About the Authors

All of the stories that are submitted to this page are written by two slightly crazy people, each taking turns to write a line of the story. To put it shortly, don't expect any of this to be good or make sense.

Disclaimer - We own nothing, only our strawberries.

HonorThyStrawberries Theology

1. What happens when you die.

If you are a person who led a good life, loved strawberries and honored them properly, you will ascend to Strawberry Heaven, or as some sects shorten it, Strawtopia. Once in Strawtopia the persons soul is transformed into juicy, red, strawberry and they become a strawberry angel, a sweet, fruity guardian of the earth and the afterlife.

If you were a bad person, who detested and abused their strawberries you will be cast into the eternal torment of Frank the Zombies's Stomach. Those in Frank's Stomach suffer the pain of eternally being digested.

If you never tried strawberries or felt neutral or uninspired by them, you are sent to the endless milky river of fruit loops. In the milky river you will have twenty years to see the light, and ascend to Strawtopia. However, if in that time you fail to see the way of the Strawberry, you will be cast into Frank's Stomach. You may also be rescued from the milky river by a strawberry angel, who has enough desire to save you that they will search the endless river, as it is believed that the love of a true strawberry believer is reason enough for redemption. However, a person may never be rescued from Frank's Stomach. Any strawberry angels that attempt to rescue lost souls from Frank's Stomach will be trapped there themselves, and will also have to suffer an eternity of digestion.

2. Asking Questions

Find yourself asking questions? If so use this parable as a model is your search for wisdom and comfort.

-Are you hungry?
-Yes
-Do you want to order a pizza?
-Yes
-Do you want strawberries with that?
-Yes. Honor be to strawberry.

This model can work in almost any situation, from computer programming to meal time decisions.