I've got glossy brown hair with dark brown eyes. Contrary to popular belief, yes I do have a life.

And, thank you to Serenity Wintirs who was curious enough to ask about it, the whole Red Rose thing in front of the summaries of my stories comes from the days when I was Random Rose.

Red Rose - One of my favourite stories, I'm immensely proud of it.

Pink Rose - Not Red, but not Yellow. Good and I do like this story, but I'm not as proud of it.

Yellow Rose - Not good, not bad. In the middle, tend to not really like this story.

White Rose - Not proud of how it turned out, not sure what possessed me to write this. Put it up just for the heck of it.

Dark Angel

Max/Alec: Just gotta love the banter!

Syl/Krit: They go together so well.

Tinga/Charlie: They're married. True love and all that.

Harry Potter

Harry/Hermione: So it's not canon. Who cares? They're perfect for each other! Ginny and Cho just make me sick.

Lily/James: I love fics on how they get together. He's so adorably annoying!

Sirius/OC: No one Ms. Rowling had created is quite as perfect for Sirius as a character you made up yourself.

Remus/OC: Ditto.

Draco/Hermione: I've come to quite like this ship. They're absolute opposites, but as people say, opposites attract. Not quite as worshipped as HHr.

Star Trek: Voyager

Janeway/Chakotay: Love it! She's just gotta get over Mark and all those stupid guys who are just SO not good enough for her.

Tom/B'Elanna: She's feisty, he's funny. Match made in heaven.

Doctor/Seven: Please. I don't hold with all that Seven/Chakotay rubbish.

Lord of the Rings

Aragorn/Arwen: She gave up being immortal for him. If that's not true love and devotion, than what is?

Arwen/Legolas: Just different and kinda sweet, what with both of them being elves and all.

Sam/Rosie: You'd think that poor Samwise has done enough to prove his love for Rosie already!

Frodo/OC: Yet to find someone in Tolkien's world to match our beloved little hobbit.

Faramir/Éowyn: What can I say? They're perfect for each other.

Galadriel/Celeborn: Why aren't there more G/C fics on their love and NOT their failing marriage?

Éomer/Lothíriel: A new favourite. They're so sweet together.

V For Vendetta

V/Evey: Just cause. They're perfect and simple yet complicated. Their relationship is something very intriguing, and the best authors can delve deep and poke it with a pen so I- we can be satiated for my- our need for V/Evey stories.

Pairings That Plain Make Me Sick:

Slash, femmeslash, yaoi... Whatever you call it, I don't read slash fics. I'm not prejudiced or anything against homosexuals - I'd just not prefer to read it.

Random Quotes:

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize that someone, you're a mile away and you have his shoes. ~Dave Barry

Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtably will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE.

YOU ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDER AND SET IT ON "FAST FORWARD", THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS, RIGHT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?~Dave Barry, "Read This First!"

When they throw the bouquet, I run in the other direction. ~ Oprah Winfrey.

If you were my husband, sir, I'd poison your tea! ~ Lady Esther

If you were my wife, madam, I'd drink it! ~ Winston Churchill.

V For Vendetta

Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof. ~VWho are you? ~ Evey

Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask. ~V

I can see that. ~ Evey

I'm not questioning your powers of observation. I am merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man, who he is. ~V

My father was a writer. You would've liked him. He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth while politicians use them to cover it up. ~ Evey

A man after my own heart. ~ VVoilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V. ~ V

Are you like a crazy person? ~ Evey

I'm quite sure they will say so. ~V People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people. ~VWhere did you get all this stuff? ~ Evey

Oh, here and there, mostly from the Ministry of Objectionable Materials. ~V

You stole them?~ Evey

Oh, heavens, no. Stealing imples ownership. You can't steal from the censor; I merely reclaimed them. ~V

God, if they ever find this place...~ Evey

I suspect if they do find this place, a few bits of art will be the least of my worries. ~VA building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by people. A symbol, in and of itself is powerless, but with enough people behind it, blowing up a building can change the world. ~V

Monty Python And The Holy Grail

Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valour, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.Tim the Enchanter

What an eccentric performance.King Arthur

Ni! Shh!Knights Of Ni

Shh! We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky- ecky- ecky- ecky- pikang- zoop- boing- goodem- zoo- owli- zhiv'.Head Knight

Ni!Random

Therefore, we must give you a test. Head Knight

What is this test, O Knights of-- knights who till recently said 'ni'?King Arthur

Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery! ((dramatic chord)) Head Knight

Not another shrubbery!King Arthur

Ni! Random

Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get the two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.Head Knight

A path! A path! A path! Ni! Shh! Ni! Ni! Ni! Shh! Shh!..Knights Of Ni

Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring! ((dramatic chord)) Head Knight

A herring!Knights Of Ni

Consult the Book of Armaments!King Arthur

Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-oneBrother Maynard

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--Second Brother

Skip a bit, Brother. Brother Maynard

And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.' Second Brother

Amen.Brother Maynard

Amen.Knights

Right! One!... Two!... Five!King Arthur

Three, sir! Sir Galahad

Three! King Arthur

(angels sing))

((boom))

It's Aramaic!Brother Maynard

Of course! Joseph of Arimathea!Sir Galahad

'Course! Sir Lancelot

What does it say?King Arthur

It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaaaaagggh'.Brother Maynard

What? King Arthur

'...The Castle of aaaaaagggh'. Brother Maynard

What is that? Sir Bedevere

He must have died while carving it. Brother Maynard

Oh, come on! Sir Lancelot

Well, that's what it saysBrother Maynard

Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'aaaaaggh'. He'd just say it!King Arthur

Well, that's what's carved in the rock!Brother Maynard

Perhaps he was dictatingSir Galahad

Oh, shut up. Well, does it say anything else? King Arthur

No. Just 'aaaaaagggh'Brother Maynard

Aaaauugggh.Sir Lancelot

AaaaagghKing Arthur

Do you suppose he meant the Camaaaaaargue?Sir Bedevere

Where's that? Sir Galahad

France, I think.Sir Bedevere

Isn't there a 'Saint Aaauuves' in Cornwall? Sir Lancelot

No, that's 'Saint Ives'. King Arthur

Oh, yes. Saint Iiiiives.Sir Lancelot

Iiiiives.Knights

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"All right," said Deep Thought, "The Answer to Life, The Galaxy..."

"Yes!"

"Of the Universe and Everything..."

"Yes!"

"Is..."

"Yes!"

"42," said Deep Thought with infinite majesty and calm. HGTG

And when I've finished I will take all the little bits, and I will JUMP on them! And I will carry on jumping on them until I get blisters, or I can think of anything even more unpleasant to do... Arthur

Vogon poetry is the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience members died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. HGTG

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continuously stating and repeating the very very obvious, asin It's a nice day, or You're very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right HGTG

You know, it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.Arthur

Why, what did she tell you?Ford

I don't know, I didn't listen.Arthur

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and missHGTG

If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?Arthur

We're safe.Ford

Oh good.Arthur

We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.Ford

Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of. Arthur

"Just stop panicking!"

"Who said anything about panicking?" snapped Arthur. "This is still just the culture shock. You wait till I've settled down into the situation and found my bearings. Then I'll start panicking." HGTG

"Right," said Ford, "I'm going to have a look."

He glanced round at the others.

"Is no one going to say, 'No you can't possibly, let me go instead'?"

They all shook their heads. HGTG

"Listen, three eyes," he said, "Don't you try to outweird me. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal."Zaphod

Just wait a sodding minute! You want a question that goes with the answer for 42? Well how about what's six times seven? Or how many Vogons does it take to change a lightbulb? Here's one! How many roads must a man walk down? Arthur

Hey, that's not bad!Mouse 1

Fine. Fine, take it. Because my head is filled with questions and I can assure you no answer to any one of them has ever brought me one iota of happiness. Except for one. The one. The only question I've ever wanted an answer to - is she the one? The answer bloody well isn't forty-two, it's yes. Undoubtedly, unequivocally, unabashadly yes. And for one week, one week in my sad little blip of an existence, it made me happy. Arthur

That's a good answer... Trillian

Rubbish, we don't want to be happy, we want to be famous!Mouse 1

Yeah! What is all this "is she the one" tripe? Mouse 2

Take his brain!"Mouse 1

Normality? We can talk about normality until the cows come home.Arthur

What is normal? Ford

What is home?Trillian

What're cows?Zaphod

The Complete And Utter Wonders Of P.S.s:

23/7/07: I'm back! I don't know for how long, but after I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I was inspired to write a little oneshort heralding the end of a very long chapter of my life. After that, who knows? I might just disappear into obscurity again. Enjoy the new story everyone.

Evi