Name: Peyton

Sports: Soccer and Basketball

Best Friends: Ryan, Bryant, Riley, Benjamin, Jasmine, Jason, Jessica, Jason, Kai, Bridgette, Danielle, Makiya

Quotes:

we bust ours so we can kick yours

i speak the truth but i guess that's a foreign language to y'all

Love is patient, love is kind, but you're an asshole, so please go die."

You fight, I fight, you cry, I cry.you laugh, I laugh, You jump of a bridge, I save your stupid (sorry) ass

Do you like water?"

"Yes?"

"Good, than you already like 72% of me without any effort from me."

"Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them more."

"Sarcasm is just a way to insult stupid people without them realizing it."

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

My hater are my motivators

my fav anime/manga: shugo shara! ,mew mew tokyo

Several things I hate about people:

I read this in someone's profile and totally agreed.

I totally agreed with this person they had it on there profile.

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours?

2. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

3. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

4. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?!?

95% of teenagers would panic if the Jonas brothers were about to jump off a 100 foot building. Copy and paste this if you were the other 5% that would bring popcorn, invite friends, and yell, "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!

A white man said "No colored people allowed here." And the black man said. "When I was born I was black, when I grew up I was black, when I am sick I am black, when I go out in the sun I am black, when I am cold I am black, when I die I'll be black, but you, you. When you were born you were pink, when you grew up you were white, when you are sick you are green, when you go out in the sun you turn red, when you are cold you are blue, and when you die you'll be purple and you dare to call me coloured?" The black man sat down and the white man walked away. If you're against racism copy and paste this into your profile.

Justin Bieber falls off a building. 90% of the girls are crying. 9% are watching while eating popcorn. 1% are pushing Justin off the building. If you are part of that 9 or 1%, copy and paste this into your profile. ( I'm the 1% )

Sorry, I was a little paranoid

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. I just realized when I read it on a profile.

Touching Stories

Please read-true story (not me)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

PLeAsE pUt ThIs in yOu'Re ProFilE:

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in you're heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care
2) ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

Your guy side:

X You love hoodies.
X You love jeans.
X Dogs are better than cats.
X its hilarious when people get hurt.
X You've played with/against boys on a team.
X Shopping is torture.
X Sad movies suck.
X You own/Ed an X-Box.
X Played with Hot wheel cars as a kid.
X At some point in time you wanted to be a fire-fighter.
X You own/Ed a DS, PS or Sega.
X You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
X You watch sports on TV.
X Gory movies are cool.
X You go to your dad for advice.
X You own like a trillion baseball caps.
X You like going to high school football games.
X You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
X Baggy pants are cool to wear.
X It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
X Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favourite colors.
X You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
X Sports are fun.
X Talk with food in your mouth.
X Sleep with your socks on at night.

Total: 20

Your girl side:

X You wear lip gloss/Chap stick.
X You love to shop.
X You wear eyeliner.
X You wear the color pink.
X Go to your mom for advice.
X You consider cheerleading a sport.
X You hate wearing the color black.
X You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
X You like wearing jewellery.
X Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
X Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.
X You don't like the movie Star Wars.
X You were in gymnastics/dance
x It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
X You smile a lot more than you should.
X You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
X You care about what you look like.
X You like wearing dresses when you can.
X You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
X You love the movies.
X You used to play with dolls as little kid.
X Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
X Like being the star of everything.

Total: 8

If you've ever asked a really stupid and obvious question, copy and past this into your profile

If you've ever answered a rhetorical question, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull, or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile

If you wish writing fanfiction was a school subject, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Max and Fang should get together now copy and paste this into your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you wish that you could fly so much it hurts, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you're absoloutely, uncrontollably in love with Fang, copy this into your profile

If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character to steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this in your profile

If James Patterson needs to get it all together, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports in under two hours, copy this into your profile.

If you read all the Maximum Ride books in under 5 hours, copy this into your profile.

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you have the release date of MR3, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports marked on your calendar, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization.

If you hate pasting stuff, suck it up and paste this anyway!

If you think rainbows are wonderful, post this in your profile.

If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog), and you don’t care, copy and paste this is your profile.

If you are SO obsessed with Maximum Ride that it is not even FUNNY anymore, post this in your profile.

If you are a Maximum Ride Fanatic, put this on your profile.

If you think Fang is a stud, put this on your profile.

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

If your view on Maximum Ride is that there are much worse things you could be addicted to, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you solemnly swear you are up to no good copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang, post this in your profile

If you would give up the life have now to live in the Maximum Ride world, copy and paste this onto your profile.

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

1. Hold your breath 2. Go to your profile and add this 3. Still holding your breath 4. If you made it, your a good kisser

p.s. ITS HARD! But, I did it. :)

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS.. ... .sS.. .SS . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
... ... ... ... ... ... . SSSSS... ... ... sS... S.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . (sorry guys, girls only)
... ... ... ... S. ... .SSSSSSs ... ... .sS... ,
... ... ... ...sS. ... SSSSSSSs. ... .SSS.. ... .
... ... ... ... SS ... .SSSSSSs.. ... SSs ,
... ... ... ...S. ... .SSSSSSSs .sSSS.. ... ..
... ... ... ... SS... ... SSSSS..SSSS... s
... ... ... ... SSs ... ...SSSSSSSSS ... sS
... ... ... ... .SSs... ... ..SSSSSsSSSS ... sSS
... ... ... ..s...SSSS ... ..sSSSSSSSS. ..s SS
... ... ... .SS.. sSSSS..sSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... sS.sSSSSsSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... .sSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
... ... ...sSSSssssSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSS
... ... SSssSSSSsSS
... ...sSs
... ..s... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile.

