hey, readers of fanfiction. Me here. Zoe. Sup

Um, I had had this epicly snarky greeter, but I accidentally pressed the refresh key instead of my shift so...The lesson here is don't mistake the shift key for the refresh. But I blame myself. I'll blame it on the fact that my laptop is older than I am. Yeah, that works.

I write fanfiction, original stories, plays, and songs. I take ballet, point, jazz, and tap classes that in total give me six and a half hours of dance a week. I act and you'll see me walking up to the stage and accepting my Academy Award one day. I sing and that'll come in handy for when I'm ready to show the world the songs I write in my song notebook. I paint and you'll find that out when you see my name signed on a peice of art in all the best museums. I play softball and that'll become apparent when you see me beating the living shit out of my enemies' prized possesions.

“Maybe I’ll be like that man in The Hanging tree. Still waiting for an answer.”

-Gale Hawthorn

“You can swim too. Where did you learn that in District 12?”

“We have a really big bathtub.”

-Finnick Odair and Katniss Everdeen

“Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying.”

-Peeta Mellark

“Remember, we’re madly in love, so its all right to kiss me any time you like.”

-Peeta Mellark

“Because I’m in pain. That’s the only way to get your attention.”

-Gale Hawthorne

“I do have a plan you know.”

“Yeah, I bet it’s a stunner.”

-Katniss Everdeen & Gale Hawthorn

“What is it sweetheart? More boy trouble?”

-Haymitch Abernathy

“Ally. I’ll add it to the list of words I use to try to figure you out.”

-Peeta Mellark

We defended the STONE, we found the CHAMBER, we freed the PRISONER, we were chosen by the GOBLET, we fought with the ORDER, we learned from the PRINCE, and we commanded the DEATHLY HALLOWS.

“We teachers are rather good at magic, you know."

—Professor McGonagall, to Harry.

"Blimey, Neville, there’s a time and a place for getting a smart mouth."

—Ron, to Neville.

“Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts."

—Ron, to Harry.

"All's fair in love and war, and this is a bit of both."

—Ron, to Harry.

"Pathetic, Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?"

—Fred, to George Weasley.

Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL

Calling me DUMB won't make you SMART

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG

Calling me UGLY won't make you BEAUTIFUL

Calling me MEAN won't make you NICE

Calling me GAY won't make you STRAIGHT

Calling me RUDE won't make you POLITE

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping".
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary... Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how???)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost"...
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought????..)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Nobby's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

On a pack of pens:
"One Size"
(Uh... what size do you expect them to be?)

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Have you ever noticed that here in the America, only drug dealers bother to learn the metric system?

IF YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.

Opening Credits:
High Scool Never Ends- Bowling For Soup ( Sounds about right)

Waking Up:
We R Who We R- Ke$ha ( Um...okay. Could be worse.)

First Day At School:
Paradise- Coldplay (School? Paradise?)

Making Your New Best Friend: Material Girl- Madonna (So we go on a lot of trips to the mall, huh?)

(Not that encouraging)

Breaking Up:
Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)- Katy Perry (So we were drunk! Cool!)

Prom: Don't You Wanna Stay-Jason Aldean Featuring Kelly Clarkson (Ha, he wants me back!)

Graduation:
Just The Way You Are- Bruno Mars (Very inspirational.)

Life's Okay:
The Edge Of Glory- Lady Gaga (Cool)

Death of a Close Friend:
Songbird- Fleetwood Mac (Was it the material girl? Was she texting and driving)

Mental Breakdown:
Keep Holding On- Glee Cast (I'll keep that in mind after I'm done freaking out.)

Driving:
Pumped Up Kicks- Foster the People (All right, who's chasing me?)

Flashback:
Set Fire To The Rain- Adele (Sad flachback, huh?)

Getting Back Together: Somewhere Only We Know- Keane (Awww!)

Wedding Scene: Check Yes Juliet- We The Kings

Birth of Child: Safe And Sound- Taylor Swift (I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing)

Car Accident:
Misery- Maroon 5 (Crap! I hate being in Misery!)

Final Battle: We Are young- Glee Cast ( Inspiring! Hope we don't die in battle!)

Death Scene:
Walk- Foo Fighters (Cool song, but hey, I just DIED!)

Funeral Song:
Sing- My Chemical Romance (Cool, I've got some vengeful friends.)

End Credits:
Need You Know- LadyAntebellum (Um...okay, I guess...)

Deleted Scenes:
Firework- Katy Perry (Random, but cool!)

If my friends and I were in a horror movie

Suggests going into the creepy house: Joan

Decides to stay in the creepy house: Evelyn

Gets everyone else to stay: Anne Marie

Doesn't like the idea: Annie

Gets angry about having to stay: Bella

Jokes about it and scares us: Allison

The first to go missing: Marissa

Freaks out about her missing: Sierra

The one screaming the entire time: Camille

Gets murdered trying to save us: Lydia

Tries to hunt down the murderer: Evita and I

Was the murderer all along: Monica

Um, so... here are my stories!