Hi, I'm Paige and the stories I'm going to be writing are going to be cliche if you couldn't tell from my penname. So thanks!

Now for some copy paste things.

-Time tells the truth

-Before you criticize you should walk a mile in their shoes. that way. when you criticize them you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

-Luck never gives: it only lends - Ancient Chinese proverb

-Wish for what you want...work for what you need

-Sometimes you're the wind shield...sometimes you're the bug.

-What you do speaks so loudly...that i can not here what you say.

-I don't need to be careful. I have a gun! - homer simpson

- i'm not lying...i'm writing fiction with my mouth - homer simpson

-When you love someone you can tell...when you're in love with someone, every one else can.

-They laugh because im different...i laugh because they're the same.

-Fear is the heart of love.

-A good friend will comfort you when you're boyfriend breaks up with you...but a best friend will go up to him and ask "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

-I'd rather be hated for who i am the loved for who i'm not.

-The TRUTH is that everyone's going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.

-You shall no the truth and the truth shall make you mad- Aldous Huxley

- Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.- Vernon Law

-Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

- Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

-Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.

-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

-If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up.

-Never trust a squirrel...he'll bite your nuts.

-I'm psycho but in a good way

-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

-BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!

- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

- "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

- Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

-I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay!!

- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- He who laughs last didn't get it.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it.

-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

-I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

-I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

ThInGs To PoNdEr:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

technically after midnight it's
morning, then why do we call it the middle of the night? shouldn't we call it
something like the early morning:-D- (By: RockstarLife)

hmm...

TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work:

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk.
1. " ... AMEN!"

I have always wondered why men never or seldom help women work in the kitchen, but when it comes to cooking with a barbecue outdoors, men quickly grab the opportunity. Then it hit me - Men are less evolved.--from a battle of the genders joke site...they're funny.

:¨·.·¨:
·. EDWARD

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