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shalt not sneak out whilst thy parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)
2) Thou shalt not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shalt not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shalt not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shalt not steal from thy parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shalt not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shalt not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shalt not strip in class.
(Hookers pay more)
9) Thou shalt not think about having sex.
(Like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shalt not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedur

es and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

1. My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me: RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me: TIME TRAVEL . "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me: LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me: FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me: IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me: THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me: CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me: STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me: WEATHER "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me: HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me: BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me: ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING . "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My Mother taught me: GENETICS "I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me: MY ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Mother taught me: WISDOM "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me: JUSTICE "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost.
BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down.
BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me.

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me.

FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops.
BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they’re after me in the first place.

FRIENDS: Get angry at you for calling them late in the night.
BEST FRIENDS: Ask why it took so long for you to call.

FRIENDS: Wonder about your love life.
BEST FRINDS: Could blackmail you with it.

FRIENDS: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public.
BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days...”

FRIENDS: Help you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run, bitch, run, you're getting wet!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "Dang it, we messed up, but that was frickin' awesome! We are so doing that again!"

FRIENDS: Tells you she knows how you feel.
BEST FRIENDS: Just sits down and cries.

FRIENDS: Would tell off your stalker for you.
BEST FRIENDS: Would tell you how to tease them and mess with their minds.

FRIENDS: Turn down the music when you ask them to.
BEST FRIENDS: Turn it up instead of down and smiles.

:D FUNNY QUOTES :D

relax. nothing is ok.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

I love deadlines. I like to wave at them as they pass by

Always forgive your enemies... nothing annoys them more.

never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics

there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them. Do it... DO IT!

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliffs

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

Kid, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

Got a problem with me? Solve it.

Last night I had a wet dream about you... I pissed on myself laughing at you because you fell off a cliff.

:D MORE FUNNY QUOTES :D

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Smile. It confuses people.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Help, I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet! It's soo pretty!

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

The cops never find it as funny as you do.

-If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened...yesterday

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I know at least one person who would love to push me down the stairs.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

You can't spell awesome without ME!

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

I'm an optimistic pessimist.

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

Don't try to out-weird me-- I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast ceral.

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

You're a special kind of stupid aren't you?

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.

You say 'crazy' like it's a bad thing

I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do, kill me?

If Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love and I mean love to read, put this on your profile.

98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.

If you solemnly swear you are up to no good copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

PMS - Possible Murder Suspect

As I lay in bed looking at the twinkling stars above me, I think, "Where the heck is my ceiling?"

I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on Ebay.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

I'm only mean to people who tell me to be nice!

Curiosity killed whoever got in my way.

I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Most teachers promote the three R's; Reading, 'Riting, and 'Rithmetic. Then there are those that promote three S's; Sit down, Shut up, and STOP DRIVING ME CRAZY!!

A good friend bails you out of jail. A best friend is sitting in the next cell, laughing, and saying, "That was fun, let's do it again!"

A good friend helps find your Prince Charming. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

Weird is running up and down the street in a bikini, rubbing butter all over yourself, and screaming "I'm a pretty muffin!"

When Life gives me lemons, I throw them back and punch Life in the face, really, really hard.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is the same as cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

People are like slinkies. Basically useless, but it's so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs.

When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you jump off a bridge, I laugh harder.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

To date, life has been a race between Software companies making bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe making bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

Smile. It scares people.

An overly-positive attitude may not be enough to solve a problem, but it sure ticks people off enough for it to be worth it!

There are easier things to do in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.

A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."

I'm not so good with advice. May I offer a sarcastic comment?

The knack of flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

Whoever said words don't hurt have obviously never had a hard-backed encyclopedia hurled at their head.

Sticks and stones may brake my bones, but words will eventually kill me

Hell hath no fury that of a scorned woman. I'll help make sure of it.

When someone annoys you, it takes fourty-two muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend your arm and whack them upside the head.

I get plenty of exercise; jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

Life isn't passing me by! It's trying to run me over!

Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'

I didn’t escape from the mental ward! Those sirens are a complete coincidence!

Drive like you stole it!

Everyday I think people can't get any dumber. Everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.

When life gives us Jonas brothers, we throw Jonas Brothers back really, really hard and demand Blue October

I'm not mean, I just say what most people keep in their heads.

I don't need your attitude, I have my own.

I'm not mean, you're just a sissy.

You're a great friend. But if zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

Be the type of woman, that when your feet land on the floor when you get out of bed in the morning, the devil thinks: "Oh, crap! She's up!"

RANDOM AWESOME QUESTION THAT MAKE SO MUCH SENSE IF YOU ARE NOT TOO STUPID TO THINK ABOUT THEM.

there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

Can mute people burp?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

FUN FACTS

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?A day without sunshine is like... night.

A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot

Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots.

So far, the universe is winning.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me

FEMALE COMEBACKS

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Favorite Charlie Sheen quotes- Im bi-winning and I got Tiger blood

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

Some people think I'm insane. If you've ever been called insane before, copy this and put it in your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you are obsessed with Danny Phantom, copy this into your profile.

If your personality is strongly similar to a TV show character's, copy this into your profile.

If you completely hate Nick for ending production on Danny Phantom, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

SIGN ST. FANG'S PETITION!!:

STOP KRISTEN STEWART AND ROBERT PATTINSON FROM PLAYING MAX AND FANG IN THE MOVIE!! THE HORROR! (That wasn't sarcasm. That was real life horror on my part.)

Spread the word my peoples!