![]() Name- Donnajo renfroe Age-??? fav color-black, blood red, dark purple, midnight blue, and hunters green hair -black (although i wish i could dye it blue:() hieght-like 5 foot Why are you talking during my class?" "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? "I'm following Godric's orders in getting you out, that's all." -Eric Northman Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT Jack was the most popular guy in school. The three most popular girls were Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma. Jack thought of Ashley as OKAY, but he REALLy liked Courtney. Courtney liked jack also. Well of course she did, everyone did! Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies. Courtney tried to steal Jack away everytime she had a chance to. One day, Courtney asked Jack if he wanted to go to the movies. Ashley heard everything...what movie theatre and what time. Ashley approached the movies that night and followed Jack and Courtney. Ashley sat right behind them. She watched them get close to each other and kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it on in the theatre. Courtney told jack "Do you want to come to my place and skip this boring movie?" He replied "hell yes." Ashley had peeked through Courtney's window. Jack and her were messing around and Ashley watched the whole thing. The next day at school Ashley wasn't there. For the next few days Ashley wasn't there. A week later her mother found her in her closet dead... she committed suicide because she had loved A note that read: My dearest Jack, I watched you at the movie and at Courtney's house and I will continue to watch you. I never thought you would do something like this to me. I really loved you jack. I died for you just like Jesus died for us. Always with you, Ashley Please forward this or Ashley will haunt you and try to kill you because she wants everyone to know about Courtney.- Warning;; Before you make that first cut, remember-- You're talking to a girl who has had her heart broken, cried for continuous hours, yelled & screamed for help. a girl who turned her back on the world & a girl who did nothing but love someone who couldn't love her back. cut me up, just like a piece of paper, i mean nothing more to you but sometimes acting happy please take this razor blade from my hand she cut more and more i walked through the hallway hold a knife to my wrist, the rain was falling fast, a cut that will go i know its wrong but its [ feels ] so right a new cut;; a new bracelet found a box of sharp objects ask me how many times, falling in love for the first time is easy. it's the second time around, he said, "I'll love you till you die" now that you're gone I'll wake up everyday wishing I was dead, and put on my 'happy face' to go out and lie to the world I hide a broken heart behind a laughing face All those times How many days in a year im at this point in my life, We used to be so close but now we can be standing right you can miss someone that died. force a smile; blink away the tears Do you know what it feels like to hate yourself? shes choking on every word The trouble with love is; Trying to forget the scars i'm living in an empty room Hide the guns, How does it feel to be hated as you are? I'm falling so fast yuo'd never guessa girl I wrote you a sad song, You think you know everything You think I have betrayed you, left you But you are wrong You think you know everything But you do not know the truth I stood by you Until the end I fought for you I took your side; I took the blame Like a fool I trusted you, believed you Like a fool I trusted us I trusted on our love And I stood strong for us Because I believed in you But you betrayed me, lied to me Told lies about me As if it was not enough that I took the blame upon myself You blamed me as well You turned the truth upside down and me inside out You broke my heart You broke me into pieces I try to live but I can not I try to be but I can not be anything without you I can not believe this has happened Even though I am alive I am dead on the inside I long for you I long to speak to you I long to hold you To me it feels as if nothing changed between us But that is just in my heart; I know the truth and it hurts me I am not the same; I am not I have a lot of pain that needs to come out But it can not, because I do not want to accept this that has happened To me everything is the same; in my heart nothing has changed And I believe one day we will meet again I will see you and then everything will reappear I need that time just to let you know the real truth And hear your side too My heart is with you; I still trust in you Do not let me down when that time comes Effective Ways On How To Annoy/Scare/Weird Out The Living Daylights Outta People (on elevators, in computer labs, etc.) 1. Repeat everything the person says in a question. 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. The Uncurable Disease Hi, my name is Kazu. I like Writing and I like Athletics. I am running down the road I suddenly tripped over. I come home with a scatch on my knee. My mummy begins to worry. I tell her I am fine. She sighs and says ok. I am at school. When suddenly I fall and hit a tree. I am sent to the sickbay. Then I am sent home. Mummy takes me to the doctors. The doctors tell mummy something. Mummy starts to cry. I tell her it's ok. I'm not going to die. She tells me I am starting. Starting to be slower. I don't know what it means. But I have become sick. I tell mummy it's ok. I will become better. Mummy starts to cry. Do I have cancer? Mummy says no. Then what do I suppose. As a year had past. I struggle to walk. My speech is getting slower. It's hard for me to talk. My friends like to help me. My classmates like to run. But I have to sit down. And watch them have fun. Then one day my teacher. Comes to see mummy. Daddy comes out. And starts to get all snotty. The teacher tells my parents. I can no longer go to school. My motion is too slow. I ask the teacher slowly. I am sorry I am useless. I start to cry and beg her. I want to go to school. The teacher gives a smile. And tells me she is sorry. The school cant really help me. The words were so cruel. The day I had to leave. My friends and classmates cried. The boys upon the windows. Wave to me goodbye. I smile and sit in the car. I am taken to a school. A school with special people. Just like me and you. I start to have some fun. I made a lot of friends. As many years passed again. I talk too slow to understand. I cannot run anymore. And I struggle to even stand. I cannot write in my diary. My motion is too slow. Then one day I am sent. To the hospital again. Now many years have passed. I lie in a warm bed. I cannot move my body. I cannot move again. I talk very slowly. I cannot move my head. My mummy sits there crying. My daddy looks depressed. I ask my mummy sadly. Am I going to die. My mother holds my hand. Yells and starts to cry. A few more years later. I have to shut my eyes. I cannot talk or move. I seem to have died. Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest. When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still like you. Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you. Don't be so humble - you're not that great. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Guys should be like lattes - rich, strong, and hot. C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. FATAL ERROR: Size of thought exceeds available memory. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... The best things in the world are free -- and worth every penny of it. Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind. Holdin Hands- Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times. Cuddling- Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold. Movies- Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder. Loving each other- Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it. Laying below the stars- Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat. Guys: NO GRABBING! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! If you haven't stopped, seriously stop! Guys repost this if you agree. Girls re-post this if you think it's cute. Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this . 1: 10 Husbands, Still a Virgin A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" 2: From A Mother With LoveDear Child, I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though. Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out. Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom. Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened. PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed 3: Revenge Is SweetThere once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years. Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance. "You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained. After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse. While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream. Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs. "You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!" 4: Yo mamma's so fat, even God couldn't lift her spirits! Yo mamma's so fat, she has her own zip code! Yo mamma's so fat, it takes a train and two buses to get on her good side. Yo mamma's so fat, when she stepped in the road and I tried to swerve around her, I ran out of gas! Yo mamma's so fat, when she walked in front of the TV, I missed five minutes of the show! Yo mamma's so fat, when she walked into a room, someone said, "Woah! Was that a solar eclipse or did Free Willie just walk in? Yo mamma's so fat, when she walked into a hotel and asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean! Yo mamma's so fat, she rents shade! Yo mamma's so fat, she invented the lowrider! Yo mamma's so fat, she tripped over K-Mart, stumbled over Wal-Mart and landed on Target! Yo mamma's so fat, when she puts on high heels in the morning, by the afternoon they're flats. Yo mamma's so fat, her picture weighs ten pounds. SO FUNNY* I didn't trip... I was testing Gravity! It still works "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" Did you fall? No, the floor looked like it needed a hug. Having a smoking section in a restraurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. Hug a tree: they have less issues than people. Dear Santa, If you leave a bike under the tree I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk. Timmy I had a GREAT dream about you last night! I was bashing your head into a wall! Yeah, it was great... If a man speaks in a forest, and no women is around to hear him, is he still wrong? Legally, it's questionable. Morally, it's disgusting. Personally, I like it. Awesome; without me, my friends are just aweso. I'd tell you I'm stalking you, but I don't think that would go over well. I never finish anyth 696 I'm evil, and twisted. If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable. lol; the perfect thing to type when there's nothing else to say. It's funnier now that I get it. Please don't throw your cigerate butts on the floor. The cockroaches are getting cancer. Video gamse ruined my life. Good thing I have two more. The guy may wear the pants in a relationship, but the girl controls the zipper. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. It's a shame stupidity isn't painful... Please, keep talking! I always yawn when I'm interested! Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. Tu Madre! Yeah, you just got burned in Spanish. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles." Everyone's unique in their own unique way. Therefore, being unique is not all that unique... All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Common sense is not so common. If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? He would make a lovely corpse. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally. Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY FRUIT LOOPS. Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang soda. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you. Don’t be humble. You’re not that great. He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it. Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything. When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like? Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here). I was wondering why frisbees got bigger as they got closer, then it hit me. Don't There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest have to test the electric fence for themselves I once shot a man just to watch him die...but I got distracted and missed it It takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me Bravery is just a nice way of saying stupidity Ambition is just a lame excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're an idiot “Learning. Politics. Getting weaker...” "So... what you're saying is, I should cancel my plans to invade China." "Evil Beware; we have waffles." When in doubt we fight using fish! Duct tape is like the force. Dark on one side, light on the other, and it holds the universe together. Last night I was looking up at the stars, when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?" If at first you don’t succeed...Cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie. If crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? "I'm not crazy; I'm just going sane in an insane world." "When life gives you lemons, throw them at the mean people and hope it gets them in the eyes." "When life gives you lemons, make grape soda and let the world wonder how you did it." "When life gives you lemons, throw them back and say 'make your own freaking lemonade'." "Before you insult someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you do insult them you are a mile away and you have their shoes." ( )( )( )( )( )( ) _ ɪƒ ƴσυ'ʀє αʟσηє, "Haikus are easy "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it." "Who ever said anything was possible never tried nailing jello to a tree." "Who ever said anything was possible never tried slamming a revolving door." Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind. worry about what people think. They don't do it very often. Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go. I think , Therefore we have nothing in common I'm not fluent in IDIOT, So please speak slowly and clearly If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong Every One Has The Right To Be Stupid But You're Abusing the Privilege I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list Let's share, You'll take the grenade, I'll take the pin Those who laugh last thinks slowest He said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you don't have anything to put in it. Will eat for food. By the time you read this, you've already read it. This is Bob. (o.o) Practice safe lunch: use condiments. We're all gonna die, but I got a helmet. They don't know that we know they know we know. 1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5) I WANT A GUY... who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me, hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous. Someone who would sing to me at random moments. Who would let me sleep on his chest. A BOY who would get mad at someone if they called me UGLY or were mean to me. I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away. Someone who would let me gossip to him and just smile and agree with everything I said. He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then KISS ME A MILLION TIMES. Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh. He would take me to the park and put his hands around my waist and give me big bearhugs all the time. He would tell all his friends about me and SMILE when he did. And we'd make out in the pouring rain. He would never be afraid to say "I love you" in front of his friends, and we'd argue about silly things and then make up. I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Years and COUNT STARS with me. Who would stay home with me on a Friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket. Someone who would tell me I'm beauiful but not too often, who would make me laugh like NO ONE else could. But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never BREAK MY HEART {Vampire Academy} "Don't worry, I won't bite. At least not in the way you're afraid of." "My cigarettes and I are going outside. At least they show me respect.." "Rose is in red, but never in blue, sharp as a thorn, fights like one too." "I'd said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass." "No. If I let myself love you, I won't throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you." "You screw with me, I'll screw you right back" "Think about me naked on your own time" "It's always a good time to think about you naked." I'm Zmey's daughter. Zmey junior. Zmeyette even. "The only thing better than imagining Dimitri carrying me in his arms was imagining him shirtless while carrying me in his arms." "Rose: "Do you think I'm pretty?" what's your name?" "There's nothing worse than waiting and not knowing what'll happen to you. Your own imagination can be crueler than any captor." "By the way, my name's Rose Hathaway. I'm seventeen years old, training to protect and kill vampires, in love with a completely unsuitable guy, and have a best friend whose weird magic could drive her crazy. Hey, no one said high school was easy." "Dimitri: 'It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay. You can let go of the sword.’ "Eddie: If I didn't know any better, i'd say you just defended Christian's honor. Isn't he a pain in the ass? "Rose: What other stories?” "I set off, off to kill the man I love." "Wait. You think I'm going to die? That's why you slept with me?" "And I thought the whole point of my education was that violence IS the answer. "Rose. Listen to me. Run. Run as fast and as hard as you can back to your dorm. Tell the guardians." "you will lose what you value most "You forgot another lesson: Never turn your back until you know your enemy is dead. Looks like we’ll have to go over the lesson again the next time I see you—which will be soon. "Did you see that dress?” "I saw the dress.” "Did you like it?” He didn't answer. I took that as a yes. "Am I going to endanger my reputation if I wear it to the dance?” When he spoke, I could barely hear him. "You'll endanger the school.” I smiled and fell asleep. "Stop fighting me!" he said, trying to pull on the arm he held. "Lissa and I had been friends ever since kindergarten, when our teacher had paired us up together for writing lessons. Forcing five-year-olds so spell Vasilisa Dragomir and Rosemarie Hathaway was beyond cruel, and we’d–or rather, I’d–responded appropriately. I’d chucked my book at out teacher and called her a fascist bastard. I hadn’t known what those words meant, but I’d known how to hit a moving target. Lissa and I had been inseparable ever since." "Okay, God, I thought. Get me out of this and I’ll stop my half-assed churchgoing ways(...)Let me get out of here, and I’ll . . . I don’t know. Donate Adrian’s money to the poor. Get baptized. Join a convent. Well, no. Not that last one." "adrian will you shut the hell up for five seconds?!!!" Dimitri: "i've given up on you. love fades. mine" --SB "Did you know that Victor Dashkov is sitting on your bed?" --Adrian SB "He has no right to threaten my boyfriends! I'm eighteen. An adult. I don't need his help. I can threaten my boyfriends myself." He shrugged and finished his second glass of wine. "I don't know. This college would probably have the same problem the last one did." "So you're going off with Lissa?" he asked when we reached my room. "Dreams, dreams. I walk them; I live them. I delude myself with them. It's a wonder I can spot reality anymore." "You're beautiful in battle," said Dimitri. His cold voice carried to me clearly, even above the roar of combat. "Like an avenging angel come to deliver the justice of heaven." "Even when we're apart, we'll be looking at the same sky!" "You know, you've never really cared about anyone," he said. "But someday you will, and it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt a lot." "Ash? Get bent and die." "It did cross our minds at one point. Actually, it seemed to keep crossing them. Back and forth. Maybe we should put in a crosswalk." "I don't need to kill goats to say things. I CAN talk." "Ghouls weren't smart, but like the Energizer Bunny they kept going and going." "The thing is- and I know this is going to sound strabge-that I seem to love you sort of desperately" "Even if you kill her, she'll still be alive-here." He tapped his chest. "In me. I keep her here. She's part of me. So until you kill me, you can't really kill her. And you can't win. It's that simple." "DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME, JEZEBEL! DON'T YOU DARE! Or I'll follow you to the next world and KILL you." "She was with her flying companion-her playmate. The one who was sacred to her, who was the other half of the mysteries of life for her. The one who would always be there for her, helping her, watching her back, picking her up when she fell down, listening to her stories-no matter how many times she told them. Loving her even when she was stupid. Understanding her without words. Being inside the innermost circle in her mind. Her soulmate." "My first kiss and I'm camotose. Great." "This kitten has claws." "You can't tell me? You disappear one day without any kind of warning, without any kind of note...you leave the gang and me and just competely vanish and nobody know where to find you, not even your uncle...and now you appear again and now you can't tell me where you were?" He was working himself into one of his Extremely Excited States, Jez realised." Tell Hugh," she whispered. Poppy: Um, can we cross running water? "love is for weak people, its a delusion and it can be deadly" "I'll go sleep on the couch," James said. "No, you won't," Poppy said firmly. She flopped on the bed beside him. "You're dead tired. And I know I'm safe with you." James grinned without moving his arm. "Because I'm dead tired?" "Mary-Lynnette had an inexplicable impulse to knock Ash flat and fall down on top of him. She'd never felt that for any boy before." "You don't love somebody because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song that nobody but you can understand" "The only thing Mary-Lynette longed for was somebody to understand...to understand the night with you, a distant part of her mind whispered. And instead here she was, stuck with a guy whose own sisters were terrified of him" "Everything he was, everything he believed about himself...could he lose it all in five minutes? For a girl who was probably deranged and certainly more dangerous that all his three of his sister put together? No, he concluded grimly. Absolutley not. Not in five minutes. It only took five seconds." "Please don't temp me. If i take to much (blood) you'll be seriously weak. I mean it sweetheart." {House of Night series} "If I died, would it get me out of my geometry test tomorrow? One could only hope." Before I could cry or scream I whirled around and stalked to my bedroom,slamming the door behind me. "I'm going to heaven. Well, that'll shock some people." "Actually, since I'm gay I think I should count for two guys instead of just one. I mean, in me you get the male point of view and you don't have to worry about me wanting to touch your boobies." "Kayla Robinson if you don't shut up I'll fly down there and suck every last bit of blood from your stupid cheating cow body!" "Hey, you've seen me drink blood from a cup and like it, puke, kiss a guy, lick his blood like I'm a puppy, and them bawl my eyes out. And I've seen you turn down a blow job, I think I can manage to answer a kinda personal question." "It is your business...At least I'd like it to be your business." "I have a feeling it's a brown-pop-for-breakfast kind of day." "Well, at least my friends didn't know what a bloodlust-filled, hornie freak I was turning into." "That's us: homos - the few, the proud, the hypersensitive." "Aphrodite makes us understand why women have drowned their babies." "Well, don't get all warm and tingly. As soon as I find her, I'm going to drown her in the bathtub." "It's harder for him to get into your dreams if you're not sleeping alone." "I would tell you that you looked really hot today when I saw you naked, but that probably wouldn't be appropriate, being as we're in bed together but not doing anything." "You're my queen, and anyone who says different can fuck off." "Im not letting my best freind die. been there done that. i got that freakin tshirt" {The Immortals Series} "The kiss gets sweeter with every incarnation." "Oh, so you see some chick in baggy jeans and a hoodie, and you just have to have her so bad, you decide to repeat high school, just to get her?" "Hating you would require caring about you. In which case, I couldn't possibley hate you." "And now I'm right back where I started. Sober and miserable." "I was a beautiful vampire princess loved, worshiped and admired by all. I lived in a luxurious gothic castle and I have no idea how I ended up at this fiberglass table with you losers" "I'm after something far more esoteric than a virginal shag. Though, if you'd like, darlin', I'm certainly up for the task." {works of Ellen Hopkins} "When you love someone, you don't want to hurt them, even if they deserve to be hurt. When you love someone, you want to hurt them, even when they don't deserve to be hurt." "Alone, there is only one person inside. I've grown to like her better than the stuck up husk of me." "I can't deal with you're freaky "Act on your impulse, swallow the bottle, cut a little deeper, put the gun to your chest." "Smile. Nod. Say something witty before he finds out what an incredible geek you are." "Taking no chances means wasting your dreams." "Some people never find the right kind of love. your breath away, like diving into snowmelt. sets it beating apace, an anxious the kind that makes every terrible minute Some people flit from one possibility connection of two people, rocked by destiny. someone else more than themselves. of someone better, beyond this world. Lucky me. I found the right kind "Have you ever had so much to say that your mougth closed up tight struggling to harness the nuclear force coalescing within your words? "Happiness, you see, its just an illusion of Fate, a heavenly sleight of hand designed to make yo believe in fairy tales. But there's no happily ever after. You'll only find happy ending in books. Some books." "But more importantly, you are a gift to all who know you, whether or not they realize it. If they don't, they are blind. You have a special place in this world. All you have to do is find it. Do not give up on yourself, the truths you have realized. Do not give in to those who would crush your dreams like nutshells. And never, turn away form forever love." "But I liked him. I liked his optimism, his easy way with words. "Love is just another word for sex." "When you love someone, you don't want to hurt them, "Love means holding on to someone just as hard Buy me another beer you’re still ugly. Not till I see yours first… then I can run like fuck if necessary. Keep honking, I’m reloading. What do you mean I have ADD? Oh look, a butterfly! Would you like a kick in the nuts with that? I stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now. If I look lost and confused please return me to the bar. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be? 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. :oOoOo: I FALL UP THE STAIRS!!!!! (darn foot just doesn't want to listen to my f'ed up brain) x///x I like you. When i dominate the world, your death shall be quick and painless. I love it when a guy sees you crying, he hugs and the frist thing he says is, "who's ass do i have to kick?" Silence is Golden. Duck Tape is Silver. I'm not the girl your mom warned you about. Her imagination was never this good. When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place. Three simple rules: If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer will always be no. If you don't step forward, you'll always be in the same place. Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass: Sometimes it's better to leave it alone than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt. It's hard to wait around for something you know may never happen, but it's even harder when you know it's everything you want. It's the times we're so crazy that people think we're high. It's the times we laugh so hard, we can't help but cry. It's all the inside jokes and remember when’s. Those are all the reasons why we're best friends. I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me and say, "You're next." They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals. I am getting so tired of slitting the throats of the people who say I'm a violent psychopath. The best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we cry, kiss, and dream. You think I'm messed up? You should meet the rest of my family 1.Grab the book nearest to you, and go to page 111, Paragraph 6. What is it? He turned to me finally, looked me straight in the eyes ans said, "Why didn't it kill me,Ms. Black?" bloody bones by laurell k. hamilton 2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch? Empty air. 3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? king of the hill 4. Without looking, guess what time it is? 12:45? 5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 12:48 dang so close 6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? The TV 7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? a couple of hours ago i was talking to my sisters boyfriend while he smoked 8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? People FanFictioin pages. 9. What are you wearing? a baggie shirt and some pj bottoms 10. Did you dream last night? Um...a talking dog reading secret circle 11. When did you last laugh? Today 12. What are on the walls of the room you are in? a Picture 13. Seen anything weird lately? my cousin loolance dressed in my clothes and putting grapefruit in the bra he was wearing 14. What do you think of this quiz?idk 15. What is the last film you saw? paranormanl activity 2 xD 16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? I'd buy a buncha books and music and animals! And a new house with a library for all my books just for me! 17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:... wait wat do you know about me 18. If you could change two things about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? I'd kick the president out of the White House and get Starnge Fate out NOW!and make where gays can get married 19. Do you like to dance? I don't really know how... 20. George Bush: i'm going to plead the fifth on that one 21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Meredith or Airaya 22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Kisten or Stefan not stef-in (o) I JUST WANNA PLAY MY MUSIC!! .ılı.--Volume--.ılı.Min- - - - - - - - - - -Max 30% Chocolate lover If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile (Is it hot out there)(in the middle of summer) AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder. AV is Addicted to Vampires ADD is Automatic Death Disorder ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder WBWAVS is Wishing Bella Was A Vampire Syndrome LES is Love Edward Syndrome WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrom HELL i have ever single one! Put this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, has survived, or died of cancer(My uncle marty ...cancer down there...) Random Questions If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit? Random Quotes "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton Random Boys/Friends/People Things When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up! Random Randomness I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot. If you think Rap stands for Retards Attempting Poetry paste this on your profile Unique I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Lunamione7, Sunshine0235, Edwardcullenrocks, wolfpackgirlA-ya rly funny joke: Four guys were out golfing and one guy hit his ball out into the rough. He goes to look for it. The other three start to talk about their sons. The first guy says, "My sons' a doctor and he's doing so well that he's taking someone to Europe." The next guy said, "Well my son is a car salesman and he's doing so well, that he gave a car to someone." The third guy says, "Well my sons' a contractor and he's doing so well, that he built someone a house for free." The forth guy comes back and the others ask him what's going on with his son. He says, "Well he's gay." And the others say, "Oh, we're really sorry." The guy says, "Oh no, we're not upset. We're glad he feels comforable enough to tell us and besides, one guy gave him a free car, one guy built him a house, and another ones' taking him to Europe." Lets go commit a crime I steal your heart You steal mine there were 3girls They were looking through peoples The girl slowly came upon this one It had creatures in the background and the man She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was. Right then, an instant message came up. It said: SatanStalker: So how do u like my XxLoVemExX: What?? XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway?? SatanStalker: Well, you should know; XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro?? SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace. XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make SatanStalker: I just do. Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you. Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say. At the time the girl was wearing high She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me. SatanStalker: You should be afraid. SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you They were in shock. Her friend: Holy crap man just block him The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes SatanStalker: I am. SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really XxLoVemExX: What? My house? SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out. SatanStalker: Your screen name says SatanStalker has just signed off. The girl and her friend were really friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone. They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight. All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok. Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was She goes and knocks but no one said she opens it and finds her friend there on her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head. If you do not repost this in the next two one in your room, and one killing your parents at that Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for? Repost or you are going to die. time for some random crap: When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. --Favorite Quotes and Sayings and Stuffs-- Gσt A Prσblεm...Sσlνε It! Signs of being a true bookworm/book lover: 1. Book lovers/bookworms spend a lot of their time in bookstores and libraries. (yuppers ) 2. Book lovers/bookworms are the ones under most or all umbrellas at the beach. (whenever I stop reading to go to the beach, check) 3. Book lovers/bookworms tend to put many neccissary activities (like eating, using the bathroom, sleeping, etc.) second or even with reading. (to, to true... checkarony...) 4. Book lovers/bookworms love everything associated with books. (I LOVE BOOKLIGHTS!!! XD check, check, check) Joke: At the spaceship of the alien... The alien told his wife: At the tofu selling man house... The told his wife: See what wrong sign language can do to people... sigh (\ /) The Rules of Hogwarts 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms" 8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus's "time of the month" 10) I am not allowed to make light sabre sounds with my wand 11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force" 13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work" 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it 16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive 17) I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day" 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor 21) I will not use the phrase, "Get a Life" when talking to Voldemort 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling 24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full" 25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate 27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways, not even on Halloween 28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colours indicate that they're "covered in bee's" 29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge 30) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core" 31) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm, not even if they are in Slytherin 32) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers 33) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion 34) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends" 35) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts 36) I do not have a Tom Felton Patronous 37) I will not lick Trevor 38) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey" 39) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween 40) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously 41) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions 42) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet 43) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice 44) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God 45) In the middle of the tri wizard tournament I will not scream "Are you trying to kill them?!" 46) I will not draw a thunder scar on my forehead and tell everyone i'm 'The-Other-Person-Who-Lived' and round up a ginger guy and a bushy-haired, bookworm to seem like Harry Potter. 47) I will not try and immitate Snape's voice from a wall and sneak up on first years just to scare them. 48) I will not call Harry Potter a tosser. 49) Must not shout 'Yay, I graduated from Hogwarts. I didn't get expelled. In your face fat giant!' to Hagrid. 50) Never stalk Hermione in the library and become the new Viktor Krum, whether i'm a girl or not. 51) I will not pick my nose with my wand or anyone else's. 52) Must not try out to get into my house Quidditch team and keep using a Confundus charm to get in. 53) Must not interrupt and shout 'WHOO! Way to go' every time Dumbledore or anyone makes a speech in The Great Hall. 1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an 2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places 3. Only in America...do drugstores 4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, 5. Only in America...do banks leave 6. Only in 7. Only in America...do we use 8. 9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to Fun things to do in the office to make people think you're crazy Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.) It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. You laugh at me because I'm a retard, I laugh cause you just figured it out. If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this into your profile. HELP I'VE FALLEN AND...hey nice carpet!! Elephant that barks Do you know those kind of animal kiddie's ride, with all sorts types of robot animals, like elephant, cat, dog...etc? Imagine when this happens: So you see, WHAT IVE LEARNED FROM THE WINCHESTERS If your dad is on a hunting trip and you haven't heard from him in a few days, it's time to be worried When your kid say's he's scared of the dark, give him a .45. Chick flick moments are not allowed It's just about always a bad idea to pick up pretty hitchhikers Sam and Dean do not work for the mandroid Some people store human parts behind the HaagenDaas. Only a heathen would suggest digging up Johnny Ramone's grave. (Why would anyone do that?! Johnny Ramone!) Sometimes apple pie is not freaking worth it! If you see an ugly painting that features a sharp instrument and a creepy little girl, don't buy it ALiens like to slow dance Chicks dig the danger vibe Art history courses are good for meeting girls One should be warned before being violated by Demon tongue Planes crash and clowns kill Fat Drunk and Stupid is no way to go through life Dean Winchester is Batman Losing your shoe only makes a bad day worse Some alarms are as useful as boobs on a man You shouldn't shoot people in public, no matter how much they annoy you When faced with a crises, ask yourself, what would buffy do? Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole Salt is by far the most useful condiment ever invented If you have faith, you can't just have it when the miracles happen, you also have to have it when they dont When someone tells you a place is haunted, don't go in! If you obey your dad with a good attitude, you always get the extra cookie Always remove your christmas decorations vefore New Years or you just might get filleted by a hooker from God Donuts are not love Demons I get, people are crazy Deep gashes and wounds heal and leave no scar You don't break a curse, you get out of its way Never pick a fight with a guy named Tiny Stay inside the magic circle Cigarettes are standard currency in prison Ghosts are better than rats There's no knife that can kill a demon Rabbits foot, not lucky for the rabbit and worse for you It sucks to die in a hospital if none of the nurses are hot Beware of angry cockerspaniels and pianos above your head In the middle of an investigation, you don't have time for any blah blah blah The pay for hunting as a day job is crap Funkytown is a perfectly acceptable codeword for when someone has a gun pointed at your head Latin can be very useful Carry on my wayward son / there'll be peace when you are done / lay your weary head to rest / don't you cry no more "Well, since we've already broken the fuck barrier, allow me to be blunt. It is because I'm so fucking smart that I make smart people feel like they are retarded." "Let's rock this bitch!" "SHUT UP! Romeo's cryin!" "He is a short little fucker!" "Can I consider myself your girlfriend too?" "No... You just hail from a colourful.." WHAT A KISS MEANS Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready" What the gesture means... --Advice-- --Requirements-- If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now 1.) How am I feeling today? diva 2.) Where will I get married? sold me 3.) What is my best friend's theme song? just to get high 4.) What is/was highschool like? murder go round (HAHA) 5.) What is the best thing about me? I stand alone 6.) How is today going to be? without you 7.) What is in store for this weekend? I ain't him (uh...i'm a girl) 8.)What song describes my parents? broken 9.) How is my life going? she got it 10.)What song will they play at my funeral? all by myself 11.) How does the world see me? she's a rebel 12.) What do my friends really think of me that's the way it gonna be 13) Do people secretly like me? lips of an agel 14.) How can I make myself happy? end of days (O.o) 15.) What should I do with my life? bella's lullaby 16.) Will I be happy? i caught myself 17.) What is some good advice? the real slim shady 18.) What do I think my current theme song is? porno creep 19.) What does everyone else think my current theme song is? my life 20.) What type of men/women do you like? lemonade 21.) Will you get married? i stand alone (wait so i'm not getting married?) 22.)What should I do with my love life? everybody's fool 23.) Where will you live? southside 24.) What will your dying words be? voodoo 25.) Am I hot? all these things i hate 26) What are your hobbies love in this club 27)Do you like sports? fuck the world 28)Do you talk a lot? tongue 29)Do you like books? remedy 30)do you like yourself? sympathetic 50 things to do on an elevator. 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of you kleenex to other passengers 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, damnit, all of you just shut up!" 4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It a Small World" incessantly. 5. Sell Girl Scout cookies. 6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequence of the elevator. 7. Shave. 8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. 10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the door open, then act embarrassed when they open themselves. 12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol comming!" 13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 14. One word: Flatulence! 15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. 16. Do Tai Chi exercises. 17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!" 19. Meow occasionally. 20. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. 21. Push all of the buttons when you get off... Works great if there are still people on it. 22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" 23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. 24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. 25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 28. Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty!" 29. Leave a box between the doors. 30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. 31. Wear a puppet on you hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. 32. Start a sing-along. 33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?" 34. Play the harmonica. 35. Shadow box. 36. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 37. Lean against the button panel. 38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 39. Listen to the elevator wall with a stethoscope. 40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "Personal space." 41. Bring a chair along to sit in. 42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?" 43. Blow spit bubbles. 44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. 45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 46. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 47. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. 48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers. 49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger." 50. When the elevator starts moving you move up & down until the elevator shakes and yell "EARTHQUAKE!" :.:7 Ways to Scare your roommates:.: 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY FRUIT LOOPS. "Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang soda" Reasons why girls are the best 1.We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look effin gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. LADIES don't start fights,we FINISH them. "Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days." Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid? Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. How to Tell if You're a Writer -If you talk to yourself. Life's funniest Questions - Some things just don't make sense; 1. When a cow laughs, does milk come out it's nose? 2. If stealing from one book is plagiarism, why is stealing from many research? 3. If vegetable oil is made out of vegetables, what is baby oil made out of? 4. Why is the alphabet in that order? 5. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest of them have to drown too? 6. What was the best thing before sliced bread? 7. If everything 'tastes like chicken', what does chicken taste like? My name is Tiffany I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I was better I wish i weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't do a wrong I can't speak at all, Or else i'm locked up All day long When I am awake I am alone The house is dark My folks arn't home When mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, so maybe i'll just get one whipping tonight I just heard a car My daddy is back From charlie's bar i hear him curse my name is called i press myself agaisnt the wall. i try to hide from his evil eyes i am so afriad now i am starign to cry he finds me weeping calls me ugly words, he says it's my fauly he suffers at work he slaps and hits me yells at me more i finally get free and run to the door. he's already locked it i start to bawl he takes me throws me agasint the hard wall i fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken and my daddy continues with more bad words spoken "I'm sorry!" i scream but it's now to late his face has ben twisted into a unimaginable shape the hurt and the pain again and again O please god, have mercy! O please let it end! and he finally stops and heads for the door while i lay there motionless brawled on the floor My name is Tiffany i am three tonight my daddy murdered me and you can help sickens me top soul and if you don't read this and don't pass it on, i pray for your fogiveness beacuse you would have to be one haeartless person not to be effected by this poem and because you are effected do something about it! so all i ask you is to pass it on! IF YOU ARE AGAISNT CHILD ABUSE REPOST THIS!! This too... This is damn important. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. Post this on your page if you support homosexuals and think people need to get over themselves and realize that those that like the same sex are people too. Try Not To Cry Her name was Auroura Her dad was a drunk Her only friend She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrusted the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile. Spell Your Name Normally: Donnajo or Dj Heaven kicked me out, Hell's afraid I'll take over, so I guess I'm stuck here. One night I was staring up into the stars, and then I began to wonder . . . where the hell is my roof?! I promise to remember Bella Each time I carelessly fall down And I promise to remember Edward Whenever I'm out of town I promise to obey traffic laws For Charlies sake of course And I promise to remember Jacob When my heart fills with remorse I promise to remember Carlisle Whenever I am in the emergency room And I promise to remember Emmett Every time there's a huge boom I promise to to remember Rose Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty And I promise to remember Alice When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me I promise to remember Nessie When I see that beautiful bronze hair And I promise to remember Esme When someone tells me they care I promise to remember Jasper Whenever my stomach isn't curled And I promise to remember the Volturi When someone speaks of dominating the world Yes, I promise to love Twilight Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the Twilighters know Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc... Taste the rainbow . . . eat crayons! A computer can beat me at chess, but it can't beat me in kick boxing. Here's a llama, there's a llama . . . HOLY SHIT A REAL LLAMA!! Never walk up to Death's front door, ring the door bell, and the run away. He hates that. If a postive plus a postive equals a postive, then two stupid people make a smart person. There's no "I" in "Team" but there's an "I" in "Meatpie" and "Meat" in the anagram of "Team" Did you know that when the men in white come to take you away in the foam van, that if you start bouncing off the walls, that's how they tell if your actually insane? Boys are like slinkys . . . useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. Whoever said nothing's impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. THINGS PEOPLE DO TO SERIOUSLY GET ON MY NERVES(AARRRGGGHHHH!!) 2. People who are willing to get off their butt to 3. When people say 'Oh you just want to have your 4. When people say 'it's always the last place you 5. When people say while watching a movie 'did you see 6. People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... 7. When something is 'new and improved!', which is 8. When people say 'life is short'. What in the world?! 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down. I love you. True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream" One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem. My husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!" Mr. Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off once more. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck with the hatpin again. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that god damned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!" "Amen," replied the congregation If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this into your profile. One of your best friends IS insane, copy this into your profile. You have said something you were thinking out loud without knowing, copy this into your profile. You don't care if your not popular, you just who you are. Copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever gone around poking random people copy and paste this into your profile. have the kind of friends that if my house was burning down, they'd be there making S'mores and hitting on hot firemen. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me? It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it? Someone once told me that happiness was just around the corner. I told them that world is round. Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional... If two wrongs don't make a right, try three Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. I'm not random, i just have many thou- OH A SQUIRREL! Elmo knows where you live! Forever isn't as long as it use to be. Ever stop to think and forget to start again? I smile because I have no idea what's going on! I ran with scissors, and lived! You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Be nice to losers. one day they might be cool! There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss. The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. He who laughs last didn't get it. Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. I'm smiling. That alone should scare you. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it Silence is golden, duct tape is silver Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why. Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it The best place to hide is in plain sight. Guys aren't worth your tears. I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away. I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless. If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth. Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun. I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You shall be my squishy! I used to care, but I take a pill for that now. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE. Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. Live dangerous…Run with scissors. I’m so clever that sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m saying Love is like snot. You keep picking at it until you get to it, then you wonder what to do with it. Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it. After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done. At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote. Happiness is your dentist telling you “it won't hurt a bit,” and then he catches his hand in the drill. If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it. A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking. Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out Stupidity kills, unfortunately not fast enough Diamonds are a girls best friend...because they're sharper then knives. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. No ones perfect… well there was this one guy but we killed him My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. I am a peaceful person that is filled with violent rage. I’ve stopped listening, why haven’t you stopped talking? There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it. Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I see regular people! I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. Boys are like lava lamps fun to look at, but not very bright. I'm the type of girl who will laugh at a scary movie, but screams bloody murder when toast pops out the toaster. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. I'm not insane... I just do what the voices tell me to. I say we shoot cupid. I didn't loose my mind, I sold it on eBay. Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas. You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now! Don't talk unless you can improve the silence Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge. I have opinions of my own,strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. I couldn't repair your brakes so I made your horn louder. Work,yeah, I tried it once,worst 7 minutes of my life. Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust? Sometimes when I'm alone in a room I like to say, “I know you’re listening” because if I'm wrong then no one heard but if im right then I just freaked the heck out of some secret organization. To put it nicely, I hope you choke. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. I'm not insensitive, I just don't care Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape. Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. I don't obsess! I think intensely. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. "Ow, OK that hurt" - Tripple H Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. --Mark Twain No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. --Elanor Roosevelt Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered, it keeps not record of wrongs. --1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Stand up for what is right even if you're standing alone. --Unknown Don't wait for your ship to come in. Row out to meet it. --H. Jackson Brown Don't worry about the people in the past. There's a reason they didn't make it to your future. --Unknown Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. --Dr.Suess Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands. --Ernest Gaines Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we care about leaves, but the truth is, it’s not our loss…it’s theirs, because they left the only person in the world who would never give up on them. --Unknown Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to. --Unknown No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. --Michael Pritchard Oppertunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. --Thomas Edison Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. --Will Rogers I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. --Sir Winston Churchill In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. --Fran Lebowitz You don't love a woman because she's beautiful, but she's beautiful because you love her. --Unknown Another flaw in the human nature is that everyone wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance. --Kurt Vonnegut The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. --Tom Clancy How on earth are you ever going to explain interms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? --Albert Einstein It matters not what someone is born but what they grow to be! --Dumbledore If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. --Unknown Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. --Unknown They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people" well I think the guns help if you stood there and yelled bang I don't think you'd kill too many people. Some see the glass as half empty, others see the glass as half full. Me? I just wanna know who the hell is drinking my damn beer. Love isn't what makes the world go round, love is what makes the ride worth while. You say pshyco like it's a bad thing. Penguins are stealing my sanity, one day at a time. I'll protect you because I know you're worth protecting. Bite me and I'll bite back. Lay a hand on my crew and I'll come after you. I'll always come to save your damn ass because that's what a soulja girl does. I fight because I refuse to let someone else fight for me. Just because you lost hope in the world doesn't mean you can loose hope in its people. I was tired, broken, hurt, sad, pained, lost, and left for dead while you walked away. That is what made me strong. Tell me. How can I cry when the tears are stuck behind the dam in my heart that holds everything back. It feels like this pain will last forever, it feels like this hurt will never go away. I've had bruised ribs, broken arms, head busted open, torn muscles, drowned, suffocated, and stopped breathing a couple times. I still haven't broke. What makes you think you can hurt me? Fighting for you is all I know how to do. I wished upon a falling star to make me stronger. It came true because the next day I was able to stand while being left by you. Pain doesn't hurt when it's all you've ever felt. You say that pain is good, but have you ever felt it? And she's so scared to get close to anyone, because anyone who has ever said," I'll be there" left. Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are. I'm not some innocent little girl who needs to be protected. My life story seems happy, that's just because I edited out all the bad parts. Love isn't everything it's cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the problem is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. Life isn't waiting for the storm to pass, it's learning how to dance in the rain. "NO! You wanna know the real reason your afraid, because you wanna be with me too!" "You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel." Sometimes when I say, "Oh I'm fine," I want someone to look me in the eye and say, "Tell the truth." She finally gave up. She dropped the fake smile as a tear rolled down her cheek she whispered, "I can't do this anymore." Be loved but never love. Attach but never combine. Trip but never fall. To be broken is better than shattered. Tell him of your strength but never of your past. Be trustworthy but never trust. Be cracked but never open. We were given two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. But only one heart? Because the other one was given to someone for us to find. You see that girl over there? That's my best friend, YOU break her heart... I break your face!! I ain't no one's second choice! SO GET OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I BREAK IT!! Believe in fairies. They make dreams come true. Believe in the wonder. The stars and the moon. Believe in magic. From the fairies above. They dance on the flowers. And sing songs of love. And if you just believe. And always say the truth. The fairies will be there. To watch over you. She used to live. She used to give. She always enjoyed life. The way it was meant. But clouds they came. And played their game. Casting a spell so she'd fade away. But will she stand up? To fight and protect her life. Be what she wanted to be... An angel in the dark. He's so confusing the things he says makes me think he really does like me and other things he says makes me think I'm just the girl that never crosses his mind. Happiness often sneaks through a door you didn't know you left open. --John Barrymore Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace. -- Oscar Wilde If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... and then find someone who's life has given them Vodka, and have a party. --Ron White Be very careful if you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. Every tear a woman shed is equivalent to man's sacrifices in life. The woman came from a man's rib, not from his feet to be stepped on; not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal. Under his arms to be protected and near his heart to be loved. "That I know, that Miz...Is really not that good. And on top of that he has a face for radio." - John Cena "I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises." -Buzz Aldrin "In the morning I will be sober but you shall still be ugly." - Sir Winston Churchill "What are Fred and I, next-door neighbors?" - George Weasley Life, is like God's way of kicking your sorry ass out of heaven and yelling, "AND DON'T COME BACK!!" Death, is like God's way of dragging you back up to heaven by your collar, mumbling, "Okay, I think you've done enough damage..." "You may not like Miz and quite frankly I don't." - WWE commentator (Can't remember which one.) "I still can't believe out of ten million sperm... you were the winner." - Chris Garver, Miami Ink "Will someone please shoot him!" "What does it look like we're doing?" "MISSING!" - The Baddies, The Marine Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... (who doesn't love the irony :P) Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. "Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your "Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take "Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran The little boy pressed his face against the chain Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably "I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy. "How much?" asked the little boy. "No charge," The world is full of people who need someone who Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. fav conversation "hey guess wat"-taylor "you.. ah.. forgot where you left your mind?"-me "No i know where i...Wait what!?"-taylor "haha nothin"-me I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me." "I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. Jacob 1. You are completely in love with this person. "I am the girl that hardly goes to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I mostly just sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a while. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with reading, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone Girls Death of an Innocent I went to a party, Mom, 25 Signs You Are Obsessed With Twilight 1. You get excited every time you see a Volvo, whether it's gray or not. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, KunoichiKagi,fallen tenshi412,Mangafan13, DaggerMutt, wolfpackgirlA-ya If you approve of gay-marriages put this on your profile and add your name to the list. Gaara's-pandachan101, art-is-a-BANG-2-hard-to-resist, Lee-All-The-Way, Starchip13, Wistful-Dreamer,DaggerMutt, Twilightsutiexo, wolfpackgirlA-ya Funny Quotes: - If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty. - All work and no play means you will die in seven days... dun dun duuun. - I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous. - Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia. - Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid. - They say "guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, 'cause if you just stood ther and yelled BANG, I dont think you'd kill too many people. - So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil? - People are like slinkies; basically useless, but so amusing to watch fall down the stairs. - Children in the dark make accidents. Accidents in the dark make children. - Closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths. - Yeah, I'm a loser, but the coolest loser you'll ever meet. - Cute but psycho- things even out. - Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate. - I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache. - I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms. - I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. - No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me. - You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. - 'It's always the last place you look'. Well of course it is! Why the heck would I keep looking after I found it! - When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really, who likes lemons? - When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. - When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then. - When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! - I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me. - I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? - I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. - Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one. - Why do people always say life is short. Life is the longest damn thing you can do. - Love your enemies. It pisses them off. - Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings? - I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out. - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! But not my brain- I need that. - Practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect, so why practice? - Nobody is perfect. I am nobody. - Life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over. - Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried. - Shit happens. But mostly to me, so dont worry. - Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again! - Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door. - Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried skydiving without a parachute... Or maybe they did. I mean we never really met whoever said it, did we? - Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to. - I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept! - Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide. - I was uncool before uncool was cool. - Why get high when there are other ways to achieve a smug sense of superiority- sarcasm: my anti-drug. - Caution: I tend to make wierd faces. - I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it. - I used to see a shrink... until she said life isn't for everyone. - You have one advantage over me: you can kiss my ass. I cant. - I can resist anything but temptation. - Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it. - All those who have telekenesis, raise my hand. - Why do they steralize the needle for lethal injections? - How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. - If superman is bulletproof, why does he duck when you throw the gun at him? - If asteroids are in the hemisphere, and hemroids are on your ass, why are they named the way they are? - I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there. - Money can't buy happiness. It just buys everything you need to achieve it. - Three wise women would have stopped to ask for directions, got to the stable on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, cooked the dinner, and then there would have been peace on earth. - The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide. - I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers. - Don't call me emo, or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain. And then I'll die and it'll be ALL YOUR FAULT. - Your wierdness is creeping out my imaginary friend. - Tell the truth and run. - If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from? - Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli', meaning many, and 'tics', as in the bloodsucking creatures? - If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something. - You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump of a cliff, I laugh even harder. - Friends will always be like 'well you deserve better'. Best friends will go up to him, infont of all his friends, and say 'it's because your gay, isnt it?' - A good friend will always bail you out of jail. A best friend is sitting there next to you in the cell saying 'man that was fun!' - Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Education is important. school however, is another matter. - I used to be normal... until I met those freaks i call my friends. - I dont obssess! I think intensley! - Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. - Do people even know what 'pro-biotic' and 'omega 3 fatty acids' are? Beacuse the yogurt may taste good, but it sounds pretty gross to me. - It's not just your family. It's the whole idea of... you know. They're always telling you what to do and what not to do, and it's not conductive to a creative atmosphere! - Joey ate my last stick of gum. So I killed him... do you think that was wrong? - All right, all right. If you have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing is right... and that's what deathbeds are for. - Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its pupils. - The one who smiles when things go wrong, has thought of someone to blame it on. - Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. - I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it - I was born intelligent. Education ruined me. - If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are these "others" here for? - Since light travels faster than sound, it explains why people appear bright until you hear them speak. - How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word? - Money isn't everything- there's Mastercard and Visa too. - Behind every successful man there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. - Success is a relative term. It attracts all the relatives. - There should be a better way to start the day than waking up every morning. - 'Hard work never killed anybody' But why take the risk? - God made relatives. Thank god we can choose our friends. - The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know... so why learn in the first place? - Reality has no background music... so I make my own (doo do do do do doo) - Oh, I have a photographic memory... it just hasn't developed yet - Life is a test- I didn't take very good notes - Whatever tickles your pickle - I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said of course not, so I told her I didn't do my homework - No I am not wierd... just plotting - If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms - You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you - I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours - If drama was vodka, my whole school would be wasted... except for me of course - I intend to live forever... so far so good - Will there be boys there? No mom, its a nun club - So what's the speed of dark? - I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep - Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again - Embrace the inner rebel- don't sit up straight - Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you - Textually active - Life is like a box of chocolates- it never lasts (which is so totally true if you stop to think about it instead of thinking it's such an emo thing to say, which I'm sure some of you are) - The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese! - The way your mind works gives a whole new meaning to the word complex... and not in a good way - Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk. The rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up - One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject - A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth while - I'm not insensitive, I just don't care - If two wrongs don't make a right, try three - When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide - Don't run in school- gliding is more fun! - Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history - What happens if you get scared half to death twice? ... oooh the possibilities -Librarians are the one terrorist group you don't want to mess with - Michael Moore I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.” - shing xiong “Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.” -Randall G Leighton “When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.” - Unknown “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Seuss "I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry." - Unknown “Live with no excuses and love with no regrets.” - Montel "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." - Erica Jong “As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.” - Unknown “Somewhere, someone, dreams of your smile and finds your presence in life worth while, so remember that when you are lonely someone somewhere is thinking of you.” - Unknown.. “Whatever happens, happens!” - Unknown “As you grow up, - Unknown “Believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” - marylin monroe “People are going to disappoint you. I get that. I kind of EXPECT that.” - Icon “Pain is good...it just doesn't feel that way at first.” “Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.” Erich Fromm “A friend is the one bailing you out of jail, but a best friend is the one in there saying "Man that was fun!" "Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you." “Love doesn't make the world go 'round. “I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.” “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” “I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.” “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” “I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.” “I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.” “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” “It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.” “Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.” “Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.” “Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!” “The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.” “There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.” "He gets a chair?! He kills bunnies!"- Abby on NCIS Put this on your channel TEAM PAUL!! B/C WE DONT LIKE BULLSHIT!(
If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, put this in your profile. What all Guys should do When she walks away from you mad, follow her If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile. If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile. If you think that Fan fiction absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this to your profile. If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever cried when your favorite character died/almost died, copy and paste this into your profile If you like to root for the bad guys in movies/TV shows, copy and paste this into your profile If you have inside jokes... with yourself... copy and paste this into your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile I believe best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you! What's the difference between a skydiver and a golfer? A golfer goes "(whack), oh shit!". A skydiver goes "Oh shit, (whack)" MEN DO WORK TWICE HAS HARD HAS WOMEN THAT'S BECAUSE WOMEN GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME 1) name your dog "dog" Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? Men are like bank accounts. What do you call dog with no legs? Girls Don't realize these things; I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" DADDY 'At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came If you love your dad, post this on your profile. It rained today and I remembered how we used to take those long walks in Cantrian Park. And when it would start to rain, you'd put you're coat over my head to keep me from getting wet, but no matter how hard it would pour, we would never go inside. You always liked the rain. You said it was one of the purest things on earth. You said that it washed away all the bad and left nothing but good. But the rain doesn't always wash away the bad. Because it rained today and you're still gone. It didn't wash away how much I miss you, or how much it hurts me to live every day without you there by me. All that's still here, Jon. Right here in my heart. You know, sometimes I cry in the rain. I cry because it reminds me so strongly of you . . .and when it's raining, no one really notices my tears . . . but you would've noticed, wouldn't you, Jon? You always knew so much about me. You were perfect. Always so loving, tender and kind. I miss you . . .I miss you all the time. Sometimes I hope that I won't wake up the next morning, so that I can be with you. But I always wake up, Jon. I always wake up! I can still remember the very last time you kissed me . . . and if I try hard enough I can still feel your lips on mine. You promised me that you would come back, Jon, you promised. You lied to me. You didn't come back. I waited and I waited but you never came. Oh, it's beginning to rain again . . . and I think I just saw lightening. I'd better go, Mum'll be affright if she sees my sopping wet, you know how she is. I just came to tell you that I love you . . .and to let you know . . .it rained today "Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, "thats her"... Dawww!!! :') 10th grade As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. 11th grade Senior year Graduation Day A Few Years Later Funeral Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost? Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together. He who laughs last didn't get it. He who laughs last thinks slowest. After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles." You know you live in 2006 (or later) when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. OMG... I feel so stupid... Some cool Quotes Love your enemies. It really pisses them off! A smile to put you on high... A kiss to set your soul alright...Would it be alright if I spent tonight being loved by you? Cruel, Beautiful, Nice, smart, caring, tough, strong and just about every other adjective is merely a matter of perspective. Pain makes you stronger. Just because I don't let you grope me constantly does not make me a prude, I am just not a whore. Don't forget to love yourself. A lot of people say live for the moment , but I don't agree. Live for what you believe in and hold onto every moment. It's a rainy day when you're not around Let love be your greatest aim. Life is the flower for which love is the honey. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness. Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you think about yourself. Love makes everything lovely. You're a 90's kid if: -You can finish this 'ice ice _' -You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet. Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!! FRIENDS: Never ask anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food. FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. Mrs and grandma and grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN we really messed up" FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!" FRIENDS: Wipes your tears when your rejected. BEST FRIENDS: Goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" FRIENDS: When you get thrown in jail will come bail you out. BEST FRIENDS: Will be in there with you going "Damn, we fucked up." FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. here's a tissue" FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"I'M HOME" FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we don't waste" FRIENDS: Will ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shit. Whoever said that nothing is impossible obviously never tried to slam a revolving door... Computer nerds have this ridiculous need to make up stupid terms for everything! If at first you don't succeed do it like your mother told you... If it's tourist season...why can't we shoot 'em? Can you shift gears...? Or are you stuck on stupid...? What not to say to a police man..."can you hold my beer while I get out my license?" "I thought you had to be in good shape to be a cop." "You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?" When a police man asks if you knew how fast you were going don't say, "You should know moron your the one who pulled me over!" but it is okay to think it. "Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God" There are two kinds of Pedestrians in the world; The quick and the dead!! Right now I'm having Amnesia and Deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before... I only have PMS on the days that end in the letter 'y'. They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people". Well I think the guns helps. If you stood there and said BANG, I don't think you'd kill many people!! A friend will help you move a body, a BEST friend would help you move the dead body of your ex-boyfriend to the ditch on the side of the freeway!! Sarcasm is your bodies natural defense against stupid! Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over! I finally got my head together and than my body fell apart! I only do what the voices tell me to do!! Growing old is mandatory! Growing up is optional!! One of life's many mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make you gain five pounds!! Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't!! Marriage is finding the special someone to annoy for the rest of your life! Lead me not into temptation. I already know the way!! I don't do perky; I am perky! I didn't say it was your fault! I said I was going to blame you!! I'd tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and I don't want to see you everyday A girl asked a boy if she was pretty. Girl: Do you really love me? Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. And one more person that will never love If you're against abortion, re-post this If you don’t believe in stereotypes, copy this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consectutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile. If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile. Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you have an MP3 and love rocking out to it, post on profile. If you would kill to have wings, post on profile If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your werewolf boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile Post this on your profile if you hate racism The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... only to tell the police to lynch him. You see a typo. You look at the keyboard. The two letters are on opposite sides off the keyboard and think ‘How the hell does that happen?... Must be one really bright retard’ My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself. Change Is Inevitable, Except From A Vending Machine Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you! Friends are gods way of apologizing for family. Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. Life was so simple when boys had cooties. All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later. When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. I don't obsess! I think intensely. I put the FUN in DisFUNctional :) It's all fun and games until someone get hurt...then its hilarious. I dream of a better tomorrow--when chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned. I dont have a short attention span, i just...oh look, a kitty! Never go to bed angry, stay up and plot your revenge. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' and 'l' in it? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"? Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler? Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’? Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin? Boys are like slinkeys. Completely useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what your up too Children... you spend 2 years teaching them how to walk and talk, you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it. Best friends through thick and thin! There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. I was going to take over the world but got distracted by something sparkly When life gives you lemons, make orange juice, then sit back and watch as others stare in awe at you. My knight in shining amour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth Girls only need 3 things: love to make her weak, alcohol to make her strong, and friends to help her up when the first 2 make her hit the ground. We're not sarcastic-we're hilarious We're not annoying-we're just cooler than you We're not bitches-we just don't like you They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them. I smile because I have no idea what's going on! Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems... You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me! I live in my own little world, but it's ok, everyone knows me here I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit When French people swear do they say pardon my English? Has anyone else ever wondered how Alcoholics Anonymous stays Anonymous? 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that? Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it? Trying is the first step toward failure. I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same. The closer you get to the light, the bigger your shadow becomes. Don't take life too seriously, it's not like you're getting out alive. someone should seriosly sue walt disney for making every girl believe she has a prince charming If at first you dont suceed ask him if he has a brother the dinosaur extinction wasn't an accident - barney came and they all commited suicide The difference between humour and tradgety is that humor is when it happens to someone else Always forgive your enimies, nothing annoys them more Remember, God made men first because you always need a rough draft before you make perfection its not cheating untill you get caught i love you is spelt with eight letters, but so is bullshit do you believe in love at first sight or should i walk past again I'm the froot loop in a world of cherrios. You want to know who your real friends are? Screw up and see who's still there Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there's footprints on the moon Silence is golden, duck-tape is sliver "MENstrual pain, MENstrual cramps, MENtal anxiety, MENopause... all of our problems start with MEN!" "When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to find out they are not it." He who laughs last, thinks slowest; He who laughs first, thinks dirtiest Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! KINDERGARTEN: Where the definition of drama was stealing someone's crayons. There's a time for compromise, its called later Life, its nothing like the brochure REARRANGE THE LETTERS DORMITORY: PRESBYTERIAN: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: THEEYES: GEORGEBUSH: THEMORSECODE: SLOTMACHINES: ANIMOSITY: ELECTIONRESULTS: SNOOZEALARMS: ADECIMALPOINT: THEEARTHQUAKES: ELEVENPLUSTWO: 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. 23) THROW a ball up in the air as you start going down and when it hits the floor say: "Isn't it supposed to float?" 24) YELL "Wooooo!!" while raising your arms like your on a roller coaster. 25) STAND in front of the buttons and when someone asks you to move say "I can't, I'm stuck" 26) CHEW on a dog toy and act like nothing's wrong. 25 Things My mother taught me! 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. You say - Pink "They hurt her..." About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them. FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off. Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true. If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you. 'American Idol' made it famous...the radio made it annoying! This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. To freak people out - 1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." Re-post if you laughed. 90 percent of teenagers would have a complete meltdown if Miley Cyrus was on top of the Empire State Building, threatening to jump. Copy and paste this if you would be the one of the 10 percent of teenagers encouraging her to jump! 92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their heads off at the others.! If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and throw those lemons back in the face of the person who gave them to you until you get the oranges you originally asked for. If you agree copy and paste this into your profile. If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! If you agree copy and paste this into your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have OORFS (Over Obsessive Rabid Fangirl Syndrome) And proud of it, copy this and paste it in your profile. Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...) When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. I've built a wall, not to block people out but to see who loves me enough to climb over it Random Quotes: Lincoln Six-Echo: What’s “God”? McCord: Well, you know, when you want something really bad and you close your eyes and you wish for it? God’s the guy that ignores you. --The Island McCord: Jeez, why do I always have to be the one to tell the kids there is no Santa Claus? --The Island "Lead, follow, or get out of the way." --Thomas Paine "Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it." --Thomas Paine "We cannot make events. Our business is wisely to improve them." --Samuel Adams "You need people of intelligence for this sort of mission...quest...thing."--Pippin-LOTR-FotR "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada and stuff." --Britney Spears (this is why you don't die your hair with bleach--see, look, I just spelled dye wrong, she's already killing my brain cells) "And I'm his Doctor! Therapist! Boss! Slave-Master! Thing!" --St. Fang of Boredom in A Day in Therapy. "I just copied the word paste." --The Monster being brilliant as always Customer: Can you tell me where the produce section is? Fang: -shrugs- Customer: Can you tell me where the bathrooms are? Fang: -shrugs-Customer: Can you tell me anything? Fang: -shrugs- -Fang and a Wal-Mart customer in Job Listings Anne: I’m thankful that I’m not your real mother, and I have a license to kill. Flock: 0_o Anne: And I want to adopt all of you! - From xxgldxx's MR SPOOF. "Is this supposed to happen?" "To us?" "Yeah." "Pretty much, yes." --Casper and The Monster. Note: I'm glad I only heard the end of that conversation. "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, "I'm from the government and I'm here to help." --Ronald Reagan "Everyone takes it for granted that they're real, but I have to try to be real. And if you try to be real, what are you?" --The Secret to Lying "The jaws of darkness do devour it up; So bright things come to confusion." --A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act I, Scene I (out of The Secret to Lying) "If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you." --Oscar Wilde "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." --Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act III The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror. --Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891 The Stupid Test! everyone! join in! you have done at least 5 of these. i know. im physic. 1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out 2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails 3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it 61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! you have been diagnosed /l、 Copy Kitty onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have Jacob Black and Nessie Cullen!) Boys: can't live with em, and it's illegal to shoot em. What to do, what to do... Yes, I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around in my underwear. Thank you very much! Did you know that muffins are just ugly cupcakes... A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ass is mine." He lost 63 pounds that week. Let this be a lesson... Put when life gives you a hundred reasons to cry show life a thousand reasons to smile :) beauty in shape or looks won't last but beauty in heart and soul are meant forever under my clothes i am completly NAKED XD Night World Oath When I see a girl with Cancer, I will remember Poppy North. When I see James Dean, I will think of James Rasmussen. When I look up at the stars, I will see Mary-Lynnette Carter. When I see a lazy cat, I will Remeber Ash Redfern. When I see sibiling rivalry, I will see Blaise and Thea Harmen. When I see an animal, I will think of Eric Ross. When I see snow, I will remember Gillain Harmen. When I think of Heaven, I will remember Gary(Angel). When I see something burn black, I will think of David Blackburn When I see an orphan, I will think of Rashel Jordan. When I see and cold hearted man, I will remember John Quinn. When I Get deja vu, I will think of Hannah Snow. When I see sadness in someones eyes, I will remember Thierry Descouedres. When I see fire, I will see Jezbel Redfern. When I see someone being cocky, I will think of Morgead Blackthorn. When I someone who's determined, I will remember Maggie Neeley. When I see royalty, I will think of Delos Redfern. When I see a black cat, I will see Raksha Keller. When I see a golden Lepard, I will see Galen Drache. 1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public. 2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public. 3.Do not answer fictional characters in public. 4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public. 5.Do not go out in public. 6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4. 7.Note expressions. 8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you. 9.Floor is slippery when wet. 10.Lake is slippery when dry. 11.Only talk to strangers you know. 12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all. 13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note. 14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you. 15.Kill them for security purposes. 16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings. 17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible. 18.The men in white coats are not your friends. 19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects. 20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket. 21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning. 22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. 23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age. 24.Always remember, um... um... Damn. 25.Train army of flying monkeys. 26.Goldfish don't like milk. 27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits. 28.Find out who invented the word "pianist". 29.People are staring at you. 30.So act insane. 31.People are weird, but not as weird as me. 32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth. 33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people. 34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible. 35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding. 36.Never pet a burning dog. 37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka. 38.Naked men dig parkas. 39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka. 40.You know what would look good on you? 41.Immolated cockroaches. 42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug. 43.The size of Danny DeVito. 44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this. 45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers. 46.Stalking is fun. Do it more. 47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!" 48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world. 49.That way is rum. 50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t. 52.You cannot kill the snow. 53.The snow can kill you. 54.Grass can also kill you. 55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms... 56.Catch and castrate leprechaun. 57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say. 58.Staple paper in the middle of the page. 59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally. 60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that. 61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs. 62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon. 63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway? 64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork. 65.Remember to kill HIM... 66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood. 67.Note reactions. Avoid parents. 68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory. 69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice. 70.Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions. 71.Eat the evidence. 72.But not if it's broken glass. 73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run. 74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids. 75.Disregard last note. 76.Note reactions. 77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year. 78.Stock up on ball point pens. 79.Learn to fly. Tell no one. 80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing. 81.Do not stick fingers into blender. 82.Blender... Bad... Ouch. 83.Blood loss is bad. 84.Find way to re-attatch fingers. 85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM. 86.Answer every question with a question. 87.Ask people what gender they are. 88.Note reactions. 89.Refer to people as "mortal". 90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me. 91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible. 92.Start by drowning them in fire ants. 93.Find the creators of pop-up messages. 94.Kill them. 95.Brutally. 96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination. 97.Dunk head in boiling water. 98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7. 99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling! 100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down... Vampire Diaries Oath I promise to remember Bonnie when I think of Witches Roses are red, |
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