A collection of whumpy one shots featuring the many iterations of Killian Jones, and the occasional dabble into some of Colin O'Donoghue's other characters (real or speculative). Ratings/Pairings/Word Count listed at the top of each chapter.

Emma has a list of things she wants to do with her boyfriend 2017. Now she only has 11 days left and after breaking off with Walsh she has no hope of finishing it by herself in time. But her best friend, Killian, has other plans.

Alternative to Emma and Killian's encounter with his former self in the ship's cabin set during "Snow drifts". Angsty, filthy threesome.

"Emma." Mary Margaret's got her 'teacher voice' on, which is really intimidating to the ten-year old living in Emma's brain most days. "When did we forget to pay the gas bill?" Luckily, while Mary Margaret goes to stay with David, Killian is more than happy to offer Emma shelter three days before Christmas.

Celebrity AU: It's not that Emma Swan never dreamed about a late night rendezvous with her favorite movie star, Killian Jones. It's just that this was NOT the way she imagined it happening…

FAKE DATING AU! Emma's roommate Liam is still recovering from a nasty breakup, but his brother Killian is constantly trying to get him back into the dating scene. Emma offers to pretend to be Liam's girlfriend when Killian comes to visit for the weekend. What could go wrong? [Note: Don't worry, this is NOT a romantic Liam/Emma fic.]

After Emma's parents have been killed by an evil force, Princess Emma and her bodyguard Ruby are on the run. To stay undercover, Emma travels disguised as a boy. By accident, they find themselves on the Jolly Roger in the hands of the infamous Captain Hook as stowaways. To save Ruby's life, Emma trades herself to the pirate as a cabin boy. Contains non-con and violence!

Michelin Star Chef Killian Jones is surprised when he see Social worker Emma Swan eating alone in his restaurant. After a short meal together he is spellbound, only problem is she's dating his sous chef! CS Modern AU!

"Sitting alone in my apartment on the biggest commercial bullshit holiday of the year is perfectly reasonable when I'm single. What do you want me to do, go hang out with my brother and his wife up in some ridiculous ski resort cabin? They don't even ski." "I want you to come get drunk with me and the rest of our single friends who call bullshit on today."

You run a coffee shop and say I'm your best customer, when a bad blizzard hits, I'm crazy enough to brave the storm to get my coffee, and you persuade me to stay for my safety. - Written for the CS January Joy on Tumblr

Deckhand Hook/Pirate Emma AU. Captain Swan, the mysterious pirate captain, steals Blackbeard's ship while at port. What she doesn't realize is that she has a member of his crew on board: the lowly deckhand, Killian Jones.

A Captain Swan domestic AU with a bunch of meet-cutes, a roommate situation, and a twist. A one-shot.

After one too many bad setups, Emma thinks the best way to get out of another blind date is to tell her sister-in-law she already has a boyfriend. But when her brother makes the assumption she's dating Killian Jones, Emma just might need a Christmas miracle to pull it off.

Modern AU: Emma moves to Storybrooke, Ohio with her son Henry to try to start a new life after her previous one fell apart. She wasn't ready for life in a small town. The lovely residents. The welcoming preacher and his family. And most importantly, the sinful brother of the preacher. (a bday gift for the wonderful Brooke-to-Broch)

CS Olympic AU

Collection of AU one shots

Killian is sick. It's a lucky coincidence that Emma is a doctor who doesn't know when to quit.

If your best friend demands you marry him for free health insurance, well, maybe sometimes you just give in. Captain Swan.

You look a lot like my good friend so I ran up behind you and grabbed your ass with both hands in front of everyone I'm so sorry

Killian is in the Navy on leave. Emma is a bailbonds person looking for a skip in Vegas. One strange night leads to a marriage but this one is to scam the government. Welcome to my very long married in Vegas/fake married CS AU oneshot.

Emma signs up to be a test subject for a "guaranteed true love match". The kicker is that she can't see her match until their wedding day. The moment she sees him for the first time, she knows she's doomed.

She didn't choose Killian Jones as her friend, he just kind of happened. She didn't choose to like him either, but maybe in between the visits to his shop and the nights they spend laughing at each other's expense, that one was inevitable. EF AU.

