![]() I am a 17 year old male who is a big fan of fan fiction. Right now i probably won't write stories so i'll be adding those copy and paste things until then so enjoy and wait until then. My favorite animes are D.gray-man, pokemon, black cat, soul eater, fruits basket, naruto, fairy tale, bleach, vandread, and claymore. So when i start expect them to be about these. - Human Power - I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you can read this, put it in your profile. Do it one by one, don't look ahead! 1. write the name of a person of the opposite sex. 2. which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue,yellow and green. 3. your first initial? 4. your month of birth? 5. which color do you like more, black or white? 6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 7. your favorite number? 8. do you like California of Florida more? 9. do you like the lake or ocean more? 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.) are you done? If so, scroll down (Don't cheat--) The Answers 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and you life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. 3. If you're initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If You were born in: Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will no long but the memories will last forever July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good. Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate. 5. If you choose... Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change. white: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. 8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person. 9. If you choose... Lake: You are loyal to you friends and you love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people 10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hours and it will come true before your next birthday Copy and paste this if you've called someone a baka/teme/etc. before, and then remembered they don't watch anime and can't take offense.(Aha, his face was PRICELESS...) 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" Things that do NOT actually work, despite the fact that they seem really cool in anime 1. Magic 2. Jumping off of buildings and landing on your feet 3. Defying the laws of physics with “mad martial arts skills” 4. Slapping your best friend to make them see how stupid they are being (this usually only pisses people off) 5. Meeting eyes in unspoken consent and kissing under the sunset 6. Pulling a sledgehammer out of thin air 7. Using said sledgehammer to pound lecherous boys 8. Talking animals 9. Lame ass excuses that seem to fool everyone despite how utterly insane they are. 10. The excuse “I fell down the stairs”. 11. Humans that turn into talking animals 12. Getting off from peeking at a girl’s panties with little more than a slap across the face 13. Being known as the cool and handsome brooder (doom and gloom just annoys people) 14. Miraculously surviving a ten story drop with just a broken arm 15. Being the “cute dingbat”. Dingbats are just a pain. Trust me, I know. 16. Giant fighting mecha 17. Perverted nosebleeds 18. On that note, loveable perverts. Nobody likes a pervert. I know about that, firsthand, too 19. Lewd comments being funny (they aren’t funny. They are sexual harassment, and in this country, you can be arrested for it) 20. Being blatantly truthful (Trust me, nobody likes an honest asshole. Lying makes the world go round) 21. Darkly chuckling at something and then walking away. It annoys people more than it intrigues them 22. Being the class clown (Nobody will like you) 23. Shotacon (That’s pedophilia) 24. Lolicon (Same as above 25. Dressing as a boy to go to an all boy’s school. 26. People thinking that you are “sexy” because you’re a transvestite 27. Boys that look like girls in every way. 28. Offering to give a girl a “full body inspection” 29. Giant-ass swords 30. Steam shooting out of your ears when you are embarrassed 31. Sweatdrop appearing on your head when you’re thinking “what the fuck!?” 32. Vein mark appearing on your forehead when you are angry 33. Flash step 34. Kamehameha! 35. Triple wall jump 36. Regeneration 37. A brilliant comeback at the very last minute due to a totally obvious realization about yourself 38. Coming back to life 39. Extra lives 40. Being utterly unable to die because you are the hero 41. Dropkicking your son to the face to make him fight you 42. Being charred alive and having your skin blackened 43. Shaking said blackened skin off and being completely fine 44. Getting electrocuted by 10,000,000 volts and surviving 45. Punches that can break a stone pillar 46. Throwing someone off a cliff just by tapping them with your pinky 47. Surviving being cut in half by a katana 48. Amazingly discovering your true potential at the last second and saving the day 49. Saving the day and getting the girl 50. Being so angry that a thunderstorm appears over your head 51. Eating a huge meal in five seconds (Doesn’t happen, no matter how ravenously hungry you are) 52. Vampires 53. Angels 54. Demons 55. SUPER SAIYAN 3!!! 56. Eyes that are larger than the nose 57. Hairstyles that defy gravity 58. Natural breasts larger than size double D (No matter how much guys pray to the god of boobs) 59. Reverse vampires 60. Costume changes in three seconds with character going naked first 61. Having no dick or boobs when they do go naked 62. A glare sufficing to shake someone down 63. Smacking someone and sending them flying 64. Cooking that looks like toxic waste 65. Creating weapons out of pure energy 66. Falling over when something stupid happens 67. Harem situations 68. Ghosts 69. Mind control 70. Espers 71. Aliens 72. Time travelers 73. Shinigami 74. Post apocalyptic utopias 75. Girls growing penises 76. The power of an attack being directly proportionate to how loudly the person yells its name, and, less frequently so, how long the name is. 77. Eating so much that you get a pot belly and then losing the belly ten seconds later 78. Boys that should in all respects be girls 79. Evil overlords who seemingly have no flaws, but then finding the flaw at the last moment and kicking their ass. 80. Swords that can cut through steel 81. Humans having godlike powers 82. Quincy 83. Super strength 84. A five year old being smarter than Einstein 85. Integrated Data Thought Entity 86. Dragons 87. Spellcasters 88. Dhampirs 89. Death Notes 90. Flying castles 91. Guys who eat only candy 92. Prosthetic bodies 93. Swords that have souls in them 94. Jumping 20 feet in the air 95. Chakra 96. Racial memory 97. Innocence 98. Ridiculously overpowered supervillains *coughcoughaizencoughcough 99. Foxlike grins *coughcoughgincoughcough* 100. Final battles that destroy an entire city. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have music in your soul, copy and paste this in your profile! If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you've been copying and pasting random things into your profile you know what to do You Know You Live in 2007 When... 1. you go to a party, sit down, and take myspace/facebook pics Stupid test: 18 or lower means you’re not stupid. `Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking. `You have ran into a tree. You have accidentally caught something on fire Sometimes you just stop thinking You have eaten a bug. You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you. Do YOU remember the 90s?? Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it. You're a 90's kid if you remember: You remember watching -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life. -Animaniacs -Gargoyles So tell me whatcha want, whatcha really, really want!! I'll tell ya what I want what I really really want!! 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ... Post this on your profile to make someone smile thats just like you! 7 Ways to Scare your roommates 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile. If you have ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. When it appears you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. Do not go search for something in the basement, especially if the power has just gone out. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not speak, or if they speak to you using a voice which is not their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you the grief in the long run. *NOTE* It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go alone. As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum or any other house of the dead. If you are searching for something which caused a loud noise and you find out it’s just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out. Do not take *anything* from the dead. If you find a town which looks deserted, it’s probably for a good reason. Take the hint and stay away. Don’t fool around with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you are doing. If you’re running away from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, developing a fascination with blood, glowing eyes, foaming at the mouth and increasing hairiness, get away from them as fast as possible. Stay away from certain geographical locations. Such as: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog, the Bermuda Triangle or any small town in Maine. If your car runs out of gas late at night, don’t go to the nearby deserted looking house to call for help. Likewise if your car has broken down, and the only refuge for miles is that creepy old mansion/castle on the hill. Stay in the car. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, lawnmowers, butane torches, smoldering irons, band saws or any device made from deceased companions. Listen closely to the soundtrack and pay attention to the audience. They are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be. Never listen to music that contains staccato shrieking violins. If you are a woman, never strip and take a shower in slow motion. Do not keep all your sharpened kitchen knives in one of those wooden block thingies on your worksurface. The first woman to either lose or remove her clothing is dead meat. The guy with the testosterone overdose is also dead meat. Along with the guy that is always making jokes When you are searching a house because you think there is something dangerous there, turn on the damn lights! Never back out of one room into another without looking. It’s always behind you. If you are traveling with friends, never let any hitch hikers into the van with you. It’ll be the worst (if not the last) day of your life. Never babysit.There are enough babysitter-in-danger-thanks-to-a-stupid-killer flicks out there already. If you ARE stupid enough to babysit, never try on the mom’s nightgown collection. You’ll only end up showing more skin. Remember: Skin=Death. If you are being chased, never lean against the wall when you think you lost him. He’ll just pop through and kill you. Same goes for leaning against the window. If you are at your Senior prom, and the school reject has just won prom queen, slowly back away and run for the exit. All hell is about to break loose. Always remember — SEX=DEATH! For Other Life Saving Tips If you are a stoner among other stoners, be the quiet one or the lovable one. All the other stoners will be killed. If the killer has stalked you over the phone lines, don’t take a job as a phone counselor. Never let someone hypnotize you at a party. Stay away from sewers. If you sense something is behind you, don’t bother turning around to check. Just run. If you are trying to escape the killer, sliding through the cat door in the electronic garage door will not help you any. After you manage to kill the monster/killer, never sit beside it and cry. It will suddenly pop back up to finish the job. Never go to camp or become a counselor. You’ll be dead by the end of summer. Never say “I’ll be right back.” You won’t be back. End of story. Don’t ever do something just because someone dares you to. If you ever visit some distant planet and find objects that look like eggs, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! Then when one of your spaceship’s crew members finds a hideous parasite attached to his body (as a result of breaking the previous rule), don’t let him back on the ship. When a hideous alien menace is hunting you (as a result of breaking the previous two rules) NEVER wander off alone to hunt for the ship’s cat. If someone tells you to do or not to something (example: DON’T fall asleep, DON’T go out there, DON’T go look for the homicidal-chainsaw-wielding psychopath by yourself) by all means, LISTEN TO THEM!! A small town’s little summer celebration might sound like fun. But if you hear the locals say things like, “Why you’re the guest of honor! We couldn’t even have the barbecue with out you!”, run like hell. If you are trapped in a house surrounded by demons, making coffee will not help anyone. Always be nice to the shy, quiet, unpopular girl in school. Clowns never have, nor will they ever be helpful to hang around while in a horror movie. As harmless as the might seem, they WILL kill you once you let your guard down. Never go back for anything you lost. Avoid people with pointy teeth. Avoid people with lots of facial hair. Avoid people with pale complexions who sway and moan, If the barber remarks on the “666″ tattoo your kid has, abandon the kid and move to Irkutsk. If you see a burly man wearing a hockey mask and toting a chainsaw, DO NOT stick around to see if he’s with the Philadelphia Flyers. Never buy your kid a toy that talks back. Remember: Just say “NO” to human blood. Never watch a horror movie while you’re in a horror movie. Never, under any circumstance, plan a camping trip that coincides with Friday the 13th. Pigs blood is not now, nor has it ever been funny. If the young girls of the neighborhood start singing songs about bogeymen while jumping rope, consider moving. If you hit a man with a car in the middle of the night and try to roll him off of a dock, make sure that he is dead! Never EVER play with any Ouijia board that you find in the basement of your newly bought, run-down house. Never run into a deserted graveyard at night, If you are running away from the killer/monster, don’t even try to start the car. It doesn’t matter if the car is brand new, it won’t start. If running from the monster/killer, try to make the least amount of noise possible. Especially if you are female. Panting, crying and screaming is not going to help you hide any better. For pete’s sake…NEVER stick your hand down the garbage disposal. Especially if you just heard strange noises in your house or while sinister music is playing. Don’t marry a guy that has Satan Worshipers as friends. They will want you to birth the new Anti-Christ. Never answer the phone when you are babysitting. Just get the hell out of there and leave the kids for dead. If you think you see your girlfriend/boyfriend and they are wearing a mask, not talking, or conspicuously hiding their face, it’s not them. Don’t be mean to the new kid. They will just end up killing you. If you hear a strange noise coming from upstairs that sounds similar to, oh let’s say a severed head falling to the floor, don’t go trying to find out what it is. Never touch something that just oozed out of a comet that landed near an abandoned farm house. When battling zombies, always sever their head or shoot them in the brain. If you they still want to eat you after that, just surrender. There’s no hope for you anyway. Never wait until you NEED the gun to check and see if it’s loaded. If you have to stay out in the woods or at camp you’re pretty much screwed. But at least you’ll have a fighting chance in the cabin. Never EVER take the tent. Never try to unmask the killer. Never hide in a closet. If you buried your child in a strange place and he came back as a demon, DON’T bury your wife in the same place. If you find the mangled body of a friend, camping partner, janitor, or whom ever, don’t stay and investigate. Run like hell. Don’t spend a lot of time in houses decorated with an excessive amount of medieval weaponry. It will be used eventually. Don’t make a documentary that requires you to hike through the woods while looking for a witch that leaves stick figures hanging in trees. If you are going to the bathroom in a movie theater and you think you hear a guy and a girl making out in the stall next to you, don’t put your ear closer to the wall to listen. If you see a short guy wearing green and wearing a shamrock hat, I wouldn’t stick around to ask about his pot of gold. Never transport the killer in an ambulance from one place to another. Even if they’ve been in a coma for 10 years, they’ll wake up. Never listen to strange voices on the telephone. Never say “Who’s there?” If your hand has been possessed by the Force of Evil, do NOT chop off your hand. Doing so will merely allow the disembodied hand the freedom to wreak havoc independent of your body. And now you have to spend the rest of the film trying to track it down, If you have a feeling you’ll end up being chased by zombies during the night, remember to wear comfortable running shoes. After babysitting, don’t walk down any deserted streets with lots of trees and bushes, but no lights. If you are a girl with long blond hair, blue eyes and big boobs, well, you are pretty much screwed. Always check the backseat of your car before you get in. When running away from the killer/monster, NEVER run upstairs. If you see someone who is within screaming distance while running from the killer/monster, for the love of god, SCREAM!! If a giant shark is chasing your family, don’t go swimming. Actually, stay away from the water, period. If you are babysitting, don’t let the kids play with the Chucky doll. If one night you see a dark haired girl carrying around dolls with the eyes scratched out, back away slowly, then run like hell. If you go to your school library and there are a lot of books having to do with vampires and demons…move away ASAP If you are fleeing from a killer or supernatural being and you see a cop car, run right by it. There are three possible ways that things will turn out if you try to get the cops attention and none are good: A. The cop is already dead in some gruesome way that will cause you to scream and alert the killer/monster as to where you are. B. The cop will probably end up dead as he tries to help you, this will only distract the killer away from you for a few seconds, but chances are you will end up getting killed anyway. C. The supernatural being has assumed the form of a cop and just when you If the locals say the camp is haunted, it probably is. If people in your neighborhood have been disappearing and there’s talk about a surge of any type of insect…move. stubborn home owners always die. When and if you fall while running and the killer/monster is near you, don’t just sit there screaming like someone will hear you. Get up and RUN!! Kill the Scientist. No matter what else you do, kill him off right away. They always want to study “it,” or take “it” back to the corporate masters, or learn from “it” at the expense of comrades lives. Eggheads are always trying to understand the unknown, and get nearly everyone killed doing it. Get a clue, kill the guy with the pocket protector, he’s going to sacrifice you anyway. If the killer is after you and you somehow manage to knock him down, If the movie is directed by someone named Wes Craven or John Carpenter, you’re pretty much screwed. If the killer/monster is dead, don’t dig up his grave to try to do a final resurrection. He will only come back to life. If you disobey the previous rule, don’t try cutting off his head or anything If the killer is standing three feet in front of you, don’t just stand there and scream while he comes running towards you. It may comes as a shock, but he DOES in fact want to kill you. A female should never wear a white shirt without a bra while escaping the monster. It will only increase your chances of falling and causing a freak rainstorm that will make your shirt transparent and result in your immediate death. If you live in Maine and your hometown includes a clown driving a car he calls Christine with a large ,rabid St. Bernard in the backseat, while residing in an old, haunted hotel near a strange Pet Cemetery and hangs out with teenage girls with telekinetic powers….you’re pretty much screwed. If you DO happen to get killed, make sure it’s in a cheap low-budget gore-fest with no plot, so you can come back and kick ass, no explanation needed. Stack up on ammunition. A lot of it. Monsters/killers tend to require enough bullets to down a small army. Tho for some reason you seem to be better off with handguns - automatic weapons tend to be regarded as hubristic. So yeah, lots of ammo, two or three handguns. Never look behind you. Ever Its not a bottle opener, its an ax. If the music suddenly gets faster, start running. If the music suddenly stops, start running. One of your friends just died giving you time to escape. If you're in the desert and you come upon a rundown gas station with a creepy old man who spends his time in the back room, DON'T take his advice and use the "short cut" to the highway. Always follow the long, familiar road. If your kid steals your lipstick and starts writing on the walls about strangely-colored alcoholic drinks, kill the kid and run like hell before your husband gets home! If invited to live in a Glasshouse, don't make quips about throwing stones. Get back in your truck and return to your rundown apartment. If a spooky voice says "Don't go in the basement". It's probably the best idea to not go in the basement. As a matter of fact, you probably just shouldn't be in the house. If a naked guy walks towards you, don't even wait for him to ask to have your clothes. Take them off and run for he will rip your heart out. If your roommates boyfriend is visiting that night, don't even bother calling home - they're both dead. The barking dogs know all. Wearing headphones while listening to loud music is death. If you are a little kid you are guaranteed to make it out alive. You may need years of counseling after you a) almost got sucked into hell, b) are running from a robot more badass than Arnold even though Arnold himself is watching your back, c) were born to a dad whose buddies were Satanists, d) are staying alone in a creepy Colorado cabin in the dead of winter that's been known to drive people insane, e) were possessed by demons, or f) are staying at a camp/ in a house where the babysitters/counselors are being picked off one by one...but you will make it out alive. Imaginary friends will always end up killing you or the child that imagined it. Or both. Always. Get over it. Or just kill your child. When you believe the smell of blood is enriching and you have signs of "the mark of the beast", kill yourself. You'll save everyone from a really bad ending to a low-budget Horror. If tall dark handsome men start stalking you, don't flirt with them, RUN! If someone gives you a warning, TRY LISTENING! Wear a cross at all times. never ever stop at an abandoned rest stop after seeing a yellow pick up truck.. that can only end up badly.. never take a shower after almost escaping the killer.. you will die. Never, ever go anywhere by yourself if you can help it, and don't go to the bathroom, cuz then the killer or whatever will just kill you there in some terrifying way. Oh, if random people come up to you and they don't speak (or just grunt) and REALLY smell, run away from them; chances are, they want to eat you. Stay away from children in general. Especially freaky little girls. If someone looks like they've been deprived of oxygen lately, leave. If there's a really cool house on the market that NO-ONE else is interested in and the selling price is way too low and the locals won't go near it to save their souls, don't buy it. If you're stuck in a zombie or a vampire movie, stay away from the graveyard Invest in cloves of garlic and silver weaponry... Don't consult a priest. Chances are they'll really piss off the spirit and make things worse. If you are one of a bunch of college kids who are incidentally on a road trip and (incidentally) your car breaks down for any reason at all... You're probably going to die a brutal death, probably at the hand of some genetic feak. Or if you live... you're going to die in the sequel. Podpeople are not and never will be your friends. Do not watch your neighbors, who maybe, kinda, possibly, might be a serial killer who has succesfully killed a shit load of people. Chances are, he knows you've been watching, and he's already killing your best friend. And girlfriend. And mom. If your Asian... congrats... You've survived. (Unless your in some cheesy knock-off of a Japanese or Asian film) Rule of thumb: If you are running away from the killer, run to the kitchen. There are enough pointy objects there that accidental deaths happen all the time. If the killer was just "right there", but now is nowhere to be found, he's above you. Always. Don't look, just run. Don't investigate the noise in the attic. Or basement. Especially if you know that people have had their souls ripped out in the attic/basement. Ditto about the guns. Handguns are lighter too. This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. -A good friend will bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting -A good friend will care for you when you hurt, a true friend will be -Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. -If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging! -The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the -I love Deadlines! I like the whoosh noise they make as they go by. -Curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction brought it back. -In a dog-eat-dog world the best thing to do is become a cat. -If the good die young then the bad die old; thus leaving us with only -Goldfish have the memory span of 3 seconds, sometimes i have to wonder -A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could -A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend -A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. When life gives me lemons, I make orange juice and leave the world to wonder how the heck I managed it. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you. If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried. I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it. Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on. Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday. Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them. Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas. If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating. Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with! That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. When in doubt, push random buttons! Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter. When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people... Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking. He who laughs last thinks slowest. I'm not cynical, everything just sucks. I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid. It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss. There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots. The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good. I'm not as dumb as you look. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. Sarcasm is one more service we offer. Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck. I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to. Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. Repost this if you laughed... "Everywhere we go Everywhere we go People wanna know People wanna know Who we are Who we are So we kill them So we kill them We’re Akatsuki We’re Akatsuki The Mighty Akatsuki The Mighty Akatsuki We’re GRRRRREAT!"- a Naruto fanfiction 16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" Repost this if you laughed... The Situation in Hell The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A." The Top 100 Things I'd Do 1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones. 2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. 3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. 4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies. 5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness. 6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them. 7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No." 8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out. 9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such. 10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well. 11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat. 12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. 13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal. 14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request. 15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation. 16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know." 17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice. 18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time. 19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father. 20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly. 21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set. 22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head. 23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks. 24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.) 25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot. 26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber. 27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times. 28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble. 29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion. 30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief. 31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick. 32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by. 33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions. 34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. 35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X. 36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison. 37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant. 38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age. 39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army. 40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve. 41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices. 42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around. 43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans. 44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance. 45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling. 46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor. 47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature. 48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge. 49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper. 50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks. 51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position. 52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about. 53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her. 54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary. 55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention. 56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice. 57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual. 58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner. 59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am. 60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords. 61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them. 62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight. 63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals. 64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage. 65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment. 66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system. 67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency. 68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again. 69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild. 70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner. 71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no. 72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them. 73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win. 74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk. 75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time. 76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.) 77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer. 78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical." 79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins. 80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress. 81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw. 82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure. 83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him. 84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex. 85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button." 86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded. 87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them. 88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again. 89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him. 90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door. 91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important. 92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.) 93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first. 94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value. 95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look. 96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa. 97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled. 98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution. 99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size. 100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access. This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached. If you doubt your own sanity all the time, copy and paste this onto your profile If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile. Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile. If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile. If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this into your profile. If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. ~There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you have a tendency to talk to your self, copy and paste this into your profile If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile If You like chocolate as much as I do, copy this into your profile. 98 percent of the population has a myspace. If you're one of the 2 percent that doesn’t, copy and paste this in your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you believe that, in another dimension, Johnny Depp actually is Captain Jack Sparrow, copy this into your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, blissfulmememories, Vampire Apple, Kitsune Onna1, YourConscience813, angelicordemonic138, Demon's Sinner, kittybella, Fairylust, Alpha and Omega 1394. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: NARUHAREM FOREVA, Mizuki Yagami, danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Kuro Uchiha, Sacra Nox,kagome yuna's daughter, Justified Assasin, Haruka-Hime, sunstar Kitsune, Penneay7, Alpha and Omega 1394... If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't. This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done! If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile. 95 Percent of teens would have a breakdown if The Jonas Brothers were standing on the edge of a tower ready to jump, copy and paste if your a part of the 5 who would bring a lawn chair and popcorn!! If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise verse copy this into your profile If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not, copy this into your profile If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile(I'm insane) If you think that those god-for-saken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile. If your parents have ever told you that you weren't normal, and are proud of it copy this to your profile. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. NON RELATED OMAKE: MADARA'S BIG MISTAKE. It had finally happened. After years of waiting, watching from afar, and dare she say it, stalking, it had finally happened. She was on a date with Naruto, and it was like she’d always dreamed. The night had been perfect. Naruto had picked her up from the manor, and impressed her father by not showing any intimidation. So much so, that he’d given his blessing, and encouraged her not to waste the opportunity. Not only had he dressed up, but the look on his face when he’d seen her had made her blush from head to toe. He’d taken her to the new sushi place in the restaurant district, and they’d had a wonderful dinner. Afterwards, he’d taken her on a walk through the village, which ended on top of the Hokage Monument. Being alone with Naruto, and the encouraging words from her father, had given her the courage to tell him how she felt; just as the twinkling lights of Konoha came on. The view was breathtaking, and had perfectly set the mood for what was coming; far too slowly in her opinion, but still coming. She’d almost fainted when he called her beautiful, and called himself a fool for not noticing her before. Now, Naruto’s arms were wrapped around her waist, she was being held tightly against the man she loved, and his lips were steadilydescending towards hers. It was perfect, just like she’d always dreamed…at least until they were interrupted. With reflexes of the S-rank shinobi that he was rapidly becoming, Naruto had grabbed Hinata, and pulled them both away from the massive fireball that scorched the ground they’d just been standing on. A second later, a man appeared, wearing an Akatsuki cloak, and an orange mask with a single eyehole. The man removed his mask to reveal a handsome face. Delicate, aristocratic, features, that were almost feminine stared back at them. Not anything compered to Naruto, in Hinata’s opiniong, but still handsome by any standards. The thing that stood out the most, were the three spinning tomoe in his right eye. The tomoe of the Sharingan practically destroyed any trust she may have even considered having in the man; even moreso than the Akatsuki cloak he wore. When he spoke, his voice came out in a low, smooth timbre that sent shivers up Hinata’s spine. Now for any other woman, it would have been those naughty shivers accompanied by naughty thoughts. For Hinata, they were shivers of revulsion, as if she’d been unwantingly groped by a perverted noble that she couldn’t retaliate against.“So sorry to ruin your date, but I must ask Naruto-kun to come with me.” The man said. “He has something that I need in his belly, and I shall wait no longer to have it.”“Look, if you want to fight me for the damned fox, then can we do it some other time, I’m kind of busy right now.” Naruto pulled Hinata closer to him, if that was even possible.“Ah yes, the lovely heiress to the Hyuuga clan.” He remarked. “If it’s any consolation, I was always rooting for you when it came to Naruto-kun’s affections. Sakura-chan just didn’t seem like a good fit. Too bad it took so long to happen, I almost feel bad for having to do this. Then again, if Naruto-kun weren’t so good at killing members of my organization, I wouldn’t have had to resort to this.” “What can I say?” Naruto retorted. “It’s a gift.” The man smiled. “You will come with me Kyuubi, or I will make you.” His face softened. “And I’d hate to have to ruin those snazzy duds.” Naruto easily slipped into a fighting stance. “You’ll have to kill me first.” The mans features hardened, before he gave a snarl, and spoke in a threatening tone “Or how about I kill the girl first, then capture you.” The two uber shinobi glared at each other, Hinata off to the side seemingly forgotten as their killing intent spiked in a duel to overpower the other, and gain a psychological advantage. It is often said that it’s the quiet ones were the most dangerous, and the onest that you had to watch out for. In Konoha, that meant that Hinata and Shino were potentially the two most deadly shinobi in the village. For one Hinata Hyuuga, her moment of absolution was at hand. The normally sweet, shy, slow to anger kunoichi was swiftly losing her calm. After all the years of trying to confess her love, and all of the attempts to woo Naruto; to have her perfect moment ruined. Now as a Hyuuga, Hinata had always been taught to enhance her calm on the surface, no matter how angry she was underneath. This dastardly act of intrusion, however, was unforgivable, and the perpetrator would face her wrath. Her face a picture of rage, Hinata snapped. Her chakra, which had jumped easily to kage level, explodeds from her.The two shinobi, who had for the past few moments been concentrated on each other, were startled from their figurative dick measuring contest by a massive murderous intent that dwarfede them both. Luckily for Naruto, it wasn’t directed at him. When they turned to the third member of their party, what they saw froze them in shock. A visible chakra aura, the likes of which only Naruto had been previously known to project, was blazing in the shape of a blue flame. Within this flame stood the most beautiful creature that either man had ever seen. Hinata was standing there, looking the very picture of an avenging angel. The ankle length, black dress that had hugged her round, womanly curves was now slit to the thighs on both sides. The wind created by the massive chakra blowing the dress in such a way, that it revealed generous expanses of her long, sensuous legs; the smooth porcelain skin, shapely calves, creamy, well toned, thighs, rounded bot…ahem, sorry…moving on now. For Naruto, the sight of that much of those…ahem…sexy legs, made his pants tighten and a trickle of blood slip from his nose. One look at her face, which normally held a sweet countenance was twisted into a mask of fury. Her normally kind eyes were flooded with utter rage, her activated Byakugan adding to the picture. Her hair was whipping about her head like and indigo halo, and her hands, which were fisted at her sides, were coated in a condensed layer of chakra. With a battle cry befitting her feelings of being wronged, Hinata Hyuuga attacked MadaraUchiha head on. The surprise attack, as well as the speed at which it was delivered, prevented the man from not only using his incorporeality jutsu, but defending himself in general. She tackled him to the ground and unleashed both heaven and hell’s fury on his Tenketsu with her chakra coated hands. A cloud of dust kicked up from the cratewr that formed when the flailing (in Madara’s case, Hinata was striking with cold, surgical precision) mass of limbs landed.Naruto could only stare in shock at the small cloud of classic anime violence occurring in front of him. While he;d always thought Hinata was cute, and he admitted extremely sexy in that dress, the vicious beauty he was watching right now was doing weird things to his libido. When the dust finally settled, Naruto saw Hinata straightening out her dress, which she now seemed to fill out even more, and Madara on the ground in a bruised, bloody heap of tortured person. His twitching, convulsing form in a two foot deep crater where the attack had taken place. Poor Madara would never be a threat again; for not only did Hinata close every single one of his Tenketsu, but she did it with Chakra Scalpels. Naruto’s Akatsuki troubles were officially over, all because the leader had decided to interrupt a date. As a result of this incident, Konoha gained two S-class ninja in their ranks. When word got out, Kisame and Zetsu decided that they’d rather be allies, as opposed to enemies of the girl that so brutally destroyed Madara Uchiha. The incident had done wondersw for the byoung kunoichi’s confidence as well. While she was still the kind hearted woman she’d always been, she was nho longer shy or easily pushed aside. A couple of the more stubborn Hyuuga elders learned this the very next day. When she’d expressed her intentions with Naruto, they had actually tried to forbid her from marrying him. She didn’t bother closing their chakra points, she just hospitalized the old fogeys with her KI; really why are they still in charge when their hearts are so fragile. After she became the Clan Head, and ordered the removal of the Cage Bird Seal, they again tried to forbid her. This time, they just simply came up missing, courtesy of Neji’s Anbu squad. When questioned about the disappearance, Hyuuga spokeman Hiashi would only say that “the senile old bats had gone exploring in the Forest of Death, and hadn’t been heard from sense”. The morals of this story kids… 1. Always beware the quiet ones.2. Never interrupt them when they’re on their dream date.For any artists reading this omake, just wondering if anyone would take a request. I'd be greatful for a picture of Avenging Angel Hinata. |
Legend of the Dragon by T-Biggz reviews
Ai Youkai by brown phantom reviews
The Black Leaves by Master Tyrant 1 reviews
The New Naruto by Squad-Zero-Taicho reviews
Changing World by wreathdeathscythe reviews
Naruto: Power of the Beast by Jiraiya's Lost Student reviews
The Master Of Summoning by Dragoon Of Darkness reviews
Wolf Style: Hinata Inugami Inuzuka by Moka Mcdowell reviews
Naruto: Shinobi of Lust by YinShadow reviews
Incubus no Konoha by kyosuke-date-the soultaker reviews
Master of Foxes and Serpents by Delfim the Black kitsune reviews
Naruto Genkyouien by Daneel Rush reviews
Naruto's Butterfly by gadman85 reviews
Chronicles of My Shinobi's Way by Naruto6023 reviews
Proeliator of Rutilus Diluculo by Marutectz552 reviews
Naruto the Demonic Swordsman by Shinobi no Ryu reviews
Indomitable by ShaperV reviews
An Innocent Heart by Innocent heart2 reviews
Konoha's Dovahkiin by Halo12094 reviews
Succubi Kunoichi by Wolfpackersson09 reviews
Ocarina of Konoha by lackofname reviews
Naruto: A Seer's Fable by BigCC reviews
Naruto: Demon King of Monstergirls by Raja-Ulat reviews
Naruto: Rise of the Dark Storm by Seeker Pendragon reviews
Naruto Mitarashi by Dragoon Of Darkness reviews
My Princess of Snow by Futanari Queen reviews
Innocence's True Form (on hiatus) by Innocent heart2 reviews
Rosario Vampire: Juubi Chronicles by Rigbutter96 reviews
Tayuya's and Hinata's Enslavement by Dragonrails reviews
NaruKyu Harem by Spirtblade627 reviews
Growing up by coso reviews
The Legacy of Tobirama Senju by Soleneus reviews
Vulpine by Saphroneth reviews
Naruto: Sucuubi King by King of the Fallen reviews
Incubus in Youkai Academy by kyosuke-date-the soultaker reviews
The Blood King by Fan of Fanfics reviews
Enslavement by LoveIs4Suckas reviews
Konoha's young sage by NHunter reviews
Tsunade Challenge by crazelegs12 reviews
Snake's Savior by MDP0014 reviews
The Dark God & Mistress of Lust by Albert da Snake reviews
Naruto the Fox Sage by wolf191000 reviews
Naruto Demon Fox Revolution by 00KingXerxes00 reviews
Naruto's Last Mission by S. Tsunade reviews
Naruto: Rise Of The Storm God by Dmdarts reviews
The Legend of Naruto Uzumaki by BlueLionFox reviews
Naughty Hinata by afydith reviews
Rise of Team Demon by Hyrulian Hero Akai reviews
God of Illusion, Host of the Devil's Arm by Thanathos reviews
Heart of the Musician by Rhien Meoita reviews
I am Legion by Lord Dragon Claw reviews
Incubus Naruto: Ascendance to Makai by AvatarofDeath13 reviews
Life of Uzumaki Naruto by VenomLord reviews
Uzumaki Naruto: SOLDIER of Konoha by VFSNAKE reviews
Sealed to Protect by Port in the Storm reviews
Naruto's Big Secret by Final Knightmare reviews
Naruto: Heir to the city of relics by Froggy-slice reviews
Naruto Fuujinroku by Daneel Rush reviews
A Different Kind of Pokegirl Story by Chaos Kaiser reviews
Fallen Love by Natarii-loves-Chocolate-milk reviews
Consequence or Fate? by Natarii-loves-Chocolate-milk reviews
The Three Seals by Uncle Joe reviews
Nine Tailed Serpent by LT2000 reviews
The Fox Sanin by RasenRaikirinoJutsu03 reviews
Naruto's New Dream by TheFirstHokage reviews
Konoha's Tenrai Tatsumaki by hellogoodbye85 reviews
Kage Scroll by Kyuubi-Naruto19 reviews
Naruto: The Greatest Hero by antiassasinguy reviews