Mrs.Whitlock Wannabe
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Joined 04-10-09, id: 1896408, Profile Updated: 02-25-11
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Hey fellow fan-fictioners

My name is Jess but on here, I'm Mrswhitlockwannabe! (Team Jasper all the way!!) I'm 15 years old and I'm from the UK, I love writing and I hope you all love reading my stories!!

Oh btw my best friend is an author on here so pretty pretty please with bubble gum cherries on top read her work – her name is DayDreamer2639 and she is awesome!

Laters

Jess AKA Mrswhitlockwannabe

xxx


I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, chocoholic4eva, Isabella Maria Swan, Lady Lily of Darkness, readingforever13, MrsWhitlockWannabe

List 10 characters from your favourite book randomly:

1) Jasper

2) Alice

3) Angela

4) Esme

5) Carlisle

6) Seth

7) Jacob

8) Emmett

9) Rosalie

10) Bella

Would you think 4/6 would make a good pairing?

Umm Esme and Seth….. no just no. runs and hides under table

What would you think would happen if 5 walked in on a "private" moment between 6/7?

-Um if Jessica walked in on a private moment between Carlisle and Mike, I personally think that she would be scarred for life and run away screaming...

Write the translation: 9/7 go hunting and are attacked by 6/2. 3/8 are painting 5's car pink and purple, 5 comes home and rips 8's head off while 3 runs off laughing. 2/4 fall in love and 7 walks in on a personal moment, 4 punches 7 in the face and 7/4 have a slapping fight. 2 sneaks away and runs off to 1/9, who are annoying the crap out of each other by flicking each others ears. 10 comes in and says "You brought a Barbie doll yay!" and runs away with 8.

5/2 fall in love.

Carlisle and Alice fall in love? I’m sure Jasper and Esme would object

7 loves 8 but secretly wants to get together with 3.

Jacob love Emmett but secretly wants to get it together with Angela? That. Is. Just. Plain. Wrong.

Would you ever read a 2/3 pairing story?

Angela and Alice pairing? Um no why would I?

Have you ever read a story with 2/5 before?

No I have NEVER read a Carlisle/Alice fanfic before. Do they even exist??


I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I'm a YOUNG WRITER so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you...

-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.

-Always proofread to make you sure you don’t any words out.

-Love me or hate me personally I could care less

-Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me

-You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then.

-I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : )

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it's already tomorrow in Australia." ~ Charles Schulz

"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?" ~ Anonymous

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7 When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Stuff That Makes You Think

· What disease did cured ham have?

· Why do we say we "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every hour and a half?

· Why are they called marbles if they're made out of glass?

· What color hair do bald men put on their driver's license?

· How do you throw away a garbage can?

· When two airplanes almost collide, why is it a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be a "near hit"?

· Why do we shut up, but quiet down?

· How did the "Keep off the Grass" sign get there in the first place?

Regular lions say ROAARR. Angry lions say BLARGAROARIMMAEATYOU. Sad lions say roooaaar. Mountain lions say: OMGEDWARDCULLENRUN!

Congratulations! You’ve reached the end. If you read everything, get a cookie from my cookie jar. But if you didn’t read everything yet you stole a cookie… I’ll hunt you down. And demand a refund. And then proceed to kick your butt. So don’t bother stealing… I’m watching you… and so is my evil pet monkey Mojo

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Princess of Darkness by Random Dice reviews
They were all mythical. Some were more obvious than others, like Finn, he was the son of a Giant, or Tina, she was the daughter of a Vampire, or even Brittany, the daughter of an Angel. And others were a bit more challenging. More summary inside.
Glee - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 57,739 - Reviews: 468 - Favs: 538 - Follows: 350 - Updated: 3/16/2012 - Published: 11/16/2011 - Santana L., Brittany P. - Complete
When You Read My Mind by alexwishington reviews
Blaine Anderson wakes up one morning to realize that he can read minds. Now he has to get used to having other thoughts invade his own, and that includes Kurt Hummel's thoughts about him. and they're not always so squeaky clean.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 44,340 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 467 - Follows: 697 - Updated: 11/29/2011 - Published: 5/24/2011 - Kurt H., Blaine A.
A Broken Fall by katebxo reviews
Hospital Volunteer Blaine Anderson is sent to fetch a patient from the ER and bring him up to the pediatrics ward. What he didn't expect was a member of New Directions, sitting alone, clutching his left arm to his chest, with tears in his eyes.
Glee - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 41,100 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 439 - Follows: 243 - Updated: 9/30/2011 - Published: 7/14/2011 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
The Twilight Chronicles by Jammeke reviews
Things the character would say—if I had anything to say about it.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,736 - Reviews: 531 - Favs: 479 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 10/1/2010 - Published: 1/8/2009 - Complete
Dead Man's Chest: An Affectionate Parody by Willofthewisp reviews
Like any good sequel to a movie based on a theme park ride, this is darker, edgier, and just more pirate-y! Everyone's a bit evil, the CGI is amped up to 11, and the anachronisms and brutal honesty are still intact, amid all kisses of death.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: M - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 32,333 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/18/2010 - Published: 10/31/2009 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth S. - Complete
Esme's Good Deed by acacia59601 reviews
Esme doesn't get many opportunities to help others, but when she finds a young woman in distress, she knows just what to do.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,341 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/20/2009 - Published: 11/15/2009 - Esme, Carlisle - Complete
One Final Eve by IvyandLime reviews
Ninety-seven year old Angela Cheney is spending Christmas Eve reflecting on memories from her past, when a surprise visit from some old friends makes her Christmas Eve one final eve to remember. Written for the iFic Canon Christmas Contest.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,511 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 15 - Published: 11/18/2009 - Angela - Complete
Bodyguard of Lies by Mandi1 reviews
Alice Cullen: celebutante, fashionista, rich girl, tabloid fodder. Jasper Whitlock: bodyguard, indie boy, intellectual, tattooed twenty-something. A relationship between them is not supposed to happen and most certainly not supposed to work out. AU, AH.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,322 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 27 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Bree's Story by TRDancer reviews
AU. A story of Bree. Written before the publication of The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 27,069 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 6/13/2009 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Bree - Complete
Breathe Me In by silverpixiedust reviews
Alice has been stuck in an asylum for 2 years, and had given up on hope. Then came Jasper Hale, her new mysterious doctor. Little does she know that he was there for a reason, one that could change her life... forever. R/R! JasperxAlice.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,841 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 2/14/2009 - Published: 12/6/2008 - Jasper, Alice
100 Things That Emmett Cullen Should Never Do by Martha the Anorexic Ephalent reviews
This is a summary of 100 things that Emmett should never do. Although, if he did do any of these, it would be quite funny. Unfortunately, none of his siblings would like it very much. It's supposed to be humorous, and I hope you all enjoy it! Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,056 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/30/2009 - Emmett - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8476 - Favs: 7,706 - Follows: 1,830 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
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Slipping reviews
A grocery trip leaves Alice in a slightly messy predicament when blood lust takes her over. set pre twilight in Forks. sorry for the sucky summary!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,992 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 2/25/2011 - Published: 7/1/2010 - Alice, Jasper
Habits A Series of One Shots reviews
Summary: a little series of one shots following Alice and jaspers little ‘habits’. Sweet little lots of fluff! Please read!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 498 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/3/2010 - Jasper, Alice