The United States of Alfred
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Joined 10-14-11, id: 3340872, Profile Updated: 03-30-12
Author has written 1 story for Fruits Basket.

WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF WALMART!

1. 'Test' the fishing poles

2. Leave a trail of tomato juice from the bathroom

3. Enter the dressing room and yell "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"

4. Go up to some old guy and say "Grandpa! I thought you were dead!"

5. Look for a guy that has a girl beside him and say "Who is this?" and when he says that he doesn't know who you are say " Oh, so that's how it is. Well, whatever we had is now over you cheating liar". Then run away crying.

6. Put a wet floor sign in a carpeted area

7. When the guards chase you, try to get to the aisle where they sell chainsaws and grab one. then go to the toy aisle and grab a teddy bear and say "Stop or the bear get's it."

8. Grab a toy sword and run around yelling '' FOR NARNIA!". Then find an old lady and say "AH! IT'S THE WHITE WITCH! SOMEONE GET ASLAN!"

9. Get a toy gun and walk around singing "Secret Agent Man, Secret Agent Man

10. If they catch you kick'em in the groin and say "Thats for my mom."

11. Release all the balls and say "GO PIKACHU! I CHOOSE YOU!"

12. Find some Yu-Gi-Oh cards and walk up to random people saying " IT'S TIME TO DUEL!"

13. Do the Hara Hara Yukai in the men's bathroom if you're a girl, do it in the girl's bathroom is you're a boy.

14. Attach a walkie talkie to an Elmo and make it say "Elmo has mommy." in a demonic vocie whenever a kid ( that's alone) walks towards it.

15. Sing shigure's high school girl song whenever some girl walks by.

Random Quotes:


You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

If you've ever done or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends, but made strangers look at you strangley, copy this on to your profile.

If you think being unique is more important than being cool, repost this.

When it rains on my parade, i bust out a Slip'n'Slide.

Some say the glass is half full, others say it's half empty, all i want to know is who's drinking my water!

Hate is easily. Love takes courage.

A word to the wise isn't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I walk into walls.

One of the saddest things in the world is loving someone who used to love you.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

I know it's going to be a bad day when i fall out of bed and miss the floor.

If you've ever had a crush on a anime character copy and repost this.

If you've ever threatened a computer repost this.

I dont suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question copy and repost this.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was not match for me at kickboxing!

A good friend picks you up when you fall down. A best friend picks you up, and then trips you again.

I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

There is noting wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you lose the argument that it becomes weird.

Hate: A special kind of love we give to the people who suck.

The only sane people are the ones willing to admit they'er crazy.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.

I ran with scissors and lived! i also got stabbed with them by my stupid cousin!

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HM Hetalia Messaging by komodo.dragon2 reviews
Message the hetalia characters! All of the characters are ready to HM you back! Sealand is the host! Rated T for France's sake
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 824 - Reviews: 319 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 5/5/2014 - Published: 10/12/2011
Wings by sukikuro reviews
"People ask me a lot why I love him. Why I spend so much time chasing him when he never returns my feelings. It's because I see something they don't." Series of oneshots. SpainRomano AntonioLovino
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 15,144 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 6/13/2013 - Published: 12/19/2011 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain
Hetalianess by jmp22895 reviews
This is just the kind of random hetalia idiocy that pops into my head. Nothing linear. Nothing too sensical. No real topic, whatever. Note: each of these could really be oneshots unless there are roman numerals.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 27,859 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 4/24/2013 - Published: 1/25/2011
The Cruelest Temptations by eeveeluv reviews
Yaoi! L and Light are left alone on L's hotel room. Light can't seem to fight his temptations... and neither can L. Oneshot!
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,582 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 19 - Published: 10/3/2012 - Light Y., L - Complete
Secret Love by Ms.AwesomePrussia reviews
A new student goes to Lovino's school and he claims to know him. What? Who is this mysterious person and why is he so hot? READ AND FIND OUT BoyxBoy no like no read. SpainxRomano and some GermanyxItaly UsxUk and others :P Rated for Lovi's language.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,716 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/15/2012 - Published: 2/20/2012 - Spain, S. Italy/Romano
100 Ways To Annoy Romano by LordofAmus reviews
A list of 100 Ways to Annoy Romano. Please R&R. See my profile for 100 Ways to Annoy Germany and England.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,208 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/21/2012 - S. Italy/Romano - Complete
don't love me, i love you by SakuraHawke reviews
romano doesn't think him and spain can be together! well, we'll see about that boys love! don't like, don't read. R&R is appreciated. human names used. T cuz Romano wouldn't be Romano if it wasn't
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,538 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 4/7/2012 - Published: 7/26/2011 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain - Complete
Spanish Breeze by SilentShisou reviews
Romano and Spain have been in love for a while now, but both are nervous to confess. With one avoiding the other it's hard to tell anymore. Will one night and one adventure change that? Birthday fic for X-BeyondMadness13. Oneshot, read? Reviews are 3!
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,098 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/2/2012 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain - Complete
APH magic by LoviROMA17 reviews
England, America, Italy, Romano, Spain, Prussia and France go to theire 5th year at Hogwarts. Harry is not really happy haveing new transfers, neither is Dumbledore but he is determined to find out who these misterious teens are. I suck at xUK
Crossover - Harry Potter & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,020 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 3/29/2012 - Published: 12/13/2011 - England/Britain
Guidance for Lovi by finnysea reviews
Meet Antonio, the cheerful Spaniard and Lovino the grumpy Italian! What will occur when the teens are forced to spend every other afternoon together? Who are these random teens who keep breaking in on the story? I do not own Hetalia!
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,535 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/27/2012 - Published: 2/27/2012 - Spain, S. Italy/Romano
Just a Simple Word by RebelAngelMist reviews
It was a single word that changed Lovino's life. If he hadn't uttered that word, he would have never been introduced to yaoi fangirls, bro-battles, the word "tsundere", and a Spaniard named Antonio with the most amazing smile. Spamano AU High school
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,954 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 3/24/2012 - Published: 3/23/2012 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain
Unification by sukikuro reviews
Every country has something that keeps them sane. I had him. And now he's gone. Sad little Spamano drabble. Enjoy. R&R
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 708 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/10/2012 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain
Aquaphobia by LizardTongues reviews
A look into Lovino Vargas's life after a traumatizing childhood incident makes him develop a crippling fear of water.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,541 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 26 - Published: 3/1/2012 - Spain, S. Italy/Romano
100 Ways to Annoy England by LordofAmus reviews
A list of 100 ways to annoy England. I do not own Hetalia. Please R&R.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,190 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/13/2012 - England/Britain - Complete
The Unknown Zodiac Member! by PlainBrownEyedWriter reviews
Sakura is a girl with a lot of secrets that only a few people know about. She can't tell anyone about it not even Kyo, her secret crush! Will her secrets be revealed? Secrets,Humour,Adventure and Romance all in one! Kyo/OC Yuki/Tohru Shigure/Mii COMPLETED
Fruits Basket - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 16 - Words: 29,220 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 12/21/2011 - Published: 7/20/2011 - Kyo S. - Complete
Stupid, Stupid Love by jmp22895 reviews
Romano decides he never wants to fall in love. Heck, who would love him back anyway? But Spain, hearing Romano's plight, decides to help Romano find love! ...oh wait...
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 24,090 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 12/11/2011 - Published: 7/22/2011 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain - Complete
Chasing An Empty Dream by jmp22895 reviews
Germany realizes he has feelings for Italy...just in time to learn that Italy is still in love with someone else. Just who the hell is this Holy Roman Empire guy anyway? Germany's determined to learn more about the kid who stole Italy's heart...
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 48,252 - Reviews: 654 - Favs: 1,178 - Follows: 325 - Updated: 6/7/2011 - Published: 4/14/2011 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
A Little National Brotherly Love by X-Hayze-chan-X reviews
A nice, shameless Itacest lemon.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,854 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 375 - Follows: 56 - Published: 2/16/2010 - N. Italy, S. Italy/Romano - Complete
But Its Better If You Do by Chemically Unstable Disco reviews
I've been tellin myself to post this for ages! It's a Panic At THe DIsco Rydon one shot. Enjoy!
X-overs - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 759 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/26/2008 - Complete
kisa's life reviews
kisa is being bullied at school because of the way she looks
Fruits Basket - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 125 - Reviews: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/21/2011 - Kisa S., Hiro S.