort...or true love? Puppy love. Sotal/Tcarlett (Scarlett/Total)

9) Is there any thing as one/eight fluff?

Yes. But its kind of creepy. (Fang/Angel)

10) Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic

Food at Last (Lemon Poppyseed Muffins/More food)

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted four to de-flower one?

Nudge and Fang. Try the other way around.

12) Does anyone on your friends list read three?

Idk. (Scarlett)

Does anyone on your friends list draw or write eleven?

Nope. (Dr. Martinez)

14) Would anyone on your friends list write two/four/five?

No. Most people don't put me in their stories. (Max/Nudge/Me)

15)What might ten scream at a great moment of passion?

Oh, this is better than fine culture!!! (You know who...Total)

16)If you wrote a song fic about eight, what song would you use?

The Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace (Angel...hehehehe)

17) If you wrote a one/six/twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Warning: May bring out Fang's inner fashionista. (Fang/Violet[she's a model])

18) What would be a good pick up line for ten to use on two?

"Hey, there, sexy. Howsabout we go and get some fine wine for one fine winged girl..." (Total/Max) [Imagine with suave voice]

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you worship English 101

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, danceswithwings119, gottaluvtwilight,freexflyer, Green.Winged.Mistress, MoonStarWithWings, Yourcool79, Give Up Your Prejudices,dragongoddess13, iamatrombone4142

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their butts!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright

until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something

right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be

stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the

fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those

who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he

will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12

people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Max: (to Fang) "You look like a kitty-cat." Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment

Fang: "Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What have you been eating, rocks?"
Max: "Why, is your head missing some?" Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment

Fang: "You are a fridge with wings. We're freaking ballet dancers." Maximum Ride: School's Out Forever

Fang: "Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to." Maximum Ride: School's Out Forever

Max: "Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much." (tries to hold out arms to show how much)
Fang: "Oh, jeez." Maximum Ride: Saving the World And Other Extreme Sports

Fang: "There is one bright side to this."
Max: "Yeah? What's that?" The new and improved Erasers would mutilate us before they killed us?
Fang: grins You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much. Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

Iggy: "I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent. so people are choking and gagging; and let's throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that's a plan! Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports.

Dr. Martinez: "Fang? Are you - like Max?"
Fang: "Nope. I'm the smart one." Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

ter Borcht: "Is dere anysing special about you? Anysing vorth saving?"
Fang: "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

Jeb: "Nothing is as it seems, Max."
Max: "Is that what the aliens told you when you took off your tin foil hat?" Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

Max just explained to the flock that she wants them to find three good things every day...
Total: "Um, well, no one tried to kill us today."
Max: "That's one."
Total: "We're all together."
Max: "Okay, two. You're doing good. Go on."
Total: "I don't have fleas."
Max: "Uh, yep, I guess that's true. That's a good thing."
Iggy: "I don't have fleas."
Gazzy: "Bet you do." Maximum Ride: The Final Warning

For those of you who are curious...I do play the trombone...given my screen name "Iamatrombone4142"

29 reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark

\/)
(o.o) Help internet bunny dominate the world by posting him on your profile!

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Aw, but thats the only time I work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The 5 finger special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(Cuz that is just so obvious)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(Yeah, because Defrost is a serving.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Really!? I thought it would be cold.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(Which limits what? Use in outer space?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(What would that be? Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(What happened to the peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Wow. I never would have guessed.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Max Ride Quotes!

"I know everything, as I continue to remind you." -Fang

"I love Nudge, I really do. But that motor mouth of her's could have turned mother Theresa into an Axe murderer" - Max from Maximum Ride

"Yes! Freaks RULE!" ~Fang

"Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!"
"But we're grounded."
stare at each other for a second and burst out laughing ~Max and Fang

"I look like prep school Barbie. looks at Max Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's friend." ~Nudge

"Captain, like the captain of a ship. And then Terror, you know, T-E-R-O-R." ~Gasman

"You...are...a...fridge...with wings. We're...freaking...ballet...dancers." ~Fang

"Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much." "Oh, jeez." ~Max and Fang

"Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it." ~Fnick

"Because all you mad, evil scientists sit around whipping up batches of Pillsbury's finest during your coffee breaks." ~Max

