Bernard and Spinach
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Joined 05-30-04, id: 599098
Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter.
We're twins from England. Fortunately, minus the red hair and maleness, although unfortunately, our names do not work half as well when you get an item of clothing with the first letter of your name on it (although in our case, it tends to be necklaces rather than jumpers...sigh). So we've decided to go under the pseudonyms of Bernard and Spinach because these, of course, work so much better... YAY!

GO SERNARD AND ...bpinach...

This is from HOW TO BE TOPP: 'Toys aren't all bad - i once had a super monkey called spinich of whom (grammer) i was very fond. he used to nestle up on my pillow and...CURSES, wot am i sayin?'

And if you watch Blackadder II, then you'll IMMEDIATELY work out where Bernard is from.

So you see, we're not totally mad... it, well, at least the inspiration for some of our stuff,does come from somewhere (aside from all the chocolate and sugar we consume in such great quantities. and nothing else, honest...)

If you are still reading this, you should be seriously worried... how can you not have run away (screaming and trying to find someone who knows the number of a loony bin) by now?

Fic News:
We are alive! And the new chapter should be up soon due to all those millions of reviews begging us to continueour story (hint hint). And we are still totally expecting JKs version to be exactly the same as ours (due to all the careful research we did and huge amount of inferring on the comments JK has made) so lets all go out and buy the book and then complain to our friends and neighbours about how she didn't put the real story across very well and instead seemed to have some rubbish about Harry fighting Voldemort and NOT making daisy chains in the meantime.

Anyway, that wasn't what I meant to say. What I was going to write in this snazzy new section of our profile is about the new fic that you may have noticed. It is a SERIOUS FIC, as you may have noticed by its corny title. And as such, I, Spinach, denounce it (well, this may be the wrong word. Go! Read and review it! But do not think that I had anything to do with it!) I felt I had to put up this notice so that nobody would mistake me for someone who could actually write. (2 March 05)

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Short and Random by Yuri-san reviews
The title says it all. This is a result of my boredom in Spanish and a lame attepmt at humor.First victim is Harry, then Ron, then Sirius, Remus, Sirius, and it goes on CHAPTER 19? UP! R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 6,144 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/29/2006 - Published: 10/7/2004
Tasty Little Ficlets by Majik Beaver reviews
Mmm...everyone loves a good fic. But what about the people with short attention spans? Well worry no longer! We have a solution! Ficlets! (Rated PG-13 for language)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 13,389 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/12/2006 - Published: 8/2/2004
Hannah Abbott and the Reverse Sue Effect by RadishGirl reviews
Everyone must be from somewhere, even Mary Sues. When Hannah Abbott is forced into a new foreign exchange program, she must discover the secrets of the Salem Witches' Institute and its special students. UPDATED after a really long hiatus. 6th year AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,721 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 12/27/2005 - Published: 1/30/2005
Insert Witty Title Here by ThePhantomRoarer reviews
Goody bags filled with puppy chow? BLT's with no bacon? The death eaters have been disbanded? Voldy must have rediscovered love!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,013 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 11/3/2005 - Published: 2/13/2005 - Voldemort
How to Write a Fan Fiction by Harry Potter and co by Susan B reviews
Have you ever wondered how to write the perfect fan fiction? Here it is, laid out for you by Harry and the gang.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,808 - Reviews: 182 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 8/2/2005 - Published: 10/3/2004 - Harry P.
A Mary Sue Parody by ashanta reviews
A group of Mary Sues enter Hogwarts, but find their typical charms and perfections somehow failing to get the reactions they usually warrant. Harry and Ron finally figure out the Sues weakness, with Special Guest Appearance by Hogwarts' Resident Man-Ho.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,014 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 5/18/2005 - Published: 8/27/2004
Avada Kedavra by Prongs J. Potter reviews
This is a very strange and random parody that my friend and I made up late one night. Just so you know, it's sung like Hakuna Matata.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 678 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/28/2004 - Complete
Harry Potter and the Overdone Plot Devices by citygirl1116 reviews
Exchange Students, time turners, potions accidents, long-lost twins, mysterious new powers, snogging, more exchange students...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 17,349 - Reviews: 1457 - Favs: 829 - Follows: 327 - Updated: 9/25/2004 - Published: 3/24/2004 - Harry P.
Harry Potter And The Awful Randomness by Tree Frog Dude reviews
Harry Potter is a wizard (DUH) and he discovers the secret of the awful randomnes. And something about a stone.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,986 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 11 - Updated: 8/5/2004 - Published: 6/26/2004
Ha Ha, Suckers! by She's a Star reviews
. . . The Epic Adventures of Mark Evans. (Inspired by a certain FAQ poll result on jkrowling.com)
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,591 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/6/2004
Happy New Year, Severus my Love! by Immortalica reviews
Snape gets moody over xmas and his students try to find out who he'd like to get under the mistletoe...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,823 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/9/2004 - Published: 12/30/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

United, we stand tall reviews
Harry is back for his 7th year, but things are going wrong at Hogwarts. The Death Eaters are getting stronger, while Harry, Ginny, Hermione and Ron slowly learn how strong their friendship will have to be.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,190 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/4/2005 - Published: 4/24/2005 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince reviews
Harry and friends (and enemies) travel back to a land before Hogwarts; Hermione's little sister has huge adventures; Voldemort goes on the internet and discovers something strange; and most importantly, the pigeons - never underestimate the pidgeons
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,121 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/24/2005 - Published: 2/9/2005
Harry Potter and the Really Bad Plotline reviews
Harry Potter thinks life is getting back to normal; the Dark Lord is out to kill him again. However, events at school soon show him that Seventh Year is going to be...interesting. Includes the Final Battle, Harry's One True Love and LOTS of insanity! (Th
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 26,210 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/4/2004 - Published: 5/30/2004