Hi, my name is Lauren.

I have been a writer since age six. Now I am 21. I have copyrighted a book of poetry called Quiet Moments for Restless Minds. Currently, I am writing a novel. If you would like to know what it is about send me a message (I think you can do that. ((I am new on Fanfiction)) ). I heard about fanfiction through a really good friend of mine. Anyone got any profile suggestions, this is a really boring profile. haha...:D

EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
I like this one!!
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Girl Tree
Girls ...
...are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.
'Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.' ..

Rock/Paper/Scissors?

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *! Copy and paste this if you have ever wondered the same thing.

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy".
7.Don't use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go"
10. Sing Along at the Opera
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!"
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
15. Tell your children over diner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It's called therapy.

Abortion

Month one
Mommy I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two
Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four
Mommy my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven
Mommy I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

SAY NO TO DRUGS

My name is Nora
and I'm seventeen,
I am on drugs
and cannot clearly see.
Because of this
my grades in school have dropped.
I am very drunk,
Sometimes I'm beaten up
by some street punk.
There are so many rules
i've tried not to break,
But I am so drunk
that I can't stand up straight.
I am so drunk ,
Most of the time
I cannot talk.
Maybe if my parents trusted me,
they would let me hold a car key.
One night I was out walking around,
But there was a sound
and then I saw a man
who didn't want me in town.
The man was holding a gun,
He was not as bright
He was like a Earth without a sun.
My name is Nora
I am seventeen,
and tonight a man
murdered me.
Remember: Say NO to drugs!! Drug Abuse is very dangerous, so help make it stop.If you care at all about stopping Drug Abuse copy the poem and add your name to this list: Ice The Angel, Tiger Mew Mew, Jojo McDodd, Pixel Alice, Twilight-Lover908, starlight luna, AliceCullen0629, TheConofMan13

You Know You Live In 2011 When...
1) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2) You haven't play solitaire with real cards in years.
3) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have MSN, MySpace or Facebook.
4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the buttons on the TV.
6) Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
7) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9) You were to busy to notice number 5.
10) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11) Now your laughing at your self stupidly.
12) Now you are thinking, "I Have to put this on my profile!"
13) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
This was first said by EternalSong13 for You Know You Live In 2008 When...

Spread the Stupidity
Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Funny Phrases
"It takes 42 muscles to frown,28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone."
"Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that."
"When life gives you lemons,make apple juice,then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did."
"When life gives you lemons, chunck them at the people you hate."
"It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."
"I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?"

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot.
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You tend to collect Bic Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)