Hello, I'm an author.

My name is Ling Lin, I’m a child from a poor country.

My dad has cancer.

My mom died from AIDS when I was a baby.

I can’t go to school and I have to work 14 hours a day in a factory.

My father drinks and he beats me.

He also beats my mother.

My fairy godmother was killed by a drunk driver one minute ago.

There are cruel kids who beat me and mock me at school. I want to commit suicide.

I can’t walk because I was born with no legs.

I was also born with no heart and people have to punch me every other hour to keep my blood circulating.

My cute, cuddly kitten was killed by cruel people. They killed it because they don’t believe in Jesus.

If this story moved you, cut and paste it into your profile and DON’T do anything else. Don’t become a voluntary worker; don’t send a single dollar/pound/euro/whatever to a single charity. Having dozens of people crying their eyes out and feeling guilty about a fictional child is much more important than actually doing anything helpful.

What kind of person are you to read this glurge and not wanting to cry? There are no serious charities! The best thing you can do is sending that piece of mush to other people so they can think "hey, at least I'm not like that poor kid! I'm so lucky! Let's cry about her a bit more!" Just mope in front of your computer and don't do anything else!

Every glurge is:

two eyes that cry for no good reason;

two arms that won't hug someone who really needs it;

brains that just don't think enough.

Boys don't realize these things

I'm sorry that you believe I'm shallow just because my boyfriend is slightly more ripped than you.

I'm sorry that you call all plus-sized girls "fatties" when you think I'm not listening.

I'm sorry that you stopped spending time with me when I gained those five pounds.

I'm sorry that you believe I'm too weak or too stupid to close my own car door.

I'm sorry that you believe giving me roses will make me want to have sex with you.

I'm sorry that you try to prevent me from going out at nights whenever I want to.

I'm sorry that you were never interested in my personality, just in my curves.

I'm sorry that you believe that boys who don't rape girls should be rewarded with sex.

I'm sorry that you think killer Elliott Rodger was a misunderstood nice guy.

I'm sorry that you help pretty girls spontaneously and would never lift a finger to help a nice elderly lady who really needs it.

I'm sorry that you've been stalking me for weeks, "for my own good".

I'm sorry that you don't understand when someone says "no, thanks, you're a great person but I'm asexual/a lesbian/already in a relationship/just not interested".

I'm sorry that you don't believe men and women can be friends.

I'm sorry that you complain about being in the "friendzone" even though you never, ever told me you had a crush on me. How on Earth was I supposed to guess?

I'm sorry that you told me I should get married as young as possible instead of going to the college and becoming a lawyer.

I'm sorry that you belittle women who enjoy sex while you complain about having no sex partner.

I'm sorry that you ran away when my best girlfriend told you she's a transgender girl.

I'm sorry that you believe all women become ugly and repulsive when they turn 26.

I'm sorry that you don't take a "no" for an answer.

I’m sorry that you can’t realize.. I’ll never, ever be the one for you.

I’m sorry if you read this and know somebody like this but don’t care.

But most of all I’m sorry for not being sorry anymore.

I’m sorry that you can’t accept that I'm smart enough to make my own choices and take my own decisions.

I’m sorry you have no qualms in trying to give me guilt trips. Is that what friends are for?

I’m sorry that I told you to find a new hobby and make new friends instead of losing both our times with me. You never listened.

I’m sorry that I cared about you.

I'm sorry that you believe you're a nice guy because you obviously don't know the real meaning of the word "nice".

If you're fed up of all the self-proclaimed "misunderstood nice guys" who don't realize woman are human beings who have every right to be attracted to whoever they want, cut and paste this into your profile.