Welcome friends and enemies my name is Jzis. Here is some minor data on guess who, ME!

Name: This is confiential information only the FBI Knows HEE HEE!

Age: 15

DOB: June 24

Likes: Naruto, Girls, Bleach, Girls, Anime, Sex

Dislikes: Yaoi, anime haters, pussy ass niggas, and instagators

Sex: Yes please I mean who would refuse?

Racisim

A black man and white man were both in a store one day.

"Colored people should not be allowed here," the white man said to the black man. The black man turneed to him with raised eyebrows.

"Listen sir," he finally said, "when I was born I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I'm sick I'm BLACK, when I go in the sun I'm BLACK, when I'm cold I'm BLACK, when I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK, when you grew up you were WHITE, when you're sick GREEN, when you go in the sun you turn RED, when you're cold you're BLUE and when you die you'll be PURPLE. You have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man turned back around, and the very flustered white man walked away...Post this on your profile if you hate racisim

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done!

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son

then copy and paste this in your profile

~Jesus:~

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Little Sayings

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

My best friends are the kind, that if my house was on fire, they'd be roasting marshmellows and flirting with the firemen. But you gotta love 'em, right?

GOOD FRIENDS will help you up when you're down. BEST FRIENDS will laugh and push you down again.

GOOD FRIENDS will ask you why you're crying. BEST FRIENDS will already have a shovel, ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

Whoever said that nothing was impossible clearly never tried to slam a revolving door.

The only reason some people get lost in thought is becaus eit's unfamiliam territory.

You should always speak the truth. Unless you are a very good liar.

A wise person will make mroe opportunites they they find.

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Lack of money in not a obstacle. Lack of idea is a obstacle.

Boys are like trees. They take 50 years to grow up.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the people you hate.

It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with.

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?

Boys are like slinkeys. Completely useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!!

Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what your up too...

Children! You spend 2 years teaching them how to walk and talk, and then you spend the rest of your life telling them to sit down and shut up.

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

When it rains on my party, I pull out the slip and slide!

Of course I talk to myself. Who else can I trust?

364 days a year, parents tell children not to take candy from strangers. On Halloween, they tell us to go wild. What's up with that?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away if well aimed.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!

To the world you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world.

They key to becoming a well liked person is to keep the people who hate you away from the peopl who are still undecided.

The real hero is always a hero by mistake.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned in life: It goes on.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

One day we're going to look back on this, laugh nervously and then change the subject.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just off a bridge, damn. I'm gonna miss your dumb ass.

We're best friends. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a bridge, I laugh harder.

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Jonah. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Jonah.

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

A good friend will bail you out of jail, while a best friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going "We fucked up, huh? Oh well. When we're out of here, wanna do it again?!"

A day without light is, well, night

If Barbie is so popular then why do you have to buy her friends?

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

If anyone here is telekinetic, raise my hand.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart; but best friends only poke eachother with straws.

Copy and Paste

25 Things my wonderful Mother taught me!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

10 COMMANDMENTS OF A TEENAGER

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)

2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper!)

3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)

4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect, and it's a lot more fun!)

5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandparents have more money!)

6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them, and watch the fun...)

7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)

8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)

9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(Like Nike says, "Just do it")

10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave them in the middle!)

Hahahaha! Being a teenager is the best, right?