![]() Name... Nightshadekiller (Duh) Age... Older then 1 and younger then 100. Hobbies... Reading and Writing Fanfiction and Any other fiction. Personality... Self-serving psychopath with no redeeming quality. Likes... Almost everything. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile 16 THINGS TO DO AT Big-W 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" Repost this if you laughed... You know you live in 2010 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts. 1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms 2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one. 3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. 4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office. 5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class 6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss 7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda 8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar 9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy 10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month" 11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches 13) The Giant Squid is not an approriate date to the Yule Ball 14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!" 15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm. 16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor 17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental 18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak 19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends" 20) I will ont dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want. 21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" 23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions. 24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom 25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate. 26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway. 27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. 28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" 30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife 32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the Arse" is not an acceptable quidditch chant. 34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoyin a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur. 34) It is a mad idea to tell Proffesor Mcgonagal that she takes herself too seriously 35) "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an aprropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an expirimental spell. 36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort. 37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy. 38) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy. 39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time". A funny thing I found about the best word ever: Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word "fuck." Out of all the English words that begin with the letter "F", fuck is the only word that is referred to as the "F" word. It's the one magical word that just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as most words in the English language, is derived from German, the word 'flicken' which means "to strike." In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. As a transital verb for instance, "John fucked Shirley." As an intransitive verb, "Shirley fucks." Its meaning's not always sexual, it can be used as an adjective such as "John's doing all the fucking work." As part of an adverb, "Shirley talks too fucking much." As an adverb enhancing an adjective, "Shirley is fucking beautiful." As a noun, "I don't give a fuck." As part of a word, "Abso-fucking-lutely" or "In-fucking-credible." And, as almost every word in a sentence, "Fuck the fucking fuckers." As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of "fuck", as in these examples describing situations such as: Fraud: "I got fucked at the used car lot." Dismay: "Aw fuck it." Trouble: "I guess I'm really fucked now." Aggression: "Don't fuck with me buddy." Difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking question!" Inquiry: "Who the fuck was that?" Dissatisfaction: "I don't like what the fuck is going on here." In Confidence: "He's a fuck off." Dismissal: "Why don't you go outside and play 'hide and go fuck yourself?'" I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say, use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly, "Fuck you!" When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining. When you are confused - I will use little words. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. |
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