If you're a Yaoi fan and proud of it then copy this to your profile.

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Repost this if you are one of the 8 percent who would be laughing your ass off.(Err I don't even know who Abercombie and Fitch are...)

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name I always change my penname tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, EmmettCullenFan, Bella Masen Cullen, Me Love Edward Cullyou, SilverMoonArcher,forbiddenkitsunegoddess13, Howl To The Moon, Nayeli, mochiusagi, darkablino, Riza Mustang103, MangaFreak15, SasoxDeilover, Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai,AkatsukiFan, TheDevilsAngel93 xD, krakengirl, Destiny Writes, Unwritten.25 Vert9411, CherryBlossoms016,Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover-,pinkcherryblossoms225 crimsonchidori, SasukeSakuraxXXxItachiSakura, Angry Fox Girl,Setsugekka, AkaneUchiha,onihime-san,Moonlightkittypaw,KonekoKitsune33, crimsonphoenix13 and hoshigawa ren are obsessed with fan fiction

If you know (a) video game character(s) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. The irony...

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, blissfulmeme, AkatsukiReverie,EmoLollipop, Deidara-Kun-Fangirl, KillerLiger3000, moonlit fang, chibi kyuu-chan, Ragnorokrising, MangaFreak15,SasoxDeilover, me? - I'd like to say I'd react like that, but I'm not too sure...

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, loop-de-loop-ride, wfea, PotterPhan21, Alucard's Vampiress, sazza-da-vampire, FlyingShadow666, Kit572, SasoxDeilover, me - now that one I can get behind 100 %

I'M SKINNY so I MUST be anorexic

I'M EMO so I MUST cut my wrists

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun

I'm BLONDE so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat

I'm ATHEIST, so i MUST hate the world

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I TAKE(or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a big DICK

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I MUST be a TERRORIST!!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO

I'm Brazilian, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be prude I am about the furthest thing from a prude you are ever going to meet...

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE, so I MUST be violent

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly..or crazy

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot

I'm a GIRL WHO ACTUALLY EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly

I'm ASIAN so I MUST be a NERD who does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals

I'm MIXED so I MUST be fed up

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork

I'm BLACK, so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH, so I MUST worship the devil

I Love SHOPPING, so I MUST be rich

I'm an OG so I MUST be Mexican

I don't EAT very often, so I MUST be anorexic

I'm a SOCCER player so I MUST take things ta the face DAILY

I'm not RICH so I MUST steal to get the things I have

If you are against prejudices copy this into your profile

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile

25 Things I Learnt From My Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your nec k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

America's Intelligence:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(now, somebody out there, please help me on this. I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

-xXx-

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

-xXx-

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to berry the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Can't catch me!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: will encourage your choices in life

BEST FRIENDS: will write them down for black mail.

Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
Things get worse under pressure.

The Murphy Philosophy
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.

Quantization Revision of Murphy's Laws
Everything goes wrong all at once.

Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value

Murphy's Law of Research
Enough research will tend to support whatever theory researched. Research supports a specific theory depending on the amount of funds dedicated to it. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.

Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

Everything takes longer than you think.

Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

Every solution breeds new problems.

The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.

No matter how perfect things are made to appear, Murphy's law will take effect and screw it up.

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

It's impossible to make any plan foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They punch, kick and choke harder too. - Murphy's Cops Laws

Never go to bed with anyone crazier then you. - Murphy's War Laws

When you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in the combat zone. - War Laws

Military Intelligence is a contradiction. - War Laws

Weather ain't neutral. - War Laws

Mines are an equal opportunity weapon. - War Laws

To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence. - War Laws

Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything. - War Laws

Murphy was an extreme optimist!

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

Girl asks boy:

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you die for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't die for you is because I would live for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

Man: Have I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, whats your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked I'd die laughing.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u next to i
Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

How wrong is this!!

Not Mine!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Repost this if you think homophobia is wrong.

Drunk Driving is bad!

Not Mine!

She was drinking at a party
On a raging New Year's Eve
She had to be home early
She knew she had to leave

"Honey do you need a ride"
Her boyfriend sweetly said
She just smiled back at him
And quickly shook her head

"I've got to leave right now
So I'll just take my car...
But don't you worry, sweetheart
Cause I won't drive too far"

Unaware she'd been drinking,
He watched her drive away
She knew that this was wrong
But she did it anyway
"I only had a couple drinks
I know that I'll survive"
She kept saying in her head
As she went for this short drive

The alcohol took over her
She wasn't thinking straight
She assumed that there was no one
Who'd be driving out this late

She ran all of the stop lights
As she sped along the road
Never thinking of the pain
This night would soon behold

But out of nowhere, came a car
She screamed as headlights flashed
She flew out of the windshield
As both of their cars crashed

She woke up laying on the ground
Sirens screaming in the night
She was bleeding quite a bit
But she knew she'd be alright

With dread, she saw the other car
That had rolled down the hill
She knew this was her fault
As she started feeling ill

But when she saw the body
Tears started falling down
As she looked down to find
Her dead boyfriend on the ground

--XXX—

Drunk Driving again

I went to a party
and remembered what you said;
You told me not to drink, Mum,
So I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
the way you said I would;
That I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
and your advice to me was right;
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
sure to get home in one piece;
I never knew what was coming, Mum,
something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
and I hear the policeman say;
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mum, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's around me,
as I try hard not to cry;
I can hear the paramedic say,
"this girl is going to die".

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
while he was flying high;
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.

So, why do people do it, Mum,
knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mum,
tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put "daddy's girl" on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
that its wrong to drink and drive;
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mum,
I'm getting really scared;
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mum,
as I lie here and die;
I wish I could say "I love you Mum!"
So I love you and goodbye.

Remember: NEVER drink and drive!

Not Mine

Stop Child Abuse!

Hush, little sister
Please don't cry
I wish I could be there
To sing you a lullaby

I can see your arms
Bloodied and bruised
That's strange, little sister
Mine were like that too

I know you scream
When Daddy's there
Hush, little sister
I know you're scared

I can see the way
He's hurting you
I'm sorry, little sister
He did that to me too

I know that people
Ignore what's going on at home
That makes me angry, little sister
You shouldn't have to be alone

Hey, little sister
You wanna know why I'm not there?
It's a sad story, little sister
But people should care

You see, little sister
One day Daddy got high
You were asleep in your crib
So you didn't hear my cry

He screamed at me
And smashed my head against the door
While you slept, little sister
I died on the floor

You know, little sister
I don't think that I would have died
If someone had only bothered
To listen to my cries

But hush, little sister
Daddy's coming home
Quick, get into bed
You don't want him to find you alone

I'm sorry little sister
He's in a bad mood
Run while you can

Uh oh little sister
He's lifting his belt
Scream while you can, little sister
Call for help

Hush little sister
You don't need to cry
No one can hurt you
You're in my arms tonight.

My name is Misty
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have
Made my Daddy so mad?

I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly
Then maybe my Mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.

When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks are not home
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound,
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall

I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says it's my fault
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!" I scream
But it's now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor

My name is Misty
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me

Her name was Aurora
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool , and when he pulled the trigger back

It shot with a great crack! Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much, and please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest, mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class, and never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this, mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest, mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live, but mummy I must go now the time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date , I love you mummy I always have, I know you know it's true

Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you", In memory of the Columbian students that were lost

Please if you would, pass this around, I'd be happy if you could

Don't smash this on the ground, if you pass this on, maybe people will cry

Just keep this in heart, for the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

True Story:

There once was a man. He had one son and lived a great life. He had no wife, because he was homosexual, but he was as normal as any other person. One day he was riding home from work, when he pulled over suddenly. He was having a heart-attack.

Luckily a police officer noticed his sudden stop and came over, then called paremedics. When the paremedics came he was in need of immediate attention. The paramedics were about to put him on a strecher and help him, but the officer who knew him, thought that because he was gay he had AIDS. He also said that they would get AIDS from touching him. So they just were at a lost as to what to do. The officer should have known that AIDS was a sexually transmitted disease and could not be passed by touching and that just becuase he was gay, didnt mean he had the disease. The two paramedics really should have helped, but were to afraid to disobey the officer.

(I got this like most else from another profile so I don't know if it really is true but it could very well be so I reposted it.)

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites,
and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun
marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs
more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role
at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents
to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to
cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalizing gay marriage!

Quotes:

'I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day, and tomorrow does not look good either.'

'May God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and a big bag of money.'

'Cute but evil. Things even out.'

'You're ugly, and that's sad.'

'I'm not mean. You're just a sissy.'

'I know how you feel. I just don't care.'

'Plotting revenge is fun.'

'School prepares you for the real world, which sucks.'

'Hating you makes me feel warm inside.'

'It's okay if you want to drop dead.'

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face

I hear your silence loud and clear

Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable

Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

Boys are like knives, useful but they'll cut you eventually

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Help I've fallen and I cant...hey nice carpet!

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive

Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.

Life's Tough, get a helmet

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

The cops never find it as funny as you do

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and poste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and poste this onto your profile.

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and poste this onto your profile.

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love reading really long books just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves" song copy this into your profile!

If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile

If you ever get a random urge to start screaming copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.

A ittle girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

It's always the last place you look... Well duh!! Why would I keep looking after I found it?! Well actually I was searching for something, found it and thought of this, and decided to search a bit longer...

Don't follow in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Someday my prince will come. He just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

-If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the frick'n trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

-AV is Addicted to Vampires

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing

When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him

Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still likes you.

Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you.

Don't be so humble - you're not that great.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

The best things in the world are free -- and worth every penny of it.

Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind.

My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features.windows: 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...

Emo kids have cool hair.

EMO = Extravagantly Made Origami

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Let's flip a coin. Heads, We'll be together, tails, we'll flip again.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Why are the Force and ducktape the same? Both have a light and a dark side and hold the universe together.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'l die and it will all be YOUR FAULT.

Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

I don't suffer from insanity, i enjoy every minute of it.

Don't frown, even when you're sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I love you. I was doing fine until I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed and permanently set.

The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

A smile is the shortest distance between two people

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic ... maybe we should have amateurs build everything.

Music is love in search of word.

It's a fusion of Jazz and funk - is it called 'Junk'?

If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?

Are children who act in 'R' rated moves allowed to see them?

Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow ans say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?

Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?'

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable if chocolate comes from the cocoa bean and all beans are vegetables?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?

Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?

When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade.

Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.

Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much. (Oscar Wilde)

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

He said, "I love you" , I laughed and said, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit."

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you - I might want to offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

I ran with scissors and lived!

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

Come join the dark side. (We have Edward Cullen)

I joined the dark side. They lied about the cookies!

All the good ones are either gay or straight (let's not discriminate against the homosexuals here), married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way

My heart is not a playground

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the compliment.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

Love can come in many different colours.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really good at one thing, staying strong.

I would say "screw you" but I think to many people already have.

I am really trying to imagine you with a personality. Oops, I can't.

Not the brightest crayon in the box, now, are we

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

You're a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal.

Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
God made me beautiful,
What happened to you?

'Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
What the heck am I doing,
Talking to you?'

Roses are red,
violets are black,
please go to hell,
and never come back.

List 5 reasons why I shouldn't talk to you. And then read them over and over.

If stupidity was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.

Just because your paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives (or electricity).

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. - Samuel LevensonThe word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and stare at it forever.

It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Warning: Survivors will be shot again.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

This is not something to be tossed away lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them on the head.

"It takes 46 muscles to frown, but it only takes four to flip 'em the bird."

I'm a nobody. Nobody's perfect. Therefore, that makes me perfect.

I get plenty of exercise: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

EXCUSE ME!! I have PMS and a gun...You were saying?

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit!

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it.

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning 'to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet'. - Robin Williams

Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you're up to. - Fuji Shusuke, Prince of Tennis

I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I'm on my last one.

I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice in the eyes of your enemies.

When life gives you lemons, read them and drool.

I don't fight with idiots; they bring me to their level then beat me with experience.

What!! Is it so wrong to be attracted to the guys who want to destroy mankind?!

Knowledge is power, power corrupts, study hard, be evil.

I'm just here to chew bubble gum and kick ass...and I'm out of bubble gum. - Seto Kaiba

I'm better than normal, I'm abnormal.

I'd explain it to you, but you're brains would explode.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Winston Churchill.

The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match it for me at kick boxing.

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

"One should never come between a Saiyajin and food. You'll accomplish nothing, and the Saiyajin might become homicidal." - Shin, DBZ

"Can I still be the scourge of vampire kind while I'm sleeping with the head bloodsucker? You bet." Anita Blake - the Killing Dance

"There is nothing like ruining the calm of a hundred-year-old vampire to boost a girl's morale." Anita Blake

"Murphy's law is the only true dependable thing in my life most of the time." Anita Blake

"No one was shooting at me yet. I was encouraged by that." - Anita Blake

"Paranoia is just another word for longevity." - Anita Blake

Anita: "Jesus, are all vampires over two hundred perverts?" Jean-Claude: "I am over two hundred." Anita: "I rest my case."

"We might shoot each other one fine day, but we'd never sleep together. He was more interested in the fresh burn than my breasts." Anita on Edward

"Most women complain that there are no single straight men left. I'd just like to meet one that's human." Anita - Circus of the Damned

"Never take your eyes off the vampire in front of you to glance at the werewolf behind you. One problem at a time." Anita Blake

"You don't volunteer to slugfests with vampires. It shortens your life expectancy." Anita Blake

Anita: "You irritating son of a bitch." Jean-Claude: "Ah, ma petite, how can I resist you when you whisper such sweet endearments to me?"

"I never forgave anyone for anything. A character flaw to be sure, but hell, everyone's got to have one."

"Killing I understand. Relationships confuse me."

"I'm your bodyguard. If you die under my protection the other bodyguards will make fun of me." Edward to Anita

Simon: "I hope that monster guts you, bitch." Anita: "Thats Ms. Bitch to you."

Gabrielle: "I'm looking for my best friend. Maybe you've seen her? Six feet tall, dark hair, lots of leather, fights like the Harpies in a bad mood? Her name's Xena."

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. - Socrates

Executing a plan takes one part patience, one part strategy, and two parts dumb luck. - Unknown

Now don't you stand for that! If somebody tries to kill you, you try and kill 'em right back! - Firefly

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? - Abraham Lincoln

This is the crack team that foils my every plot?! I am deeply ashamed. - Spike, BtVS

He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Whoever said sunshine brings happiness never danced in the pouring rain.

Books are always better than real, live boyfriends any day of the week. They don't talk back and they're always there for you. You can have as many of them as you want and they won't complain.

Rule #9: When faced with the unknown, go with your instincts. Xander: "You don't know how to kill this thing?" Buffy: "I thought I might try violence." Xander: "Solid call."

Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk. - Andy Gibbs

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver - and a lot more accessible.

I'm out of bed and dressed! What more do you want?

I'm out of my mind. Please leave a message.

I've been given sugar! Use this time to prepare for the end of the world!

Welcome Strangers, you must be cold//Stay a while, the day grows old//Be not afraid, no dangers near//Just recall, we're all mad here.

Admit nothing, deny everything, demand proof - then blame a Private.

My doctor says I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes. - Douglas Adams

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

"You smell of other people's blood, ma petite." I smiled at him, sweetly. "It was no one you knew." Anita Blake.

Stupidity isn't punishable by death. If it was there would be a hell of a population drop. - Anita Blake

I wanted to wipe the grin off his face with a fist. I resisted the urge. Who says I have no self-control? - Anita Blake

Forgive your enemies but never, never forget their names.

"What's your connection to him, Harry? What's your role in this?"

This was what Athena needed to know. She knew of Harry's connection, but she didn't know what, exactly, it was. Her familiar couldn't tell her for some reason. Athena needed to know if Harry was working for or against Voldemort. After his words, she could easily guess which side the boy was on, but she had to be absolutely positive. She watched as Harry smiled a smile that was cold and cruel, that she'd seen on Ares' face when he went into a battle that he knew he'd win, and have fun doing so. She'd seen that smile on Hades' face when he got a particularly nasty soul that he would get to punish for eternity. And she saw that smile on Heras' face when she got the best of Zeus.

"My role? I get to kill him." - HP, from Consort to War - fanfic

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

In theory, everything works.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

If a mute child swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

I am a peaceful person that is filled with violent rage.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Keep your friends close, keep your enemies tied up with fishing wire in your basement.

If at first you don't succeed - cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

Consciousness - that annoying time between naps.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

"The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841-1935)

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

"If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination."

"A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station... "

"Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up."

"Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway"

"Fuji-senpai, even robbers have something called survival instincts. You could walk covered in money through the park at midnight and still be safer than a babe in its crib." the younger boy scoffed. "That's not very nice, kitten." "But very true, good night, senpai." - Fuji and Ryoma - Enigmatic Prey

"A conscience does not prevent sin, it only prevents you from enjoying it."

"Don't upset me. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."

"God must love stupid people, he made so many."

" Everyone is ignorant, only on different subjects"

"Never explain yourself. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it."

"If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them."

"God gave them a penis and a brain but not enough blood to use both at the same time..."

"Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt."

"Complaining is good for you as long as you're not complaining to the person you're complaining about."

'There is nothing as irrational, dangerous and illogical as an Uchiha in denial'.

"Potter Luck remember? Harry gets into a life or death situation and something just happens to occur in the nick of time to save him. Addendum to Potter's Luck: There is no such thing as serendipity. All good or seemingly trivial things come back and bite Potters in the arse. Hard."Addendum Two: There is no such thing as coincidence." - Harry Potter, forgot which fic

"Can you switch gears, or are you stuck on stupid?" (Unknown)

Silence decided that it wanted its throne back. (Arrg! I know I read just this in a fanfic recently. It bothers me that I can’t remember where!!)

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” –Herm Albright

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you. OMG I knew it!!

Stress: A condition caused by repressing the body's desire to strangle the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.

If I won't be myself, who will?

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

I'm awesome. Agree or die.

An essay is an attempt to explain something that could have been said in two sentences

I Know Violence Isn't The Answer, I Got It Wrong On Purpose

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

Whatever is eating you...must be suffering horribly

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

'Do you Know why I chose him as my partner? So I wouldn't have to fight him myself. He's more cutthroat than I am in battle and utterly ruthless' - Hiei (YYH)

'If you can't convince them, confuse them.'- Harry S. Truman

"If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression. XD"

"Well, the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck."

"I hear voices... They said they don't like you."

15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

271. 23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

272. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Mental anxiety, mental breakdown, menstrual cramps, menopause, did you realize how all our problems begin with MEN!

"Don't think of it as Voldemort, think of it as a leather upholstered Chihuahua," -Harry, Oswald the Ottoman by lunakatrina

"...we've found that while explosives are not the answer to all problems, the number of situations where they can't be used effectively in some fashion is extremely limited.” -Fred, Harry Potter and the Sun Source by Clell65619

. ...the stewardess had offered them both crayons and colouring books to keep them occupied during the flight. Naruto had refused his, but Sasuke had accepted and had spent the following hour drawing a precisely anatomically correct image of someone with a startling similarity in appearance to the stewardess being disembowelled by a three-year-old wielding a sharpened crayon. Itachi had to credit the boy’s ingenuity, but he hoped that Sasuke would not attempt to repeat such methods – crayons were very unwieldy weapons and so difficult to get clean afterwards. -Mahou no Shinobi by shinigami-lives

Lily and James Potter, meanwhile, paid it no mind and in no way was this a prophetic sign from some godly power, warning them of the threat in their midst. This was mostly because, for one, the powers that be had a terrible sense of direction and no access to a workable GPS; therefore the freak weather occurred two countries away. Two, the new Potter parents just had a baby for goodness sake! Some rain was the least of their concern (no matter how many casualties were involved).

All in all, Harry Potter was a bouncing, happy, pink little thing. The apple of his parents eye, and loved unconditionally by his godfather. Life was good. Life was simple. Life was now inhabited by a demon spawn from the depths of Hell, but that's just a technicality. Necromancers_Anonymous by The Iza
-that one is soo funny! that was just the beginning!!

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that G od doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."Lynn Lavner

May God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things that I can, And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people that I killed because they pissed me off.

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