Alright everyone. If a few seconds, I will no longer be a cheerful 14 year old author. You're going to read through a distinctly horrid letter to all of you. Don't let it fool you. If you've read any of Lemony Snicket's composures, you'll understand immediately why I took the liberty of writing this down :) As it says in the letter, I am also centaur219. That name is for my Harry Potter stories. This, as you can tell by the name, is reserved for writing down my own tales of the Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny. Disclaimer: I do not own A Series of Unfortunate Events, I did not copy these stories, or the following letter from Lemony Snicket's own works. I read them, and wrote my own, basing the wording on how he writes. I am not Lemony Snicket, or even David Handler. I am Grace, an aspiring young 14 year old authoress who takes great pleasure in reading Lemony Snicket's works. On account of this, I decided to write my own. I'm not even sure if I'll be able to, but if I am unable to, I will try to contact someone and get them to add this magnificent series to this website. Thanks very much! Dear Reader, If you were to read this autobiography - a phrase which here means "if you take the time to read this information about myself that I have written" - you are very likely to become bored quickly. If you wish, you may take pleasure in skipping to the stories I have composed at the bottom of this page. However, if you do this, you have a very good chance of sitting up all night (or day, whichever the case may be) weeping and tearing out your hair. This is because, although these stories are completely true, and I have sworn to record them so the general public will know about the horrific adventures these youngsters get themselves into, the adventures these youngsters get themselves into are quite horrific. And you might be better off reading stories such as "Roses Are Pink, Your Feet Really Stink," which is a charming story about a young student who learns all about making Valentines for his friends. I hope, for your sake, that you will take my advice and go read my other stories under the penname centaur219. If yo udo take my advice, you are quite less likely to spend your time weeping and tearing out your hair. In the midst of these stories, you are likely to find yourself reading about three intelligent children, who are thought to be 'dumb kids,' a baby who gets more than four of her very sharp teeth, a singularly unpleasant man thought to be Count Omar, but in truth Count Olaf, green vegetables, and some very sad fairy tales. As I said before, I have sworn to write down the remaining history of these three unfortunate children, but you, my dear kind reader, have not. So please do not feel any obligation to read any further. With all due respect, Grace Someone |