I will most likely NEVER write any stories. This account is just for me to keep track of some of my favorite fanfiction's.

Sorry.

I hope that you will enjoy my favorites!!!!!

"There is a fine line between sanity and insanity, and I have white out".

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'

"... just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face."

Knowledge is power, power is the root of all evil. Therefore, study to be evil.

"Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised that we lied about the cookies? Come to the light side. We have ICE CREAM! Welcome to the light side. Heh, sorry, we're out of ice cream.

"'Let's eat Grandma' or 'Let's eat, Grandma'- Punctuation saves lives."

"A panda eats, shoots, and leaves... Or... A panda eats shoots and leaves." YOU'VE GOTTA' LOVE GRAMMAR!!

When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown over it but just 4 muscles to stretch your arm out and punch the crap out of them.

9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

War does not determine who is right... only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

You know you're a geek when procrastination doesn't affect your grades

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you

Whoever said "words don't hurt" have obviously never had a hard-backed encyclopedia hurled at their head.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"Funny, the damage a silly little book can do, especially in the hands of a silly little girl."

"I have seen your heart, and it is mine."

"I can tell you the difference between a geek and a nerd. A geek, goes to the midnight showing of Harry Potter. A nerd goes to the midnight showing of Harry Potter, dressed as Harry Potter, carrying various Harry Potter objects, and probably camped out for his spot in line."

'I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it'

'Silence is golden, duck tape is silver'

'Love doesn't always heal wounds. Strength doesn't always assure victory. Denial doesn't always prevent the inevitable. But revenge is always sweet to the bitter'

'I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing'

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

You're a speacial kind of stupid, aren't you?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You jump off a cliff, I laugh.

A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Dang, that was fun!"

They never suspect the short one.

Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia?

I've used up all of my sick days so I'm calling in dead.

Stereotyping? How do you type with a stereo?

The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

People who don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was.

I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face

DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S...tell your friends.

Automatic doors make me feel like a JEDI!!

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

It's okay pluto. I'm not a planet either.

I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicated. Haven't they met themselves?

Be a dork!! Because being cool is overrated.

At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Pretty deep huh?

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

How come when you mix water with flour, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

Hell is full of musical amateurs

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

God must love stupid people...he made so many

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch.

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

I have a dream and in it, something eats you.

Its sad your own mom dresses you like that.

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!

I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.

By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life

I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday

Hi! I'm human. What're you?

Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass!

Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you're abusing that privilege.

If we were to kill everyone who thought you were stupid, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

I see the wheel is spinning, but the hamster looks dead.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

Please, just keep talking, maybe someday you'll say something intelligent.

Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

Wow, how loud of a bark do you have?

I don’t think you’re a fool at all, but, oh wait, I wouldn’t be telling the truth now would I?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

Good looks will only get you so far in life…

I can almost hear the gears grinding inside your head!

I don't know what makes you tick, but I hope it's a time bomb.

Don't get lost in thought; you'll be a total stranger there.

You occasionally stumble upon the truth, but you quickly pick yourself up and carry on as if nothing happened.

I'd like to say I’m glad you’re here; I’d like to say it.

I'm not going to get into a battle of wits with you; I never attack anyone who's unarmed.

I wish we were better strangers.

If I’ve said anything to offend you, I mean it.