Modern Art AU. Killian Jones is a highly respected museum curator that focuses mainly on XIX century art. Emma Swan is a rising contemporary artist fiercely protective of her work. When Killian gets assigned to curate Emma's first solo exhibition, things don't necessarily start well but soon they will discover there is much to learn in art. And love.

Killian Jones abhors his neighbors. He really does.

Desperately running away from her past, Emma disguises herself as a boy and seeks an escape in the freedom of the open seas. All is well until she crosses paths with the infamous Captain Hook.

my take on the prompt: "we both stayed in the dorms for winter break and basically have the whole building to ourselves so maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to hang out" captain swan college au

Captain Swan Christmas AU One-shot. Emma Swan attends the Mills-Hood Christmas party trying to get to know the son that found her in New York a few months ago. Everything goes sideways when she meets Henry's Uncle Killian; but it's not for the first time.

Captain Swan AU. Based on the "Before" Trilogy

Captain Swan Modern AU. Emma and Killian are coworkers who kissed (it was just a kiss) but now they fight. Then along comes the office Secret Santa and some very special gifts. Fluffy Holiday one-shot.

We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date

Modern Life AU - Granny has a special program where she gives reformed petty criminals room and boarding at Granny's and help them get back on his feet. Killian and Will are part of the program. Killian's path will lead him to the sheriff, Emma; while Will's will take him to the arms of the recent divorced librarian, Belle.

Canon divergence for New York Serenade. The ride back to Storybrooke forces Emma and Killian to find a place to stay for the night.

A CS Modern AU Fanfic Killian Jones is the front man for a band who have not yet made the big time. He is also in love with his good friend (and the girlfriend of their manager) the unattainable Emma Swan. When their manager turns out not to be the man they thought, his friendship with Emma is threatened.

They met when they were 22, fresh out of college and ready to embark on a two-day journey. Killian was looking for a partner for the trip that would take him to his new work in advertising in a new city. His former roommate David had mentioned that his girlfriend's friend, Emma, was headed to Chicago to work in social services. Friends with Benefits AU

Canon divergence from 3x10. What if they were able to stop Pan's curse without sending everyone back to the Enchanted Forest, and Hook was forced to comply with his promise to back off from Emma? Where would their hearts take them, and would they somehow find their way back to each other? A/N: I know this has been done before, but here's my take on the Emma/Neal/Hook love triangle.

Modern CS AU. A stray kitten can change a life. Or two.

Captain Swan Modern AU: A handsome stranger moves into the apartment right next to Emma Swan's. Emma isn't ready for romance, but what harm could come of making friends with the charming self-proclaimed "pirate" whose bedroom shares a wall with hers?

Another birthday, another trip to the ER. It's all fairly routine when it comes to life for Emma Swan, but there is nothing routine about Dr. Killian Jones.

They've been friends since college, but it takes Emma Swan and Killian Jones a while to find their way to each other. One-shot.

AU based on the movie.

When Emma Swan gets an invitation to her ex's wedding, she isn't expecting to find it still hurts. Determined not to "lose the break-up", Emma recruits the snarky Irishman she chases down bail jumpers with, to assist her in her somewhat ill-conceived plan to save face. Absolutely nothing could go wrong, right? Captain Swan AU. M for swears.

Most would overlook the only man in the tavern that chooses to sit in the corner instead of joining in on the raucous activities of the other patrons. But Emma notices him, despite the fact that he's trying his very best to blend in with the shadows, dressed all in black. (CS au one-shot)

based on a prompt: Meet cute: "I heard you talking/singing to yourself through the air vent and I want to keep listening but I need to pull myself away so I can find you somewhere in this building"

CS Flower Thief AU: I saw a prompt on Tumblr and I did a thing. Emma catches Killian stealing flowers from her garden and assumes he's being a cheap date. She insists on coming with him to find out whether the girl is pretty enough to warrant flower theft...and he doesn't know how to break it to her that he's taking the flowers to the graveyard.

A submission request for an overprotective Killian with a teenage daughter.

Based on a prompt: modern AU - I forgot my umbrella in the poruing rain, and you offer to walk my home, but you suck at this, because I'm still getting wet. My first AU.

Killian and Emma like to celebrate their anniversary at fancy restaurants, but they can't always afford to treat themselves. Enter their favorite con: the fake proposal. Captain Swan AU one-shot.

"'I was trying to convince my mates that I'm a sex god and I really need your number". CS AU

A random act of kindness becomes something so much more for two lonely, broken souls. CS AU. Inspired by "The Words" by Christina Perri (and the gorgeous video).

Killian Jones has a way with words. Or he used to... but after the accident things weren't the same. When he fires his editor the publishing company sends him someone new to determine if his career can be salvaged or if he's a lost cause..."No one uses the word malfeasance! Damn it Killian, are you drunk again?" (NOW complete!)

Modern AU. Emma works in a flower shop. Killian is a customer. Christmas romance. The idea came from those BTS pictures of the Christina Perri video with Colin in winter wear at a flower shop. I regret nothing! Also on Tumblr.(Fixed the weird coding issue so now you can actually read it!)

A sequel to "Rotten", set post-4x10, with a slight canon divergence. Emma has restored Hook's heart - gently - and they are going on their long-overdue, second date.

Eddie has given Jen and Colin a particularly interesting scene to play out. Is rehearsal really necessary?

Post 4x02. After Emma almost freezes to death, Killian warms her up in fun ways. Mary Margaret confronts David about his conversation with Killian. Captain Swan and Snowing fluff!

Jennifer can't sleep and hates the reason why. Will Colin be able to soothe her or will it only make things worse?

The result of a tumblr prompt asking for an AU where Killian likes to make Emma angry. CS as neighbors who live in the same apartment building, and the ensuing prank war. [Complete]

Realising you've packed the wrong shoes to go with your skirt and you have to rethink your whole outfit is bad enough. Being holed up in a hotel bathroom while you get changed into said outfit because you're suddenly sharing your room with a strange British man is a whole lot worse. Captain Swan AU (prompt: Accidental Roommates) COMPLETE, AND THANK YOU FOR READING! Mwah!

AU. Emma is captured by pirates, and when Hook cannot ransom her, he decides to make use of her in other ways. Pure smut. WARNING: includes dubcon and a threesome.

iShe's allowed to ask him as many questions as she likes. He's an open book as far as she's concerned, he tells her. There's just one catch. After she's done, he's allowed to ask her one question. Only one, but she must answer truthfully. What could possibly go wrong?/i

Priest!Killian CS. Set post S3. Storybrooke is cursed... again. This time, Killian Jones is caught in the curse, too, recreated as a man of God. With Henry and Neal in New York on vacation and Storybrooke sealed from the rest of the world, Emma has no choice but to convince Father Jones that he's more pirate than priest.

Home, finally. Things will now get back to normal for Emma Swan, right? If so why is she does she find herself drawn to him. Why can't she stay away...

"Henry! What. Did. You. Do?" Henry looked up at his grandparents with his best innocent puppy face, then at his mother and Captain Hook, who were still preoccupied by a heavy makeout session against the bar. "…It was only a little bit of potion…" Based on an anonymous prompt from Tumblr.

CS AU. Emma's been gone for six years, but something always brings her back to the same place, the same guy ... this time, it's for good.

Five times Hook and Emma almost kissed … and one time they did. Post season 2.

Emma likes to sleep with her window open. She never quite realized who she'd be inviting in. All things considered, however, Captain Hook showing up in her bedroom after midnight is hardly the worst of his offenses. Emma knows how to handle Hook. (AU post "Welcome to Storybrooke". Unapologetically Captain Swan.)

Captain Swan ficlet. Killian wants to know what it'll take to get Emma to kiss him.

AU Captain Swan. Based on the path of the Tarot's Major Arcana. Every journey starts with a single step. Emma never left Killian up the beanstalk, instead, they went back to Storybrooke together. Now Emma's finding herself increasingly drawn to the infuriating pirate captain, and a series of events that neither one of them could have predicted has been set into motion.

"You keep saying you're gonna get revenge on Rumplestiltskin. But how do you plan to do that?" —-Emma, Hook, late-night murder plots, and a legitimate and serious conversation utterly derailed by rum. Emma/Hook, of the UST variety.