"I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent. so people are choking and gagging; and let's throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that's a plan!" -Iggy

"Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony." ~Iggy

"Fang? Are you - like Max?"
"Nope. I'm the smart one." ~Dr. Martinez and Fang

"Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." ~Fang

"Oh yeah,'cause Fang is all about the wordy sharing of feelings." ~Max

"'Iggy, this is not a democracy," I said understanding his fear but not being able to do anything about it. "It's a Maxocracy.'"-From Max Ride: The Angel Experiment

"Ok, so that did me in. Mr. Rock being all emotional? Expressing feelings?..., total flock hug, and I put my head on Fang's shoulder and cried."- Max, MR4

"The one thing I really can't stand is when Max and the others are in pain or upset. Not upset as in angry or teed off, 'cause God knows if that got to me I'd be totally out of luck." -Fang

I let my jaw drop open, looking from him to Fang and back, and then Iggy was smiling huge in a way he never does, and Fang was grinning in a way he hardly ever does, and I felt like skipping around like a ballerina, which i promise you, I never, ever do." -Max, MR4

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser.Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself.Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Maximum Ride(or almost, at least).Crazy is when you write Fang or Iggy is hot on your homework instead of doing it.Crazy is when you see a movie (Bruce Almighty) and then try to walk on water. Crazy is when u yell at your bro through the phone, while texing him. :)Crazy is when you let your friend talking you in to skipping around with paper plate fairy wings on (thanks guys).Crazy is when you call everyone in the phone book that has the last name Ride.Crazy is when you are always depressed beacuse you arnt a Human Avian Hybrid.Crazy is when you freak out everytime you meet someone with a name from the Max Ride series.Crazy is when you agree to prank call someone and talk about your date under a swing.Crazy is when you shoot your bras at the cieling fan to try and hit your sister, then burst out laughing when it hits your dad instead. Crazy is when you run over your toe with ur vacuum and run around (with your toe sticking straight up so you don't stub your injured toe) and scream "My toe is squirting blood! Ew!" just to freak her out. When its barely bleeding under the nail.
If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

Best friends through thick and thin!If you cry, I cry,If you laugh, I laugh,If you fight, I got your back,If you trip, I'll catch you when you fall,If you jump off a bridge... Oh heck ,wait for me!

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

Random sayings.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. (So true...)

Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would you keep looking after I found it?

Your laughing now because your older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

When your down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you.

You don't die of a broken heart... you only wish you did. (Strange...)

Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within. (That's deep and depressing...)

Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

When your are in jail a friend will bail you out, but a best friend will be sitting right next to you saying "dang that was fun!"

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

Friends will always be like "Well, you deserve better!" but best friends will prank call him saying "You will die in seven days!" (Also True!)

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, but a best friend will go up to him and say "Its because your gay isn't it?" (I can picture one of my friends doing that!!)

I called your boyfriend "gay" and he hit me with his purse!

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

The toothfairy teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts.

I'm not crazy. My reality is just different then yours.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.

I was about to take over the world, but I got distracted when I saw something shiny.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

Your year book picture still haunts me.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

All was well until Voldemort and Vader started discussing which was better, magic or The Force.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

You're a speacial kind of stupid aren't you?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh,he just took a wrong turn,got lost,and is to stubborn to ask directions.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I like work. It fasinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

I DONT obsess! I think intensley...

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after the first truth, will try it.

3. The first truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.

RANDOM, BUT AWESOME SHIZ...

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and stare at it forever.

We're not retreating...we are simply advancing in another direction.

Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.

It's people like you that make people like me need medication.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as the go by.

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

Don't mess with me-I've got a stick.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have
Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Boys are like slinkies. Useless, but still VERY fun to watch fall down stairs.

Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would you keep looking after you found it?

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

When your down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you.

You don't die of a broken heart... you only wish you did.

Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend keeps walking and says,"Walk much dumbass?"

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eyes.

Sayings To Live By

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

It’s not cheating unless you get caught.

Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life!

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

I’ve got problem for your solution…

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”

Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.

Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.

Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half

Sweet things:

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you
Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
don't look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-

When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE