Jacob Black can go to HELL
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Joined 08-20-10, id: 2505224, Profile Updated: 11-06-10
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

HELLO EVERYBODY!!!


I'm Jacob Black can go to HELL, OR you can just call me JB or JBCGTH. Whichever you would like.

I'm a she and YOU don't even need to know my age or where i live or my number!

My fave books EVER are the Twilight series (Duh) and a couple of Mattew Riley Books (such as the Schofield series) , BUT i can never forget good olde, Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived ( i mean who can?).

Obviously i HATE Jacob Black with a passion and I would personally kill him and dig him back up and kill him again BUT I can't so... yep.

Fave Quotes

Forks must be a difficult place for you to live.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 2, p.48

Don’t be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So… try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 5, p.109

Do I dazzle you?
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 8, p.168

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 13, p.274

What a stupid lamb.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 13, p.274

What a sick, masochistic lion.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 13, p.274

You haven’t changed at all. I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always.
Emmett Cullen, New Moon, Chapter 1, p.26

t doesn’t count until she’s conscious, Rose.
Emmett Cullen, New Moon, Chapter 22, p.498

I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much more fun with you around.
Emmett Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 4, p.93

Fall down again, Bella?
Emmett Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 15, p.342

I’ll try not to break anything.
Emmett Cullen, Eclipse, Chapter 18, p.394

If you don’t send Edward out, we’re coming in after him!
Emmett Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 2, p.29

You’re monopolizing the bride. Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush.
Emmett Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 4, p.69

Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort.
Emmett Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 11, p.221

Did ya get in a couple of good swipes?
Emmett Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 22, p.442

Aw, what a waste. And here you’re probably the one person who could take him – since he can’t get in your head to cheat – and you had a perfect excuse, too. I’ve been dying to see how he’d do without that advantage.
Emmett Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 22, p.442

So it’s still standing? I would’ve thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now. What were you doing last night? Discussing the national debt?
Emmett Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 25, p.490

I’m sure you’ll ace your classes… apparently there’s nothing interesting for you to do at night besides study.
Emmett Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 25, p.491

‘Bout time somebody scored around here.
Emmett Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 25, p.511

I’m not even sure she’s really a vampire, let alone a newborn. She’s too tame.
Emmett Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 26, p.517

Oooo, scary.
Emmett Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 26, p.517

You gonna back down so easy, little sister? Not much wild about you, is there? I bet that cottage doesn’t have a scratch. Did Edward tell you how many houses Rose and I smashed?
Emmett Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 26, p.520

[Tee hee, I LOVE EMMETT SO MUCH (sorry Rose, hes mine NOW!)]

I found this on a reviewer's profile, and it made me smile SOO much and laugh even more, so I just had to put it up!

TRUE 90s KIDS RULE!!

That 90s Kid

Just because you were born in ’97 doesn’t mean you’re a 90’s kid
It’s not like you could remember the original Simpsons
I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90’s just won't cut it

You’re a 90’s kid if:

You’ve ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this "In west Philadelphia born and raised"

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early to watch Saturday morning cartoons in your PJ's still wrapped up in your TMNT, Power Rangers, Barbie, or Fairy Princess comforter

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular

You remember The Original Game Boy

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

You always wanted to send in a tape to America’s Funniest Home Videos but never taped anything funny

You remember watching
-Doug
-Ren & Stimpy
-Pinky and the Brain
-AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
-Rockos modern Life
-Animaniacs

-Rugrats
-Wild Thornberry’s
-Rocket Power
-Gargoyles

-The 1st Batman
-Aladdin
-Ninja Turtles
-Ghost Busters

-The Magic School Bus
-Wishbone
-Reading Rainbow
-and Ghostwriter on PBS

-Step by Step
-Family Matters
-Boy Meets World

-The original Power Rangers
-Hey Arnold.
-The Secret World of Alex Mac
-Double Dare
-Wild & Crazy Kids
-Clarissa Explains it All.
-CAMP NOWHERE
-Salute Your Shorts(CAMP ANAWANA)
-The original cast members of All That.
-Kenan & Kel.
-Flash Forward.
-The Adventures of Pete and Pete.
-Legends of the Hidden Temple
-Hey Dude
-Dinosaurs
-Sailor Moon.
-Blossom.
-Beavis & Butt-Head
-Bill Nye the Science Guy

Who could forget Snick? & Nick @ Nite with Bewitched, I Dream of Jenie, The Facts of Life & I Love Lucy.

Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching The Wonder Years.
or Nick Jr. with Face
-Gulah Gulah Island
-Little Bear
-Busy Town
-Under the Umbrella Tree
-PEE-WEE!!
-The Comfy Couch

You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You danced to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)

You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet.

You had a favorite song of ALL TIME

Then, You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape

You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3...and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

"I've fallen and I can't get up"

Two words... Trapper Keeper.

You never got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide

You wore socks over leggings scrunched down

When everything was settled by:

-'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.
-rock paper scissors or
-bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or
-"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

You remember playing Four Corners, Capture the Flag, Wiffleball, Mother may I?, and Linkin Logs

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKS

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. (pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)

You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.

You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

When everyone watched the WB.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" ... enough said

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.

You remember when razor scooters were cool.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid 3.50 for a movie.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.

When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

Tag.

Get Over Here!! means something to you.

Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk.

Red Light, Green Light.

Heads Up 7 Up.

Playing Kickball & Dodgeball until your porch light came on.

Hopskotch.

Slip-n-Slides.

Tree Houses.

Hula Hoops.

HELLO...HOT WHEELS!!

Running through the sprinklers.

That "Little Mermaid"

Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King.

Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car.

Getting the privilege to sit in the front seat of the car.

Drinking Squeeze It "Squeeze The Fun Out Of It"

CAPRI SUN

Kool-Aid was the drink of choice.

Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school.

Class field trips.

When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.

When 5 dollars seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle.

When Toys R Us overuled the mall.

Go back to the time when: Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!'

'Race issue' meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly.'

It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.

Being old referred to anyone over 20.

Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.

It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the 'big people' rides at the fair.

When playing Nintendo was the hardest thing ever.

When Ninja Turtles ruled the world.

Another Baby Sitter Club and Little Sister (Karen) book came out and you put your name on hold for it at the library.

When Aladdin was new, before the trilogy was complete.

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool

You remember those Where’s Waldo books

You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gum

You remember Ring Pops

You remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them

You played and/or collected "Pogs"

Silver dollars, which were cool to have

If you even know what an original walkman is

You went to McDonald’s to play in the playplace

Before the MySpace frenzy

Before the Internet & text messaging

Before Sidekicks & iPods

Before PlayStation3 or X-BOX 360

When we were younger:
...Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

Way back,

Before we realized all this would all eventually disappear.

You're a true 90's kid if you smiled at least more than 10 times. . .

Completely Random But Awesome Comments or Facts:

Copy & Pasties

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If Spelchek is ur best freind, then copy this to your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever fallen down two flights of stairs and then started laughing, copy and paste this to your profile.

Random Quotes

Boys are like Slinky's. Completely useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what your up too

Children... you spend 2 years teaching them how to walk and talk, you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.


As you can obviously see i am a veeerrry strange person...i even have three emotional people inside of me (its reaally hard to explain)

They are Me, Myself and I.

Me is usually in sad-land, wallowing in misery.

Myself is in Lalaland, being delightful and gay (happy) annnd in love with her boyfriend, Steve.

I, well this one is loopy (seriously). I lives in candyland where she is constantly high on SUGAR!!!

(Ruby, if your reading this then you should know who I am, Teehee)


Well... I'm just about start a new story called Mysterious Fangs.

Basically its a Drama/Romance or a Suspense/Romance, The Cullen story is just the same, but...

Summary:

The Mysterious Fires Of Swan Mansion, 1910

In the small town of Forks, there is an old ruin of the Great Swan Mansion where the Duke Charles James Swan and his daughter the To-Be-Duchess Isabella Marie Swan, were Mysteriously killed in an out of control, but in control fire, trapped in the mansion boundaries.

What they didn't know was there were unstoppable creatures of the dead haunting the ruins, just waiting for their newest prey. To turn them into creatures of the night and bestowing them with powers and dangerous gifts , immortals you may call them or demons of darkenesse , just like what they did to the mysterious young duchess.

Now a hundred years later they nearly get another one and guess who it is!

Mysterious isn't it? hehe

Well anyways some vampire in my story will be different than of the normal twilight Vampires. Hopefully this is a story you and my character can sink your fangs into (get it?)

There will be more info in the prolouge

TA!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Royal and Her Guardian by Sachiko26 reviews
At the magical Twilight Academy, Isabella Swan, a descendant from an ancient royal family, is assigned a new guardian, Edward Cullen, to protect her. Hatred ensues but will love blossom to become be the most powerful weapon against the oncoming threats?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 19 - Words: 68,509 - Reviews: 311 - Favs: 340 - Follows: 496 - Updated: 9/18/2015 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Bella, Edward
Ruthless and Ivory by MujerN reviews
The full story to the Red Ribbon assassin-Finalist to Tattward and Inkella Contest: She finds every corpse he hides. She follows every trail he leaves behind. A ribbon. A clue. A crime. She doesn't know he'll do anything to keep her alive.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Crime - Chapters: 34 - Words: 266,387 - Reviews: 2314 - Favs: 1,998 - Follows: 1,506 - Updated: 11/6/2014 - Published: 11/9/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I Want You To Want Me by The Perisher reviews
'Mr Popular' Edward Cullen, and 'The Freak' Isabella Swan, just got dumped by their first loves. Now they must work together to make their ex's realize what their missing out on. Pretending to fall in love, will they truly develop feelings for each other?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 285,430 - Reviews: 4614 - Favs: 2,566 - Follows: 2,333 - Updated: 1/5/2014 - Published: 4/21/2009 - Edward, Bella
First Impressions by hazel lyn 17 reviews
Everybody knows that all first impressions almost never go as planned, and when the famous Edward Cullen moves to the tiny town of Forks and meets the spirited Bella Swan, they immediately get off on the wrong foot. Full Summary inside... R & R please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 18,831 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 8/7/2012 - Published: 11/24/2009 - Edward, Bella
Breaking News by WriteOnTime reviews
Two network news anchors. One desk. In a race to get the story, love might become the headline - if they don't kill each other first. AH Canon Couples, smart people, particle physics, and tap dancing.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 182,215 - Reviews: 7270 - Favs: 5,967 - Follows: 4,221 - Updated: 1/3/2012 - Published: 10/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Newborn by Hexwitch reviews
Bella is the newest member of the Cullen family. Edward is the prince of the Volturi. When Bella is practically forced to go see the Volturi what we will she think of the red eyed prince? Summary's suck, story is alot better NOW COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 48,558 - Reviews: 399 - Favs: 537 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 8/20/2011 - Published: 2/23/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Scarlet by archer24 reviews
Bella is the greatest thief the world's never seen; she is only recognized by her scarlet calling card. Edward is FBI, and has been able to catch every criminal he's come across. Little do they know, they are both about to meet their match. AH, OOC, AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 147,185 - Reviews: 7138 - Favs: 5,620 - Follows: 2,716 - Updated: 3/12/2011 - Published: 10/10/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Code Name: Nanny by xvampiree reviews
“So let me get this straight, you want me to help you catch your wife cheating on you, so that you can divorce her, while taking care of your children?” OOC M for language and Lemons Canon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 93,371 - Reviews: 4425 - Favs: 3,187 - Follows: 3,571 - Updated: 12/28/2010 - Published: 2/27/2010 - Bella, Edward
A Vision Stained with Red by XDCaramel reviews
Ever since I was born I saw these numbers and visions. They told me when and how a person would die. It was a normalcy to see these things above people's heads. Until I met them. They didn't have numbers. For them... I couldn't see anything. ExB. DISCONTINUED.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 20 - Words: 88,714 - Reviews: 3706 - Favs: 3,039 - Follows: 2,737 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Bella, Edward
Educating Bella by LovePecanPie reviews
Bella is a 6th grade teacher and happily in a relationship w/ college sweetheart, Jacob. But what happens when she's assigned to mentor a new teacher? Rated M for some lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,032 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 12/26/2009 - Published: 12/23/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Place Where it all Started by LaurenBlair reviews
Sequel to "If he loved me so much why did he leave?" Bella and the Cullens return to Forks. Then something tragic happens. How will the Bella handle it? How will the Cullens handle it? FIRE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,789 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 8/23/2009 - Published: 8/1/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
7 Years, 4 months, 2 days and Forever by Munchkin1978 reviews
Bella has her forever with Edward but Charlie finds out she accepted a proposal from Edward. He disowns her. The Blacks find out the treaty could be broken. Will it? Will something else come to break them up? Sequel to 7 Years read that one first. BxE R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 80,181 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 5/20/2009 - Published: 4/20/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Stars Dazzle Me by AsItThunders reviews
Bella Swan is chosen to star in the latest movie with superstar Edward Cullen who's used to having girls fall at his feet. She's sassy and smart and sees him as an egotistical player. Can they learn to work together? T to be safe. Sum sucks, better inside
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,407 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 5/11/2009 - Published: 12/24/2008 - Bella, Edward
Evening Star by Twilight4886 reviews
Takes place after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. Bella is now almost 23 years old and had moved to West Virginia after going to college to become an English teacher. She finds out Edward and his family are at the same school and she is now his teacher.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,327 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 12/10/2008 - Published: 11/29/2008 - Bella, Edward
Mysterious Fangs reviews
The small town of Forks has an old ruin, the Swan Mansion where the Duke Charles James Swan and his daughter the Duchess Isabella Marie Swan, were Mysteriously killed in an out-of-control fire, trapped in the mansion. There'll be more info in the story.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,011 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/15/2010 - Published: 10/29/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete