"I knew you'd understand! That's why you were my instinctive choice as a significant other," Alex happily declared. John felt a flicker of annoyance that once again, Alexander unapologetically took whatever he want without considering others, but the irritation was quickly washed away by the excited puppy-dog look on Alex's face. or: that fake-dating au, minus the fake part.

"You're not good enough to lick the dirt off my shoe." famous last words.