VlastaChaos
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Joined 05-17-14, id: 5735538, Profile Updated: 08-04-19

Hello!

I made this profile in an attempt to motivate myself to write more, so hopefully I'll finish something eventually...

Flames are used for toasting marshmallows :)


Random stuff I've accumulated from other people's profiles


THINGS TO DO AT A SHOPPING MALL

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

3. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-by.

4. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

5. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror to pick your nose.

6. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.


Did you know...
Bananas are good for period pain.
It's healthy to cry.
Eating chicken soup makes you feel better.
Lying is actually physiologically unhealthy.


Join the dark side. We have cookies!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Very few personal problems can't be solved through suitable application of high explosives.

Worst (best) excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.


If you've ever hurt your face from smiling too hard for too long, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever gone more than two days without sleeping, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stared at a juice container because it said 'concentrate', copy and paste this into your profile.

A lot of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed at a movie, during a part that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wanted to dump a glass of water on someone's head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to slap yourself / someone else at random times, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you're like in a parallel universe, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever done the above on purpose, copy and paste this into your profile too.

If you have walked under something that is two feet over your head, but ducked anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

IF YOU'VE EVER TYPED A WHOLE SENTENCE AND THEN LOOKED UP AND REALIZED THE CAPS LOCK WAS ON, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.


Things to do if you're bored

At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy".

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, yell "I WON! I WON!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"


I like food. English is weird. So is sleeping.


End of profile


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

If He Be Worthy by AndyHood reviews
In the aftermath of the alien invasion of London, Coulson's team is set out to retrieve a man, a man that had picked up Thor's hammer. John Watson hadn't meant to get mixed up in the alien invasion only intending to repay a favor. He had only been surveying the damage done by the aliens when he had tripped on a hammer, he didn't know the significance of being able to pick it up.
Crossover - Sherlock & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 55,429 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 692 - Follows: 868 - Updated: 7/14 - Published: 6/25/2014 - John W., Mycroft H., Iron Man/Tony S., Thor
Call it Asunder by Jenndude5 reviews
He just appears out of nowhere one day. There is no warning, no reason. It just happens./ How do we justify the things we have done, and will do?(Why do we justify them at all?) Villain!Tony
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 47 - Words: 68,690 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 1/29 - Published: 2/13/2016 - Captain America/Steve R., Iron Man/Tony S.
Fool's Gambit by Therefore I Am A Pipsqueak reviews
Uchiha!Harry Au. Full Summary inside. In a world where Harry Potter never showed up to Hogwarts, Hermione Granger is desperate. Hunted on all sides by friends and enemies alike, her life has become a desperate struggle of control and survival in a swiftly deteriorating world. Her hunt for a trump card leads her to Harī Uchiha, the boy who had once been Harry Potter. (Continued)
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,745 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 10/2/2018 - Published: 4/26/2017 - Harry P., Hermione G., Petunia D., Fugaku U.
Revitalized in Frost's Embrace by Trinity103 reviews
After being killed by his brother, Gabriel thought it was over for good. Turns out, even angels get second chances. Given a new family, Gabriel is determined to cherish them. Even if they come with a few kinks; but it's nothing a little Trickster magic can't fix, and life is looking good. Until he discovers something from his old universe may have followed him home.
Crossover - Supernatural & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 24,038 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 662 - Follows: 853 - Updated: 4/6/2018 - Published: 2/25/2016 - Gabriel, Iron Man/Tony S., Thor, Loki
Off By a Single Degree: Part II by Taaroko reviews
This is the sequel to "Off by a Single Degree." AU. Plotty ensemble fic with slow burn Damon/Elena and no love triangles. We continue the saga of Mystic Falls if Damon hadn't compelled Elena to forget meeting him and Grayson and Miranda had lived. (Definitely read Part I first; this thing has significantly veered off canon and you will be confused.) On hiatus.
Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 91,594 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 283 - Follows: 436 - Updated: 9/17/2017 - Published: 2/27/2017 - Elena G., Damon S., G. Gilbert, M. Gilbert
Bleeding Out by uoduck reviews
During sixth year, Harry Potter hears an inhuman scream in his mind. But since he was the only one who heard it, he thinks nothing of it. After he defeats Voldemort however, a mysterious, dark power brings him to a world torn apart by a tyrant. Or… Durza and Galbatorix summon him. Harry Potter/Murtagh.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 39,075 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 1,006 - Follows: 1,281 - Updated: 9/17/2017 - Published: 1/3/2016 - [Harry P., Murtagh] Thorn, Shruikan
Family Ties by Therefore I Am A Pipsqueak reviews
(Formerly Night Time Callers) According to Tony, having Ironman as your uncle is about as cool as it can get. To Hermione, its just a pain in the ass. But the again, the same could be said to having a witch as a niece. AU, one-shot series. mostly interconnected.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 21,515 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 624 - Follows: 738 - Updated: 7/20/2017 - Published: 7/24/2014 - Hermione G., Iron Man/Tony S.
The Punchline by AlwaysEatTheRude21 reviews
Sleep walking is mostly innocent. However for wizarding kind, it's a touch more problematic. Harriet Potter has the misfortune of going through what the healers call sleep apparition. In a very Potter twist of luck, she of course attracts trouble. Harley and the joker despite all the crazy, know a good thing when it pops out of nowhere, and refuse to let go. Joker/fem!Harry/Harley
Crossover - Harry Potter & Suicide Squad - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 23,005 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 1,371 - Follows: 1,724 - Updated: 6/14/2017 - Published: 8/27/2016 - [The Joker, Harry P., Harley Quinn] Bruce Wayne/Batman
Off by a Single Degree: Part I by Taaroko reviews
AU, plotty ensemble fic with slow burn Damon/Elena. On the night that Elena meets Damon, her cell phone dies before she can call home for a ride. Their conversation is never interrupted by her parents' arrival, Elena and her parents are never in a car that goes off Wickery Bridge, and Stefan never has to save Elena from drowning. Enjoy and review! (And then go read Part II.)
Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 163,450 - Reviews: 962 - Favs: 939 - Follows: 1,085 - Updated: 2/27/2017 - Published: 4/20/2013 - Elena G., Damon S., G. Gilbert, M. Gilbert - Complete
Butterfly Heart by The Fictionist reviews
AU. Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal inspired. After recent events in his life, Hermione refers Harry to the renowned psychiatrist, Doctor T. Riddle. He is unlike anything Harry ever expected or imagined, and soon proves to be a great help against the very shadows and name that haunts his waking hours. If only it remained that simple.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 109,748 - Reviews: 1894 - Favs: 1,794 - Follows: 1,520 - Updated: 1/1/2017 - Published: 4/5/2013 - Harry P., Voldemort, Tom R. Jr. - Complete
You Have: One New Message by SteampunkFairytale reviews
Damon amuses himself by checking out the ludicrous myths that people come up with about Vampires. Bella's finally on track to finding out what Edward and his family are. They meet on a Vampire Lore message board, and quickly grow close. Soon Damon finds himself falling in love again against his will. Small problem: Bella's in love with Edward... right? Bella/Damon. IN PROGRESS
Crossover - Twilight & Vampire Diaries - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,914 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 335 - Updated: 11/18/2016 - Published: 9/26/2016
Change of Perspective by Slytherin-Princess210 reviews
Finnick begins to see Katniss in a whole new light after finding her crying in a corner of the training room. I suck at summaries! Katniss/Finnick Rated M for suicidal themes in chapter 3. R&R!
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,671 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 10/4/2016 - Published: 2/22/2016 - [Finnick O., Katniss E.]
Something Wicked by PseudonymousEntity reviews
Petunia abandons her 9 year old nephew when his hair turns a shade of red associated with the Devil. Frightened and alone little Harry stumbles upon the entrance to Diagon Alley. There he unlocks his magic...and something else along with it. Horcrux!Harry. Powerful!Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,357 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 1,339 - Follows: 1,766 - Updated: 5/8/2016 - Published: 11/22/2015 - Harry P., Severus S.
Dinner Reservations by CuriousVanilla reviews
Where John Wick finds a purpose and Molly Hooper gains an ally. One-sided Sherlolly. John Wick/Molly Hooper if you squint hard enough . John Wick AU. BAMF!Molly
Crossover - Sherlock & John Wick - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,039 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 19 - Published: 4/19/2016 - Molly Hooper - Complete
The Great Escape by TheCauldron reviews
Dean's meeting with Death is nothing like he expected. Honestly, who the hell is this kid?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Supernatural - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,171 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 1,721 - Follows: 826 - Published: 12/16/2015 - Harry P., Dean W., Death - Complete
Darker Than Blood by PseudonymousEntity reviews
Shunned by the school for becoming the fourth TriWizard Champion, Harry Potter re-enters the Chamber in the night. Once there he discovers Hogwarts' darkest secret and what just might be the key to his survival. Disclaimer:This is a FANFICTION.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,528 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 475 - Follows: 606 - Published: 12/13/2015 - Harry P., Draco M., Luna L., Salazar S.
Little Gem by Infinite Ravens reviews
"Whether you are the mass murderer bent on world domination and destruction or the revolutionary fighting for a just cause, it doesn't matter. I am a boy you can't kill and you are a man I can't kill, I was destined for a wand you couldn't fight and you were destined for a wand I can't fight. I believe we're meant to be friends - fated even." Dark!Ravenclaw!Harry/Lord Voldemort
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 56,109 - Reviews: 818 - Favs: 3,645 - Follows: 4,256 - Updated: 6/10/2015 - Published: 5/18/2015 - [Harry P., Voldemort]
Kisses Cursed by The Fictionist reviews
Fairytale AU. Loosely inspired by Beauty and the Beast. Some said he was once a man, cursed, and some that he sold his soul to demons and became one in turn. Others said that such evil as he could never have been human. That he was instead a nightmare, left lingering upon the earth a very long time ago. Harry just knew it wasn't safe to walk near the Riddle House after dark.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 13 - Words: 51,377 - Reviews: 1185 - Favs: 2,552 - Follows: 1,466 - Updated: 4/27/2015 - Published: 12/30/2013 - Harry P., Voldemort, Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Delirium Victoria by TheCauldron reviews
What if the prophecy wasn't as literal as Dumbledore assumed? Sometimes, sleep deprivation can be helpful. Set post fifth year, a bit (very) OOC. Just some silliness my own sleep dep caused.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,518 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 562 - Follows: 156 - Published: 3/11/2015 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
A Sorting Like No Other by Stargon1 reviews
The Sorting Hat (or Brian to his friends) has had enough of being told by Albus Too-Many-Names Dumbledore exactly how certain new students should be sorted. For once, he's going to take matters into his own, um, hands? The incoming class of 1991 isn't going to know what hit them. Get ready for a Sorting like no other! One Shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,801 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 1,854 - Follows: 617 - Published: 1/29/2015 - Sorting Hat - Complete
The Hulk's Boy by Mya Uzo reviews
Bruce isn't quite sure how it happened or if it was even possible, but the Hulk had fallen in love. Can Bruce protect Harry from the Hulk without blowing his cover or falling in love with the green eyed boy himself? Of course not. Slash duh!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 16,015 - Reviews: 1359 - Favs: 4,620 - Follows: 3,624 - Updated: 1/19/2015 - Published: 7/21/2013 - Harry P., Hulk/Bruce B. - Complete
Of Many by Asidian reviews
Given a chance to fix his past, Bucky lives a portion of his life again and again, trying to get it right. Steve/Bucky
Captain America - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,764 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/9/2014 - Steve R./Capt. America, Bucky B./Winter Soldier - Complete
Denryoku no Sōzokujin by Onikai Yoko reviews
The Heir of Power. Uzumaki Naruto has had a hard life He was ostracized by his village, but protected by a small few. When the young Uzumaki discovers that he is the heir to the most powerful shinobi around, he has one goal: to judge if Konoha can be saved. Strong, smart, Rinnegan Naruto. Hellsing Naruto. Formerly Of Their Blood.
Crossover - Hellsing & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,649 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 3/31/2014 - Published: 3/29/2014 - Alucard, Kyuubi/Kurama, Madara U., Tobirama S.
Brutal Harry by LordsFire reviews
Systematically abused and degraded children do not suddenly turn into well-adjusted members of society when removed from the abusive situation. Nor do they tend to be very trusting of others, or forgiving. Sequel up.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 100,387 - Reviews: 2758 - Favs: 9,117 - Follows: 4,247 - Updated: 9/16/2012 - Published: 6/18/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Know Thyself by Hoshi-tachi reviews
Sequel to KT: the Prelude. When Harry returns on a mission to his native England, he finds himself pulled into a world he never imagined existed... once again. Violence, profanity, no pairings.
Crossover - Matrix & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 8 - Words: 19,074 - Reviews: 696 - Favs: 810 - Follows: 1,187 - Updated: 12/26/2010 - Published: 9/23/2005 - Harry P.
Harveste Addams and the Sorceror's Stone by kyaru-chan reviews
A little death can change so much. Delightful, isn't it?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Addams Family - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,370 - Reviews: 353 - Favs: 4,135 - Follows: 1,003 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Naruto and the Goblet of Fire by Reidluver reviews
Unwillingly brought into a strange world, trying to hide your secrets, being there during a tournament that hasn't been held in over a century, and oh, having the most powerful wizard seeking you for your power. Simple? Certainly not.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 23 - Words: 127,905 - Reviews: 1604 - Favs: 2,030 - Follows: 1,116 - Updated: 6/15/2009 - Published: 7/31/2007 - Harry P., Naruto U. - Complete
Better Be Slytherin! by jharad17 reviews
YEAR ONE COMPLETED! As a first year, Harry is sorted into Slytherin instead of Gryffindor, and no one is more surprised than his new Head of House. Snape mentors Harry fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 51 - Words: 175,130 - Reviews: 8348 - Favs: 10,465 - Follows: 5,420 - Updated: 3/17/2009 - Published: 8/20/2007 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Friend or Foe by Niger Aquila reviews
To what length would Harry go to keep his promise? Harry goes back home and is about to start his fifth year in Hogwarts 'again'. He is confused and doesn't know what to do with Voldemort anymore. Are they friends? Or foes? Sequel to Learn from History
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 30 - Words: 123,380 - Reviews: 2007 - Favs: 1,766 - Follows: 1,028 - Updated: 6/4/2008 - Published: 9/5/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Possession by demonicnargles reviews
Kyuubi takes advantage of a unique opportunity and possesses Naruto's body. Can the demon cope with a mortal's body? What will happen when Naruto resurfaces? Not a great description, but please read this. Longer chapters starting on 19! Now complete.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 59,252 - Reviews: 987 - Favs: 700 - Follows: 371 - Updated: 9/8/2007 - Published: 7/16/2006 - Kyuubi/Kurama, Naruto U. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Manipulator of Destiny by Wheezy1 reviews
Post OotP. Harry finds that Dumbledore has been less than honest or helpful with him, takes control of his own life and finds the training he needs from others. HHr, NL, no slash. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 39 - Words: 175,185 - Reviews: 5713 - Favs: 10,109 - Follows: 3,407 - Updated: 4/14/2006 - Published: 1/26/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Learn from History by Niger Aquila reviews
Completed! Harry accidentally traveled back in time, but lost his memory during the process. There he had some strange dreams about a lonely boy called Tom Riddle. What happens when the future enemies meet?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 21,742 - Reviews: 328 - Favs: 1,169 - Follows: 328 - Updated: 9/5/2004 - Published: 12/19/2003 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete